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Today I Consign To Hell -the All Saints version

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  • PigletPiglet All Saints Host, Circus Host
    Can you enlist the help of a Serf*?

    * There was an elderly, naval gentleman who lived across the road from my old house; he had quite an extensive plot of fruit and vegetable garden and used to employ a Chap to look after it, and my dad always jokingly referred to him as the Captain's "serf".
  • BF - are you on fresh water or salt?

    Iron does indeed last better than steel. I think that the ancient pleasure boats on Windermere and/or Ullswater are iron, as it the good Barge "Thistle" on which I sailed happily down the Orwell a couple of years ago (most barges are wood). So presumably is the SS "Great Britain".

    https://www.top-sail.co.uk/barges/thistle/
  • @Baptist Trainfan - Salty water - the tidal section of the river.

    @Piglet - yes, Serfs are available, and will be employed (as in fact happened last year).

  • ClimacusClimacus Shipmate
    Only 42% of senior managers polled by AXA PPP agreed that the flu was a serious enough reason for absence...
    The 58% who don't. Yes, force us to come in and spread our viruses [virii?] around the place. Real smart.
  • We had the same dichotomy when I worked for an NHS Ambulance Service. If you went off sick for a few days with a streaming cold, or perhaps longer with 'flu (though that was, in truth, uncommon), you were hauled over the coals, and threatened with all sorts of Dire Penalties.

    If, OTOH, you dragged yourself into work from your sick-bed, infecting your colleagues and crewmates, you also ran the risk of infecting, and potentially killing-off, acutely-ill patients with non-existent immune systems.....work that one out!

    Actually, in the long run, that would save the NHS money, no?

    Cynical? Moi?
  • PigletPiglet All Saints Host, Circus Host
    Wouldn't staff working directly with patients be routinely given the flu jab?

    I totally sympathise with the dilemma though - I was brought up to go to school unless I had something like mumps (when I was so ill I couldn't have gone in if I'd wanted to), but a cold wasn't anything like a reason for absence. I then worked for 15 years for a boss who thought the same, so I always struggled in, knowing that I'd be bitched about if I didn’t.

    Sadly, there's a fine line between not spreading germs and being seen as a malingerer.
  • Piglet wrote: »
    Wouldn't staff working directly with patients be routinely given the flu jab?

    O, indeed we were. I didn't express myself very well - peeps often said 'I've got the 'flu', when what they meant was 'I've got a cold'! Cases of actual influenza were rare.

  • PigletPiglet All Saints Host, Circus Host
    Absolutely. That was a phenomenon I hadn't really encountered until we went to Belfast, where most people (and not just men - it wasn't necessarily man-flu) reckoned more than two consecutive sneezes counted as flu.

    In my book, unless you wake up feeling as though you've been kicked by a medium-sized horse, it's just a bad cold.
  • Coming up to flu season down here but too early yet for fluvax. I recognise that a bad cold can feel absolutely appalling, but colds and flu are two separate illnesses.
  • Golden KeyGolden Key Shipmate, Glory
    Two things:

    --Sometimes, workers don't have sick pay, so it's a matter of going to work or not having enough money for rent and food.

    --Flu and cold can be hard to tell apart (WebMD). People's symptoms and immune systems vary.
  • HuiaHuia Shipmate
    Lothlorien wrote: »
    Coming up to flu season down here but too early yet for fluvax.

    Usually it's the first of April here, but there is talk of putting it off for a couple of weeks now that new supplies of measles vaccination have become available and clinics are madly vaccinating people who aren't sufficiently covered.

    If you suspect you have measles and need to see a doctor you ring to make an appointment, then when you arrive at the medical practice phone to say you're there and wait in the car until a masked nurse comes out to escort you to a sterile room. Some people have been treated in the carpark.

    Don't know what happens if you don't have a car.
  • North East QuineNorth East Quine Purgatory Host
    That sounds sensible. When he was two the North East Loon was ill and spotty. I asked the health visitor to look at him at home and she said to take him to the GP. So we spent 25 mins in the ante-natal /post-natal / small child waiting room, only to be told he had rubella He'd had the first MMR, so the possibility of rubella hadn't occurred to me. The GP was actually quite annoyed with me for not considering rubella - as he said, if the first MMR provided immunity, why would children get a second one?
  • i consign myself - for pressing the "unmute" button instead of the "end call" button on a work teleconference, and then telling one of my colleagues what I *really* thought of the situation.
    No, I didn't swear or directly insult anyone, and yes many people had already come off the call, but still :disappointed:
    (this place needs a blushing face without a smug grin)
  • Rehearsing a choir at this time of year can be, shall we say, challenging: 'flu, general coughs and colds, people feeling mumpish/ suffering from SAD, etc, etc, etc.

    But even so, if you don't like the choice of motet for Sunday keep your thoughts to yourself and just sing the bl**dy thing: don't sit there with your arms crossed, glowering and remark to the air that you felt it sounded "lifeless" :rage:

    Can I self-award something for not pointing out the prime reason it didn't go south was because you weren't singing :grin:
  • Penny SPenny S Shipmate
    The process involving Virgin Healthcare and the local surgery whereby essential dressings etc do not arrive at the local chemist, and the nurses aren't told so turn up with no way to carry out their work. I may have mentioned this before. But it's got worse. Just a month ago, I found out that I could bypass VH and put in a request for the stuff myself at the surgery. Hooray. But yesterday I found that the surgery has changed their prescription "service" so they cannot produce them on site. Impasse. Apparently to avoid erroneous prescribing. Monday will be interesting.
  • Allergies! All of the rain we've had recently is causing everything to bloom and spread pollen throughout the air. I missed a funeral this afternoon and will be missing a St. Patrick's Day (Eve) party tonight.
    :cry:


  • Yes, my Pilates Torturer Instructress is suffering from hay-fever at the moment, which, for Ukland, seems a bit early in the year.

    But, as you infer, Global Warming (non-existent, according to your Pre***ent) seems to be having an effect......
  • TICTH the organisers of the Millrose Games in New York.

    Kemoy Campbell ran in the 3000 metres as a pacemaker and he collapsed to the side of the track. Doctors say he basically "died" and he lost two days entirely, spending 17 days in hospital and had an internal defibrillator installed.

    His sponsors, Reebok, have donated $50,000 towards the cost of treatment but his girlfriend has had to set up a donation page because he didn't have medical insurance. What the hell did the games organisers think they are doing? They organised the games, they know athletes push themselves to the limit so they should bloody well pick up the tab.
  • Oh, and the scum responsible for this and all those who have "inspired" them, like Farage and the others who use race to divide society. Our British Asian son-in-law has family in Birmingham. Things can't be easy for British Muslims at the moment.
  • PigletPiglet All Saints Host, Circus Host
    In the report in your link, West Midlands Police said they were "yet to establish a motive".

    Hmm ... breaking windows in mosques - how about racism and/or Islamophobia?

    Just an idea ... :rage:
  • Probably correct, but the Polis just can't be too careful these days, alas....
    :angry:

    Meanwhile, TICTH the bozos at Glenryck Pilchards who pack their (excellent) product in tins without a ring-pull......

    Seeking to prepare my Friday Lent lunch of Fish and Potatoes, I found I had to exhume a semi-derelict handraulically-operated can opener from the drawer in the galley of the Episcopal Ark.

    The attempt to extricate the said Pilchards was successful, but the unfortunate sweary-words I used as I mangulated the tin have probably negated any spiritual benefit I might have accrued from my Penitential Lunch.
  • DooneDoone Shipmate
    Bishop’s Finger you have brightened my day 😂, so any negatives you accrued have been, hopefully, negated!
  • KarlLBKarlLB Shipmate
    I can't imagine what sins I'd be attempting to shrive by eating pilchards...
  • Baptist TrainfanBaptist Trainfan Shipmate
    edited March 2019
    I'm sure they would have to have been extremely serious ones, otherwise it wouldn't be worth the effort. (I am not a pilchardphile, though I like sardines!)
  • Penny SPenny S Shipmate
    Have you read that Glenryck ship the Atlantic pilchards to Thailand for packing in said ring-less tins? I have forsworn them since I spotted that.
  • I seem to remember reading of Lowestoft or Grimsby (frozen) fish making a similar journey. Bonkers.
  • Penny S wrote: »
    Have you read that Glenryck ship the Atlantic pilchards to Thailand for packing in said ring-less tins? I have forsworn them since I spotted that.

    No, I didn't know that.

    Sardines or Mackerel it shall be from now on.

    Or will I be putting someone out of a Job, however humble?

  • PigletPiglet All Saints Host, Circus Host
    I think I'd have enough trouble getting pilchards out of a tin even with the ring-pull (assuming I liked pilchards, which I don't).

    I do, however, join others in appreciation to BF for giving me a good laugh, for which I think he merits many years relief from Purgatory. :mrgreen:
  • And you have added 'handraulically' to my vocabulary, which I shall remember when more, ahem, conventional words slip from my mind!

    @Heavenlyannie , I didn't feel at all like going out last night* but we had a brilliant evening no more than a mile or so away last night. A troupe called 'The Pantaloons' were doing 'The Odyssey' in a local hall. Two hours of action-packed iambic pentameter, music, song and action was a fabulous way to re-tell the story. We've been to Ithaca on a sailing holiday, and moored overnight near a spot known locally as the gateway to Hades, so that added a further frisson.

    *YMMV, of course, but I often find that the less I want to go the more fun I have.

    (Frisson - a pretentious way of saying 'thrill', I suppose!)

    Mrs. S, still laughing
  • HeavenlyannieHeavenlyannie Shipmate
    edited March 2019
    @Heavenlyannie , I didn't feel at all like going out last night* but we had a brilliant evening no more than a mile or so away last night. A troupe called 'The Pantaloons' were doing 'The Odyssey' in a local hall. Two hours of action-packed iambic pentameter, music, song and action was a fabulous way to re-tell the story. We've been to Ithaca on a sailing holiday, and moored overnight near a spot known locally as the gateway to Hades, so that added a further frisson.

    *YMMV, of course, but I often find that the less I want to go the more fun I have.

    (Frisson - a pretentious way of saying 'thrill', I suppose!)

    Mrs. S, still laughing
    I think you might have intended to put this on the Brits thread but I guess it’s just as suitable here!
    That sounds like a lovely evening.
    My dilemma is my bipolar disorder. I seldom go out to parties where there are too many strangers and in some ways it would be good to step out of my comfort zone occasionally so that I don’t grow to fear them. But one of my means of controlling my mania is by not oversocialising. I’m clearly hypomanic at present so should reduce stimuli. I am also tired which is another trigger. Fun would not necessarily be good for me. I will see how I feel tonight and whether I am up to it - my husband will bring me back if I can’t cope.
    So, while I am in the saintly hell thread, I will consign to hell manic insomnia which wakes me with racing thoughts at 5am!
  • Amen to that. One of our congregation, Brother D., also can't cope with too many people, so he's OK with our small numbers (in a BIG church), during the Sunday Mass, but flees immediately after the service...

    Alas, he lives too far away (and he doesn't drive), which is a shame, as the 2 or 3 gathered at a weekday Mass would be much easier for him to handle.
  • SarasaSarasa All Saints Host
    Heavenly Annie I think you should do what you think is right. I quite often find I can't cope with too many people. That's mainly due to my hearing though, I have to really concentrate.
    Mrs S, we went to Ithaca for my brothers wedding sixteen years ago. Lovely place and my nephew has Ullyses as a middle name
  • Sarasa wrote: »
    Mrs S, we went to Ithaca for my brothers wedding sixteen years ago. Lovely place and my nephew has Ullyses as a middle name

    Wow. Just wow.

  • PigletPiglet All Saints Host, Circus Host
    ... action-packed iambic pentameter ...
    I wonder if those words have ever appeared together before. :mrgreen:

  • Piglet wrote: »
    ... action-packed iambic pentameter ...
    I wonder if those words have ever appeared together before. :mrgreen:

    There's much action-packed iambic pentameter in Shakespeare. The first one that springs to my mind is "A horse! a horse! my kingdom for a horse!"
  • Bishops FingerBishops Finger Shipmate
    edited March 2019
    So, TICTH whoever, for not having obliged his late Majesty Richard III......
    :wink:

    I wonder how the Reformation (for instance) might eventually have proceeded in Ukland if Richard III had won....??

    Chances are, we wouldn't have Treeza Bloodymind as our PM....(see what I did there? Linking two or more threads?) :grimace:
  • North East QuineNorth East Quine Purgatory Host
    All the talk of pilchards sent me to YouTube to enjoy Hancock's "You are never alone with a pilchard" clip. But it's not there! :cry:

    Anyone know what the pilchards episode might have been called, if it wasn't called "Grimsby pilchards"?
  • O dear. Sorry about that.

    I rather doat on pilchards (as Jane Austen might say), but I wasn't aware that the Late Lamented Anthony Aloysius did as well!

    I hope you find it - if you do, please post a linky.....
  • RossweisseRossweisse Hell Host, 8th Day Host, Glory
    I had never heard the term "pilchard," somehow, so I googled it (well, I DuckDuckGo.com'd it) and found this:
    A fish, often tinned and doused in lashings of tomato sauce.

    In human form: a pilchard is a no good, manipulating git who slimes into your life without warning, often in an underhand and devious manner. The pilchard, or pilch, (if you will) will take you for all you are worth, sucking you dry of emotion, money and soul. They have a distinctive look (like Eddie Windass off Coronation Street) but this may be overlooked due to their uncanny ability to fit in and mingle with the everyday folk and ultimately defecate on the lives of all they come into contact with.
    (This leaves me with the question "Who or what is Eddie Windass?," but I think I'm done for the night.)

  • Golden KeyGolden Key Shipmate, Glory
    Sounds like the human version is a grifter or con artist.
  • Bishops FingerBishops Finger Shipmate
    edited March 2019
    But...but...yer real, akshul, Pilchard is a most nourishing Fish, ideal for consumption in Lent (or Tomato Sauce - or both)!

    My only problem is the effort required to get into the bleeding* Tin without ending up with bleeding Fingers.

    *This is Hell, sort of. I'm using a Sweary-Word.
  • Penny SPenny S Shipmate
    Many years - no, decades - ago, a programme called "Tomorrow's World" showed a new sort of tin opened which cut through the folded metal seal of the tin, producing a safe edge, with no cuts. It took a long time to get to the market, in various forms, and I suspect the inventor lost the money he spent on patenting it. A current version is here https://www.lakeland.co.uk/70312/PREPR-Safety-Can-Opener, though it isn't as good as previous versions, but I can vouch for its being able to open pilchard cans safely.
    (And it wasn't just the food miles I was concerned about. I noticed, by chance, where the processing took place, the day I heard the World Service exposing slavery in the Thai fish industry, and the opinion of a Thai minister that journalists investigating it should face the death penalty.)
  • Penny SPenny S Shipmate
    And now I'm thinking, is that really what I heard, early in the morning? Definitely the man found the journalists' exposures criminal, definitely deserving punishment (nothing said about trial) but was it really death, or just very long prison sentences? And was it because the Thai government has been trying to end practices and doesn't like publicity suggesting they haven't done anything. A bit of searching suggests it is still going on. Can't find that quote, though.
  • LydaLyda Shipmate
    Penny S wrote: »
    And now I'm thinking, is that really what I heard, early in the morning? Definitely the man found the journalists' exposures criminal, definitely deserving punishment (nothing said about trial) but was it really death, or just very long prison sentences? And was it because the Thai government has been trying to end practices and doesn't like publicity suggesting they haven't done anything. A bit of searching suggests it is still going on. Can't find that quote, though.

    The Thai government has been utilizing the convenient notion that anything critical of the government or its policies is the same as being critical of the King, or lèse majesté. Lèse majesté has been written into Thai law since the early twentieth century, but most recently has been used by serial coup-driven governments to silence their enemies. Those accused are essentially guilty without the benefit of a chance to prove their innocence. And anyone may accuse anyone else of a breach and it must be "investigated".
  • NicoleMRNicoleMR Shipmate
    We just had a patron get his laptop stolen from a table. Sucks big time.
  • FirenzeFirenze Shipmate, Host Emeritus
    edited April 2019
    Coughing. The neuralgia’s been and gone, the sore throat, the howking, the snivelling, the deafness (almost) - but the cough goes on.
  • RossweisseRossweisse Hell Host, 8th Day Host, Glory
    {{{{Firenze}}}}
  • ClimacusClimacus Shipmate
    {{Firenze}}
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