I did that with my old piano! I pointed out that clearance on either side to get it through the front door was all of 2cm total, and that once you got it through the door you had to disconnect a lead downpipe to get it along the path. I said the only other valuables were the children at which point they terminated the call with what I considered unnecessary force
Lovely! Though you should have told him your husband's valuables consisted in your lovely self, and asked anxiously whether or not he thought the handcuffs and manacles were sufficient for safety purposes.
I did repel a double-glazing salesman's cold call by pointing out (in Dutch) that he was phoning a ship, and asking (in heavily-accented English) just where did he think he was going to put a conservatory?
of me really, as my landline number would give no indication as to what sort of property it was serving!
A friend of mine tells of a big company who provide double glazing ringing her brother. The transcript of the phone call approximately went like this:
Brother: Hello
Salesman: Hello this is X from Big Windows Double Glazing. Have you thought about double glazing
Brother: Thanks for the call. Big Windows Double Glazing replaced my windows six months ago
Salesman: Then you will know what high quality double glazing we will provide. Might I interest you in a conservatory
Brother: Did your installers happen to not notice that I live in a second floor flat.
Oh, I want someone to ask me about my skincare regime so that I can tell them I have my face licked nightly by tiny fairy kittens. (I'm pretty sure they wouldn't ask me anything further).
Someone phoned me up, offering "security advice" and asked me if I had valuables in my house! I said yes, I had amassed a large collection of books on my PhD topic, and enthused about said PhD topic. I said that if I assumed each book was worth £5, my library would be worth several thousand. Apparently, books on Scottish Victorian educational policy weren't the sort of valuables he was wanting to give advice about. He asked if my husband had any valuables in the house. Turns out books about my husband's PhD topic (pure mathematics) weren't what he was asking about, either.
I read random titles from my bookcase, saying "this one must be worth at least a tenner!" until he gave up.
NEQ, you're a genius - no wonder you've got a Ph.D.
Sorry for any mix-up. When this software first shows something I just posted, it often looks like it's at the very end of the last page. I don't see any intervening posts, unless I make a point to check afterwards.
Oh, I want someone to ask me about my skincare regime so that I can tell them I have my face licked nightly by tiny fairy kittens. (I'm pretty sure they wouldn't ask me anything further).
Phone conversation a couple of years ago:
Caller: I am ringing you about a car accident you recently had.
Me: What accident was this?
Caller: It was an accident that you had in Cardiff recently.
Me: Where did you get this information?
Caller: It was from the Cardiff accident report, Madam.
Me: I’ve never heard of the Cardiff accident report. Whose report is this?
Caller: The police in Cardiff make this report.
Me: Can you give me more details? When and where in Cardiff was the accident?
Caller (after slight pause): The accident was in Queen Street in Cardiff.
Me: Queen Street in Cardiff is a pedestrianised zone and it would not be possible for me to drive a car on it.
Caller: [dial tone]
Oh, I want someone to ask me about my skincare regime so that I can tell them I have my face licked nightly by tiny fairy kittens. (I'm pretty sure they wouldn't ask me anything further).
Or tell them you're a devotee of fish pedicures. (A real thing. I'll let you look it up, as you like, 'cause IMHO it's kind of gross.)
Oh, I want someone to ask me about my skincare regime so that I can tell them I have my face licked nightly by tiny fairy kittens. (I'm pretty sure they wouldn't ask me anything further).
Or tell them you're a devotee of fish pedicures. (A real thing. I'll let you look it up, as you like, 'cause IMHO it's kind of gross.)
I know about fish pedicures. They can go terribly wrong if you use piranha.
They can go terribly wrong with the usual "harmless" fish, too. E.g. bacterial infections. When I did a quick search last night, I learned that toes have been lost that way.
I needed gin after I spent a total of 2 hours on three different phone calls to straighten out insurance mistake. Letter arrived telling me payment was on hold and told me to call a number to talk to an agent. I called the number as instructed. They kept telling me to call different numbers and putting me on hold because they could not find me in the system, and giving me to a robot voice that told me to pick 1,2,3 non of which were my problem and got me in a loop.. I gave up Finally on the second day I called another number I had on file got through to a human being who fixed problem in less then 2 minutes. Lord in your mercy hear our prayers.
TICTH my own clumsiness gene, which led to me going over on my ankle while fetching the logs in from outside the gate. I have torn all the ligaments and now am laid up on the sofa while poor Mr S waits on me hand and foot (ha!) and I reflect on all the things I should have been doing and now can't
Oh, no, Mrs. S! I hope you improve rapidly and completely.
Thank you Ross - it is much improved, apart from three toes black with bruising and one obstinate point of pain. However in view of everyone else's stoicism I shall button it and not complain here!
Cambers on pavements - my scooter went over trying to avoid a pile of parents picking up their children from the school at the end of our row. I suspect I have pulled muscles in my thigh, it’s very painful.
Cambers on pavements - my scooter went over trying to avoid a pile of parents picking up their children from the school at the end of our row. I suspect I have pulled muscles in my thigh, it’s very painful.
Healing prayers Priscilla. So sorry for the spill.
My V*dafone dongle wasn't working a couple of hours ago, but it is now...
I still have BT to fall back on if necessary, but it's so slooooooooooow...
Daft sods took a week to activate a new sim. What really bugged me was the way that every time I contacted them they were absolutely sure it would be done in a couple of hours. They say whatever they think you want to hear. No interest in fixing things.
Having decided I probably needed advice from an Actual Human™, I went to the Service Canada office yesterday to find a queue a mile long, and an expected waiting time of about two hours (doesn't this suggest that they might need a few more staff?), thought, stuff this for a lark and decided to leave it until Monday morning (it was about 3 in the afternoon, and while they said that once you're in the queue, you'll eventually be served, I couldn't face it).
Then schlepped off to the offices of the moving company to leave in their paperwork* and found that despite a notice on the door saying they were open until 5 (it was quarter to four), they were decidedly shut.
* The e-mail I got from them was a bit ambiguous as to whether scanning and e-mailing would be sufficient or physical copies were needed, so I thought better safe thsn sorry ...
They can be incredibly bouncy. When mine get knocked off my bedside table I sometimes have to enlist the Dragonlets in hunting all around as I can't see without them.
There are online sites for glasses with good prices. You need to know what your prescription is (e.g. 20/40) and the distance between your pupils. (Used to figure out sizing.)
I've had good experiences with one. I just checked, and they still have some glasses priced as low as $6.95 US. I'm not sure if I'm allowed to directly name the site here, but it's the one that starts with Z and sounds Buddhist. If you want a direct name or link, Piglet, please PM me.
It isn't true about the originals turning up when replacements are acquired. The magic has failed with my leather backed Shakespeare (in the house somewhere), and is currently failing with my spare house keys, lost outside the houose somewhere. (Not, fortunately, identifiably linked to my address, but, sadly, attached to a sentimentally valuable leather tag.)
Comments
A friend of mine tells of a big company who provide double glazing ringing her brother. The transcript of the phone call approximately went like this:
Brother: Hello
Salesman: Hello this is X from Big Windows Double Glazing. Have you thought about double glazing
Brother: Thanks for the call. Big Windows Double Glazing replaced my windows six months ago
Salesman: Then you will know what high quality double glazing we will provide. Might I interest you in a conservatory
Brother: Did your installers happen to not notice that I live in a second floor flat.
(As in a joke about academic degrees being BS, More Sh*t (MS), and Ph.D above.)
Sorry for any mix-up. When this software first shows something I just posted, it often looks like it's at the very end of the last page. I don't see any intervening posts, unless I make a point to check afterwards.
Brilliant!
I repeat...
But it has to be said that there are some very funny, and inventive, ideas cropping up!
Caller: I am ringing you about a car accident you recently had.
Me: What accident was this?
Caller: It was an accident that you had in Cardiff recently.
Me: Where did you get this information?
Caller: It was from the Cardiff accident report, Madam.
Me: I’ve never heard of the Cardiff accident report. Whose report is this?
Caller: The police in Cardiff make this report.
Me: Can you give me more details? When and where in Cardiff was the accident?
Caller (after slight pause): The accident was in Queen Street in Cardiff.
Me: Queen Street in Cardiff is a pedestrianised zone and it would not be possible for me to drive a car on it.
Caller: [dial tone]
NO COCOA!
Or tell them you're a devotee of fish pedicures. (A real thing. I'll let you look it up, as you like, 'cause IMHO it's kind of gross.)
Channeling Peter Rabbit's mama?
I know about fish pedicures. They can go terribly wrong if you use piranha.
I'll get my coat.
They can go terribly wrong with the usual "harmless" fish, too. E.g. bacterial infections. When I did a quick search last night, I learned that toes have been lost that way.
{Throws soft pillow at Piglet.}
I still have BT to fall back on if necessary, but it's so slooooooooooow...
Could send you American paperwork, if you like.
Daft sods took a week to activate a new sim. What really bugged me was the way that every time I contacted them they were absolutely sure it would be done in a couple of hours. They say whatever they think you want to hear. No interest in fixing things.
GK, you're too kind!
Having decided I probably needed advice from an Actual Human™, I went to the Service Canada office yesterday to find a queue a mile long, and an expected waiting time of about two hours (doesn't this suggest that they might need a few more staff?), thought, stuff this for a lark and decided to leave it until Monday morning (it was about 3 in the afternoon, and while they said that once you're in the queue, you'll eventually be served, I couldn't face it).
Then schlepped off to the offices of the moving company to leave in their paperwork* and found that despite a notice on the door saying they were open until 5 (it was quarter to four), they were decidedly shut.
* The e-mail I got from them was a bit ambiguous as to whether scanning and e-mailing would be sufficient or physical copies were needed, so I thought better safe thsn sorry ...
I'll maybe bring my Tablet and try and do the Grauniad crossword, but what's the betting they haven't got wi-fi?
The substitutes I have found are very unsatisfactory.
There are online sites for glasses with good prices. You need to know what your prescription is (e.g. 20/40) and the distance between your pupils. (Used to figure out sizing.)
I've had good experiences with one. I just checked, and they still have some glasses priced as low as $6.95 US. I'm not sure if I'm allowed to directly name the site here, but it's the one that starts with Z and sounds Buddhist.
Good luck!
I had a feeling something like that must have happened when they didn't seem to be anywhere I'd been.
!YAY! I've had things wander off on their own.