Brexit Benefits

We've passed October 31st, and Johnson is clearly not dead in a ditch, so I can only assume we've left the EU. Therefore I'd like to celebrate some of the good things coming our way.

Top of my list is eating bendy bananas again. The straight ones don't taste the same. What about you?
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Comments

  • I just checked my passport, and it still says 'European Union' across the top.
  • I suppose you'll be able to call them "sausages" again, rather than "meat-flavoured bread sticks" or whatever it is that us evil Europeans made you call them. And you'll be able to order pints of beer again instead of half litres.
  • Having a hard time seeing anything that makes lives easier to live.
  • According to Yes, Prime Minister sausages were to be called "emulsified fat offal tubes", but Jim Hacker persuaded the EU to let us call them "British Sausages".

    Now let's call them "Brexit Sausages". Boosted as they will be with the growth hormones from the imported US meat.

    I can already feel Britons standing taller in consequence.
  • EnochEnoch Shipmate
    That some of the candidates in this election will be able to benefit from personal Russian and American funding without declaring it and without anyone asking them nasty questions.
  • If I leave the bread to long and it goes mouldy I can supply the NHS with penicillin.
  • EirenistEirenist Shipmate
    There's no chance of any fine upstanding British gangster being nicked on one of those evil European Arrest Warrants.
  • We'll be freed from the tyranny of the European Court of Justice (ECJ). In future our trade treaties will be subject to a proper international arbitration tribunal to which each sovereign nation will appoint a judge to ensure equity in application of said treaties.
  • FirenzeFirenze Shipmate, Host Emeritus
    No longer will we be affrighted in our supermarkets by the sight of a Polish sausages and pickles. Or French butter. Or Italian salami. Or Spanish oranges. Or Greek olives. In fact, we can admire the expanse of uncluttered shelving which sets off the proud British turnip, and the jars of rhubarb jam.
  • EnochEnoch Shipmate
    It will solve the problem with both legal and illegal immigrants because no one in their right mind will want to come here any more.

    Which will also mean we can cheerfully call any foreigner whom we do meet, 'stupid' because we'll know that if they weren't, they wouldn't be here.
  • We can return to using proper British currency - you know, pounds and pence that we’ve been banned from using all these years and our speed limits will be in miles per hour.
  • Spike wrote: »
    We can return to using proper British currency - you know, pounds and pence that we’ve been banned from using all these years and our speed limits will be in miles per hour.

    That would be pounds, shillings and pence, I hope.
  • BroJamesBroJames Purgatory Host
    Florins, half crowns, crowns, groats and marks
  • FirenzeFirenze Shipmate, Host Emeritus
    Sixpence! Threepenny bits! Halfpennies! Farthings! Real money - get rid of these newfangled cards (which were probably invented Abroad) and go back to being properly ballasted with bags of change.
  • Oh yes! And silver sixpences in the Christmas pudding! :smiley:
  • Robert ArminRobert Armin Shipmate
    edited November 9
    And we'll need halfpennies and farthings because our money won't be worth so much. Therefore a pound will go further....
  • BoogieBoogie Shipmate
    The Good Old Days of tin baths by the fire.
  • {Cross-Pond}

    During Dubya's time, IIRC, he and/or the administration was mad at France, for some reason. So there were attempts to call French fries (chips in UK) "freedom fries". ISTM you could use a similar strategy--either for your UK foods, or for foreign delicacies (when you can get/make them.

    No offense to France!

    IMHO, YMMV.
  • KarlLBKarlLB Shipmate
    Genuine possible benefit - Farage will no longer actually have any purpose and will hopefully retire.
  • FirenzeFirenze Shipmate, Host Emeritus
    Boogie wrote: »
    The Good Old Days of tin baths by the fire.

    There's posh. We 'ad to tek clothes off and stand in the rain.

    Actually, I'd start collecting firewood now, since much of UK power generation is owned by Électricité de France.
  • We're all going to be a lot tougher, with tin baths and no medicine. Give it a few generations and natural selection will kick in. All the weaklings will have died off and the British will be a super race. We might even get into the top three of the Olympics!
  • The thread title has provoked an association in me with Harry & Paul's The Benefits. I am simply amazed that I don't have to supply a language warning with that link...
  • We're all going to be a lot tougher, with tin baths and no medicine. Give it a few generations and natural selection will kick in. All the weaklings will have died off and the British will be a super race. We might even get into the top three of the Olympics!

    Morlocks a day Eloi, perhaps?
  • TrudyTrudy Heaven Host
    Based on my observation as a tourist in London and Bristol last year, I'm assuming you're all going to get a lot of great experience out of the new National-Service-type program you're going to have to institute wherein every Briton has to serve a mandatory two years in the service industry. Gotta get replacements for all those lovely young European servers who treated us so well in every cafe and restaurant we went to!
  • lol @ mandatory service industry service.

    There's an ongoing campaign about award breaches and underpayment of wages in the restaurant and cafe sector here. Staggering levels of underpaument by top restaurants, like millions of dollars they owe their staff. Woolies the supermarket has fessed up to the wages cops voluntarily as a result.

    Maybe the booting of insecure foreign workers who might not be unionised or know their rights will result in similar campaigns when the savvy British worker is back waiting tables.
  • KarlLBKarlLB Shipmate
    Simon Toad wrote: »
    lol @ mandatory service industry service.

    There's an ongoing campaign about award breaches and underpayment of wages in the restaurant and cafe sector here. Staggering levels of underpaument by top restaurants, like millions of dollars they owe their staff. Woolies the supermarket has fessed up to the wages cops voluntarily as a result.

    Maybe the booting of insecure foreign workers who might not be unionised or know their rights will result in similar campaigns when the savvy British worker is back waiting tables.

    You think? They're just as terrified of abusive bosses (sorry, wealth creating entrepreneurs) as every other poor sod.

    This believe it or not is from Viz - Barney Farmer does some very bleak social commentary cartoons there: https://www.flickr.com/photos/norbet/23835133038#
  • No more unhealthy tiramisu and tarte tatin. We shall be able to enjoy our good old British sago and tapioca in peace.
  • FirenzeFirenze Shipmate, Host Emeritus
    Eirenist wrote: »
    We shall be able to enjoy our good old British sago and tapioca in peace.

    Harvested from the palm forests and cassava fields around Doncaster. Probably by cheery Cockneys bussed in specially.


  • KarlLBKarlLB Shipmate
    I made macaroni pudding last night. Made from genuine Kent grown durum wheat*

    *Not really.
  • Any shortages, disruptions, delays, etc, can be laid on the lap of the Leave voters and especially on those who deceived them into voting that way.

    Not a benefit, but a just conclusion.
  • BroJamesBroJames Purgatory Host
    We can drink proper English tea again as well.
  • We can get our 11 days back by reverting to the old calendar. Can't remember whether that's Julian or Gregorian however.
  • We can get our 11 days back by reverting to the old calendar. Can't remember whether that's Julian or Gregorian however.

    It will probably be renamed the Johnsonian.
  • Coffee menus will disappear. Instant coffee will be back.
  • KarlLBKarlLB Shipmate
    Coffee menus will disappear. Instant coffee will be back.

    This is a benefit how?

    I mean I wouldn't miss all the machiattos and skinny lattes and other crap people buy if they don't really like coffee, but instant? Those ground-up demon winnets?
  • re: coffee. I think the only benefit could be that the names for the different types will be in the kind of language Brexiteers will understand. TBH I find some of the terms used cringeworthy and there are only two coffee shops in Newport at which I can get a ristretto.
  • Am I the only person to get confused by all the drinks on offer? All I want is a coffee!
  • Am I the only person to get confused by all the drinks on offer? All I want is a coffee!

    Nope. Black, white, short, frothy, iced.
  • Short? Iced????? What fresh hell is this?
  • KarlLBKarlLB Shipmate
    Am I the only person to get confused by all the drinks on offer? All I want is a coffee!

    Is "a coffee" instant or real? With or without milk? Some places (heathen swamps) give you white instant if you ask for "a coffee".
  • KarlLB wrote: »
    Am I the only person to get confused by all the drinks on offer? All I want is a coffee!

    Is "a coffee" instant or real? With or without milk? Some places (heathen swamps) give you white instant if you ask for "a coffee".

    Would the "heathen swamp" you refer to be a church?
  • KarlLBKarlLB Shipmate
    sionisais wrote: »
    KarlLB wrote: »
    Am I the only person to get confused by all the drinks on offer? All I want is a coffee!

    Is "a coffee" instant or real? With or without milk? Some places (heathen swamps) give you white instant if you ask for "a coffee".

    Would the "heathen swamp" you refer to be a church?

    Not specifically but there have been instances...
  • Am I the only person to get confused by all the drinks on offer? All I want is a coffee!

    No. And it was when I returned to the UK and was offered this hitherto unknown hyperchoice of coffee that I really knew it had become a foreign country to me.
  • Coffee! Ha! The roasted fruits of sturdy English oak is all we'll need
  • BroJamesBroJames Purgatory Host
    Unless your going to suck your nuts* you’ll need some boiling water as well.

    (* :mrgreen:)
  • Well, long ago, we threw your tea into the bay (?) at Boston as a tax protest; and IIRC switched to coffee.

    You could ditch coffee for tea, ground acorns, dried dandelion roots...

    Just be careful about actually throwing anything into a bay, etc. Greenpeace wasn't around for the original Boston Tea Party.
    ;)
  • Am I the only person to get confused by all the drinks on offer? All I want is a coffee!

    A few years ago on my trips home I started seeing 'Americano' coffee offered. Such a thing appears to be unknown in North America. It took a while to find out that it actually means 'coffee', and was invented to satisfy Americans in Europe.
  • MarsupialMarsupial Shipmate
    edited November 14
    It's supposed to be espresso diluted with hot water to create something approximately the strength of a normal drip coffee. It's basically a way of making something approximating a North American drip coffee without a drip coffee maker. I'm surprised you haven't seen it in North America though as most mid-market coffee shops (e.g. Starbucks) have it on the menu.

    The thing I find somewhat astonishing about coffee shops in Europe (including UK) is the universal awfulness of Starbucks coffee. Starbucks makes a perfectly decent cup of coffee in North America (and Asia, in my experience) but they seem to specialize in the aromaless, flavourless coffee segment of the market in Europe. As in, coffee without any recognizable coffeeness to it.
  • Gee DGee D Shipmate
    Starbucks failed in the market here. I know of only 3 remaining in the whole Sydney region - the international terminal at the airport, and one each in the city and the suburb of Chatswood.
  • I doubt if the current UK tea plantations could produce enough to supply all the tea drinkers with their favourite beverage. We'd all have to start growing our own.
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