Today I Consign To Hell -the All Saints version

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  • BroJamesBroJames Purgatory Host, 8th Day Host
    Hospital waiting is not the symptom of an overstretched system, it a plan to embed health information in the visiting public.
  • SarasaSarasa Shipmate
    I complained at the audiology clinic that having music on while waiting for appointments wasn't likely to make most deaf people feel relaxed, just extremely annoyed that they couldn't hear it properly. That's funny they said, a lot of people have said that. Not sure if they've changed the policy. I now tend to turn off my aids and watch for my number to come up before switching them on again.
  • BroJames wrote: »
    Hospital waiting is not the symptom of an overstretched system, it a plan to embed health information in the visiting public.

    Such as:

    --It isn't good for your body to spend motionless hours in an uncomfortable chair?

    --If you run away to answer the call of nature, your chair may be occupied by someone else when you return?

    --Stale vending machine food can have unfortunate tummy results?

    ;)
  • Golden Key wrote: »
    Re waiting room TVs:

    I checked Duck Duck Go for "gadget to turn off TVs in waiting rooms".

    I found out two things:

    --Tv-B-Gone is probably what you're looking for;

    and

    --Other people feel the same way.

    Looks useful. I wonder if it works through hotel room walls...
  • The cowboy builder who last owned my house :confounded:
  • Ooh, tell me about it! (We had folks who insulated the walls with old underwear--that is, where the insulated at all. I can only hope they washed it first)
  • CameronCameron Shipmate
    Ooh, tell me about it! (We had folks who insulated the walls with old underwear--that is, where the insulated at all. I can only hope they washed it first)

    I thought I had heard all the construction nightmare stories, and then... :astonished:

    That HAS to take the prize for the most bizarrely inappropriate building material ever!

  • Oh, this was an (extremely) amateur job, done totally off the books, with no permit, in the basement, as they installed a illegal bedroom OVER TWO INCHES OF STANDING WATER which were rusting through the steel beam column support for the living room immediately above. We discovered this fact after we tore out the mess. But almost worse than the underwear insulation was the 1970s orange shag carpeting together with the extremely splintery knotty pine woodwork, complete with horseshoes. I'm surprised we didn't find cattle skulls down there.
  • @Lamb Chopped

    Yours and my experiences sound aesthetically different, but equally depressing. Old underwear for insulation? Yikes! :grimace:
  • Re "cowboy builders":

    Weird. Hadn't heard the term, until a Yahoo horror story today. (Don't leave cowboy builders home alone while you go on vacation! (:paranoid:) )

    Now the term is scurrying around here, too,
  • Re...creative...improvisational...insulation:

    I think it used to be fairly common for homeowners (and freezing tenants?) to use whatever they could get their hands on. Cloth, paper, etc. Newspaper insulation even gives approximate dates for the work. IIRC, I heard about that on various renovation and history shows.

    But yes, thorough washing and disinfecting is to be hoped for, and shredding the garment to the point where it's not immediately recognizable.
  • RossweisseRossweisse Hell Host, 8th Day Host
    Golden Key wrote: »
    Re waiting room TVs:
    ...-Tv-B-Gone is probably what you're looking for...

    This is the one I had: https://www.amazon.com/TV-B-Gone-Universal-TV-Control-Keychain/dp/B0006GD9CE.

    After the day I had today (a ScanFest in which the two departments I needed were running late and I had to wait hours in a TV-dominated room - death to "The Price is Right"!) I may invest in another one or similar.

  • And maybe a universal remote, just in case you *do* want to watch something of your own choosing? Though I don't know if that would work--i.e., would the remote have the right code available?
  • jedijudyjedijudy Heaven Host, 8th Day Host
    BroJames wrote: »
    Hospital waiting is not the symptom of an overstretched system, it a plan to embed health information in the visiting public.

    I wish health information would have been on the TV while I was trapped in that room, BroJames. Would have been more enjoyable, and I do like learning things related to health! Unfortunately, the infomercial I was tortured with was about a device to shave the peach fuzz off a lady's face. Over and over and over again. :tired_face:
  • ICTH Brides who are late - not just a minute or so but over a quarter of an hour.

    You gave out to all and sundry how you'd been planning "the day" for 2 years but you couldn't get to the church on time? Really? :rage:
  • I agree - but somehow it's considered "the bride's prerogative".

    Mind you, I once had a bride who arrived too early, so I told her car to take a turn round the block. Unfortunately it was a football day and they got stuck in a traffic jam ...
  • LOL re traffic jam.
  • The North East Man was almost late to ours. He put on the kilt socks which I had lovingly knitted for him, and realised they had bits of wool sticking out, and didn't look very good. So he spent 20 mins hunting down a pair of nail scissors and then carefully cut all the ends off. By the time he had finished he was running 30 mins late.

    Someone was positioned at the door of our church to wave my car past, but fortunately the North East Man narrowly beat me to the church.

    He apologised to the minister but explained there had been a problem with his socks. The minister pointed out he was was wearing them inside out, but I'd arrived by then, so no time to take them off and put them back on the right way.

    When I bowed my head for the first prayer, I spotted the socks. The socks I had spent hours knitting. And that, dear reader, is why half way through my marriage ceremony the only thought in my mind was "I'm going to kill him...."

    We celebrated our 30th wedding anniversary this year.
  • CameronCameron Shipmate
    jedijudy wrote: »
    BroJames wrote: »
    Hospital waiting is not the symptom of an overstretched system, it a plan to embed health information in the visiting public.

    I wish health information would have been on the TV while I was trapped in that room, BroJames. Would have been more enjoyable, and I do like learning things related to health! Unfortunately, the infomercial I was tortured with was about a device to shave the peach fuzz off a lady's face. Over and over and over again. :tired_face:

    :star: But wait! order within the next 15 minutes and receive this set of nickel-plated podiatry spatulas at no extra cost!! That’s over two hundred dollars value for just $5.99!!! :star:

    :tired_face:
  • Half way through my marriage ceremony the only thought in my mind was "I'm going to kill him...."

    We celebrated our 30th wedding anniversary this year.
    As I'm sure you know, the lady (when asked if she had ever thought of divorcing her husband) replied: "Divorce? Never. Murder? Frequently!"

    I'm sure Mrs. BT (married to me since March 1982) has often felt like that ...

  • I have told my parents that in my eyes that is a mark of a good marriage.
  • I agree - but somehow it's considered "the bride's prerogative".

    Mind you, I once had a bride who arrived too early, so I told her car to take a turn round the block. Unfortunately it was a football day and they got stuck in a traffic jam ...

    I once had an early bride, who arrived literally before anyone but me. She and her bridesmaid decided to hide in the Portaloo (spell check makes that Portillo 😂) which was the church's only convenience.
  • PigletPiglet All Saints Host, Circus Host
    @North East Quine - <killingme>

    Being the wife of an organist, I was totally paranoid about being late, and consequently arrived a minute or two early. My Beloved was apparently telling jokes in the vestry, when the best man (his brother-in-law) popped his head round the door and said, "she's here". :mrgreen:

    Re the TV remotes, I'd be worried that turning a "public" TV off would elicit howls of rage from the other inhabitants of the waiting room.
  • That's why you have it in your jacket pocket from whence you can deploy it and then innocently say, "Oh dear, I wonder what happened?"
  • I believe there are similar devices for silencing mobile phones, e.g. in a railway carriage, but are they legal?
    :innocent:
  • I believe there are similar devices for silencing mobile phones, e.g. in a railway carriage, but are they legal?
    :innocent:

    Does it matter?
  • RossweisseRossweisse Hell Host, 8th Day Host
    Piglet wrote: »
    ...Re the TV remotes, I'd be worried that turning a "public" TV off would elicit howls of rage from the other inhabitants of the waiting room.
    There were just three of us - my aide, another woman, and me - all huddled in the furthest corner from the wall-mounted set, and all trying to read.


  • mousethief wrote: »
    I believe there are similar devices for silencing mobile phones, e.g. in a railway carriage, but are they legal?
    :innocent:

    Does it matter?

    No, I suppose it doesn't...especially if the Victim is unaware of the source of their Anguish...
    :naughty:

  • Cathscats wrote: »
    She and her bridesmaid decided to hide in the Portaloo (spell check makes that Portillo 😂) which was the church's only convenience.
    A very convenient convenience.

  • Hubby and I were married during the worst snowstorm that had happened in over 20 years. That is what you get for wanting a December wedding. The bride, groom, and wedding party made it on time, but we delayed the start of the wedding by 30 minutes so the guests had time to put chains on tires and drift in though the snow and sleet. Bless them most everyone showed up.
  • A similar story to ours Graven Image - we went into, and came out of the church in bright sunshine. Then we, our families and friends gathered at a local pub for a reception/ceilidh during which there was a terrific blizzard and deep snow. Our wedding ended with a lock-in and folk unable to go home until the next day!
  • We celebrated our 30th wedding anniversary this year.

    Tangent/ And may I say that your story about how you came to stop ironing his shirts is still one of my top laugh-out-loud moments on the Ship./Tangent off

  • PigletPiglet All Saints Host, Circus Host
    TICTH motoring infractions. D. was stopped by an (admittedly very polite*) policeman who informed him that our equivalent of an MOT (a little sticker on the windscreen) was out of date, and when D. produced his (still current) Newfoundland driving licence, he was told he should have changed it for a New Brunswick one, eliciting two separate fines.

    It also made us late for choir practice before church - why did they have to stop him on practically the only occasion this week when he had to be somewhere???

    I think the word I'm looking for is "bollocks". :rage:

    * This is Canada, after all ... :smiley:
  • Bishops FingerBishops Finger Shipmate
    edited September 2019
    O such a tale of infamy and Crime!

    O the Shame!

    O the unwanted need to disburse $$$...!

    O ballcocks, indeed!

    :scream:
  • PigletPiglet All Saints Host, Circus Host
    I think the "MOT" thing is maybe a fair cop - he told me he was aware of it but had been putting it off (!), but I think he genuinely didn't realise you needed a different licence for a different province if the old one was still valid.

    Could do without having to disburse the $$$ though.
  • So what do you do if you're just visiting another province? Or working there for a few months?
  • You have 90 days from arrival to change it over to the province of your new permanent address.
  • ICTH Brides who are late - not just a minute or so but over a quarter of an hour.

    You gave out to all and sundry how you'd been planning "the day" for 2 years but you couldn't get to the church on time? Really? :rage:

    My priest has a policy that if any members of the wedding party are more than ten minutes late they get charged in increasingly high amounts. He said merely telling them this policy has worked in keeping everyone on time, and I don’t think he’s ever had to enforce it.

  • PigletPiglet All Saints Host, Circus Host
    Wow - there's an idea! I wonder if it could be applied to the organist's fee as well ... ? :naughty:
  • Well, they would be paying more pre-service twiddly things, wouldn't they!
  • PigletPiglet All Saints Host, Circus Host
    Exactly. There was a notorious wedding in St. Magnus about 35 years ago when the bride was half an hour late. It was a very fancy affair: she had the choir (one of the tenors happened to be her boss); she'd gone to Paris to get her dress (quite something from Orkney in those days); and she arrived by horse and carriage. Maybe the horse broke down ...

    The other notable thing about the service was that she was coming up the aisle to the theme from Chariots of Fire. As you can imagine, the waiting congregation was treated to variants of every film score D. could think of (with "Why are we waiting" being worked in in ever-less subtle ways)!
  • :lol:
    Nice one. D.!

    (BTW, did the bride come all the way from Paris by horse and carriage?)
  • A priest friend of mine once told me a story about a wedding he was officiating at. The whole marriage party showed up a half hour late, all totally cocked out of their minds. The guests were all waiting in the pews, unaware of the sorry state of the bride and groom. He said it was quite mortifying. Evidently they postponed the wedding by an hour so the needed people could sober up.
    Oh, and the wedding was at 11 in the morning. Some people.
  • Might he have had a case for cancelling the wedding (or at least postponing it to another date), on the grounds that the B & G were incapable of making Solemn Promises?
    :naughty:
  • Might he have had a case for cancelling the wedding (or at least postponing it to another date), on the grounds that the B & G were incapable of making Solemn Promises?
    :naughty:

    I have heard of that being done. A marriage is legal contract, and if one or both are not of sound mind, they can't make a legal contract. Too bad - so sad...
  • He probably could have, but evidently chose not to. Seems quite strange to me to get so intoxicated before the wedding. After, sure, anything goes. But before? Sheesh.
  • Well, if they ever want to have the marriage annulled, maybe this would give them grounds to do so.
  • Maybe the group started drinking the night before, never went home, and never stopped drinking? And/or were scared out of their minds?
  • RossweisseRossweisse Hell Host, 8th Day Host
    ECraigR wrote: »
    My priest has a policy that if any members of the wedding party are more than ten minutes late they get charged in increasingly high amounts. He said merely telling them this policy has worked in keeping everyone on time, and I don’t think he’s ever had to enforce it.
    I once sang for a high school friend's wedding, accompanying myself (at her request) on the guitar. On the morning of the wedding, she disappeared into the restroom for a half-hour. I was told to fill in the time, but didn't really have the repertoire for it. Nevertheless, I did my best.

    After that, I declined to be the only musician performing at any wedding. If I'd known about that policy, though...


  • PigletPiglet All Saints Host, Circus Host
    ... (BTW, did the bride come all the way from Paris by horse and carriage?)
    No - it just felt like it. :mrgreen:
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