Ooh, they do look useful! My mum forgot her flannels when we went away and ended up using wipes. Thanks everyone for your advice, I will have a chat with Age UK. Mum did have a care needs assessment and financial assessment a year or two back; the current arrangement is that the county council pay the bill for the private care agency (which Mum sourced herself), and then we have to pay the Council the full amount. We're hoping that we can now get an updated financial assessment after which they will cover part of the cost.
Sunday night, my 90 year old father had a nightmare that he was paralyzed. It completely through his Monday off, and both my sister and I could hear the fear in his voice when we spoke to him on Monday.
It sounds like he might have had an episode of Sleep Paralysis. It is I understand coming out of REM sleep but really awake. If so I do hope it is a one time event as it must feel very scary.
Just back up from Dad's place. Goodness, he is forgetful. Oh well, it is handy, given how many repeats of 'The Chase' he watches on freeview.
With this in mind I fired up the 'I know you're busy and have a lot of friends, but at some point in the future, Dad, if you thought about moving closer to me or M_ (my sis) - well, that could be something we could look into together' conversation for the first time. He picked my sis's location as being somewhat more appealing (it stereotypically is) immediately. I have no idea what she'll make of this if he brings it up.
If you do think of moving your dad closer to either you or your sister do try to have honest conversations about suitable places to live @mark_in_manchester . My brother really wanted mum to live near him but he thought a retirement flat would be fine, by then mum really needed a care home. In the end it didn't happen as my brother became seriously ill and I moved mum to a care home near me.
My brother had wanted to move her about six years prior to this, but I thought she was managing OK in her familiar environment with lots of friends around. Would it have been better to move her earlier, I really don't know.
If you do think of moving your dad closer to either you or your sister do try to have honest conversations about suitable places to live @mark_in_manchester . My brother really wanted mum to live near him but he thought a retirement flat would be fine, by then mum really needed a care home. In the end it didn't happen as my brother became seriously ill and I moved mum to a care home near me.
My brother had wanted to move her about six years prior to this, but I thought she was managing OK in her familiar environment with lots of friends around. Would it have been better to move her earlier, I really don't know.
The bold bit - that seems to be my Dad, most of the time. But I guess it's not a bad idea to plant ideas good and early, so there's more chance of a timely intervention if and when it gets a bit more urgent. Or one can wait for a crisis - which sometimes happens anyway, and is certainly a way to make changes happen.
The way things are, I think I'll hang fire and see how other bits of the family react to all this. I wouldn't push against others' preferences to bring Dad here; but I certainly would if no-one else wanted that move to be in their direction, and I reckon we could make something at least OK out of it.
Oh, goodness. On the latest visit to the South East, Dad had thrown all his meds away. That's a new one - confusion resulting in a daft action, rather than just worsening forgetfulness. Well, hopefully we are on our way to a 'dosette box' prepared by the pharmacy - and at least now I know the meds are long-term, preventative things and not acute so if he goes off them for a bit I don't think anything immediately bad will happen.
It's a lot easier when I am there - I can head off all sorts of minor things from becoming anything at all, whereas left to fester for up to a month, they tend to grow. Meanwhile Dad has started making ominous noises about 'female company' again. @Sarasa 's Mum's famous tour guide came to mind, especially when he started talking about 'age difference'. With luck it is one of the helpers at the council lunch club, who will be used to fending off confused old men. Or perhaps he has found someone very much older...
@mark_in_manchester , my mum got in such a muddle with her medication and hated dosette boxes so much that her GP and I decided to stop everything. She was on nothing critical and came to no great harm. When she went into care they were re-instated.
It might be worth checking out your dad's 'female company' just to ensure that she isn't someone trying to scam him, though of course like my mum it might be just a lot of wishful thinking and an over active imagination.
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With this in mind I fired up the 'I know you're busy and have a lot of friends, but at some point in the future, Dad, if you thought about moving closer to me or M_ (my sis) - well, that could be something we could look into together' conversation for the first time. He picked my sis's location as being somewhat more appealing (it stereotypically is) immediately. I have no idea what she'll make of this if he brings it up.
I'd like to be a fly on that wall...
My brother had wanted to move her about six years prior to this, but I thought she was managing OK in her familiar environment with lots of friends around. Would it have been better to move her earlier, I really don't know.
It's a good job she didn't choose this last weekend to visit.
Oh I don't know!
If she likes that, she might be overjoyed if you offer her a holiday in Provincetown on Cape Cod. Marvellous place!
The bold bit - that seems to be my Dad, most of the time. But I guess it's not a bad idea to plant ideas good and early, so there's more chance of a timely intervention if and when it gets a bit more urgent. Or one can wait for a crisis - which sometimes happens anyway, and is certainly a way to make changes happen.
The way things are, I think I'll hang fire and see how other bits of the family react to all this. I wouldn't push against others' preferences to bring Dad here; but I certainly would if no-one else wanted that move to be in their direction, and I reckon we could make something at least OK out of it.
It's a lot easier when I am there - I can head off all sorts of minor things from becoming anything at all, whereas left to fester for up to a month, they tend to grow. Meanwhile Dad has started making ominous noises about 'female company' again. @Sarasa 's Mum's famous tour guide came to mind, especially when he started talking about 'age difference'. With luck it is one of the helpers at the council lunch club, who will be used to fending off confused old men. Or perhaps he has found someone very much older...
It might be worth checking out your dad's 'female company' just to ensure that she isn't someone trying to scam him, though of course like my mum it might be just a lot of wishful thinking and an over active imagination.