Chasing the black dog

1101113151630

Comments

  • Wishing you a rest, and some proper sleep, Climacus.

    Today is proving better for me, so far. (Also, I’ve been watching a new Louis Theroux documentary about new mothers with anxiety, post partum psychosis and other serious mental illnesses. It’s very well made, and I’m so glad someone made it. It’s also cautiously hopeful, which is nice.)
  • DooneDoone Shipmate
    Yes, indeed 🙏
  • ClimacusClimacus Shipmate
    Good news, Jemima; and that documentary sounds very interesting. And a necessary look at a troubling area.

    Continued best wishes and my thoughts to all here; those posting and those that can't.

    Thanks for the wishes all. I could not see my doctor til next week [still keeping that appointment] so I went off to my medical centre's emergency department [NZers: is that a usual thing?], no waiting [!] and spoke to a very friendly and helpful doctor who listened to my ramblings [I am so mentally exhausted yet buzzing, so I speak at a million-miles-an-hour and jump from topic to topic -- though he was rather attractive so perhaps I kept talking to keep him there :lol: ] and gave me a prescription for sleeping pills, a referral for various tests [lithium, thyroid] and some advice. Thanks be to God for medics.
  • ClimacusClimacus Shipmate
    I just got a text from the medical centre. I walked out without paying. Not sure whether to :scream: or :joy:

    I suppose it shows my state...
  • {{Climacus}}

    Thanks be to God for medics, indeed (including the very attractive Hungarian consultant I saw after my last MRI scan...).

    No, I am not a Dirty Old Git, but still alert enough to appreciate Beauty when I see it (in both men and women, I may add).

    As for walking out without paying, at least we don't have that trauma in Ukland.

    Yet.
    :grimace:
  • Well done on getting to the emergency dept, and seeing the dishy doctor. I hope the pills help and the blood tests prove insightful.
  • Simon ToadSimon Toad Shipmate
    Just caught up on this mate. Ups are shit. So are downs. Glad the services are there to support you. I hope you get well very soon.
  • HuiaHuia Shipmate
    I can usually get an appointment the next day, My doctor only works half-days except for Monday.

    If it's urgent I will try seeing a nurse or going to the Emergency centre which costs heaps. If I was gushing blood or extremely urgent I'd call 111 and ACC would cover the ambulance cost if it was an accident otherwise I'd pay (around $60).
  • Simon ToadSimon Toad Shipmate
    So fantastic that you sought help Climacus. Perspective is brilliant.
  • Simon Toad wrote: »
    So fantastic that you sought help Climacus. Perspective is brilliant.

    This.

    I hope you get some quality sleep.
  • CathscatsCathscats Shipmate
    Prayers for @Climacus @Jemima the 9th and the Firenzes.
  • DooneDoone Shipmate
    Yes, praying for all.
  • Prayers for all in need
  • Amen.

    In Ukland, we still (at the moment, anyway) don't have to pay upfront for emergency treatment.

    Please God, don't let Sauron the Great Bojo, or The Unspeakable Garbage, deny us of this Socialist-inspired privilege...
    :grimace:
  • ClimacusClimacus Shipmate
    edited May 2019
    Amen.

    The ACC coverage here in NZ (no fault coverage for almost any accident you are in, I believe) Huia mentioned, paid for via income taxes, petrol levies, etc. (I think...still learning about life here!) seems to me something that should be replicated more widely. Though equally hoping it is never needed.

    Thank you all. A better sleep last night. And feeling a bit calmer. My thyroid tests came back (another trans-Tasman difference...here they uploaded a comment on my results to the patient portal so I could see them; in Oz I had to see the doctor); the lithium levels are exactly on the lower therapeutic level, so we'll see what the doctor says about that on Wednesday.

    My warmest thoughts -- as the sun beginst to peek over the horizon down here, and the birds sing -- to all in darkness: whatever form and whatever intensity. God bless.
  • PigletPiglet All Saints Host, Circus Host
    Glad to gear you're feeling a bit better, Climacus - I hope they can sort out your thyroid with the minimum of fuss.
  • MaryLouiseMaryLouise Purgatory Host, 8th Day Host
    You're in my thoughts, Climacus.
  • HeavenlyannieHeavenlyannie Shipmate
    edited May 2019
    Has there been a change in your diet on moving to NZ? My lithium levels dropped when I started dating my husband and his cooking contained more salt! (As you probably know, water and salt intake affects lithium levels).
  • finelinefineline Kerygmania Host, 8th Day Host
    As well as diet, is the water different? Hard and soft water make a difference. Hard water has minerals like magnesium and calcium. Soft water contains more sodium. (I've been googling about this quite a bit recently, as I realise I seem to have more energy in hard water areas - even though salt increases my energy and I take salt tablets to increase my blood pressure).
  • ClimacusClimacus Shipmate
    Thank you both. I shall check out the water, fineline; thank you.

    Heavenlyannie: I never thought about it but I did change my diet. I am, for 12 months while I settle in, living in a studio complex with shared kitchen facilities. Due to my misanthropic tendencies :wink: , I bought an air fryer and use it in my room -- and changed what I cooked accordingly. I've also been drinking coffee as if it were my last day on earth -- which I know has an impact on lithium levels. Thank you.
  • DormouseDormouse Shipmate
    Did anyone watch the BBC programme with Nadiya Hussein (she of Great British Bake Off success) talked about and explored her anxiety? I found it very interesting and moving. There are two others with Alastair Campbell and an actor whose name I have temporarily forgotten. On the i-player, if you can access that.
  • David Hare - and yes, I mentioned them on the positive masculine thread
  • I’ll check it out.
  • ClimacusClimacus Shipmate
    After having yesterday and today off, I have a doctor's note for the rest of the week off. My bipolar mania seems on clear display according to him. Oh well. Time to rest.
  • PigletPiglet All Saints Host, Circus Host
    Take care of yourself, Climacus, and rest well!
  • Wishing you a restorative rest, Climacus.
  • ClimacusClimacus Shipmate
    edited May 2019
    Thank you both. Apart from some crazy antics (shopping for Icelandic jumpers...in Iceland^: because, you know, with winter on its way here I do need one and one from a shop here won't do!! :confused: ; obsessing over Russia's Eurovision song and playing it until the neighbours move out...) the rest and quiet is helping.


    ^ online, I add; though I wouldn't put booking a ticket beyond me... :wink:
  • ClimacusClimacus Shipmate
    BTW: if anyone wants to laugh or comment on the above, please do so; you will in no way offend me. I can see the silliness currently -- even if I don't seem to be able to stop it currently.
  • Simon ToadSimon Toad Shipmate
    Mate, I'm really sorry you're on such an up at the moment. I love your insight though. I think it's brilliant that you understand what's happening to you, and that you are doing what's necessary to get well, even if it is not quite working as intended right now.
  • MaryLouiseMaryLouise Purgatory Host, 8th Day Host
    (Climacus)
  • ClimacusClimacus Shipmate
    Thanks Simon & MaryLouise.

    And my love & best wishes to all struggling at the moment.
  • ClimacusClimacus Shipmate
    Taken from another thread...
    Would it be a good idea to put your bank cards in a place where it would require considerable effort to use them? FWIW, I once saw the idea of fending off impulse buys by putting your cards in a tupperware box of water and then sticking it in the freezer. By time you’ve defrosted them, you may have changed your mind about what you were planning to buy.

    (Unless you’re rolling in so much cash you don’t know what to do with it, in which case (a) feel free to send me some :wink: and (b) go ahead and splurge on that ticket to Iceland)

    Ha ha. :smile:

    Good ideas; thank you very much. Perhaps leaving my credit card in my locked drawer at work may be helpful too; I tend not to shop at work. Thanks again.

    I also now have a picture of me taking a frozen tupperware container to the local Ferrari dealership and desperately trying to get it close enough to make a contactless payment!
  • la vie en rougela vie en rouge Circus Host, 8th Day Host
    Glad you found it, this thread is indeed where I meant it to go :wink:

    Brain fart apparently.
  • PigletPiglet All Saints Host, Circus Host
    Continuing the Iceland tangent, if you get the chance to go (and you can afford it), take it - it's a wonderful place, and just going there for a holiday will do you the world of good.

    (That's my experience anyway - YMMV)
  • Climacus wrote: »
    Thank you both. Apart from some crazy antics (shopping for Icelandic jumpers...in Iceland^: because, you know, with winter on its way here I do need one and one from a shop here won't do!! :confused: ; obsessing over Russia's Eurovision song and playing it until the neighbours move out...) the rest and quiet is helping.


    ^ online, I add; though I wouldn't put booking a ticket beyond me... :wink:

    I’m another who does obsessive shopping when manic. I have very strict online spending rules!
    Have a restful break.
  • ClimacusClimacus Shipmate
    Thanks Annie. The doctor was quite intrigued as to what I purchased. It is a common symptom. I hope you are going well.

    Piglet: I did take myself there for my 40th a few years ago, and completely concur. Wonderful place. I went in March and if funds allow I'd lile to go back on my 50th for summer to see the difference.

    I did buy a mainly white jumper from The Handknitter's Association while there, so I had one. My blue one arrived today. 1 week! Faster shipping than from Oz... I shall use it for formal occasions. :smiley:
  • PigletPiglet All Saints Host, Circus Host
    We went for D's 40th (which fell in December quite a few years ago) and loved it so much we went back for mine (February six years later).

    We haven't been able to afford to go back since, but it's on the bucket list if we ever can - we'll try and make it in summer next time, although it was wonderful even in winter when there was only a few hours of daylight.
  • I ordered some warm boots from English supplier a couple of months ago. Order was placed Monday evening here and courier arrived with them early Friday evening of same week.
  • Last week was a mental health week in the UK, which meant the BBC broadcast a number of programmes, as mentioned above by @Dormouse, including the aforementioned Nadiya: Anxiety and Me and David Harewood: Psychosis and Me about a melt down that placed him a psychiatric ward in his 20s, those experiences and what it was like. The last programme in this series went out on Tuesday, Alastair Campbell: Depression and Me. There have been other programmes linked into this: Louis Theroux interviewing mothers with mental health problems in Mothers on the Edge, Prince William with footballers discussing mental health, A Royal Team Talk: Tackling Mental Health and a programme looking at PTSD in ex-army personnel. I mentioned some of these on the Positive Masculinity thread in Purgatory.

    The Alastair Campbell programme explored various ways of understanding and dealing with depression. The one he found most useful was a jam jar analogy, which showed our genetic propensity to mental illness as already in a jam jar that we are born with. We fill that jar up with stress and experiences and if it gets too full we become depressed or suffer from mental health problems. But, we can increase the capacity of the jam jar by adding rings to the neck of things like social support, exercise, healthy eating and all those things that can improve our mental health.
  • Simon ToadSimon Toad Shipmate
    I saw bits of the Dave Harewood show via facebook. Powerful stuff. I want to watch more of that series. Usually I run a million miles from those shows because they stress me out. It was just that I saw Harewood's face and it made me stop to see what he was saying.
  • ClimacusClimacus Shipmate
    Would people here be upset^ if I ask what seeing others talk about depression, anxiety, etc. does for them?

    I realise I am here on a thread reading about people's struggles, but I [and I in no way mean this offensively -- I'm coming from a slightly different angle than Simon's stress above] find them most unhelpful. I am very happy they help others; I just do not get the benefit others speak of. Is it "awareness"? Is it taking tips like CK mentioned above? Is it knowing you're not alone? Some, all or any of the above?

    Again, I am not criticising. I am asking in a no-doubt clumsy way. Because I am one of those weird freaks who is not usually uplifted/helped by mental health stories*.


    ^ if so, 1001 apologies
    * other stories, yes, for some reason -- love, love, love Outlook on the World Service as I go to bed...
  • For me @Climacus, it challenges the persistent voice of my depression and anxiety, which is that I am alone, isolated in dealing with it. Hearing the stories from others challenges this voice, and also demonstrates that my empathy still functions, even if it is frozen and overwhelmed by my current state.
  • I love your humour and approach, Climacus, you have really made me smile today.
    I feel my approach to what other people find useful depends on my relationship with them - so when a close friend said she was finding counselling & yoga useful, I took that on board. Other people seem a bit too far removed to be helpful, if that makes sense. Though I agree a bit with Thunderbunk about making one feel less alone.
    Some of the awareness stuff is no doubt useful, (I thought the Louis Theroux programme was great, and was glad they were tackling an issue I haven’t really seen presented before, esp since I really wasn’t well after my first 2 kids were born, I think I had PND which was missed, twice). But away from the crisis end, I suppose I want to say that OCD isn’t the most interesting thing about me, or the thing I want people to associate with me. It’s just a pain in the arse, and I’d like it to go away. :smiley:
  • Ooh, which reminds me. Apologies for the double post.
    Did my “homework” at work today, which in this instance involved not checking something I’d usually check. It was ok! I am much relieved.
  • Well done Jemima the 9th!
    I am regularly contacted by distressed student with mental health challenges and am always open about having bipolar disorder myself in response. Their reaction is generally one of relief but also encouragement as I have managed to achieve what they are seeking to achieve (a degree and successful career) despite my challenges. It also enables me to support them appropriately and negotiate approaches to study which might empower them to become independent learners. As a former nurse I am very aware of the importance of openness and trust in establishing care relationships and so apply this to my role as lecturer.
    I also mention my bipolar disorder in my classroom and online tutorials and the response is fascinating, with amazed students thinking I am ‘brave’ (!) and then opening up about their own challenges. As someone who lectures in health and social care, removing the stigma of mental health is one of my key goals. So I tend to advertise mine (hmm, perhaps that’s the hypomania talking...!).
  • That is brilliantly put, Heavenlyannie, thank you.
    I tend to advertise my miscarriage as I felt at the time it was not much talked about, perhaps slightly more now. It felt like a good thing to do to bring the experience out into the open somehow.
  • Yes, we discuss the hidden grieving of miscarriage in my death and dying module, including the overlooked grieving of fathers.

    I have the benefit of working in a field sympathetic to mental health challenges, in a university which contains the word ‘open’ in it’s name. But I know that not everyone has that luxury of support.
  • FredegundFredegund Shipmate
    I'm going to regret posting this, but I've got to put it somewhere, Chilperic is still in China, L1 &2 could do without this...
    I can't watch/read about other people's mental health issues and I don't know why. Or maybe it's that I'm on my own with my Black Dog, came off the medication as a result of a flu virus, haven't seen the doctor since, and have had nothing but job rejections. It's hard to believe that once I had a career. I think people got on with me. And now - nothing. And without additional funding the dream of my own business has gone. Just like that.
    Oh sod it. I'm going to find the gin and have a damn good cry.
    Sorry folks. Sorry I spoke.
  • I’m sorry things are so difficult, Fredegund. I hope the cry helps. I’m not sorry you spoke, not at all.
  • FirenzeFirenze Shipmate, Host Emeritus
    Don’t be sorry. Fuck it, we’ve been there.

    It’s just where you are now, not the whole you.

    Get back to the doctor, take the pills, whatever - it’s no more a moral failing to knock back a few diazepam than to slurp Night Nurse.
Sign In or Register to comment.