Heavenly Makeover

MiffyMiffy Shipmate
Right! It’s a wet Bank Holiday afternoon here in Blighty. I’ve met my religious obligations: snapped the Cathedral cat, sampled the Cathedral baked potatoes and am stuck waiting for our room to be made up. I need gainful occupation. @Firenze , altar guild supremo (or was it NEQ?) did we or did we not promise months ago that we were going to jazz up the heavenly vestry to mark a certain Pentecost wave of prayer?

And where are we now? Nowhere! Lo, He Comes, or rather came. He Has Gone Up! Yes! And all those cans of Farrrow (auto fill nearly substituted something most unedifying) and Ball ‘Puce with a touch of Nasturtium’ where are they? Gathering dust under a pile of discarded hymn sheets in Colonel Upshot’s garage.

There’s only a week to go. Where will we be on that fateful day? Will we be caught with our brushes unwashed, our prayers unsaved, (I meant unwaved, dratted auto fill again) and our wall emptier than the time Humpty Dumpty had an unfortunate accident?

By no means! I, for one, know where my duty lies! Grab a brush, put on the kettle and join me. No faculty needed. If you do I promise to inscribe your name on an extra special brick for all to see.

(And if you haven’t the foggiest idea what I’m waffling on about, see ‘Cch ch changes ‘ in Limbo and a certain thread in Purg.
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Comments

  • MiffyMiffy Shipmate
    Oh, and just to reassure you, this discussion is a Eurovision and Greenbelt-free zone. :)
  • BoogieBoogie Shipmate
    Come back @Martin54, all is forgiven!

    Have you been at the GIN again @Miffy? 🤔
  • MiffyMiffy Shipmate
    Boogie wrote: »
    Come back @Martin54, all is forgiven!

    Have you been at the GIN again @Miffy? 🤔

    I blame the post Eucharistic coffee! This is what happens when my imagination is allowed to range unfettered. :)

  • PigwidgeonPigwidgeon Shipmate
    According to my calendar, He hasn't "gone up" yet -- next Thursday is Ascension Day. And there's not just one week to go -- Pentecost is two weeks away. I know there's an eight-hour difference between here and England, but certainly not an eight-day difference?

    Whatever you're drinking, may I please have some?

    :smile:
  • MiffyMiffy Shipmate
    @Pigwidgeon , the Cathedral here celebrated Ascension today! Ok, so we have two weeks, then, in which to heed the exhortations of the blessed ABC to make our very own wave of prayer. What could be more fitting for this grand old vessel? It’s edgy, it’s hip, it’s cutting edge, it gives us carte blanche to use billions of scented tea lights (oh for the good old days of Small Fire on the old ship).

    Plus we can get up to all kinds of goings-ons with ice and steam. I thought we might try and re-enact Elijah’s ascent in a fiery carrot. What think ye?
  • Is Outrage!

    Whatever your Cathedral's on, it's probably illegal.....

    Ascension Day is indeed this coming Thursday, with Pentecost to follow on June 9th (the intervening period being devoted to bothering God with the 'Thy Kingdom Come' prayer thingy, at least in Ukland and Surrounding Dependencies).

    Please to reveal the name of your medication (or alcohol).
    :confused:
  • MiffyMiffy Shipmate
    Is Outrage!

    Whatever your Cathedral's on, it's probably illegal.....

    Ascension Day is indeed this coming Thursday, with Pentecost to follow on June 9th (the intervening period being devoted to bothering God with the 'Thy Kingdom Come' prayer thingy, at least in Ukland and Surrounding Dependencies).

    Please to reveal the name of your medication (or alcohol).
    :confused:

    Standard Cof E weak Fairtrade bilge, I mean - coffee. The only alcohol to pass my lips today was during the Eucharist. Maybe there was something dodgy in the Cathedral salad dressing.

    No- I’m not drunk, unless with the Spirit. But yes! Let’s have our very own Ship TKC prayer thingy! Let’s bother God, (or at the least the admins) in true Ship fashion. Let’s build our own wall or wave or whatever it is the ABC is asking and let the winds blow through the SOF bulwarks as in the days of yore. :)

    Who’s first in the queue for the Farrow and Ball?


  • MiffyMiffy Shipmate
    Off to charge the phone , but when I get back I expect to see some action around here. A mission statement at the very least - with three points all beginning with the same letter. :smiley:
  • PigletPiglet All Saints Host, Circus Host
    Miffy wrote: »
    ... the Cathedral here celebrated Ascension today! Ok, so we have two weeks, then, in which to heed the exhortations of the blessed ABC ...
    My Better Half is fond of saying that he wishes Ascensiontide would last for about six weeks, as there's been so much glorious music written for it, and two services can't possibly do it all justice.

    Ah - if only we had the forces in our choir to sing Gibbons' O clap your hands ... **sigh**

    There are Things Being Done here for Thy Kingdom Come - the Dean's leading a Prayer Walk from the Cathedral through the downtown area on Wednesday, we have a service on Thursday evening and I think there are possibly other things going on as well.

  • MiffyMiffy Shipmate
    Piglet- envy not! I’m only visiting the Cathedral; though I will say our parish church does have a good choir.

    That said, are you volunteering to take the Ship’s choir through their paces? The sky’s the limit (appropriately enough).
  • ThunderBunkThunderBunk Shipmate
    (volunteers for the bass line)
  • FirenzeFirenze Purgatory Host, Host Emeritus
    I was thinking of waiting til August and the ever-memorable Maria Himmelfahrt*

    Meanwhile, as a Lord Mayor of Belfast was once reputed to have remarked Sure the whole place just needs a coat of Durex.


    *(Lit: Mary HeavenJourney - but it sounds better in German).
  • As usual, Adrian Plass seems to have the best advice: "I see smoke here". Who's going to hire the dry ice machine?
  • MiffyMiffy Shipmate
    Eutychus wrote: »
    As usual, Adrian Plass seems to have the best advice: "I see smoke here". Who's going to hire the dry ice machine?

    We hired one last year. Poor Mrs Higginbotham still hasn’t recovered from the shock. :(

    So, music-
    wise we’ve Piglet, Thunderbunk and Firenze so far, (with or without Maria Himmelfahrt). I’m surprised that Chorister’s not put in an appearance.

  • BoogieBoogie Shipmate
    I’ll provide the huge flags/banners to wave. :mrgreen:
  • DooneDoone Shipmate
    Could I do lots of sparkly bunting 😀?
  • MiffyMiffy Shipmate
    @Boogie and @Doone , yes, but please observe the proper procedure before commencing work. Any material used must first be approved by the Fabric Committee, and Doone, I should keep quiet about the glitter when you submit your proposal. Poor Mrs Green has never quite got over the Great Sunday School Glitter Disaster during the 1950 production of The Nutcracker. :( She was stripped of her churchwardenship and the cleaners were hoovering bits out of the sanctuary carpet for weeks.
  • That wasn't glitter. It was Gold Dust. Where is your faith?
  • MiffyMiffy Shipmate
    Eutychus wrote: »
    That wasn't glitter. It was Gold Dust. Where is your faith?

    Grins showing a perfect set of gnashers.

    You try telling that to the PCC!

  • jedijudyjedijudy Heaven Host
    Miss, Miss! I have a very important question!! Is there going to be food?

  • MiffyMiffy Shipmate
    But of course! Each country herein represented is invited to Bring ‘n Share the very best their church has to offer to make up a fantastically Pentecostal feast which cannot but fail to waft poor unwary visitors away on a gust of spirit led ecstasy.

    I’ll start the menu.

    UK churches - Quiche
  • BroJamesBroJames Purgatory Host
    Also Coronation Chicken
  • MiffyMiffy Shipmate
    BroJames wrote: »
    Also Coronation Chicken

    Absolutely! Mrs Green has some left over from the Great Glitter Disaster 1950 interval refreshments. Waste not, want not.

  • BroJamesBroJames Purgatory Host
    That’ll be the last item from her gas freezer, and her children will make her switch to electric now.
  • MiffyMiffy Shipmate
    BroJames wrote: »
    That’ll be the last item from her gas freezer, and her children will make her switch to electric now.

    You forgot the frozen haggis, circa 1945.

  • FirenzeFirenze Purgatory Host, Host Emeritus
    OK I was saving them, but I’ll chip in the sauerkraut, bratties and kartoffelsalat.
  • MiffyMiffy Shipmate
    Firenze wrote: »
    OK I was saving them, but I’ll chip in the sauerkraut, bratties and kartoffelsalat.

    All good wind producing dishes.

  • PigletPiglet All Saints Host, Circus Host
    On such occasions I usually offer either French bread or potato salad - which would you like?

    I'll also offer an alto voice to the choir (descants optional) - as D. says, "descants to be sung by all the sopranos and anyone else who can get up there".

    Presumably, as this is Heaven, where everything is perfect, we actually have a full complement of singers and those who haven't sung the Gibbons before will be able to sight-read. It'll be worth the effort, I promise.
  • RossweisseRossweisse Shipmate
    Miffy wrote: »
    So, music-
    wise we’ve Piglet, Thunderbunk and Firenze so far, (with or without Maria Himmelfahrt). I’m surprised that Chorister’s not put in an appearance.
    I can handle anything between Alto II (or possibly Tenor I) through Soprano II.


  • BroJamesBroJames Purgatory Host
    I can offer Alto II (i.e. if it’s not too high) down to Bass II provided it doesn’t drop below a bottom E♭
  • FirenzeFirenze Purgatory Host, Host Emeritus
    Give me any note and I can flatten it...
  • MiffyMiffy Shipmate
    @Piglet, I’m eternally grateful for your dogged dedication in the face of such ahem...mixed musical talent. But if Gareth Malone can bring out the best in folk, I know you can. I can only apologise for a certain choir member who thought you were proposing to re-enact this little number. https://youtu.be/iAmx_XdQky8. We great artistes are forever doomed to be misunderstood. :(
  • MiffyMiffy Shipmate
    @Firenze, @Rossweisse , @BroJames , we’re relying on you to oversee the painting team. On second thoughts, letting the Altar Guild AND the flower ladies loose on the prayer wall wasn’t one of my best decisions. It’s a sure recipe for war. Give them a quick look, could you? Thanks ever so.

    Miffy (who’s hoping to find inspiration by a visit to the Bishop’s Palace).

    I’ll Be Back...;)
  • DooneDoone Shipmate
    Okay, I’ll leave the glitter off the bunting if I can bring some flagons of my very special homemade rhubarb wine 🥴.
  • FirenzeFirenze Purgatory Host, Host Emeritus
    edited May 27
    Well, I’ve had them run round the churchyard six times and that seems - you did say panting team, didn’t you?
  • MiffyMiffy Shipmate
    Why not, Doone! They can be our secret weapon; to be brought out in the event that punt...I mean disciples exhibit signs of not being sufficiently spirit-filled. :wink:

    Plus it’ll come in handy for cleaning paint brushes and unblocking the drain . (Bro James’ coronation chicken is a tad rich).
  • MiffyMiffy Shipmate
    Firenze wrote: »
    Well, I’ve had them run round the churchyard six times and that seems - you did say panting team, didn’t you?

    Gaaghh! Wretched auto fill! Painting, dear, painting! :neutral:

    Never mind. I’ve come up with an even better idea. Inspired by the papier-mâché mouldings in the Long Gallery at the Bishop’s Palace, I thought why not? Let’s go for it! With (or without) Captain Simon’s permission, let’s build a life size model of the Ship. That should be good for a dozen heavenly Brownie points from the ABC at the very least.

    Well , Bp Justin did invite us to create a wave of prayer. Plus we have our own resident @Ancient Mariner !

    (Wanders off mumbling “It was the Ancient Mariner, and he stoppeth one of three.”)

  • MiffyMiffy Shipmate
    Firenze wrote: »
    Well, I’ve had them run round the churchyard six times and that seems - you did say panting team, didn’t you?[/quote

    Err...@Firenze, @Doone, the sexton has just given in his notice
    after being assaulted by the combined Altar Guild/Flower Arranger ‘Panting ‘ team, when he dared complain about them decorating the Lych gate Jackson Pollock style.

    Three independent witnesses confirm that flagons of rhubarb wine were in evidence.

    It doesn’t look good. :(
  • DooneDoone Shipmate
    😬 can we plead ignorance or special dispensation? We could offer the local Morris Dancing team to come and redecorate the lych gate with flowers, streamers and bells!
  • MiffyMiffy Shipmate
    Hmmm. :(

    It’ll have to do, I suppose.

    I guess nobody will notice the difference. If we bribe the Morris Dancers with rhubarb wine, we might even persuade them to stay on and do some dancing in the spirit. :)

    Better still- start a Ship team!
  • MiffyMiffy Shipmate
    Oh- and I’m most disappointed at the total lack of response to my proposals for a papier-mâché Ship building project.

    What’s good enough for the Bishop of Bath and Wells is good enough for us, I would have thought. :angry:
  • DooneDoone Shipmate
    I’m just a bit worried about the potential rain damage (thinking about the ark problem in the USA) 😬! Would Bish Peter let us keep it in his palace when it rains? Mind you, he’d need to waive the entry charges for those that sail in her! Or we could erect an enormous marquee for it - even more decorating possibilities then 🎉🎊🎏!
  • FirenzeFirenze Purgatory Host, Host Emeritus
    Bulrushes. We need lots of bulrushes. Watertight. Somewhere to put small children (always useful). Attract royalty.

    Who do we know with a marsh or two?
  • Miffy wrote: »
    @Firenze , altar guild supremo (or was it NEQ?) did we or did we not promise months ago that we were going to jazz up the heavenly vestry to mark a certain Pentecost wave of prayer?

    Please, miss, it wisnae me!

  • MiffyMiffy Shipmate
    Doone wrote: »
    I’m just a bit worried about the potential rain damage (thinking about the ark problem in the USA) 😬! Would Bish Peter let us keep it in his palace when it rains? Mind you, he’d need to waive the entry charges for those that sail in her! Or we could erect an enormous marquee for it - even more decorating possibilities then 🎉🎊🎏!

    Given the current rain in Wells, that’s a brilliant idea! I’m sure Bish Peter wouldn’t mind if we split the eight quid entry charge between the Diocese and the Ship.

  • MiffyMiffy Shipmate
    Firenze wrote: »
    Bulrushes. We need lots of bulrushes. Watertight. Somewhere to put small children (always useful). Attract royalty.

    Who do we know with a marsh or two?


    Umm- who DO we know with a marsh or two? (scratches head).
  • MiffyMiffy Shipmate
    Miffy wrote: »
    @Firenze , altar guild supremo (or was it NEQ?) did we or did we not promise months ago that we were going to jazz up the heavenly vestry to mark a certain Pentecost wave of prayer?

    Please, miss, it wisnae me!

    Yeah, sorry! Senior moment there. But since you’re here, Piglet could do with some instrumentalists if you’ve any spare bagpipers kicking around.

  • As opposed to baggy knickers piping around.

    Surely the people to ask for marshes are marshals?
  • MiffyMiffy Shipmate
    Well! This hasn’t gone quite to plan, has it? Instead of a prayer wall we have a giant papier-mâché Ship, housed in Bish P’s Palace. On board entertainment will consist of :


    Elijah in his fiery carrot
    - Moses in the Bulrushes

    To the accompaniment of bagpipers, the Ship’s Morris Dancing Team (if we can blackmail I mean bribe anyone to take part. Plus a group of reprobates performing Gibbon’s masterpiece. @Chorister - where have you got to? We need you!


  • PigletPiglet All Saints Host, Circus Host
    Miffy wrote: »
    ... I can only apologise for a certain choir member who thought you were proposing to re-enact this little number. https://youtu.be/iAmx_XdQky8. ...
    I knew what that was going to be even before I clicked the link ... :mrgreen:
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