Aaarggghhh, me hearties!

Lamb ChoppedLamb Chopped Shipmate
edited November 23 in Heaven
I just learned today I've got to have surgery after all for a macular hole (and within a year or two, a double cataract surgery). Therefore I invite you to help me plan my pirating! I'm already planning to get the Jolly Roger to fly above my cube at work; it being a Christian organization, the "pirate liturgy" will be posted by my door. And of course the eyepatch--i need some sort of black silk patch to cover the taped-on monstrosity they usually send you home with. Has anyone had experience of what might work (or not) given the medical, ah, issue? I have rather a large head, and any elastic will have to go on working through three surgery recovery times. So, not crap.

Comments

  • RossweisseRossweisse Shipmate, Hell Host
    No, but I might be able to find a bandanna to tie around your head.
  • MaryLouiseMaryLouise Purgatory Host
    LC, I've had years of eye surgeries for all kinds of problems and I'm blind (rubeotic or neovascular glaucoma) in my right eye. The piratical look sounds fabulous, but make sure it is comfortable and stable and have a few patches in lightweight washable silk. I found that a jaunty animal-print scarf tied across my head to cover the bandage gave me a lopsided charm that annoyed some hospital visitors.
  • No idea about pirates but 🕯for you @Lamb Chopped .
  • DooneDoone Shipmate
    ... and you definitely need a parrot sitting on your shoulder 🦜! 🕯for successful operations.
  • jedijudyjedijudy Heaven Host
    Don't forget to have one of these!!!
  • FirenzeFirenze Shipmate, Host Emeritus
    And splice the mainbrace as often as you feel dispoged.
  • People have already beaten me to parrots and grog, and I don't recommend a peg leg. Since you inhabit a cube at work, you could let the coworkers know (after you've established your piratey credentials) that 19 September is International Pirate Day. You might score a festive cake! (Pirates shared, you know.) You could decorate a wall with a little figure walking the plank (A little plastic figure attached to a popsicle stick, taped taped to the wall).
  • Don't forget to take industrial quantities of illegal drugs until you can convince yourself that 'Eye eye!' is the most hilarious thing anyone could possibly say to you.
  • Grog sounds lovely. Pity I'm insensitive to most of the illegal drugs! I'll have my parrot for support (we've got a stuffed animal one downstairs).

    I've had a sudden realization that I'll maybe not be able to wear my glasses over the eyeshield etc. they're going to be taping on me--which will mean effective blindness, as I'm at 10 diopters in the working eye. Sucky sucky sucky suck.

    Where can I get a monocle on short notice?
  • Of course, if you really want to go with quality merchandise, I recommend the Hello Kitty Eye Patch. Hello Kitty always means quality. It's the law.

    And doesn't it just blow your mind that there actually IS such a thing????
  • I had an eye patch which worked fine under eyeglasses after procedures. Worked fine. I found I needed a hat with a brim because of light sensitivity.

    Eye surgery. In my experience they are very precise and technical. I can't say I've enjoyed any of the things done but the people looking after me were tremendous. My 91 year old father has had 31 appointments with the same crew over 15 months more recently. It's one thing we agree on quite well. I hope your crew is the same.

    Re pirate paraphernalia, I think some sort of weapon. I've always wanted a cannon myself. Sadly the crew in my house has said they'd mutiny if I got one.
  • jedijudyjedijudy Heaven Host
    Oooh, yes. A weapon! This might do the trick! :joy:
  • {{{{{{{LC}}}}}}}

    Various resources and ideas:

    --I did a search on "women pirates in history". LOTS of hits. Try this one:

    "The Swashbuckling History of Women Pirates: When women roamed the high seas in search of fortune, freedom, and sometimes revenge" (Smithsonian).

    I'm interested in Irish pirate Grace/Granuille O'Malley. She only gets a brief mention there, but more in many other hits.

    --Get pics from the "Pirates Of The Caribbean" film series or "Pirates Of Penzance" film, and use them as screensavers and backgrounds. The music is good, too. The second one is based on the Gilbert & Sullivan play, and is hilarious.

    --If you search on "pirate gear", you'll find lots of sites to give you ideas.

  • Re the Cutlass: WANT WANT WANT.

    Hello Kitty, erm, not so much. :killingme:

    The bandanna idea is a good one, and I might be able to rustle up a scarf big enough--will have to experiment. I hope to visit a medical equipment place this week, because my hat size is absurdly large, and I'd do better to try on a patch before I buy. Heck, I'll probably get one for each eye if they suit, given the future surgeries awaiting me...

    Love the hat, but I fear HR will have a hissy fit, all the more as they have donors doing tours through the building a lot lately (why? I don't know) and I'm er (cough cough) a tourist attraction, rather like a dancing bear, on the way. They all want to see the writer whose name they recognize. Ha. So anything too ... exciting ... may be right out. But I'll push the envelope as far as I can.

    I really would like to put a skull-and-crossbones on my black patch if at all possible. I was hoping to find one ready-made that wasn't fall-apart-instantly-party-crap, but no luck so far. So I'm stuck improvising. Must I embroider, do you think? It's rather a small canvas to try painting, and I'm not much of a hand at drawing.
  • How about a Lutheran symbol--or a pic of the Luther dude ;) --on the patch?
  • Gill HGill H Shipmate
    You could be Red from the Pirates of the Caribbean ride. Recently she has changed. The animatronic used to be a captive woman who the pirates were bidding for (“We wants the redhead!”) but now she is an awesome badass pirate woman who is part of the crew. I believe they are making a film of her backstory.
  • I'm sort of going for mildly subversive-and-sassy here--most folks there are Lutheran, so a Lutheran symbol would just get mild looks of inquiry as to why I felt it necessary to be pious/up myself. Now an Episcopalian symbol... :naughty:

    Nope, I think it's a pirate's life for me.
  • Addendum:

    I wonder if you could make use of these tattoos from OldLutheran.com? It doesn't say how they work, but it might be a "press on to your skin, rub, peel off, and let dry" scenario. Comes as 25 tatts for $4. If they wouldn't show on the black (?) patch, maybe put them on some lighter fabric, then fasten onto the patch?

    I wanted to suggest a "Sin boldly!" pic, but I didn't find any. (The site has that on other products, thought.) However, there are other fun choices. The ambigram of "Saint" and "Sinner" is nice, as is the "Lutheran chick"!
    :)

    You'll look so kick-ass, LC!
  • Gill H wrote: »
    You could be Red from the Pirates of the Caribbean ride. Recently she has changed. The animatronic used to be a captive woman who the pirates were bidding for (“We wants the redhead!”) but now she is an awesome badass pirate woman who is part of the crew. I believe they are making a film of her backstory.

    Would that I had the figure for it!
  • Lamb ChoppedLamb Chopped Shipmate
    edited November 24
    The OldLutheran site is fun, isn't it? I was trying desperately back in 2017 (500th anniversary of the 95 Theses) to find some Luther socks (Hier stehe ich, naturlich) but it didn't work out. Or a floor mat.

    *"here I stand," naturally
  • Ricardus wrote: »
    Don't forget to take industrial quantities of illegal drugs until you can convince yourself that 'Eye eye!' is the most hilarious thing anyone could possibly say to you.

    I MISSED THIS PUN (topples over in a dead faint)
  • Re Old Lutheran:

    I miss the Lutheran humor they used to have on their old version of the site!
  • FirenzeFirenze Shipmate, Host Emeritus
    Re the seeing: would the magnifying glass on a stand help? I have an inexpensive one, can either be set up, or worn round the neck (though I've not tried this).
  • ……….

    Re pirate paraphernalia, I think some sort of weapon. I've always wanted a cannon myself. Sadly the crew in my house has said they'd mutiny if I got one.
    My illustrious forebear used to carry two pistols, dagger, cutlass and a blunderbuss (basically a hand-held cannon), plus lighted fuses (used to set off cannon) in his beard.
  • Golly! How many hands did he have (and I don't mean sailors....)?
    :scream:
  • Ol' Blackbeard threw a pretty decent tea party too...

    Blackbeard's Tea Party
  • Lamb ChoppedLamb Chopped Shipmate
    edited November 24
    link won't work for me... The (ahem) spyglass might work for brief, basic things, but probably not for writing or reading (for long), which is my primary frustration. Still, it won't hurt to hunt one up.

    cannons in one's beard?!?!?
  • BroJamesBroJames Purgatory Host
    try this
  • I'm sort of going for mildly subversive-and-sassy here--most folks there are Lutheran, so a Lutheran symbol would just get mild looks of inquiry as to why I felt it necessary to be pious/up myself. Now an Episcopalian symbol... :naughty:

    Nope, I think it's a pirate's life for me.
    Would the pirate name of Luther Rose be subversive enough?

  • Hahahahahahahaha

    I've got some red hair dye in the bathroom...
  • BroJames wrote: »
    try this

    Thanks, BroJames - any idea what I mucked up there?

    AG
  • ((((LC)))).
  • BroJamesBroJames Purgatory Host
    BroJames wrote: »
    try this

    Thanks, BroJames - any idea what I mucked up there?

    AG
    Yes. I think your pasted URL collided with the ‘http://’ that the code dialog sometimes pre-loads. IME it’s worth double checking before pasting that the code dialogue is actually empty, and as always Preview is your friend.
  • Have you considered dumping the eye patch, and instead wearing a fake scar from your cheek, through your eyebrow and up into your hairline?

    You would look extremely evil, and you could develop a suite of backstories to tell people when they ask you what happened.
  • I have now discovered that apparently they won't have me wearing a patch anywhere outside the house, which is rather disappointing. I may get a cheap one just in case (no guarantees are made about how well the eyes will function together in the beginning).
  • FirenzeFirenze Shipmate, Host Emeritus
    A Lone Ranger style mask (one eye covered, obvs). With the added advantage that no one, not even your closest friends and relations, will know who you are (I've seen grand opera, I know these things).
  • MiffyMiffy Shipmate
    edited November 29
    Trying hard to imagine this little chap with a Hello Kitty eyepatch.

    [edited to fix link-jj, HH]
  • RossweisseRossweisse Shipmate, Hell Host
    I'm sort of going for mildly subversive-and-sassy here--most folks there are Lutheran, so a Lutheran symbol would just get mild looks of inquiry as to why I felt it necessary to be pious/up myself. Now an Episcopalian symbol... :naughty:

    Nope, I think it's a pirate's life for me.

    Well, then, print out, cut out, and firmly attach an Episcopal shield to your patch! That will get their attention.

    (The Episcopal Church welcomes you, just in case you get kicked out of the MoSyn.)

    (Note: This was supposed to be posted on 11/25, but somehow didn't make it up. Better late...)


  • heheheheheheh. Actually, it might get a whole lot of "What dat?" :mrgreen:

    My current work really isn't into kicking out people, thank God.
  • RossweisseRossweisse Shipmate, Hell Host
    Deo gratias!
  • LC--

    If you really want to shake them up, how about wearing a symbol of a different faith each week? And is there one for Secular Humanist? Give 'em something to think about! ;)

    NOTE: I don't intend that as disrespect to any belief system. I take them seriously--and draw on various ones, myself. But, in the context of LC's situation, I think it could be appropriately funny.
  • I note that Madonna’s taken to wearing an eye-patch for some reason. Feels a bit weird and ableist to me.

    When husband en rouge had to wear one, he just embraced the piratical persona.
  • Yo ho, yo ho, a pirate's life for me....
  • I note that Madonna’s taken to wearing an eye-patch for some reason. Feels a bit weird and ableist to me.

    When husband en rouge had to wear one, he just embraced the piratical persona.

    Her "reason" does seem very ableist.
  • Pangolin GuerrePangolin Guerre Shipmate
    edited December 2
    I remember seeing a large number of years ago the Met production of Don Carlos in which Princess Eboli sang Nel giardin del bello saracin wearing a diamond encrusted eye patch. Very Madge.
  • "Madge"???

    Thx.
  • Lamb ChoppedLamb Chopped Shipmate
    edited December 3
    Oh sucky suck. I HOPE there's nobody at work who follows Madonna and will make that connection.
  • Just skimmed the article on Madonna. Yikes! :( Oh, and I see that "Madge" is Madonna.
  • RossweisseRossweisse Shipmate, Hell Host
    I remember seeing a large number of years ago the Met production of Don Carlos in which Princess Eboli sang Nel giardin del bello saracin wearing a diamond encrusted eye patch. Very Madge.

    The eyepatch is true to life; the real Princess Eboli was blind in one eye, and hence wore eyepatches of various designs.

    Here's the immortal Tatiana Troyanos as Eboli at the Met, in that fun aria, which she sings exceedingly well.

  • Oh, I've heard of her! But by her other name: Ana de Mendoza.

    FYI: I watch kids' shows on PBS. (Yes, really. They're fun, and sometimes I even learn something.)
    :)

    So...Ana de Mendoza was mentioned on an episode of the cartoon "Arthur". Basically, some girls are into "Princess Platoon" dolls--usual fussy, stereotypically pretty princess stuff--and acting them out. And that's the problem. An older girl, Lydia (who both uses a wheelchair and is a gifted athlete, and is super smart), is being left out. As this plays out, Ana de Mendoza is mentioned, and some of the girls develop new kinds of princess categories.

    Here's the episode. It's the second half: "The Princess Problem", and it starts at 12 min. 31 sec. in. Has video, audio, and closed captions.

    Worth a watch, IMHO!
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