Recommended Retreats

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  • Counter-intuitively perhaps, for someone who is quite imaginative and not so kinaesthetic, it's the imaginative side of the Ignatian exercises I find most difficult.

    I liked the guided aspect and the structure though. People can use the art room at St Beuno's too. People draw, paint, make things with clay ...

    The kinaesthetic is there.

    In my own case that consisted of some drawing but mainly 'walking' some of the meditations out into the landscape, pausing to reflect as points I identified on the map or from memory beforehand.

    The spiritual guide reckoned I was doing the Ignatian stuff instinctively already but without putting a label on it or recognising that's what I'd been doing.

    I still struggle with some of the imaginative stuff but suspect that's a throwback to my evangelical days where we would have been warned about all that ...
  • There'd be nothing to stop you using a rosary and doing your own thing. I picked one up in one of the chapels and used it, even though I'm pretty sure I wasn't using it properly.

    The spiritual guide suggested I made one of my own from found objects.
  • finelinefineline Kerygmania Host, 8th Day Host
    In theory, the spiritual exercises can be adapted to different learning styles - at least, if you get a good guide, who observes and gets to know you and guides you to adapt them to the way your mind works. So you don't necessarily need to imagine the Bible passages. When I did part 1, the guide thought at first that I wouldn't be able to imagine the scenes in my head, because she knew I was on the autism spectrum and she thought that meant I couldn't picture things in my head. So she was suggesting all sorts of other things, and assuring me it didn't matter if the imaginative things don't work for me, because there are lots of other ways to do the exercises. As it happens, I can imagine things in my head, and I told her this, but it was incredibly useful having other alternatives, and knowing it didn't have to be a particular way. And she gave me lots of details to help with the imagining, which was very helpful. But I wasn't just imagining - I was walking in the gardens and drawing the plants and flowers and trees, because I like to do that, and I was sitting in the chapel and even drawing the chapel, and writing my prayers and thoughts. And the spiritual guide used all the things I told her I did to get to know me and guide me and link with the exercises.

    For part 2, I had a different guide who just gave me the Bible passages and didn't give me any ideas or instructions of what I could do them. She said she was trusting that the exercises would somehow work their magic in me, and she thought she'd be interfering if she added anything. It was too vague - I needed some kind of scaffolding, and didn't know what to do with them, so I just searched for religious art on the various passages and copied it. So I did lots of detailed drawings of Jesus and Peter and John and Judas and Thomas. I enjoy drawing, and I think that is an alternative way of engaging with the passages, though I wasn't really getting any feedback from the guide, other than that she liked my drawings, so I didn't get an overall sense of the meaning of the exercises. But that was because the guide didn't know how to connect with me, or didn't want to, maybe. She wasn't expressing much interest when I told her about the things I was doing, and she wasn't trying to get to know me, or guide me.

    So it depends on your guide, but in theory the spiritual exercises can be adapted to anyone, even if you can't imagine things in your head. Ignatius himself emphasised the importance of adapting to the individual. I now am trying to do the exercises at home by myself, because part 2 was too vague and confusing, and I wasn't getting helpful guidance. I am actually at the moment exploring the concept of doing a retreat at home, since I have two weeks of Easter holiday now, and there are so many helpful books and online resources out there. I think in some ways it may be easier to focus on God at home, because you are not having to adapt to all the practicalities of being in a new environment - that in itself can be quite overwhelming and exhausting, no matter how lovely a place it is.

  • SpikeSpike Admin Emeritus
    I recently went on a short retreat at Quarr Abbey on the Isle of Wight. I was made to feel very welcome (well, they are Benedictine) and the guestmaster was keen to see that I settled in and feel comfortable.

    All visitors are encouraged to join in with the worshipping life of the community, but there is no compulsion to do so - there were several other people who, like me, were on individual retreats but I was the only one who attended the 5.30 am vigil service.

    Guests are allowed into woodland area where the general public aren’t allowed, and as it’s so peaceful, I was lucky enough to see a couple of red squirrels.

    A couple of things that some may have difficulty with are that while male guests eat with the monks, female guests have to eat separately. Also (but understandably) non RCs are forbidden from receiving communion at the Mass.
  • PomonaPomona Shipmate
    Why do the female guests eat separately? If the brothers see women as sites of temptation first (as if men can't also find men to be tempting!) and fellow human beings second, that's incredibly demeaning and misogynistic. All the religious I know make a point of saying that if they were not allowed to interact with a different gender, it would insult their commitment to chastity if their vow was so easily broken. Their vow should be enough without segregation being necessary. Mixed gender monasteries were also common in medieval times.
  • Mixed gender monasteries were usually two houses combined - one for women and the other for men. And the scandals of women and men being too involved gave Henry VIII some justification for the Dissolution of the Monasteries.
  • Indeed, but @Pomona has a point.

    Perhaps there's something in the Rule of St Benedict which forbids men and women eating together?
    :grimace:
  • PomonaPomona Shipmate
    Mucknell Abbey and its brothers and sisters (in an actual current mixed gender monastery) seem to manage just fine. There were also many many stories throughout history of romantic relationships existing within same-gender monasteries! The idea that only straight people have ever slept with a monastic is rather cute.

    If your (general you) vow of chastity isn't enough, perhaps consider not making that vow rather than not associating with fellow Christians simply because of their gender.
  • Mixed gender monasteries were usually two houses combined - one for women and the other for men. And the scandals of women and men being too involved gave Henry VIII some justification for the Dissolution of the Monasteries.

    A fair bit of it was hagiography or fake news (as we might term it) but there was more than a grain of truth in accusations of sexual licence
  • sabinesabine Shipmate
    fineline wrote: »
    I imagine some Quakers might have similar issues with those 'more Catholic-y places' - for some, the tat may detract from the sense of mystery, for instance.

    I do regular retreats at an Archabbey. I find it interesting and very peaceful, even the liturgy of the hours in the main church (to which all are invited). If I want to be my Quaker/Menno self, they have lovely grounds as well as libraries and a chapel in the guest house (as well as another one in the woods).

    I think a retreat is, in some part, what you make of it.

  • Monasteries can vary quite a bit in how much contact one has with the monks. At Alton Abbey (Anglican Benedictine, and recommended above), those undertaking retreats live pretty much alongside the monks and have ample opportunity to speak with them casually during times when speaking is encouraged. Like most Anglican religious I've met, the monks there are very interesting people who are deeply spiritual without being off-puttingly pious.

    At Mount St. Bernard's (Roman Catholic and Trappist), there is a very strict separation, and the guest house is almost a world apart.

    It depends on how much silence one wants. Although I did find that, when on a Trappist retreat and wanting more or less total silence, I had to avoid other guests in the guesthouse who had other ideas.

    Also in England, but not a monastery, Walsingham can be anything from a jolly day in Anglo-Catholic Disneyland to a deeply spiritual experience or both at the same time.


    I have also been to Mount Athos, which many people find spiritually fulfilling. I did not, although it's certainly a fascinating place.
  • MiffyMiffy Shipmate
    Indeed, but @Pomona has a point.

    Perhaps there's something in the Rule of St Benedict which forbids men and women eating together?
    :grimace:

    Is there, do you think? I’ve eaten with the brothers at Elmore Abbey (now at Sarum); admittedly, afternoon tea (so English!), and in Douai Abbey, men and women eat together in the guest refectory. Maybe not with the brothers there- I don’t know.

    @Pomona , is Fairacres the place where a reference from your priest is required before your first visit? I was vaguely wondering about giving them a try sometime, but this kind of puts me off. Yes- I’m odd, I know!

  • finelinefineline Kerygmania Host, 8th Day Host
    I don't think I needed a reference from a priest to visit Fairacres. Though I just checked my old emails, and they did ask a reference, but not specifically one from a priest. I think it's fairly common for monastic communities to ask references, and seems fair to me, as you are essentially staying in their home, though a separate building within it, but you are eating with them and sharing space. And convents can get intruders, and not all visitors have good intentions, and may see nuns as a soft touch - especially, maybe, in a city.
  • @Columba_in_a_Currach:

    'Walsingham can be anything from a jolly day in Anglo-Catholic Disneyland to a deeply spiritual experience or both at the same time.'

    A lovely way of putting it - and very true!
  • ZappaZappa Ecclesiantics Host
    ... possibly a bit far to go and it doesn't exist yet, but I was at one of our remostest villages in the diocese yesterday (I have a kind of floaty role around the diocese these days) and the huge house, conjoined smallish church and adjacent guest house cries out to be turned into a retreat centre ... I could lead the retreat* if you'd like to make a donation of about $1 Million Local to get the vision up and running.

    * it would involve Good Spirits, some poetry, biblical meditation, silence, and the threat of Bob Dylan at all times
  • sabinesabine Shipmate
    Sign me up....except for the million, sorry. But I have seen Bib Dylan in concert three times, so that's no threat for me.

    Given the 24 hour flight(s) time (one way) from my location, the food better be good.

    Seriously, I hope someone funds a way to make it happen, Zappa.
  • Our Place's vicarage is a big 5-bedroomed shack, let privately by the Diocese, and earning them a good few £££ per month (Father NewPriest is being provided with a more modest house elsewhere in the parish).

    However, the house would do very nicely as the sort of place Zappa suggests, if the Diocese could do without the wonga, which it can't (apparently).
  • MiffyMiffy Shipmate
    fineline wrote: »
    I don't think I needed a reference from a priest to visit Fairacres. Though I just checked my old emails, and they did ask a reference, but not specifically one from a priest. I think it's fairly common for monastic communities to ask references, and seems fair to me, as you are essentially staying in their home, though a separate building within it, but you are eating with them and sharing space. And convents can get intruders, and not all visitors have good intentions, and may see nuns as a soft touch - especially, maybe, in a city.

    Good point, Fineline. I’d not thought of that aspect. It’s good to hear of places that are both relatively near at hand and accessible by public transport.

    Has anyone mentioned Weeks of Accompanied (or Guided) Prayer as a partial solution to both issues of accessibility and as a means of a gentle introduction to the concept of retreats. Basically, a retreat in daily life: the retreat team stays in a parish or group of parishes for a week, meeting the retreatants each day. It’s a helpful way of helping retreatants to explore different ways of praying, and for many, it’s their first experience both of retreat and of spiritual accompaniment.

    That said, I do prefer a residential retreat myself!







  • PomonaPomona Shipmate
    Miffy, most if not all convents I've stayed in have asked for some kind of reference - doesn't have to be a priest I don't think. I imagine it is for safety reasons.
  • MiffyMiffy Shipmate
    Pomona wrote: »
    Miffy, most if not all convents I've stayed in have asked for some kind of reference - doesn't have to be a priest I don't think. I imagine it is for safety reasons.

    The only time I’ve had to supply a reference was for the 30 Day Exercises at St Beunos. But I guess it does make sense in other places for reasons of security. I may try Fairacres at some point.

    Meanwhile, I’ve a workshop at Sarum in a week’s time, so have decided to make a mini retreat out of it and have booked to stay in the college on the Sunday night. The idea is to allow plenty time to settle in, have a potter round the close, get to Evensong and generally slow down. I’m looking forward to it.

  • My all time favorite retreat center. I always can feel myself relax the minute I start up the long driveway to the center. http://stfrancisretreat.com Good food, beautiful grounds, and great hospitality offered by the brothers.
  • MiffyMiffy Shipmate
    My all time favorite retreat center. I always can feel myself relax the minute I start up the long driveway to the center. http://stfrancisretreat.com Good food, beautiful grounds, and great hospitality offered by the brothers.

    It look a beautiful and peaceful place, GA. I love that dogs are allowed on retreat as well!

  • McMaverickMcMaverick Shipmate
    edited April 2019
    Llangasty Retreat House, between Talgarth & Brecon in Wales, is excellent. There are options for organised retreats, quiet days, drop in days, CARM - creative retreats (eg painting & prayer) and the opportunity to do your own thing. The latter is my preference, and the setting is stunning - a Celtic ‘thin place’ on the banks of lake Langorse/ Llyn Syfaddan and surrounded by a nature reserve. There are two chapels, a large one on the ground floor and a crypt chapel that is very special. Good beds, great food, marvellous hospitality.
  • MiffyMiffy Shipmate
    McMaverick wrote: »
    Llangasty Retreat House, between Talgarth & Brecon in Wales, is excellent. There are options for organised retreats, quiet days, drop in days, CARM - creative retreats (eg painting & prayer) and the opportunity to do your own thing. The latter is my preference, and the setting is stunning - a Celtic ‘thin place’ on the banks of lake Langorse/ Llyn Syfaddan and surrounded by a nature reserve. There are two chapels, a large one on the ground floor and a crypt chapel that is very special. Good beds, great food, marvellous hospitality.

    That’s one I didn’t know about- thanks. Wales seems to have an abundance of retreat houses, doesn’t it? I’ve heard good reports of Llannerchwen, though to date not visited it myself. St Beunos, of course. Then there’s Noddfa in Pennmaenmawr not far down the coast; I spent a restful few days there a few years back. If you travel there by rail there’s the added excitement of Penn being a request stop, requiring you to track down the guard in order to stop on time. And on your return journey, stop the train. I never had to do this as I had a lift back, but imagine having to rip off my flannel petticoat to fashion a flag, Railway Children style. :relaxed:

    Oh- and in Penn itself I discovered a wonderful secondhand bookshop, largely unattended, with an honesty box set into the wall. Heaven!

  • OblatusOblatus Shipmate
    I'm in the USA and direly in need of a retreat. It can't happen for a few weeks yet, but when it does, I'm partial to taking self-designed retreats such as a reading retreat at a hotel known for quiet rooms and close to a Cistercian monastery (New Melleray, in Iowa). Perhaps that's too self-indulgent; I do appreciate not being on an imposed schedule and free to read and pray for long periods. And I can select Offices to pray with the monks and just show up for them (assuring the guestmaster I'm not staying for dinner).
  • CyprianCyprian Shipmate
    edited May 2019
    What a good idea for a thread!

    For various reasons, it has been some many years since I went on retreat. While those reasons no longer exist, I still haven't been on retreat recently, although I do now regularly visit a place that runs group retreats and has provision for individual ones.

    It is a retreat and meditation cetre of my church in France called the Bethany Centre. There is a resident community of probably about ten or so people, including mainly lay people not in monastic orders, but also a nun, a subdeacon, and two priests.

    They aren't a monastic community but they pray the Office every day and have a strong focus on hesychasm as part of their regular prayer life. They have hesychastic meditation for half an hour prior to most of the weekday offices, which guests are invited but not expected to attend, as well as the extended meditations that take place as part of their organised retreats. About fifty or so people use the community chapel of Our Lady & St Thiebault as their parish church so it serves as a parish on Sundays and feasts.

    In addition to the community building with its chapel, there is the Bethany building, which is the very well ordered guest house with a meditation room.

    I usually go there to make my confession and to celebrate certain feasts because my opportunities to do so in the UK have until recently been limited. This year I went for Holy Week and Pascha. Despite there being no fixed time for meditation (because of the plethora of offices and the silence that we kept), this latest visit was the nearest I think I came to a retreat. Immersing myself in the worship and the silence was just what I needed. (The discipline of the eight hours of choir rehearsals over six days was also something I found gave me structure, as we as being something I thoroughly enjoyed).

    My French is very poor but a number of the community speak English, some fluently. The worship according to the Western Rite so will be familiar to most. The cheese is also amazing.
  • angloidangloid Shipmate
    Cyprian wrote: »
    The cheese is also amazing.

    Amazing Cheeses! Alleluia!
  • MiffyMiffy Shipmate
    It looks a wonderful place, Cyprian, cheeses and all!

    I wasn’t in a position to go away on retreat during my time living in France many years ago (young children), though our church did arrange yearly stays at the Liebfrauenberg Centre https://www.maisons-chretiennes-alsace.com/english/chateau-du-liebfrauenberg/ which the whole family enjoyed.

    Then a couple of years back, Mr M and I made a day visit to Notre Dame de la Salettehttps://www.tripadvisor.co.uk/Attraction_Review-g1500077-d1527729-Reviews-Sanctuaire_de_Notre_Dame_de_La_Salette-La_Salette_Fallavaux_Isere_Auvergne_Rhone.html . Breathtakingly beautiful; I’d love to spend more time there.

    @Oblatus - Sounds good. I’ve made a few of what I call my self-propelled retreats; there’s an RC retreat centre quite near which is happy to accomodate individual retreatants for a day or two between courses and larger group visits. Last time they extended an invitation to Mass, which I didn’t take up, but they didn’t appear to mind, and I was free to wander round the house and gardens as I chose. I had the whole place to myself!






  • CyprianCyprian Shipmate
    angloid wrote: »
    Cyprian wrote: »
    The cheese is also amazing.

    Amazing Cheeses! Alleluia!

    It's the real reason I go. :) That, and the wine.
    Miffy wrote: »
    It looks a wonderful place, Cyprian, cheeses and all!

    It really is. Here are some photos and a video from the night of Pascha.

    I can't wait to go again in September. I'll be there for the Exaltation of the Holy Cross and my nameday.
    Then a couple of years back, Mr M and I made a day visit to Notre Dame de la Salettehttps://www.tripadvisor.co.uk/Attraction_Review-g1500077-d1527729-Reviews-Sanctuaire_de_Notre_Dame_de_La_Salette-La_Salette_Fallavaux_Isere_Auvergne_Rhone.html . Breathtakingly beautiful; I’d love to spend more time there.

    This looks beautiful. Anywhere that there's snow is worth a visit, especially in the darkness of winter. Sadly, there has been no snow on my January visits to our communities in France. :(
  • McMaverickMcMaverick Shipmate
    Here’s a link to their site
    https://llangasty.com/index.php
    Miffy wrote: »

    That’s one I didn’t know about- thanks. Wales seems to have an abundance of retreat houses, doesn’t it? I’ve heard good reports of Llannerchwen, though to date not visited it myself. St Beunos, of course. Then there’s Noddfa in Pennmaenmawr not far down the coast; I spent a restful few days there a few years back. If you travel there by rail there’s the added excitement of Penn being a request stop, requiring you to track down the guard in order to stop on time. And on your return journey, stop the train. I never had to do this as I had a lift back, but imagine having to rip off my flannel petticoat to fashion a flag, Railway Children style. :relaxed:

    Oh- and in Penn itself I discovered a wonderful secondhand bookshop, largely unattended, with an honesty box set into the wall. Heaven!
  • ZappaZappa Ecclesiantics Host
    angloid wrote: »
    Cyprian wrote: »
    The cheese is also amazing.

    Amazing Cheeses! Alleluia!

    So far I have refrained from proclaiming, joyfully, "Cheeses is risen ..." because, well I wouldn't, would I?
  • FredegundFredegund Shipmate
    For those who want to do their own thing and be frugal as well:
    https://www.bardsey.org/
    There isn't always a religious presence on the island, but you could always go across to Aberdaron for a service. If the place were any thinner there'd be a hole in the space-time continuum.
  • There's currently, for the next 11 days, a series about abbeys and retreats on i-Player, Retreat: Meditations from a Monastery, visits to three monasteries, Downside, Belmont and Pluscarden.
  • MiffyMiffy Shipmate
    There's currently, for the next 11 days, a series about abbeys and retreats on i-Player, Retreat: Meditations from a Monastery, visits to three monasteries, Downside, Belmont and Pluscarden.

    Thanks! I manage to watch all of this at first showing, so it’ll be good to have the chance to catch up. The BBC seems to be putting a load of old programming on i player atm. I must have an explore.

  • EnochEnoch Shipmate
    There's currently, for the next 11 days, a series about abbeys and retreats on i-Player, Retreat: Meditations from a Monastery, visits to three monasteries, Downside, Belmont and Pluscarden.
    I wouldn't go so far as wanting to discourage anyone from watching them, but I saw all three episodes when they were previously on. They're OK, just about and a relaxing watch. However, they convey next to no impression of what a monastery is really like or about. They're a sort of In a Monastery Garden version of the real thing. In that sense, they're actually quite misleading.

  • MiffyMiffy Shipmate
    Yes, I guess there will inevitably be a certain element of artificiality when a film crew are around and what is deemed to make ‘good’ ( nearly typed ‘god’ ) TV isn’t necessarily reflective of the true situation. I know that documentaries here in the UK like The Monastery and The Convent (many moons ago) were immensely popular nevertheless, though I’m sure they too had their moments!

    Did we have any debate about them on the Old Ship, do you remember? I’ve done a quick search but not found anything so far.
  • I thought the monastery programmes were lovely. They weren't pitched as documentaries or reality-TV - heaven forfend.

    I thought they did what they said on the tin. Slow, meditative and meandering but beautifully composed shots of monks pootling around tending beehives, painting icons or kicking a ball around for the monastery dog to chase.

    What wasn't to like?
  • OblatusOblatus Shipmate
    What makes my eyes roll is videos meant to introduce viewers to life in a monastery, but with stock background music giving the impression that the monks have a contract with Muzak. Sure, watch the monks chant a psalm for a few seconds, but what you're hearing is agreeable piano/synthesizer stuff worthy of a hotel's internal amenities TV channel.
  • Sure, but there wasn't any of that with these programmes.
  • MiffyMiffy Shipmate
    I thought the monastery programmes were lovely. They weren't pitched as documentaries or reality-TV - heaven forfend.

    I thought they did what they said on the tin. Slow, meditative and meandering but beautifully composed shots of monks pootling around tending beehives, painting icons or kicking a ball around for the monastery dog to chase.

    What wasn't to like?

    Similar to ‘Into Great Silence,’ the film following the Carthusian monks of Grande Chartreuse. Wonderful.

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