How to ditch the bastard

I'm as romantic as the next man ...

... no, come to think of it the next man may not be romantic ...

... start again.

I am fairly romantic, but not all romances go smoothly, some go toxic.

So here is a thread to give your best advice. It does not matter if it is sneaking out or going further than getting revenge. Real stories are accepted.


  • BoogieBoogie Shipmate
    I had a boyfriend. He was a good bloke, I’m sure he still is. But, when 10cc brought out ‘I’m not in love’ he said “that describes how I feel for you.”

    I ditched him (after I’d met Mr Boogs - ooops :blush:)

    He pleaded with me for weeks to get back with him but I’m a ‘black and white’ sort of girl and couldn’t get over that sort of rejection.
  • Did you ever listen to the lyrics of "I'm not in love"?
  • BoogieBoogie Shipmate
    Did you ever listen to the lyrics of "I'm not in love"?

    Yes, I know.

    But I took it at face value. He was messing with my emotions - and I didn’t much like it. I was only 18.

  • My daughter has the best stories.

    There was the girlfriend of one of the guys in her gaming group at the time who posted a picture of the boyfriend's belongings outside her flat, neatly parcelled in black bin bags on Facebook, 3 hours before the binmen were due. With a message telling him to collect it or lose it. She then blocked him on Facebook so she didn't see him threatening to kill her repeatedly for the next week or so.

    The backstory was that a girl in the gaming group had discovered that she had an STI. Being responsible she contacted everyone she'd slept with in the previous six weeks*, this boyfriend included. When she checked on Facebook to put the message out, she realised that, contrary to what she had been told, the rat was in a relationship. And she suspected he was an irresponsible rat, so contacted the girlfriend, just in case. The girlfriend kept quiet, but got checked out anyway. On discovering she had contracted said STI, so a week later, when the irresponsible rat had still not told her, she tidied him out of her life.

    * The gaming group were all so involved with one another that most of the group had to be checked. It was suggested that a mass visit to the STI clinic, including those who'd been exclusive and clean, followed by going out to dinner afterwards, would be a way to deal with the situation.
  • The other famous story came from, iirc, Kathy Lette who tells the tale of breaking up with someone, because they'd found a new girlfriend. When she went to the boyfriend's flat to collect her things, she left a prawn inside every curtain pole.

    The ex-boyfriend and new girlfriend couldn't find the source of the disgusting smell and eventually moved house to avoid it, taking the curtain poles with them.
  • You slip out the back, Jack...
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