(Abbreviated) Celebrity Death Pool 2018: In Heaven, There Is No Beer

AristonAriston Shipmate
edited March 2018 in The Circus
Welcome, welcome, to this (shorter) year's Deathpool! No, not the postmodernist superantihero; Death Pool.

Rules, for those who have played, and actually remember the rules, are pretty much the same as they were last year. And the year before that. Down to the awful jokes I made a couple revisions ago.

Rules, for those who haven't played before, played somewhere else under different rules, or haven't actually looked at the rules in over 15 months because there really hasn't been any reason to, are as follows:

1. You must pick 13 well-known people whom you think will shuffle off this mortal coil in 2018. That is, starting from 00.01 UTC (GMT, really) on 14 March 2018 and ending at 23.59 UTC on 31 December 2018, as determined by the United States Naval Observatory Master Clock.

2. The definition of "well-known" is that their deaths will be reported by at least one major news outlet. Examples outlets include (but are not limited to) The Guardian, CNN, IMDB, VeloNews, The Austin Chronicle, and the Church Times.

3. All selections must be real natural born people. No fictional characters, abstract entities or "corporate persons" will be accepted. No matter what the US tax code or Supreme Court say, corporations aren't people, and people aren't corporations.

4. Points are awarded according to the following formula: 100 minus the celebrity's age at the time of death. For example, if the person you choose dies at the age of 67 you will earn 33 points. Should you pick someone who is 100 years old when they die you will receive no points; should your person be over 100, you will lose points.

5. You earn 50 bonus points if the death occurs in such a way as to clearly prove the existence of God (for example, if some doofus dies from burns after trying to torch a church), or they win an actual, bona-fide, certified Darwin award.

6. You cannot choose anyone under the age of 18. Yes, this caps your points-per-person potential at 82. So it goes.

7. You may choose an inmate scheduled to be executed, but you only earn points if the person dies by some means other than the state-sponsored execution. For example, a shiv in the stomach counts; lethal injection does not.

8. You are disqualified if you contribute in any way to the death of one of your chosen candidates. Exceptions will be made if you are a police officer or member of the armed services and kill someone in the line of duty.

9. The Monty Python "I'm Getting Better!" rule: if your person turns out to not be dead after all, and this revivification is confirmed before this year's contest ends, you lose your points. The presumption is that nobody dies or comes back to life until it's confirmed, though. Once the year's over, though, it's over—I'm not losing my 2017 trophy! Those of you who follow the "dictators, drones, and Hellfire" school should probably take note.

10. All entries must be submitted on this thread no later than 23.59 UTC on 13 March 2018. No entries will be accepted after this time. You may make changes to your list up until this time but only if someone pops their clogs before the beginning of the game or if you've put someone in twice. Surprisingly, this does happen.

Bonus awards:
Inside Track with the Grim Reaper: given for picking the first death of the game this year.
Quantity Not Quality: given for picking the most people who croak before 2019, regardless of their points value.
Sudden Death: given for picking the last death before 2019.
Why Does it Always Happen to Me? given to the person who changes the most 2017 picks who then die in 2018. To qualify for this award, you must have entered lists for both years.

Disclaimer: This is only a game. The Ship, its management and their associated lackeys do not necessarily endorse the death any human being. One should not necessarily view this as a "wish list;" reviewing past years will show that truly evil and nasty dictators seem to have a habit of lingering while those figures we truly respect and admire often don't. Some players who Just Can't Score Points will put those they wish to hear from next year on the list.

The Circus is a place for games, not discussion of the rights or wrongs of those games. If you want to discuss the ethics of this one, there are other places you can do that. While I enjoy reading obits and memories as much as anyone else, longer threads belong in AS.

May the odds be ever in your favor...and not anyone else's.


  • Schroedingers CatSchroedingers Cat Shipmate, Waving not Drowning Host
    I am going to get in quick and post my list for the new year.

    1. Shane McGowan
    2. Pope Emeritus Benedict
    3. HM Queen Elizabeth II
    4. Paul Gascoigne
    5. Terry Jones
    6. Michael Schumacher
    7. Michael Crawford
    8. Mike Oldfield
    9. Prince Philip
    10. Stephen Hawking
    11. Dick Van Dyke
    12. Bernard Cribbins
    13. Robert Mugabe
  • A bit of a Whovian list

    Tom Baker (former Time Lord)
    Peter Davison (Former Time Lord)
    Colin Baker (Former Time Lord)
    Sylvester McCoy (Former Time Lord)
    Paul McGann (Former Time Lord)
    Christopher Eccleston (Former Time Lord)
    David Tennant (Former Time Lord)
    Matt Smith (Former Time Lord)
    Peter Capaldi (Former Time Lord)
    David Bradley (Alternate Time Lord)
    Jodie Whittaker (Time Lord)
    Robert Fripp (Greatest living male guitarist and Crimson King)
    Bonnie Raitt (Greatest living guitarist)
  • 1. David Attenborough
    2. Prince Philip, Duke of Edinburgh
    3. Stephen Fry
    4. Nicholas Parsons
    5. Courtney Love
    6. Sharon Osborne
    7. Geoffrey Palmer
    8. June Brown
    9. Miley Cyrus
    10. Angela Merkel
    11. Brian Wilson
    12. Judy Blume
    13. Vera Lynn
  • Found my list! Despite losing my name tag of Ship's Shortstop, my list is still baseball oriented.

    And, looky! The new ship has an automatic numbering function!
    1. Red Schoendienst (1923)
    2. Tommy Lasorda (1927)
    3. Whitey Herzog (1931)
    4. Henry "Hank" Aaron (1934)
    5. Bill Mazeroski (1936)
    6. Brooks Robinson (1937)
    7. Willie McCovey (1938)
    8. Gaylord Perry (1938)
    9. Steve "Lefty" Carlton (1944)
    10. Rod Carew (1945)
    11. Nolan Ryan (1947)
    12. Mike Schmidt (1949)
    13. Cal Ripken, Jr. (1960)
    And, if any of those should shuffle off their mortal coil before we go "live" (so to speak), then my replacement name will be Tom Seaver (1944).

  • Sticking with some old favourites plus a couple of new entries:

    1 Collins, Phil
    2 Coltrane, Robbie
    3 Douglas, Michael
    4 Fox, Michael J
    5 Hallenga, Kristin
    6 Hawking, Stephen
    7 James, Clive
    8 Jones, Tom.
    9 Minnelli , Liza
    10 Ono, Yoko
    11 Rea, Chris
    12 Robbins, Ted.
    13 Wood, Ronnie.
  • My list from 2016 and 2017 were all successful in seeing out both years, so I'm recycling them. All, that is, apart from one person who had died in 2012. That will teach me not to check things thoroughly before posting.

    John Major (ex PM of UK)
    Tony Blair (ex PM of UK)
    Bob Hawke (ex PM of Oz)
    Geoffrey Palmer (ex PM of NZ)
    Jim Bolger (ex PM of NZ)
    George HW Bush (ex President of USA)
    George W Bush (ex President of USA)
    Benedict XVI (ex Pontiff)
    Teresa May (current PM of UK)
    Neil Diamond (musician)
    Neil Gaiman (author)
    Neil Kinnock (politician)
    Neil Young (musician)
  • DalSegno. I feel the need to clarify that my Geoffrey Palmer is the British actor and not ex-PM of NZ.
  • HM Queen Elizabeth II
    Prince Philip
    Windsor Davies
    Tommy Steele
    Tessa Jowell
    Ken Dodd
    Terry Jones
    June Whitfield
    Nicholas Parsons
    Alice Cooper
    Peter Kay
    Francis Rossi
    Melvyn Hayes
  • JapesJapes Shipmate
    Justin Beiber
    George Carey
    Jeremy Clarkson
    Johnny Depp
    Michael Douglas
    Rolf Harris
    Barry Manilow
    Robert Mugabe
    Ennio Morricone
    Paul McCartney
    Anne Robinson
    Harry Styles
    Donald Trump
  • monkeylizardmonkeylizard Shipmate
    edited February 2018
    Jimmy Carter (POTUS)
    George HW Bush (POTUS)
    Nancy Pelosi (US Congresswoman)
    Anthony Kennedy (SCOTUS)
    Ruth Bader Ginsberg (SCOTUS)
    Prince Philip (husband of QEII)
    Salman bin Abdulaziz Al Saud (King of Saudi Arabia)
    Bob Newhart (actor)
    Carol Burnett (comedian/actor)
    Christopher Plummer (actor)
    Mick Jagger (musician)
    Paul McCartney (musician)
    Bob Dylan (musician)
  • NiteowlNiteowl Shipmate
    1. George H. W. Bush
    2. Jimmy Carter
    3. Vladimer Putin
    4. Betty White
    5. Prince Phillip
    6. Mick Jagger
    7. Keith Richards
    8. Dick Van Dyke
    9. Charlie Sheen
    10. Lindsay Lohan
    11. John McCain
    12. Mylie Cyrus
    13. Courtney Love
  • Here's my list for this year. Some old favourites and some new faces.
    1. Leah Bracknell (actor)
    2. HRH The Duke of Edinburgh (retired naval officer)
    3. Prunella Scales (actor)
    4. Kim Jong Un (arse)
    5. Robert Mugabe (arse)
    6. HH Pope Benedict XVI (Pope Emeritus)
    7. George HW Bush (US President)
    8. Donald Trump (arse)
    9. Linda Nolan (sister)
    10. Stirling Moss (racing driver)
    11. Baroness Jowell of Brixton (politician)
    12. Lord Lawson of Blaby (politician)
    13. Bashar al-Assad (arse)
  • Schroedingers CatSchroedingers Cat Shipmate, Waving not Drowning Host
    Here's my list for this year. Some old favourites and some new faces.

    [*]Stirling Moss (racing driver)

    I know he is old, but he is indestructable! (I hope, he is a genuine hero, someone who raced at the top of his profession, but survived)
  • DalSegno. I feel the need to clarify that my Geoffrey Palmer is the British actor and not ex-PM of NZ.

    Yeah, I tripped over that one in the 2017 game. Thanks, guys.

  • Here's my recycled team, with one replacement

    1. Buzz Aldrin
    2. Ursula Andress
    3. Sir Stirling Moss ( SC -I think it's his inclusion in my list that's been keeping him alive)
    4. Ringo Starr
    5. Lou Ferrigno
    6. Aretha Franklin
    7. Elliott Gould
    8. Michael Crawford
    9. Gary Numan
    10. Rustie Lee
    11. Carlos Santana
    12. Paul Gadd / Gary Glitter
    13. Stanley Baxter
  • I know he is old, but he is indestructable! (I hope, he is a genuine hero, someone who raced at the top of his profession, but survived)

    He's definitely one of those on my list that I would be sorry to see go.
  • EnochEnoch Shipmate
    This is my list. I didn't score any last year, and I've made hardly any changes:-

    1. Pope Emeritus Benedict XVI.
    2. June Whitfield.
    3. Paul Gascoine (Gazza).
    4. Winnie Mandela.
    5. Prince Philip.
    6. James Earl (Jimmy) Carter.
    7. Robert Mugabe.
    8. Mikhail Sergeyevich Gorbachev.
    9. George H. W. Bush (Sen).
    10. Nigel Lawson (Lord Blaby).
    11. Douglas Hurd (Lord Westwell).
    12. Joseph (Sepp) Blatter.
    13. Stephen Hawking.

    I did think of including Donald Trump. Now that he's showed a small streak of rebelliousness towards the NRA, it strikes me that is there really were a slight risk of assassination, it would be more likely to come from a bat-freak on the right who decided he'd betrayed the true cause. But I think he'll jump back into compliance too soon to expose himself to any real danger.
  • Enoch wrote: »
    I did think of including Donald Trump. [... risk of assassination, ...]

    I don't think assassination is at all likely. He's an old man who has a fitness regime that consists of "don't take any exercise because it uses up heartbeats", and specializes in getting himself wound up by watching TV and then angrily tweeting about it. I'm thinking he's a heart attack risk.

  • Schroedingers CatSchroedingers Cat Shipmate, Waving not Drowning Host
    My problem is, I don't want Donald to die. I want him to live long enough to realise how utterly hated he is.
  • 1. Sir Paul McCartney
    2. Prince Charles
    3. Bill Murray
    4. Saad El-Din Rafik Al-Hariri
    5. John McCain
    6. Lewis Black
    7. Germaine Greer
    8. Xanam Gusmao
    9. Neil Diamond
    10. Charlie Sheen
    11. Nigel Lawson
    12. Courtney Love
    13. Shannen Doherty
  • Couple of successes I’d rather not have had last year, so two new names.

    1) Ringo Starr
    2) Keith Richards
    3) Rolf Harris
    4) Pele
    5) Baroness Trumpington
    6) Ken Dodd
    7) George H W Bush
    8) Prince Phillip
    9) Mark “The Undertaker” Calaway
    10) Tracey Emin
    11) Tony Blackburn
    12) Paul Gambaccini
    13) Jimmy Tarbuck
  • 1. Ken Dodd
    2. Shirley Bassey
    3. Tom Jones
    4. Prince Phillip
    5. Queen Elizabeth
    6. Pope Benedict
    7. Neil Diamond
    8. Rolf Harris
    9. Carl Palmer (ELO)
    10. Kim Jong Un - please!
    11. Donald Trump - please!
    12. Elton John
    13. Mick Jagger
  • Carl Palmer in ELO? What a magnificent typo!

  • PigletPiglet All Saints Host, Circus Host
    edited March 2018
    Here we are again ...

    Kiss of Life
    HM The Queen
    HRH Prince Philip

    Sir John Major
    George HW Bush

    We can But Hope
    Kim Jong-Un
    Robert Mugabe
    Donald Trump

    Stephen Fry
    Francis Rossi
    Sir Cliff Richard
    Sir Mick Jagger
    Dame Judi Dench
    Nicholas Parsons

    I've left out Dr. Francis Jackson, organist emeritus of York Minster, as he turned 100 last October. I do hope it doesn't kill him.
  • Carl Palmer in ELO? What a magnificent typo!


    Oops, meant ELP, of course! (Not helped by o and p being next to each other, so blame my typing).
  • TrudyTrudy Heaven Host
    For the last few years I have been nominating members of the extended Kardashian Klan, all of whom have emerged unscathed. I'm changing tack this year with another themed list, none of them people whose deaths I would welcome, but all award-winning Canadian writers over the age of 65. I've previously gone with lists of younger people in hopes of getting one big-point winner (no luck) but this time I'm going with older ones thinking it's more likely I might actually get a few points this year.

    1. Michael Ondaatje
    2. Margaret Atwood
    3. Alice Munro
    4. David Adams Richards
    5. Jane Urquhart
    6. Guy Vanderhaeghe
    7. Rudy Wiebe
    8. Sandra Birdsell
    9. Rohinton Mistry
    10. Susan Swan
    11. Leon Rooke
    12. George Bowering
    13. M. G. Vassanji
  • Cogsworth ticks no more, David Ogden Stiers has gone to meet his clockmaker.
  • Sir Roger Bannister's race is run: http://www.bbc.co.uk/sport/athletics/43273249

  • LydaLyda Shipmate
    Trudy, of course the Kardashians are unscathed. They aren't biologic anymore but made of indestructible plastics.

  • TrudyTrudy Heaven Host
    Lyda wrote: »
    Trudy, of course the Kardashians are unscathed. They aren't biologic anymore but made of indestructible plastics.

    That's why I figured there was no point keeping them on my list any longer. Like the cockroaches, they'll be here after the nuclear holocaust and long beyond.
  • sionisaissionisais Shipmate
    edited March 2018
    I am taking a different view of the Kardashians. All that surgery puts them in a higher risk category.
    1. Kris Jenner
    2. Caitlyn Jenner
    3. Kourtney Kardashian
    4. Kim Kardashian West
    5. Khloe Kardashian
    6. Rob Kardashian
    7. Kendall Jenner
    8. Kyle Jenner
    9. Kanye West (spouse of Kim Kardashian West)
    10. Lamar Odom (ex-spouse of Khloe Kardashian, ex basketball player)
    11. Ryan Seacrest (executive producer)
    12. O J Simpson (ex gridiron player, convicted kidnapper, now parolee and without whom we would never heard of any Kardashian)
    13. Ozzy Osbourne, aging rocker and star of The Osbournes, a previous Reality show that set the pattern for the Kardashian series.

  • balaambalaam Shipmate
    Trevor Baylis's radio has wound down.
  • Schroedingers CatSchroedingers Cat Shipmate, Waving not Drowning Host
    balaam wrote: »
    Trevor Baylis's radio has wound down.

    That is really sad, because, unlike certain other British inventors, he stayed true to his origins, wanting to make good stuff, not just lots of money.
  • AristonAriston Shipmate
    Wondering if someone wants to run the Kardashian/Rolling Stones no-hitter...
  • TrudyTrudy Heaven Host
    sionisais, I'm glad to see someone take over my old list, but if a Kardashian or one of their hangers-on dies this year, I'm going to be really mad that you got all the points! (At the time I made the original list, Lamar Odom was in a coma and I thought I had a really good chance there, but it turned out he had better luck than I, and recovered).
  • LydaLyda Shipmate
    Here goes:
    1. Benedict, Pope Emeritus
    2. Mamnoon Hussain- President of Pakistan
    3. Morrissey- musician, composer
    4. Mary-Kate Olsen- actor, fashionista
    5. Joni Mitchell- artist, musician, songwriter
    6. Bret Michaels- musician
    7. John McCain- US senator and war hero
    8. Stephen Hawking- physicist
    9. Kareem Abdul-Jabbar- retired basketball player
    10. Donald Trump- the Prez
    11. Sandra Lee- Food Network host/cook
    12. Kim Jong-un- “Beloved Leader”
    13. Valerie Harper- actor
  • SipechSipech Shipmate
    My kiss of life goes to:

    1. Syd Little (one-third of comedy double act "Little & Large")
    2. Murray Walker (F1 commentator)
    3. Dame Tessa Jowell (former MP)
    4. Bill Turnbull (former BBC Breakfast presenter)
    5. Ken Dodd (comedian)
    6. Sister Wendy Beckett (art historian and nun)
    7. Frank Williams (actor, Dad's Army)
    8. Prunella Scales (actor, Fawlty Towers)
    9. Jurgen Moltmann (theologian)
    10. Ozzy Osbourne (musician)
    11. Patricia Routledge (actor, Keeping Up Appearances)
    12. Clive James (tv presenter)
    13. Eddie Large (two-thirds of comedy double act "Little & Large")
  • jedijudyjedijudy Heaven Host

    1. Donald Trump
    2. John McCain
    3. Kim Jung Un
    4. Shannen Doherty
    5. Mike Pence
    6. Kellyanne Conway
    7. George H W Bush
    8. Charlie Rose
    9. Jeff Sessions
    10. Ayman al-Zawahiri
    11. Doris Day
    12. Ottfried Fischer
    13. Dick Cheney

    A bit different than my last year's list, which was the kiss of life.
  • 1. HRH The Duke of Kent
    2. Pope Benedict XVI
    3. John McCain
    4. Robert Mugabe
    5. Valerie Harper (Mary Tyler Moore co-star)
    6. Michael J Fox
    7. Professor Stephen Hawking
    8. Olivia Newton-John
    9. Lord (Peter) Carrington
    10. Clive James
    11. Henry Kissinger
    12. Valery Giscard-d'Estaing
    13. Mohammed Ali

    My first shot at this lark.
  • 13. Mohammed Ali

    Mohammed Ali died in 2016. :confused:
  • CrœsosCrœsos Shipmate
    Pigwidgeon wrote: »
    13. Mohammed Ali

    Mohammed Ali died in 2016. :confused:

    He did have a son named Muhammad Ali, Jr. (born 1972). Maybe that's who Pigwidgeon meant?
  • Ooops!

    Can I change my number 13 to:
    Joe Jackson (father of Michael, LaToya, etc)
  • Light UserLight User Shipmate
    edited March 2018
    Sister Wendy Beckett
    Sir Stirling Moss
    Shane MacGowan
    Dennis Skinner
    Jerry Lee Lewis
    Norma Waterson
    Willie Thorne
    Gerry Gable
    Ronnie Wood
    Abu Bakr al-Baghdadi
    Nobby Stiles
    Ronnie Galyon (world's oldest conjoined twin)
    Donnie Galyon (see above)
  • Here goes:
    1. Benedict XVI, Pope Emeritus
    2. John McCain, US senator
    3. Stephen Hawking- physicist
    4. Prince Philip, Duke of Edinburgh
    5. George H.W. Bush
    6. RJL ' Bob' Hawke, retired Aust PM
    7. Ethel Kennedy
    8. Olivia Newton-John
    9. Frank Lowy, founder of Westfield
    10. Clive James
    11. Henry Kissinger
    12. Kim Jong-un
    13. Tom Hughes (retired Aus politician, f-i-l of current PM)
  • I'm going for Booker Prize winners this time:
    VS Naipul (1971)
    Salman Rushdie (1981)
    Thomas Keneally (1982)
    JM Coetzee (1983)
    Keri Hulme (1985)
    Penelope Lively (1987)
    Peter Carey (1988)
    Kazuo Ishiguro (1989)
    AS Byatt (1990)
    Ben Okri (1991)
    Michael Ondaatje (1992 - joint)
    Roddy Doyle (1993)

    I'm surprised how many winners have already disqualified themselves from this game. And for my last entry I have selected:
    Nick Barbaro (co-founder of the Austin Chronicle)
  • The RogueThe Rogue Shipmate
    edited March 2018
    If you're interested in the interim period between the end of last year and the re-location of the Ship I can inform you that four nominated celebrities died in that time: Ursula K Le Guin, Billy Graham, Nanette Fabray & Lewis Gilbert.
  • SipechSipech Shipmate
    A few of us have Ken Dodd on our list, though he has now sadly died.http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-43367267
    (Must try to work out how to post links on the new ship).
    Will have to think about who ought to be added.
  • Looks like I need to make a last minute alteration - I’ll replace Ken Dodd with Billy Connolly.
  • SarasaSarasa Shipmate
    Haven't played for a while. I'm going for aging musicians though I hope the grim reaper doesn't actually call on any of them this year.

    1. Pete Townsend
    2. Roger Daltry
    3. Jerry Lee Lewis
    4. Little Richard
    5. Mick Jagger
    6. Bob Dylan
    7. Joan Baez
    8. Peter Noone (Hermen's Hermits)
    9. Ron Wood
    10. Keith Richard
    11. David Crosby
    12. Stepehn Stills
    13. Joni Mitchell
  • Sipech wrote: »
    A few of us have Ken Dodd on our list, though he has now sadly died..
    Did he?
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