Rossweisse RIP Rossweisse, HellHost and long-time Shipmate.

Robert Armin RIP Robert Armin, Shipmate of long-standing.

Chasing the black dog

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  • ClimacusClimacus Shipmate
    I know the sensation; so odd finding a favourite book, piece of music or podcast does nought for you, and even frustrates you.
  • Love and prayers to all who post here.
    It sounds as though things are improving for you, ST. Hoorah for that. :smile:

    My anxiety levels are, like arethosemyfeet’s, somewhere on the roof and looking to take to the skies. It’s more general anxiety than OCD, though I had a colossal OCD meltdown last week which pretty much wiped me out for 3 days. I got better just in time for kid A to be anxious and sad about a whole host of things (which we are looking to get help for her for, so that’s in progress, which is good). I’ve lost my appetite overnight, and for the first time have regularly occurring physical anxiety symptoms - my throat feels tight, my hands are tingling, I feel like my legs are going to give way, that sort of thing.

    I’ve managed to get a phone appt with my wonderful GP tomorrow. I think I know what I need to do, which is to self-refer for some CBT - if they can offer it to someone with anxiety plus a side order of OCD, that is.

    I am just so fed up with it all.
  • PigletPiglet All Saints Host, Circus Host
    {{{Jt9}}}

    Hope you can find relief in one way or another very soon.
  • ClimacusClimacus Shipmate
    Sorry to read, Jemima the 9th. I hope you can get the help you need.
  • That's the thing! It's bloody exhausting having to think about and manage this stuff. I've decided to take 2 weeks leave because I have very very mild hayfever and I keep having to cancel shifts. I'm tired of checking myself for covid symptoms and figure peak hayfever will be over by November, at least for mild me.

    It is brilliant that you see your symptoms and know how to deal with them. That is like 90% of it for me. My counselling this time around is about taking that awareness to the next level.

    I have found an online Catholic Mass from Ireland. I find the lilt of the Priest as he goes through the liturgy solo very relaxing. I only caught the end of the service yesterday, and I hope its the same Priest. I miss my monthly mass in town. I shall be praying for you and your daughter J9.
  • ClimacusClimacus Shipmate
    Hope the time off helps, Simon Toad. And nice to hear you found a lovely Mass to listen to / watch.
  • Penny SPenny S Shipmate
    It's suddenly struck me that at any time, whether one can get it online or not, someone, somewhere in the world, is celebrating Mass, or the Eucharist, or whatever form of worship is in their tradition.
    As in the evening hymn, which I have sung (last at my father's funeral) and meant, but never before felt.
  • Penny S wrote: »
    It's suddenly struck me that at any time, whether one can get it online or not, someone, somewhere in the world, is celebrating Mass, or the Eucharist, or whatever form of worship is in their tradition.
    As in the evening hymn, which I have sung (last at my father's funeral) and meant, but never before felt.

    It’s a lovely thing. There is something about that ongoing process of prayer and celebration of Eucharist (I’m very low church by tradition but even I get that) which I feel holds us even when we can’t participate.

    Thanks everybody for your kindness and prayers. There is good news. A counselling slot is available for Child A. My awesome GP rang earlier, I had a bit of a cry at her and told her all about it. We have a plan. Drugs which may also help as a migraine preventative, since they’re becoming frequent and difficult too. I’m also going to self refer for CBT and see what they can do.

    Now to persuade myself to eat lunch. I really miss my appetite. My GP and I were discussing that last time I was this anxious I lived off Haribo for 3 months, she does not feel this is a good approach. I suspect my dentist would agree with her.
  • FirenzeFirenze Shipmate, Host Emeritus
    The world is too much for me. That and private fears.

    There is no drug, no therapy, can cure reality.
  • (((Firenze)))

    Now in her green mantle blythe Nature arrays,
    And listens the lambkins that bleat o'er her braes;
    While birds warble welcomes in ilka green shaw,
    But to me it's delightless-my Nanie's awa.

    The snawdrap and primrose our woodlands adorn,
    And violetes bathe in the weet o' the morn;
    They pain my sad bosom, sae sweetly they blaw,
    They mind me o' Nanie- and Nanie's awa.

    Thou lav'rock that springs frae the dews of the lawn,
    The shepherd to warn o' the grey-breaking dawn,
    And thou mellow mavis that hails the night-fa',
    Give over for pity-my Nanie's awa.

    Come Autumn, sae pensive, in yellow and grey,
    And soothe me wi' tidings o' Nature's decay:
    The dark, dreary Winter, and wild-driving snaw
    Alane can delight me-now Nanie's awa.
  • ClimacusClimacus Shipmate
    {{ Firenze }}
  • {{Firenze}} indeed.

    Can you experts in the field pray for my daughter who has been trying to help a flatmate with suicidal thoughts. The girl, C, is from a privileged Indian background, comes across as very self-centred to her friends, and has never registered with a doctor in the UK. She is far from home, not coping with her studies, and finding life not to be worth living; and in the way that 20 year olds do, is much taken up with social media. Daughter phoned me last night for advice, and I told her that by letting the girl know that she and others noticed and were concerned about her she was not doing the wrong thing (is there a right thing?). And I reminded her that in the last resort there is A&E as an access to the health service.
  • {{{{{{{all of us--and all with similar afflictions, whether they know it or not}}}}}}}

    Everyone, please find a way to hang on, ok? You matter.

    And I'm situated between weird world, overwhelm, and hot weather. Not fun.
  • DooneDoone Shipmate
    @Firenze 🕯
    @Cathscats - prayers for your daughter and her flat mate 🕯. Just a thought, the uni should provide access to counselling, etc.
  • hanks @Doone, they do, but there is a long waiting list. Young people have not been finding recent life easy to cope with, not having the life experience to say that this too shall pass - or that's my take on it, anyway. Of course for some of them it is much more than that.
  • PigletPiglet All Saints Host, Circus Host
    Also, if she's come from overseas (outside the EU) to study, she (or her family) will be making one hell of a financial investment in her education, which she may be afraid of blowing.

    Prayers ascending that she'll be OK.
  • Lots of love to you, Firenze.

    Cathscats, your daughter and friends might want to get in touch with Papyrus https://www.papyrus-uk.org/ I haven’t used the service myself, but it’s very much advertised in the place I work and I have heard their spokespeople say sensible things.
  • (((Firenze)))
  • CaissaCaissa Shipmate
    It's often best to ask about the level of suicidal ideation? Does the individual have a plan? Does the individual have access to the means? Have they chosen a time? These are a tiered set of questions. Obviously, if the ideation is low, then the risk is likely low. If the ideation is high, they have access to the means and have chosen a time then the risk is extremely high., and the individual needs to receive appropriate professional care.
  • HeavenlyannieHeavenlyannie Shipmate
    edited October 16
    She might want to look at Student Minds for advice https://www.studentminds.org.uk/ they also have a support line
  • Thanks for these links @Heavenlyannie. I will forward them to my daughter. The girl does have a plan of sorts. I think it unlikely she would follow through with it, but I know that I could be wrong about this, and, contrary to what was once thought, those who talk are not always those who do not do.
  • CameronCameron Shipmate
    That is a worrying situation, @Cathscats

    Helpful information from the Samaritans here:

    What to do if you are worried about someone

    If that seems too much, there also is a good 20 minute (or so) online training on how to talk with someone you are worried about available from -

    Zero Suicide Alliance

    - the scenarios are particularly instructive.

    Lastly... having made a plan of how to do it can be a risk factor. If your daughter’s friend mentions this to the Uni’s student services, or your daughter does so on her behalf, this ought to bring about priority access to support.

    It is good to know there are thoughtful and caring souls like your daughter on hand, @Cathscats.
  • Also: if this is the girl's first time away from home, on her own, it could be that a lot of stuff has hit the fan. Often happens.
  • ClimacusClimacus Shipmate
    {{ GK }}

    {{ C, Cathcats and Cathcats' daughter }}


    Thanks be to God, with the help of a sedative, I am now sleeping better. I hope it gets me back in the swing of a good night's rest. It truly is amazing what a difference to one's mood a good sleep has. I still struggle, but I have some mental willpower at least.
  • Sleep is vital!!! I'm glad to hear you are getting more of it Climacus.
  • HuiaHuia Shipmate
    Sleep that knits the ravelled sleeve of care.

    I agree -absolutely essential. I won't have my furry bed mate tonight as she's in the cattery :cry: Purring is such a soothing sound.
  • cgichardcgichard Shipmate
    Lie still: this is the night.
    Day follows soon.
    This is old nurses' counsel and the gods'.
    For if thou rest not
    busy maggots eat thy brain
    and all is dedicate to chaos.
  • FirenzeFirenze Shipmate, Host Emeritus
    Oppressed by industrial levels of anxiety for the past few days - over things about which I can do nothing, or which may not come to pass.

    Decided lack of occupation part of the problem, so dragged out the Bernina and did some tricky sewing.

    I miss the garden (weather: chaps painting the access stair).
  • *cyber hugs to all*

    I've had a pretty good week, but returning to work is now looming on the horizon so I'm edgier than Edward Scissorhands right now.
  • ClimacusClimacus Shipmate
    {{ for all at this troublesome time }}
  • PigletPiglet All Saints Host, Circus Host
    Sending cyberhugs too.
  • Schroedingers CatSchroedingers Cat Shipmate, Waving not Drowning Host
    Just a note that the Waving Board is moving. Anyone who would like to join us in our new location, please message me.

    While we are not all leaving the ship, there might be less presence of the members around here.
  • Ok, it all got too much and I'm taking more time off now.
  • ClimacusClimacus Shipmate
    {{ Arethosemyfeet }}

    I hope the additional time off is a good help to you and your health.
  • DooneDoone Shipmate
    Look after yourself @Arethosemyfeet 🕯
  • All the best for your R&R Arethosemyfeet.
  • PigletPiglet All Saints Host, Circus Host
    I hope you'll be well refreshed after your R&R, Arethosemyfeet.
  • {{{{{{{All of us}}}}}}}

    Having a little bit of a bumpy time: emotions all over the place; usual holiday lonelies; state of the world; blah blah blah.
  • (((GK))) I'm sorry to hear that. The messy emotions sound so familiar. Do you have things you do to try and turn your mood around? Sometimes, I listen to comedy, sometimes a song will help.
  • (((Golden Key))) this time of year can be tough at the best of times, for all sorts of reasons, without the pandemic hanging over us.
    I go for at least one walk a day (I have bipolar disorder and SAD) as that is both mentally and physically beneficial - I find being in an open space changes my perspective in life and helps provide a balance and it’s something I recommend to my anxious students. I recommend going outside if you are able and safe to do so.
    I also start my working days by praying/meditating as I get anxiety. Short achievable goals throughout the day so as not become overwhelmed, and a good balance of work, rest and play. The next few weeks might be a challenge on this as I am busy at work and have studies of my own to submit.
  • DooneDoone Shipmate
    Paying for you, @Golden Key 🕯. Yes, my SAD usually kicks in properly in January/ February, but I’m aware of it creeping in already this year. Take care of yourselves everyone!
  • HeavenlyannieHeavenlyannie Shipmate
    edited November 26
    yes, my SAD is a January feature, when the bulbs start appearing in Feb I start improving and then in March my hypomania kicks in! (Mad March, as in Alice's hare, is an actual psychiatric phenomenon - I am always manic in March).
  • PigletPiglet All Saints Host, Circus Host
    I might have thought that SAD would get better in January and February*, as the days are getting longer, but maybe there's more to it than that - the general malaise of January blues?

    * Being from Northerly Parts I think contributes to my not really suffering from SAD - I'm resigned to the idea that the light we lose in winter is at least made up for in summer.
  • DooneDoone Shipmate
    Piglet wrote: »
    I might have thought that SAD would get better in January and February*, as the days are getting longer, but maybe there's more to it than that - the general malaise of January blues?

    * Being from Northerly Parts I think contributes to my not really suffering from SAD - I'm resigned to the idea that the light we lose in winter is at least made up for in summer.

    Mm, I asked my doctor about that when first diagnosed some years ago. She said that it’s because of the gradual diminishing and cumulative effect of lack of light in the months before, that hits rock bottom in about January and then takes time to build up again - makes sense, I think. What I do find odd is that, if I’m not careful, my mood can suddenly deteriorate, as if I just walked off a cliff edge, very frightening when it occasionally happens that way.
  • HuiaHuia Shipmate
    Thinking of you Golden Key - holidays can be particularly difficult.
  • NenyaNenya Shipmate
    Piglet wrote: »
    I might have thought that SAD would get better in January and February*, as the days are getting longer, but maybe there's more to it than that - the general malaise of January blues?

    On a slight tangent, my Dear Old Mum (may she RIPARIG) always maintained there was an Autumnal Nip in the air after the longest day in June and from time to time seemed to get rather down about that. Unfortunately it never seemed to happen that after 21/22 December Spring was On The Way.

    This is a hard time for so many reasons - November is my worst month of the whole year.
  • I don't think SAD was commonly recognised when I was first affected as a teenager but the symptoms were familiar as my dad certainly suffered as well - in spite of being a farmer who was outside all hours of daylight as a rule. In retrospect my mum helped me cope in a very understated way - she insisted that Spring started on New Years Day and from then on we spent time searching for signs of new growth. I still do it. Yesterday I came home from a walk with a bunch of hazel catkins! I think everything Covid-related may be making this an unusually bad year.
  • HuiaHuia Shipmate
    Diomedes what a brilliant and loving response from your mother, giving you a strategy you could continue to use life long.

    I'm having a difficult time - not SAD, as summer has arrived - just ffeling a bit overwhelmed by Life, the Universe and Everything, a dentist appointment today just adds icing on the cake. I'm going for a walk along the river to se how many papango - (black scaups- the little diving ducks) I can see.
  • DooneDoone Shipmate
    Take care, @Huia 🕯
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