Chasing the black dog

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Comments

  • ClimacusClimacus Shipmate
    Best wishes from the Antipodes, Martin.
  • Best wishes from me too, Martin. I was there for the last few weeks (as I always seem to be in February) but seem to have found my way back on to solid ground - I hope you soon join me there.
  • MaryLouiseMaryLouise Purgatory Host, 8th Day Host
    *waves back to Martin while treading water*
  • DooneDoone Shipmate
    Mmm, it’s a slog trying to keep from going under at present. Keep afloat Martin and everyone else here 🙋🏼‍♀️
  • la vie en rougela vie en rouge Circus Host, 8th Day Host
    Having a little moment in the slough of despond here...

    I have what is, all things considered, a fairly mild case of PTSD. Mostly I'm fine but for reasons unknown, my brain has decided to mug me for the last couple of days. Sad face. :cry:
  • Lily PadLily Pad Shipmate
    Welcome to the family of mixed up minds. :) I mean that in the nicest way, of course. Be nice to yourself and remember that real rest is valuable.
  • MaryLouiseMaryLouise Purgatory Host, 8th Day Host
    (la vie en rouge)
  • DooneDoone Shipmate
    Virtual hugs La Vie
  • LVER, I had EMDR for PTSD, and it was amazing! I didn't think I'd ever be free of it, then I had the EMDR and suddenly I was emerging blinking into a brighter world.
  • PigletPiglet All Saints Host, Circus Host
    {{{La Vie}}}
  • ClimacusClimacus Shipmate
    {{lver}}
  • la vie en rouge - it's possibly because it's the anniversary of a particularly difficult period on that whole messy journey last year (says another one who had a fairly torrid time this time last year and hasn't found the last few weeks that easy).
  • To echo Curiosity Killed for years after a particular event, maybe even to this day, I have a difficult spell right at the start of May. I certainly do not recall the precise day but my mood dips at that point of the year.
  • I think this is possibly not an uncommon experience.

    In my case, I find August a particularly difficult and depressing month (even if the Weather is good!) simply because a number of traumatic events in my life all took place at this time of (different) years.

    The brain/memory/mind/soul/spirit absorbs these things, and offers them up for inspection at the appropriate (or inappropriate) time!

    {{Gallic Hug for LVER}}
  • Yes, March does it for me. Although different years, my parents died two weeks apart in actual date of the month and that always catches me. Add in grandmother’s birthday for extra effect. We were very close. A couple more minor events and this year the mosque slaughters in Christchurch.
  • PigletPiglet All Saints Host, Circus Host
    edited March 2019
    February is the one for me: my brother-in-law, father and a favourite cousin all died in February (my dad and the cousin on consecutive days last year). To cap it, my dad and b-i-l both died shortly after their own birthdays (and within a week of mine).
  • Not to out-Piglet Piglet, but my grandmother died on my 21st birthday, the news being broken to us at the party.....
    :grimace:
  • Hugs all round.
    BF - what dreadful timing!

  • Well, yes - but obviously the poor lady couldn't help it. AFAICT, she was took poorly in the morning, went to hospital, and died quite suddenly in the evening. She was 85.....a sad blow, nevertheless, and her daughter (My Old Mum) died in another August, too, and her funeral was on my 53rd birthday! Double whammy, or what?
  • I don't like April - Dad's birthday, mine, then early May his death, and Mum's on the anniversary of his funeral.
  • ClimacusClimacus Shipmate
    {{ Hugs across the oceans, or land/straits for those in NZ, to all those currently struggling }}
  • Thanks, Climacus. All {{hugs}}, for whatever reason, gratefully received!
  • Having got through most of a year, admittedly having lost last March entirely, I suddenly hit flashbacks yesterday - bleugh. Not helped by having to go another round with the criminal injuries board, from the letter that arrived yesterday that I haven't fully read, because I need to summon up the energy to face that one. I definitely have some obvious scarring - down the side of my neck across that collarbone and across my chest, which still hurt enough for me to reach for the gloopy cocoa butter first thing each day (sebaceous glands take a long time to return). I can cover up, in theory. But have you seen how much women's clothing covers necks and collarbones? (The answer is not a lot.)

    I did ask the GP about mental health support last year and was given a card to call to organise my own appointment, which, of course, I needed to energy and enthusiasm to organise. The dearth of which was why I asked for an appointment ...
  • I guess having to think about the CIB etc. would indeed bring it all back.

    Bit of a long shot, maybe, but I've always found the receptionists at my GP surgery extremely helpful and sympathetic (one of them is also a practice nurse). Might one of them at yours be able and willing to assist with the MH support appointment?
  • la vie en rougela vie en rouge Circus Host, 8th Day Host
    Bugger. That sucks.

    FWIW, what helps me the most in triggery moments is a grounding exercise to get me firmly back into the present: describe your immediate physical surroundings to yourself in boring detail.

    “I am sitting at my desk. I can see a beige teacup with a black pattern, a half-empty pot of honey and my library book, which has a red cover. Next to them are my pens, in a black plastic pot, and a green stabilo highlighter. There is a small picture of David Bowie which I inherited from F. Why he had a picture of David Bowie in the office is somewhat of a mystery. I have an empty water glass directly in front of me… etc. etc.” For me at least, it works pretty well to haul my brain out of the traumatic moment in the past where it has got itself stuck.

    I also hate executive function at the best of times, and find things like making appointments highly bothersome. Can you get someone else to book it for you?
  • I was rinsing something in the bathroom basin and flashed back to the ages of washing off chemicals with cold water and not being allowed to stop - it's OK, I pulled back quite quickly, but it was a juddery moment.
  • PigletPiglet All Saints Host, Circus Host
    {{{CK, La Vie and all fighting off Black Beasts}}}
  • FirenzeFirenze Shipmate, Host Emeritus
    Not the best day at the cancer clinic. Not panic stations - ‘sub-clinical relapse’ is the phrase in use.

    And yes, they have other treatments. But the thought of another iteration of all the stages of suspense and uncertainty is taking me down.

    Oh, and fucking Brexit.
  • Bishops FingerBishops Finger Shipmate
    edited March 2019
    The correct term is now, I understand, Brexshit...
    :grimace:

    {{for all subject to Black Slithering}}
  • PigletPiglet All Saints Host, Circus Host
    edited March 2019
    {{{Firenze and Mr. F}}}

    eta: I'm feeling black-beastish about Brexshit, and I don't even (a) have a Black Beast; or (b) live in the UK any more.

    :cry: :rage: :cry:
  • Hey, are we allowed to post things about medications that have helped us? Because, there's some really good news on the horizon for some of us with persistent depression but I don't wish to run afoul with the moderators here...
  • ClimacusClimacus Shipmate
    I think I've read of the same treatment. It was a surprise (like you I'll see what the hosts say -- there is a Washington Post article we could link to).
  • PigletPiglet All Saints Host, Circus Host
    Hostly Oink
    By all means, link to newspaper or magazine articles that you think may be helpful or of interest, but please, no giving (or soliciting) medical advice - that's very much to be left to the professionals.

    Thank you.

    Piglet, AS host
  • FirenzeFirenze Shipmate, Host Emeritus
    Not ill enough to be completely zonked out, but not up to much bar slumping in armchair. Weary, bored, appetiteless, futile and dispirited.
  • You have a lot on your plate Firenze, along with Brexit etc. Take care of yourself too. If that includes slumping in chair, so be it.
  • PigletPiglet All Saints Host, Circus Host
    {{{Firenze}}}
  • Just coming out of that state, Firenze - you have my sympathy.
  • Chair-slumping can be helpful.

    {{Firenze and Fredegund}}
  • finelinefineline Kerygmania Host, 8th Day Host
    edited March 2019
    My sympathy too, Firenze. Hope you feel better.
  • ClimacusClimacus Shipmate
    Happy for you Fredegund, and my warmest wishes Firenze. 🕯️
  • (((Firenze)))

    When the Old Ship had the "Help! I've got a teenager thread" I posted about the North East Loon's sleeping patterns, which were wrecking his life. He would get anxious about falling behind with schoolwork, read till 4 or 5 am, go into school exhausted, fall further behind, fall asleep as soon as he got home from school, then wake up in the late evening only to start the whole dismal cycle over again. Eventually we took him to the GP, who was excellent. The GP prescribed sleeping tablets, but the NEL was reluctant to take them, and made a huge effort to sort himself out.

    He's now back in the same situation. There is no routine to when he wakes up, or falls asleep or whether he naps during the day, or how often he naps, with the knock on effect that his meals are at irregular times. He has a bedtime cocoa routine at midnight, and I phone him between 10am and 11 am which ensures he is awake then, but that alone isn't enough.

    He's thinking of coming home with the intention of getting into a routine here. It'll be lovely to have a visit, but I feel as though I don't understand why it is so difficult for him. He's on sertraline, and doesn't want to add sleeping pills to that, and so doesn't want to see his GP specifically about his sleep. I really want to help with this, but I am baffled.

    (He doesn't know I'm posting this, but I will tell him - he read everything I posted on the Help! thread, and still recalls Uncle Pete's advice fondly).





  • It is very common for people with an owl body clock and without a set routine to drift into later and later bedtimes, knocking on into later and later rising. Lots people who work in the evenings or at night, including musicians and comedians do this.
  • A late bedtime and getting up late would be no problem at all. His problem is that his sleep is erratic. He doesn't know when he'll wake up - if he goes to sleep at 2am, he might be awake again at 5am, or woken by my phone call at 11am, and if he wakes at 5am, then he might fall asleep again mid-afternoon and wake up early evening. Every so often he'll wake up and realise he's been asleep for 12 or 13 hours (this doesn't happen often).

    What he'd like is to have all his sleep in one chunk per day. Going to bed at midnight, reading, falling asleep at 2am and waking up between 10 and 11am, then staying awake all day would be ideal.
  • FirenzeFirenze Shipmate, Host Emeritus
    Has he tried imposing a structure? I.e. getting up - alarm assisted if necessary - at say 9, and then fighting off sleep - going for a walk, applying cold water or hot coffee, doing something interesting - until an allowable bedtime?

  • Yes; I phone him between 10 and 11 on his landline, which forces him to get up to answer the phone. It doesn't stop him from nodding off again a few hours later. That's why he's thinking of coming home for a few days, and have me keep him awake. But I'm not sure a few days will make much difference. I'm posting here because he's asked me to help when he comes up, but when we've tried that before, it hasn't worked.
  • ClimacusClimacus Shipmate
    My best wishes.

    I have struggled with sleep. I'll throw a few suggestions out that have helped me, and you and the Loon can take or leave them depending on what works for you.

    Go out for a walk in the morning, either if he wakes up himself or if you wake him with a call. Studies show getting the morning light helps reset your sleep hormones -- which is why blue light before bed is bad.

    Have a warm shower before bed. Having your body cool down helps to sleep. I'm guessing you're in spring so heat may not be a problem, but make sure as far as possible the bedroom is dark and cool.

    I know you've responded to Firenze, but routine is key. The odd nap as needed is fine, but there is nothing like a good, solid sleep. Same with meal times...the earlier the dinner before bed, the better. And a bigger lunch and smaller dinner is better too (I rarely do this, truth be told).

    I'm on various medications and can understand not wanting to take more, but they can be a good short-term solution to help you get in the rhythm and pattern. If you are reading this Mr NE Loon, please reconsider and see your doctor. They can be worth having on hand just in case.

    NEQ, I hope you don't think I'm forward in saying this...no offence is meant. When I have had trouble sleeping, due to mental issues, going to a friend's or parents' place for a few days was helpful. The change of scene can help. I'm not saying it is always a solution, but removing myself from an environment I was struggling in sometimes helped me to deal with something. And I usually slept better.

    Best wishes again.
  • ClimacusClimacus Shipmate
    edited April 2019
    Oh, and if he is struggling with sleep as he's thinking unhelpful thoughts, try and deal with them as best as is possible before bed -- write them down and tell yourself you'll deal with it tomorrow; use imagery if that helps: I place my worries on a fallen leaf which I chuck into a river and watch it float away...a friend puts them in filing cabinets (in our heads, I add!)

    This sounds trite; it may be. But it can help. There are times where other solutions are needed, though.
  • North East QuineNorth East Quine Shipmate
    edited April 2019
    NEQ, I hope you don't think I'm forward in saying this...no offence is meant. When I have had trouble sleeping, due to mental issues, going to a friend's or parents' place for a few days was helpful. The change of scene can help. I'm not saying it is always a solution, but removing myself from an environment I was struggling in sometimes helped me to deal with something. And I usually slept better.

    No offence taken! I'm always delighted to have him visit. I just want to up my game in terms of being an asset to him. I feel I've been saying the same things for a long time (his sleep was an issue for his last couple of years at home before he went to uni) and nothing I said helped then. So saying the same things is unlikely to help now!
  • Lily PadLily Pad Shipmate
    About a month ago, a friend of mine, on her doctor's advice, changed the time of day that she takes her meds from the morning to before bed and her erratic sleep patterns have almost instantly disappeared. She was extremely skeptical about the plan and insisted that it was impossible for her to even begin. She tried once for about three days, didn't like how it felt and went back to the old way. Two of us convinced her that she should try for a minimum of two weeks and it has worked wonders. She is sleeping during the night and up during the day for the first time since I have known her and her outlook on things has improved dramatically. If NE Loon is reading this, please tell him that visiting the GP and/or asking for a specialist appointment is totally worth it sometimes. He might get helpful advice and who could turn that down?
  • Agree with everything Climacus says about establishing sleep patterns (I’m generally manic and prone to insomnia, I have early morning walks, take regular exercise, no naps and have a bedtime routine which includes a warm bath and bed before midnight).
    Keeping a diary of his new routine might help him stick to it.
    I love the imagery of the leaf floating away, I have a butterfly.
    Interesting idea from Lily Pad on medication too.
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