A professor asked his students to sign a statement that they had not received any outside assistance on the exam.
One anxious student said, "I prayed to God for help. Does that count?"
The professor glanced at the completed exam and replied, "Go ahead and sign. God did not assist you."
I don't know where this came from, but found it lurking in a dark corner of the computer. It must be quite old:
MEP Glenys Kinnock, wife of former Labour
leader Neil, was telling friends that she flew back to
Cardiff from Brussels recently when, on chatting to
the stewardess, she discovered that the two cabin
crew, the second pilot, and the captain were all
female. It was the first time she had been aboard
with an all female crew, and thought it an excellent
advance. So she asked the stewardess if she could
go forward to the cockpit to talk to the crew. "Oh no,
Mrs Kinnock," said the stewardess, "We don't call it
that any more."
A man had been selected to receive the first brain transplant.
He was waiting in pre-op when the surgeon came to him.
"Sir, you get to select the type of brain, we will be transplanting in you."
The man thought that was a good plan. He asked what his options were.
The surgeon replied, "The first brain is from an engineer. It will cost $100 an ounce.
The second brain is from an astrophysicist. It will cost $200 an ounce.
The third brain is from a politician. It will cost $1000 an ounce."
"Wait a minute," said the man, asking, "Why does the brain of a politician cost a $1000 an ounce?"
"Well," said the surgeon, "Engineers and astrophysicists are quite common, but do you know how many politicians we had to go through just to find an ounce?"
Comments
One anxious student said, "I prayed to God for help. Does that count?"
The professor glanced at the completed exam and replied, "Go ahead and sign. God did not assist you."
MEP Glenys Kinnock, wife of former Labour
leader Neil, was telling friends that she flew back to
Cardiff from Brussels recently when, on chatting to
the stewardess, she discovered that the two cabin
crew, the second pilot, and the captain were all
female. It was the first time she had been aboard
with an all female crew, and thought it an excellent
advance. So she asked the stewardess if she could
go forward to the cockpit to talk to the crew. "Oh no,
Mrs Kinnock," said the stewardess, "We don't call it
that any more."
Yes. They're a leg end.
‘Cause he only has little legs.
He was waiting in pre-op when the surgeon came to him.
"Sir, you get to select the type of brain, we will be transplanting in you."
The man thought that was a good plan. He asked what his options were.
The surgeon replied, "The first brain is from an engineer. It will cost $100 an ounce.
The second brain is from an astrophysicist. It will cost $200 an ounce.
The third brain is from a politician. It will cost $1000 an ounce."
"Wait a minute," said the man, asking, "Why does the brain of a politician cost a $1000 an ounce?"
"Well," said the surgeon, "Engineers and astrophysicists are quite common, but do you know how many politicians we had to go through just to find an ounce?"