Chasing the black dog

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  • So, the black dog has crept in, along with its mangy cousin Anxiety. Not helping with a particular work thing...
  • DooneDoone Shipmate
    Prayers and hugs, @Bene Gesserit 🕯
  • MaryLouiseMaryLouise Purgatory Host, 8th Day Host
    ((BG))
  • Thank you both. I hate this!
  • Hugs to you BG.
    I have SAD, not helped by currently having a broken toe so I can’t go out on my usual walks. But it is not as bad this year and I’m wondering if the mild weather is helping, or whether it is just that I’m more busy than before.
  • I think that Black Dog is hoping to take up residence here (or it might be a reaction to quite a stressful time). And the aforementioned Black Dog and just trot off, please.
    Major surgery to remove gallbladder in mid-Oct, followed by 10 funerals (OK, it's part of my job, but 5 of them were for people I actually know), and Christmas etc, and the lack of daylight in the northern hemisphere and the overhanging gloom cast by B*****T...and the fact that 10 tonnes of waste were dumped on my church car park, and as the Vicar it fell to me to deal with it...
    I couldn't do anything yesterday and I mean nothing. It was all I could do to get up and dressed by midday. So today I have all of yesterday's tasks to do as well as todays, and all I want to do is sit in a chair and stare at the wall.
  • PigletPiglet All Saints Host, Circus Host
    {{{St. E}}}
  • Yes indeed {{{St. E}}}.
  • DooneDoone Shipmate
  • Hugs to you BG.
    I have SAD, not helped by currently having a broken toe so I can’t go out on my usual walks. But it is not as bad this year and I’m wondering if the mild weather is helping, or whether it is just that I’m more busy than before.

    Thank you - and Ouch! And I'm glad your SAD isn't as bad this year - here's hoping that the increasing light will start to help!
  • Sending hugs and prayers to @St Everild and all afflicted with the BD and it's cousin A.
  • PDRPDR Shipmate
    The thing I dislike about my own personal black dog are those occasions when I think it has cleared off for a while, and then sneaks around my back and pisses on my leg. I finally pulled out of December depression just in time for Christmas, got through the next three weeks just fine, then disappeared back down the black hole to Inertia Central. Urgh!
  • PDRPDR Shipmate
    Should have added - coming out of it again, but it is taking an exhausting amount of self-discipline.
  • {{PDR}} and {{St E}}

    I know of a number of Holy Clergy who are off on a retreat at Walsingham this week, and I daresay that some of them will also be afflicted by Black Dogs, Slugs, or other Fauna.

    {{all trying to Get Away From It All round about now}}
  • PigletPiglet All Saints Host, Circus Host
    At least those of you whose Black Beasties are exaggerated by seasonal affective disorder can take comfort in the fact that winter is now more than half over*.

    * Officially at least - I suspect that where I live it's only just getting going ... :flushed:
  • Love to PDR, and StE. That sounds like a huge amount to have going on all at once, StE.
  • PDRPDR Shipmate
    @St Everild - that's definitely an overload of 'shit I don't need to deal with.' (TM)
  • Schroedingers CatSchroedingers Cat Shipmate, Waving not Drowning Host
    Piglet wrote: »
    At least those of you whose Black Beasties are exaggerated by seasonal affective disorder can take comfort in the fact that winter is now more than half over*.

    * Officially at least - I suspect that where I live it's only just getting going ... :flushed:

    I managed to get home from work today when there was still a hint of light in the sky. In the morning, I didn;t need my light on. Both of which feel better.
  • Daylight really is a great thing.

    It was this time last year I was really, really ill, and kept going and going until it was half term and I could get to the GP. I’ve sung the praises of my GP here before, and I know I’m one of the lucky ones in that regard. I thought she was going to get me admitted on the spot.

    I’m so much better now, though not completely well, and looking back on old FB memories when I was cheerily posting about daisies my little boy had brought me whilst still struggling so hard with non stop intrusive thoughts that I just wanted to go away is rather weird.
  • {{{{{{{{all of us, especially SC and J9}}}}}}}}
  • Struggling with it at the mo - with trying to navigate through the whole "where the hell do I go when I'm housebound and been made redundant after everything I did was offshored - and all my skills are out of date"...

    Thoughts?
  • {{{{{{{Alex}}}}}}}

    I wonder if there's away to arrange for some supportive phone calls? Maybe from an Asperger's organization, or a counselor/therapist? And maybe they could put you in touch with someone who could help re employment?

    Or maybe that Samaritans organization?

    FWIW, YMMV. Trying to suggest without knowing what resources there are there, so focusing on the depression aspect.
  • HuiaHuia Shipmate
    Jemima, that is such good news.

    I am very aware of the days getting shorter here, but I don't have the sense of impending doom I have had sometimes in the past. I am trying to continue getting up early as we have had temperatures over 30C (86f) and I try to get things done before the day heats up.

  • Golden Key wrote: »
    {{{{{{{Alex}}}}}}}

    I wonder if there's away to arrange for some supportive phone calls? Maybe from an Asperger's organization, or a counselor/therapist? And maybe they could put you in touch with someone who could help re employment?

    Or maybe that Samaritans organization?

    FWIW, YMMV. Trying to suggest without knowing what resources there are there, so focusing on the depression aspect.

    I can talk to the Samaritans for free - all the Asperger stuff is payable...
  • Jemima the 9thJemima the 9th Shipmate
    edited February 20
    Best wishes and prayers, Alex Cockell.
    I wish I could think of practical suggestions, but those aren’t my strong suit. I hope you’re getting any / all benefits you’re entitled to, for a start.
  • PigletPiglet All Saints Host, Circus Host
    @Alex Cockell - have you sought advice from your GP?
  • Yes, do that, @Alex Cockell .

    My own Black Slug seems to have crawled onto the Ark unbeknownst. I feel washed out all the time (some of that is due to medication, I know), but Sleep has gone bananas, and Sudden Eye Leakage is occurring.

    Not only that, but I've caught myself thinking (or praying?) 'Please let me go to sleep, and not wake up again'.

    I recognise the signs...
  • So sorry to hear that, BF. Hie thee to the GP thyself, please.
    Praying for you, for more rest, and better days very soon. And for all those who suffer from this blasted thing.
  • I think for all those who suffer from the black dog, the weather can be a contributory factor, and here in the British Isles it has been nothing but bleak for quite a while, with storm and rain, and at least where I am, much nasty wet (not fluffy light)snow. Even for those of us who don’t suffer black dogs too much, it can get you down. Be gentle with yourselves, people.
  • DooneDoone Shipmate
    🕯 look after yourself @Bishops Finger and all fellow suffers 🙏
  • PigletPiglet All Saints Host, Circus Host
    {{{{{BF}}}}}

    I can sympathise re the weather, and I've only been back for a few days!

    Think of the positives: you don't have to shovel rain. :wink:
  • ClimacusClimacus Shipmate
    edited February 22
    {{BF}}

    {{Alex}} -- I am crap at advice (giving or taking!), sorry, but I hope we here can provide some comfort you're not alone, however small. And I hope you are able to find a solution.

    Great news, Jemima.
  • Schroedingers CatSchroedingers Cat Shipmate, Waving not Drowning Host
    I would like to say that if you are struggling or your state changed, go to see your GP. Or A&E, or other medical assistance you have.

    While we will all offer support and stuff, we cannot offer medical advice or help, and that is important to get.

    Make Sure You Get Medical Help.
  • PigletPiglet All Saints Host, Circus Host
    Wise advice indeed, SC.
  • Thanks, all.
    :smile:

    The sun is shining today (temporarily) so the Black Slug has slithered away somewhat. However, the toilet on the Ark, which is pumped out by a macerator, Does Not Work. I spare you the hideous details...
    :grimace:

    I now await a call from my friendly (but rather expensive) engineer, who hopefully will be able to fix it soon.

    I observe, meanwhile, how just Having Something To Do concentrates the mind, and makes one more active, rather than simply slumping about on chairs...
  • In a phrase I thought I would never say, I remember your macerator in my prayers, BF. :smiley:

    Good to hear that the Black Slug has slithered away a bit.
  • Thank you, on behalf of my SanifloPlus...the mendologist will hopefully come to the rescue on Monday, or Tuesday. Meanwhile, the portable camping loo has been mobilised...
    :grimace:
  • I'm really struggling with my emotions. I can't control my anger and agitation. I had to take my shift off tonight because I don't trust myself not to start yelling at my co-worker or worse, my poor clients. Off to the doc tomorrow, got counselling booked in a week, and I think I'm ringing my long time psych tomorrow too. Little tiny very very very negative thoughts creeping in.
  • DooneDoone Shipmate
    Oh, @Simon Toad that sounds awful, really glad you’re getting help.
  • Prayers for you Simon Toad
    I appear to be in a depressive phase, which has managed to overlap with mania and is making me very anxious. I have decided to reduce stimuli, especially the internet, so just popping into the ship and work websites now. Everything not helped by my walking ability not quite there yet (re: broken toe) but I’ve managed to walk around the block today and get some time in the sun.
  • DooneDoone Shipmate
    Praying for you, @Heavenlyannie 🕯
  • PigletPiglet All Saints Host, Circus Host
    Indeed, and for Simon Toad.
  • nothing drags me down like pain, Heavenly Annie. But I wrote that last night and a scary thought popped into my head. I had 10 minutes after waking up when I thought I might have been normal, but no. Firing on cylinders I don't even have.
  • Been to my GP. Prescribed diazepam. Haven't taken it before. Feeling a bit better. Hopefully, I will see you all on the other side of a good sleep.
  • {{{{{{{All of us}}}}}}}
  • DooneDoone Shipmate
    Indeed 🕯!
  • Praying for Simon Toad, and for Heavenlyannie.
    You’ve both been so kind and generous to me when I’ve been struggling, and I have appreciated that so much.
  • Simon ToadSimon Toad Shipmate
    Thanks everyone. The intervention is helping me and I am sleeping. I haven't been able to speak to my Psych as we have been missing each other on the phone. I will probably take Wednesday off as I do a sleepover, and I'm concerned that the Diazepam will make me unable to respond if anyone needs help in the night. I plan to go back to work Saturday if all goes well.

    I draw strength from my clients. They are wonderful people. One is a great friend, in the way that you have friendships with people you work with. Another, who is frozen, communicates with looks, sounds, and infectious laughter has a real gift for making everyone around him smile.
  • Glad to hear you're feeling better @Simon Toad .

    Here, a sunny afternoon is lifting the Episcopal spirits somewhat - I think the almost incessant wind and rain of the past few days really took its toll. Today, I am feeling rather more like a functioning Humming Bean (possibly on 3 cylinders, rather than 4, but hey...).
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