Dating advice (or how to be an ass)

balaambalaam Shipmate, 8th Day Host
There is a need for good solid advice on the complicated etiquette of dating.

This is not that place.

This is the place where my toy stuffed donkey, Xote, will offer up a unique donkey's eye view of the whole human dating scene. I will then offer up his advice.

There may also be some actual good advice in there, but you will probably make an ass of yourself if you follow it.

So fire away with your dating problems. Xote is listening

Comments

  • LeRocLeRoc Shipmate
    Dear Xote (how do I pronounce this? is it a Brazilian x, pronounced as 'sh'?)

    I once asked a lady out to the cinema. At the time, Almodóvar was the director everyone was talking about. When I invited this lady and wanted to impress her, I maaaaaay have exaggerated the extent of my Almodóvar knowledge ever so slightly.

    When we were finally in the cinema, sitting cosily together, the film had rather more, uhm, steamy scenes than I originally expected.

    I mean, I do want to keep it classy. What do I do if this happens a next time?
  • Curiosity killedCuriosity killed Shipmate, 8th Day Host
    Dear Xote,

    My daughter's flatmate has a problem. She is a second year student who was dating the same guy all last year. She has discovered he's dating another of her new flatmates this year. She doesn't want to stop seeing him because he has skills she wouldn't want to miss out on. But his room is a tip, and hers is neat and tidy, so she'd much rather take him back to hers and it seems that the second girl does too.

    What should she do? How should she handle seeing him tiptoeing out of the "wrong" room?

    Mother of concerned flatmate
  • balaambalaam Shipmate, 8th Day Host
    LeRoc wrote: »
    Dear Xote (how do I pronounce this? is it a Brazilian x, pronounced as 'sh'?)

    I once asked a lady out to the cinema. At the time, Almodóvar was the director everyone was talking about. When I invited this lady and wanted to impress her, I maaaaaay have exaggerated the extent of my Almodóvar knowledge ever so slightly.

    When we were finally in the cinema, sitting cosily together, the film had rather more, uhm, steamy scenes than I originally expected.

    I mean, I do want to keep it classy. What do I do if this happens a next time?

    From Xote (Pronounced Hoe-Tay, so that Donkey Xote is pronounced the same as Don Quixote)

    If by steamy you mean there is a lack of clothing do not worry, we donkeys know this is unnecessary except when it is too cold, when a good blanket is sufficient. The human fixation on clothing is illogical to donkeys.

    However is by steamy you are talking os sexual activity in the film, again in donkey culture mating happening openly is not uncommon. We just turn away and eat grass.

    I suggest next time you think a film might be 'steamy' you take along a couple of nosebags of hay. Grazing helps.
  • balaambalaam Shipmate, 8th Day Host
    Dear Xote,

    My daughter's flatmate has a problem. She is a second year student who was dating the same guy all last year. She has discovered he's dating another of her new flatmates this year. She doesn't want to stop seeing him because he has skills she wouldn't want to miss out on. But his room is a tip, and hers is neat and tidy, so she'd much rather take him back to hers and it seems that the second girl does too.

    What should she do? How should she handle seeing him tiptoeing out of the "wrong" room?

    Mother of concerned flatmate

    Fron Xote

    Dear Moct

    There are two issues, wanting to be exclusively with the boyfriend and his untidy room.

    Tidy his room.
  • LeRocLeRoc Shipmate
    balaam wrote: »
    From Xote (Pronounced Hoe-Tay, so that Donkey Xote is pronounced the same as Don Quixote)
    Okay. I admit I didn't see that.

    balaam wrote: »
    I suggest next time you think a film might be 'steamy' you take along a couple of nosebags of hay. Grazing helps.
    D'oh! Why didn't I think of that??
  • LeRoc wrote: »
    balaam wrote: »
    From Xote (Pronounced Hoe-Tay, so that Donkey Xote is pronounced the same as Don Quixote)
    Okay. I admit I didn't see that.
    Probably because he is called Donkey Shot in Dutch. You might find grazing on nuts or crisps more palatable than the suggested hay.
  • Curiosity killedCuriosity killed Shipmate, 8th Day Host
    Dear Xote,

    Another of my daughter's flatmates, took a new girlfriend out for a meal. What worried him was that she refused all cheese. Should he ask her out for another date?

    Yours,

    Supportive parent.
  • balaambalaam Shipmate, 8th Day Host
    From Xote:

    Dear Sp

    He could ask her out for another date, or dates, figs, apricots or prunes.

    But not for cheese.

    If he has a dog named Gromit this could be difficult.
  • Especially if he's from Yorkshire.
  • balaambalaam Shipmate, 8th Day Host
    <As myself>
    Hey, I resemble that remark.
    </me>
  • Curiosity killedCuriosity killed Shipmate, 8th Day Host
    But Xote, this flatmate liked cheese, and this girl wouldn't kiss him if he ate cheese. Surely this is a deal breaker?
  • balaambalaam Shipmate, 8th Day Host
    Surely this is a deal breaker?

    Yes, it is. If he cannot give up cheese and she cannot accept it, not even Wensleydale, move on and put it down to experience.
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