Alexander Boris de Pfeffel Johnson

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  • BTW, what's all this I hear from the rumour mill (aka the Meeja) about our Lord Protector (a) paying a visit to Italy for a hearing-test, and (b) being dumped by Carrie?

    Enquiring minds need to know...
  • PigletPiglet All Saints Host, Circus Host
    Probably going to get further instructions from Mr. Lebedev.

    @Boogie - thanks for that link! :mrgreen:
  • Perugia Airport says he was there. Number 10 denies it.
    Who are you going to believe - Perugia Airport or Boris Johnson's government?
  • But...I thought the Lord Protector only took instructions from ConDom the Farsighted!

    How on earth can the poor sap cope with two puppet-masters? Why, his strings might get tangled...
  • A spokesperson for Westminster Cathedral has said that young Wilfred was baptised at a private ceremony while Mr Johnson is reported to have been in Italy. I wouldn't trust No 10 to issue a truthful statement about what day it is, but the Church collaborates that.
  • BroJamesBroJames Purgatory Host, 8th Day Host
    I hope you mean ‘corroborates’.
  • Quite - but what was the Lord Protector doing that was so important as to make him miss his own son's baptism?

    (If the story is true, I hasten to add...).
  • A spokesperson for Westminster Cathedral has said that young Wilfred was baptised at a private ceremony while Mr Johnson is reported to have been in Italy. I wouldn't trust No 10 to issue a truthful statement about what day it is, but the Church collaborates that.

    The timeline is a bit more complicated than that - and there's time to fly from the UK to Italy either side of any baptism.
  • Maybe, but that's not quite the point - which is, I think, what was the Lord Protector doing in Italy, if indeed he went there?
  • Getting instructions/trading conditions from a flying visit with Pompeo?
  • Bishops FingerBishops Finger Shipmate
    edited September 2020
    The possibilities are Legion...
    :scream:

    Do we know where ConDom was at the time?
  • Maybe, but that's not quite the point - which is, I think, what was the Lord Protector doing in Italy, if indeed he went there?

    Lebedev owns a castle there, and Johnson made a previous visit there while at the Foreign Office (he also slipped his protection officers to do so).
  • Ah - I see. The plot thickens...
    :confused:
  • The airport are now saying the confused him with Tony Blair.
  • Hmm. Mr Blair might have something to say about that...
    :confounded:

    BoJo is a tad fatter, for a start, and has hair like Worzel Gummidge...
  • Surely Dominic C. would have advised him not to go anywhere near Westminster Cathedral? Oh, wait . . . wasn't he at Westminster Abbey for the Battle of Britain service? Unless that was a Spectral Projection, and the real Boris was in Perugia? or vice versa, perhaps . . . I think I'd better go and lie down in the shade.
  • Is there a *real* Boris?

    Or is he just a figment of ConDom's diseased imagination?
  • BTW, what's all this I hear from the rumour mill (aka the Meeja) about our Lord Protector (a) paying a visit to Italy for a hearing-test, and (b) being dumped by Carrie?

    Enquiring minds need to know...
    There's been quite a lot on the first today but I hadn't heard about the second. The first has been denied but I'd ask the same question as to which source is more credible as @Dafyd.

    On Wilfred Symonds's baptism, are either of his parents RC?


  • As Doublethink says, Perugia Airport has now said they were mistaken.
  • Wilfred's baptism is cloaked in secrecy...
    https://telegraph.co.uk/news/2020/09/13/boris-johnson-carrie-symondss-son-baptised-beautiful-ceremony/

    As for Perugia Airport, it may be that people there need an eyesight test...
    :wink:
  • Apparently Boris was baptised an RC (his mother was RC) but confirmedas an Anglican. So says the Times.
  • Ah, so the 'beautiful ceremony' might have been in a church of either denomination...
  • Maybe it was the Church of Cummings?
  • Just as long as there's no mention of Second Cummings.
  • It was, after all, our glorious Lord Protector who himself Rose From The Bed On The Third Day earlier this year...
    :open_mouth:

    What one makes of that, I dread to think...
  • According to today's Times, the People's Choice has told Parliament that the army could be brought in to assist the police in case 'more firepower' is needed. Doesn't the idiot ever stop to think about the implications of the words he is using?
  • I don't think he's bothered to listen to the Police top brass, either - I'm sure I saw a news item where they said they would NOT accept the military as 'backfill'...

    ...though the idea of using the military to guard strategic sites (such as the Lord Protector's bunker) whilst the Police deal with the civil unrest does have a certain logic to it.
  • chrisstileschrisstiles Shipmate
    edited September 2020
    Eirenist wrote: »
    According to today's Times, the People's Choice has told Parliament that the army could be brought in to assist the police in case 'more firepower' is needed. Doesn't the idiot ever stop to think about the implications of the words he is using?

    I think on the one hand, there's a certain constituency in the UK that gets excited at the thought of the army being called out. On the other hand, there's also the fact that after over 10 years of austerity, the army is one of the few bits of surge capacity the state has left (they also had to cover in 2012 when G4S screwed up the security for the olympics).
  • The average squaddie is thicker and more right wing and more racist than the average copper.

    So I'm sure we're all really looking forward to that.
  • Indeed. Welcome to Minsk (Mk 2)...
    :disappointed:
  • Gee DGee D Shipmate
    edited September 2020
    Sorry, posted on the wrong thread.
  • But the army will be needed to man the roadblocks around Kent, won't they. Or will the Border Patrol be doing that? But of course, they'll be trying to stop the food smugglers.
  • Eirenist wrote: »
    But the army will be needed to man the roadblocks around Kent, won't they. Or will the Border Patrol be doing that? But of course, they'll be trying to stop the food smugglers.

    Maybe someone should build a wall.....?
  • China has a Wall, and no problem with Mexicans. Clearly walls work!
  • It occurs to me that Disraeli's gibe at Gladstone, as 'inebriated by the exuberance of his own verbosity', fits Boris Johnson like the proverbial glove, though Gladstone made rather more sense.
  • Bishops FingerBishops Finger Shipmate
    edited September 2020
    As an inhabitant of Kent, I have to say that I think the *government* may be on the right track in setting up internal Border Posts.

    The next thing they need to do is to get France to annex Kent, and turn it into one of the Departments of the Republic.

    That way, we get to stay in the EU, we don't get queues of lorries (they'll all be clogging up the roads in London, Birmingham etc.), and we get decent chips frites...

    We'd also get a government that speaks more coherent English than the present Gang of Gobshites.

    O, and there won't be queues of lorries going into England, because no-one will want to trade with you lot any more. They'll supply our shops with superior European produce, but won't bother to go any further.
  • As an inhabitant of Kent, I have to say that I think the *government* may be on the right track in setting up internal Border Posts.

    The next thing they need to do is to get France to annex Kent, and turn it into one of the Departments of the Republic.

    That way, we get to stay in the EU, we don't get queues of lorries (they'll all be clogging up the roads in London, Birmingham etc.), and we get decent chips frites...

    Yes please, as long as we can also get decent fish too. Although I am now resident in the Midlands, Kent being somewhat expensive for house buying, as I was born in Kent and so were my parents, I should qualify for a Kentish passport.
  • Bishops FingerBishops Finger Shipmate
    edited September 2020
    Yes, and we shall be glad to welcome you back at any time.
    :wink:

    Poissons should be no problem, as the English will not be permitted to fish in The Sleeve any more.
  • Much talk of Kexit on Twitter, but surely Kent has already Kexited, will there be a push for re-entry to the EU?
  • Yes, alas, we have Kexited (that bloody English *government* again), which is why I advocate simply becoming part of France.

    We were an independent-ish Kingdom once, quite a while ago, but I don't think we could manage it again just now.
  • Furtive GanderFurtive Gander Shipmate
    edited September 2020
    Won't the same apply logic apply as to Scotland - struggling to break free from a mismanaged country with a dying economy and hoping for a successful independent future as part of the EU? How to proceed?
  • Step by step.
  • Yes, and we shall be glad to welcome you back at any time.
    :wink:

    Poissons should be no problem, as the English will not be permitted to fish in The Sleeve any more.

    Oooo! Me too! My mum was born in Kent, so I must qualify, surely?

    (I know I live in Canada now but having Kentish citizenship shouldn't be a problem with that.)
  • Yes, alas, we have Kexited (that bloody English *government* again), which is why I advocate simply becoming part of France.

    We were an independent-ish Kingdom once, quite a while ago, but I don't think we could manage it again just now.

    Well no. Everyone knows that English domination is all that prevents the Kentish Men and the Men of Kent going to war once more.
  • I do so hope that you yourself are not one of those dastardly *Kentish Men * (ha!), blackguards one and all...
    :angry:

    *ahem*
    Do please carry on discussing the Lord Protector.
  • PigletPiglet All Saints Host, Circus Host
    Pendragon wrote: »
    ... as I was born in Kent and so were my parents, I should qualify for a Kentish passport.
    But will it be blue? :naughty:
  • No, I think it should be of a pale yellow-green colour, the same as Hops...

    Seriously, though, the very idea of some sort of border between Kent and England is yet another completely loopy wheeze from the Mad Brexshitter, aka our Lord Protector (and/or from his equally doolally minion, Gove).
  • Just try reading the comments posted on articles on the Daily Mail website. It is then that you realise just how many crazy and highly ignorant people there are out there and that they make Johnson look almost sane and intelligent in comparison.
  • Bromley counts doesn't it? It was Kent when I was born. I am very envious of my friend with an Irish passport that he obtained as he was born in Northern Island when his father worked there. As far as I'm aware he left as a baby and has not been back.
  • Hmm. OK, Bromley can come in (it's still 'Kent' postally, I think, or bits of it are, at any rate)...

    Several of the Border Posts may be in that area, as it's close to England.

    My brother, sister, and I all qualify for Irish citizenship - my sister is sorting out the paperwork for all 3 of us - but I'm not likely to be able to move to the R of I, alas.
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