Corny Choruses

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  • There's always this one:

    Jesus loves me. This I know,
    For the Bible tells me so.
    Little children to Him come.
    We are weak, but He is strong.

    Yes, Jesus loves me.
    Yes, Jesus loves me.
    Yes, Jesus loves me.
    The Bible tells me so.
  • IIRC, the third and fourth lines should be 'Little ones to Him belong, I am weak, but He is strong'.

    I never liked this one either...
  • MooMoo Kerygmania Host
    AuthorDiva wrote: »
    There's always this one:

    Jesus loves me. This I know,
    For the Bible tells me so.
    Little children to Him come.
    We are weak, but He is strong.

    Yes, Jesus loves me.
    Yes, Jesus loves me.
    Yes, Jesus loves me.
    The Bible tells me so.

    When I first joined the ship, there was a shippie named Alexandra who wrote parodies Here is her version of 'Jesus Loves Me'.

    Jesus loves me I'm so glad
    Never tells me I've been bad,
    He's my mascot he's my pet,
    Everything I want I get.
    Yes Jesus loves me
    Yes Jesus loves me
    Yes Jesus loves me
    He loves me more than you
  • :lol:

    I woz wrong - fourth line is 'They are weak, but he is strong'.

    Ah well - it's been quite a while since I first warbled this ditty...
  • There is a special place in Heaven for the doctor who was called in on what she had hoped was a day off to perform a lumbar puncture on my 8 month old daughter, and who did not object to me singing "Yes, Jesus Loves Me" over and over again to my daughter whilst she was carrying out said lumbar puncture.

    In my defence I was scared witless and trying to hold it together to reassure my daughter.

    I <3 the NHS and all its staff.
  • Yes indeed! This was the last song we sang my grandmother before her death from Alzheimer's. I think she recognized it. I won't forget that smile.
  • I never grew up with the song, and don't like it much, but I tolerate it for meaning it has in memory for older folk in our congregation.
  • EnochEnoch Shipmate
    I have a real problem with that particular chorus. I don't like it. The words and the tune are both trite. So is the way they fit together. But, unlike my other bêtes noire, monstrosities I've mentioned before on these boards, one well known and one less so, the theology of Jesus loves me this I know is impeccable, and it's both special and dear to the hearts of many Christians who are far better and more saintly people than I am - as @North East Quine and @Lamb Chopped have described. I also suspect both of you would also come in the category of people I've just referred to.

    I do like Alexandra's spoof though. Thank you @Moo.
  • Yes indeed! This was the last song we sang my grandmother before her death from Alzheimer's. I think she recognized it. I won't forget that smile.

    Don't knock the song …. Mrs M calmed many a ward of elderly Alzheimer sufferers with it.
  • Bishops FingerBishops Finger Shipmate
    edited December 2019
    I stand suitably chastened.

    Just because I don't happen to like a song/hymn/chorus doesn't mean to say that it's the same for everyone, and I'm glad when people in need are helped by simple musical offerings (or any other musical offerings).

    Our Lord, and His Blessed Mother, are glad, too, of course.
  • I think it was Karl Barth who was reputed to have answered, when asked about the basis of his theology, "Jesus loves me, this I know, for the Bible tells me so". When I am completely dottled in another year or two, I am sure I'll still have that in my mind somewhere.
  • I think it was Karl Barth who was reputed to have answered, when asked about the basis of his theology, "Jesus loves me, this I know, for the Bible tells me so". When I am completely dottled in another year or two, I am sure I'll still have that in my mind somewhere.
    Close. Barth was asked if he could summarize his voluminous writings in one sentence. His answer was along the lines of "Yes, I can. In the words of a song I learned at my mother's knee: 'Jesus loves me, this I know, for the Bible tells me so.'"

  • I stand suitably chastened.

    Just because I don't happen to like a song/hymn/chorus doesn't mean to say that it's the same for everyone, and I'm glad when people in need are helped by simple musical offerings (or any other musical offerings).

    Our Lord, and His Blessed Mother, are glad, too, of course.

    I, too stand suitably chastened. I still don't like the song, but it does have special meaning for some people. This is the true test of the value of any hymn.
  • Nick Tamen wrote: »
    I think it was Karl Barth who was reputed to have answered, when asked about the basis of his theology, "Jesus loves me, this I know, for the Bible tells me so". When I am completely dottled in another year or two, I am sure I'll still have that in my mind somewhere.
    Close. Barth was asked if he could summarize his voluminous writings in one sentence. His answer was along the lines of "Yes, I can. In the words of a song I learned at my mother's knee: 'Jesus loves me, this I know, for the Bible tells me so.'"

    I was going to post to say this is apocryphal, but apparently it turns out that it's not.
  • Nick TamenNick Tamen Shipmate
    edited December 2019
    Yes, it certainly sounds apocryphal. But I’d looked into it in the past and found that same article, as well as others that confirm it.

    There’s also the story, I think also confirmed, that Barth was talking with an astronomer, who said “I'm an astronomer, and as far as I am concerned, the whole of Christianity can be summed up by saying, ‘Do unto others as you would have others do unto you.’” Barth replied: “Well, I am just a theologian, and as far as I am concerned, the whole of astronomy can be summed up by saying, ‘Twinkle, twinkle, little star, how I wonder what you are.’”

  • RossweisseRossweisse Hell Host, 8th Day Host
    Yes indeed! This was the last song we sang my grandmother before her death from Alzheimer's. I think she recognized it. I won't forget that smile.
    Please sing "Aberystwyth," with the words to "Jesus, Lover of my Soul" (or perhaps "Helmsley" - best Advent hymn ever) at my deathbed.
  • You'll get 'All things bright and beautiful' and like it...
  • I'm sure she'd prefer a nice selection of Rutter anthems.
  • Rossweisse wrote: »
    Please sing "Aberystwyth," with the words to "Jesus, Lover of my Soul" <snip> at my deathbed.

    When we get that truly stonking hymn as the Gradual at church I defer the tierce de Picardy (major key resolution to a minor key piece) to the end of the Gospel fanfare, which will of course have been based on the preceding hymn. If you have that hymn on your death bed you can resolve the D minor into D major when you wake up in heaven. I like that.
  • Baptist TrainfanBaptist Trainfan Shipmate
    edited December 2019
    [Of course the speed of the resolution depends on how long you stay in Purgatory ... Fortunately organs are no longer pumped by hand.]
  • [Of course the speed of the resolution depends on how long you stay in Purgatory ... Fortunately organs are no longer pumped by hand.]

    Sounds like a good activity for musicians in purgatory
  • HelenEva wrote: »
    [Of course the speed of the resolution depends on how long you stay in Purgatory ... Fortunately organs are no longer pumped by hand.]

    Sounds like a good activity for musicians in purgatory

    Musicians in hell, on the other hand, are stuck in a Perspex box with a drum kit.
  • HelenEva wrote: »
    [Of course the speed of the resolution depends on how long you stay in Purgatory ... Fortunately organs are no longer pumped by hand.]

    Sounds like a good activity for musicians in purgatory

    Musicians in hell, on the other hand, are stuck in a Perspex box with a drum kit.

    With the stage lights on them and the loudspeakers aimed at them, 24 hours a day. (Do they have days in Hell?)

  • With the stage lights on them and the loudspeakers aimed at them, 24 hours a day. (Do they have days in Hell?)

    There are definitely days in Hell because musicians are paid by units of time and without units of time they won't know how much money they're missing. Therefore without days, they would miss a major part of the torture.
  • HelenEva wrote: »
    [Of course the speed of the resolution depends on how long you stay in Purgatory ... Fortunately organs are no longer pumped by hand.]

    Sounds like a good activity for musicians in purgatory

    Musicians in hell, on the other hand, are stuck in a Perspex box with a drum kit.

    With the stage lights on them and the loudspeakers aimed at them, 24 hours a day. (Do they have days in Hell?)

    With lift musak playing through the speakers.
  • What about hold music instead?

    Not sure how widespread that particular one is outside France, but it's very common here. I use it to be passive-aggressive with telemarketers. "One moment please" <place phone by PC speaker, launch tab>.
  • Rossweisse wrote: »
    Yes indeed! This was the last song we sang my grandmother before her death from Alzheimer's. I think she recognized it. I won't forget that smile.
    Please sing "Aberystwyth," with the words to "Jesus, Lover of my Soul" (or perhaps "Helmsley" - best Advent hymn ever) at my deathbed.

    Noted! Though don't flip out if you get it early, or multiple times--I'm not going to harass the Powers that Be to give me an exact accounting of how far the Heavenly Gates have opened.
  • RossweisseRossweisse Hell Host, 8th Day Host
    Eutychus wrote: »
    What about hold music instead?

    Not sure how widespread that particular one is outside France, but it's very common here. I use it to be passive-aggressive with telemarketers. "One moment please" <place phone by PC speaker, launch tab>.
    Well, I'm glad that there's some legitimate use for dreck like that.

  • Eutychus wrote: »
    What about hold music instead?

    Not sure how widespread that particular one is outside France,
    Heard when calling several companies in Australia.

    I admire you in your use of it.

  • ZappaZappa Ecclesiantics Host
    If I wasn't a universalist I would reserve a special place in hell for the author of "What a Friend we have in Chee Jesus

    ... actually most of this thread reminds me of why I so enjoyed [aspects of] life as an atheist - though I guess songs like "My boy friend's back and he's gonna kick your teeth in" or whatever it was (or "Billy Don't Be a Hero") were were not much better ... as usual, I guess, the Christians just emulated Bad and vice versa
  • Zappa wrote: »
    If I wasn't a universalist I would reserve a special place in hell for the author of "What a Friend we have in Chee Jesus

    Even to 'Blaenwern'?
  • DafydDafyd Shipmate
    Eutychus wrote: »
    Zappa wrote: »
    If I wasn't a universalist I would reserve a special place in hell for the author of "What a Friend we have in Chee Jesus
    Even to 'Blaenwern'?
    The thing about using Blaenwern for anything that isn't Love Divine All Loves Excelling is that it makes you think you aren't singing Love Divine All Loves Excelling.

  • Well not for French-speaking congregations
  • Or American congregations.

  • I came in here for something else, but have to say first that at a recent Christening, the opening music was "Jesus Loves Me" - but sung by a gospel group, and it was wonderful. (They sing in Stroud.)
    The something else arose while I got the words for the funeral order of service, the last hymn being, the choice of the deceased, "The Battle Hymn of the Republic", which I usually avoid calling that, but I found this verse on line, a verse I had never come across before.

    "I have read a fiery Gospel writ in burnished rows of steel;
    "As ye deal with My contemners, so with you My grace shall deal";
    Let the Hero, born of woman, crush the serpent with His heel,
    Since God is marching on. (Refrain ...)"

    It seems to have wandered in from "Good Omens", or "Game of Thrones" (heavenly version). I think it should have been lost long ago. A very strange interpretation of grace, is it not? Unless I have read it wrong and He wants us to forgive them. But it doesn't sound like it.
  • Penny S wrote: »
    I came in here for something else, but have to say first that at a recent Christening, the opening music was "Jesus Loves Me" - but sung by a gospel group, and it was wonderful. (They sing in Stroud.)
    Is that a particular dialect, only found in Gloucestershire?

  • Hmm. As it's the deceased person's choice, I guess you have to run with it, but might it be OK to cut out that Very Odd verse?

    Mind you, the rest of the hymn is pretty bizarre, at least to those of us on this side of the Pond, although the tune is fun! (It's set to a more recent Easter hymn in one of the much-derided Mayh*w books).

    I hope there's a goodly number of competent singers at the funeral, or this hymn is going to go down like a lead balloon, deceased's choice or not...
  • It's the other one I'm worried about doing the lead balloon thing. (Let the beauty of Jesus be seen in me.) The odd verse does not appear in any recorded version, just the basic four - Mine eyes, He has sounded forth the trumpet, In the beauty of the lilies and He is coming like the glory, so that is what we are going with. I am more worried about the odd teacher with a ruler, or the RAF parachute version creeping in. I've been having it as an earworm, with the words "Come and sing aloud God's praises, and he ain't going to jump no more" - very worrying.
    She also wanted "All things bright and beautiful" - all the verses. But it turned out she did not know all the verses, so there is no problem with rich men and castles!
  • BroJamesBroJames Purgatory Host, 8th Day Host
    Interesting that the final verse was omitted from first publication
    He is coming like the glory of the morning on the wave,
    He is Wisdom to the mighty, He is Succour to the brave,
    So the world shall be His footstool, and the soul of Time His slave,
    Our God is marching on.
    (Chorus)

    As for the verse quoted above I would read it differently.
    I have read a fiery Gospel writ in burnished rows of steel;
    "As ye deal with My contemners, so with you My grace shall deal"

    The first line is fairly martial, though somewhat hard to interpret. The second line I think I’d read as saying something like the Lord’s Prayer’s “forgive us our sins as…”.

    Surely it is saying as you deal with ‘my contemnors’ - those who hold me in contempt - in the same way I will deal with you. So if you want to receive grace and mercy, then you must show it to them.

    The trouble is in the nature of singing we can quickly skip over the meaning of what we sing.
  • Penny S wrote: »
    I came in here for something else, but have to say first that at a recent Christening, the opening music was "Jesus Loves Me" - but sung by a gospel group, and it was wonderful. (They sing in Stroud.)
    Is that a particular dialect, only found in Gloucestershire?

    That's terrible. Get back to writing your sermon.
  • TelfordTelford Shipmate
    edited January 2020
    Hmm. As it's the deceased person's choice, I guess you have to run with it, but might it be OK to cut out that Very Odd verse?

    Mind you, the rest of the hymn is pretty bizarre, at least to those of us on this side of the Pond, although the tune is fun! (It's set to a more recent Easter hymn in one of the much-derided Mayh*w books).

    I hope there's a goodly number of competent singers at the funeral, or this hymn is going to go down like a lead balloon, deceased's choice or not...

    I have money set aside for professional mourners and the criteria is that they have to be good singers as well as demonstrate genuine grief.
  • A local parish priest was asked to conduct the funeral of a parishioner, who had left a list of hymns to be sung at the crematorium. They were apparently culled from the TV programme 'Songs of Praise', for he was not a churchgoer. His wishes were complied with, except for one verse from 'Give me joy in my heart' - that which begins 'Give me oil in my lamp, keep me burning', which was thought inappropriate - or perhaps a bit too appropriate.
  • Bishops FingerBishops Finger Shipmate
    edited January 2020
    There are different versions of that ditty, all to the same tune, so hopefully (and possibly with a bit of mix-and-match) a set of appropriate verses was found!
    Telford wrote: »
    Hmm. As it's the deceased person's choice, I guess you have to run with it, but might it be OK to cut out that Very Odd verse?

    Mind you, the rest of the hymn is pretty bizarre, at least to those of us on this side of the Pond, although the tune is fun! (It's set to a more recent Easter hymn in one of the much-derided Mayh*w books).

    I hope there's a goodly number of competent singers at the funeral, or this hymn is going to go down like a lead balloon, deceased's choice or not...

    I have money set aside for professional mourners and the criteria is that they have to be good singers as well as demonstrate genuine grief.

    You're paying them to show genuine grief? Hmm...you might get the grief, if the cheque bounces... :wink:...but not necessarily at your funeral!
    :lol:
  • Eirenist wrote: »
    A local parish priest was asked to conduct the funeral of a parishioner, who had left a list of hymns to be sung at the crematorium. They were apparently culled from the TV programme 'Songs of Praise', for he was not a churchgoer. His wishes were complied with, except for one verse from 'Give me joy in my heart' - that which begins 'Give me oil in my lamp, keep me burning', which was thought inappropriate - or perhaps a bit too appropriate.

    Good job then that he didn't mention another Songs of Praise favourite, Colours of Day (which I have had to play at a crematorium) with its chorus of So light up the fire and let the flame burn :naughty:
  • Eirenist wrote: »
    A local parish priest was asked to conduct the funeral of a parishioner, who had left a list of hymns to be sung at the crematorium. They were apparently culled from the TV programme 'Songs of Praise', for he was not a churchgoer. His wishes were complied with, except for one verse from 'Give me joy in my heart' - that which begins 'Give me oil in my lamp, keep me burning', which was thought inappropriate - or perhaps a bit too appropriate.

    Good job then that he didn't mention another Songs of Praise favourite, Colours of Day (which I have had to play at a crematorium) with its chorus of So light up the fire and let the flame burn :naughty:

    Or Lord the light with the request to "set our hearts on fire"?
  • There are so many freaking contemporary songs which ask God to set us/me/the church on fire. I keep wondering if the idiot songwriters have ever stopped to visualize what they're asking.

    Mind you, there are days when I could pray the same thing (about the church, I mean).
  • @Lamb Chopped Why do you think a lot of us won't touch most "contemporary" worship songs with a barge-pole?
  • A prayer allegedly spoken by a keen Christian student many years ago: "Lord, if there be any spark of revival, any little flame ... Lord, water it".
  • EnochEnoch Shipmate
    I think I can beat that for bad taste and incongruity. I attended a secular funeral where as the curtains drew round the coffin, Johnny Cash's Ring of Fire was played!
  • Our local crem reports a lot of requests from a certain age-group for Gracie Fields singing Wish me luck as you wave me goodbye :grin:
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