Me No Speak Da Anglisch

While listening to a radio talk show, I suddenly realized how behind the times I am. I haven't kept up with current events English language. The term "expedited removal" sparked my interest. I did some research and discovered other gems of translation, mainly from government documents. You may have stumbled across some of these. Give a real-life translation that anyone could understand. I'll show you what I mean.
(an oldie) "alternate facts" = lies
"expedited removal" = We'll give ya ten minutes to get off our turf,
and don't come back. G'bye.
Have at it. I need language elevation!

Comments

  • Amanda B ReckondwythAmanda B Reckondwyth Mystery Worship Editor
    edited November 28
    General Motors announced yesterday that it is shutting down a number of plants, laying off the workers employed therein, and discontinuing certain car models.

    Oops, sorry. My mistake. The plants are being "unallocated."
  • Good one, Mz Reckondwyth

  • King-sized
    If it's King Donald you're thinking of, it might not mean Extra-Large.
  • edited November 28
    Apparently they reach out but I cannot feel their touch through their phone message.

    My asking for something might have been a problem, I'm glad they clarified it by telling me no problem instead of "you're welcome".
  • General Motors announced yesterday that it is shutting down a number of plants, laying off the workers employed therein, and discontinuing certain car models.

    Oops, sorry. My mistake. The plants are being "unallocated."

    Even Ms Amanda's version isn't free of euphemism
    laying off
    Sacking
    discontinuing
    (more tenuously) stopping making
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