I'm currently reading Tana French's The Witch Elm and came across this fine bit of writing about dumb things people say regarding cancer. This is at the get-together after Hugo's funeral. His brother is muttering angrily:
"Do you what I've lost count of? The number of people who asked about Hugo smoking. 'Did he smoke' 'But, but I thought he didn't smoke?' Which of course he didn't, not in the last twenty years at any rate, and anyway it wouldn't be remotely relevant if he had; this type of cancer isn't linked to smoking. It's just a, a, a, random vicious bastard. Hugo just had bad luck, a roll of the dice. But we're so desperate, aren't we, to believe that bad luck only happens to people who deserve it. People genuinely can't take it in that someone could die of cancer without bloody well smoking."
I love Tana French all the time but I love her more after that. Everyone asked me if my brother, who died of mouth cancer, smoked and not only did he not, ever, my other brother and I both smoked like chimneys for 25 years and we're doing fine. I hate all the Karma talk.
Did I do x or not? Did I do it right?
And stupid, irrelevant memories from the dim and distant past are often interrupting me.
And I am worried about the corona virus. (We have a busy tourist site on the Jordan River)
I am eating, sleeping, etc as usual. (Apart from having just discovered McVities HobNob biscuits yum, yum and nom, nom).
Nothing major is happening (that wasn't happening a week ago) and it's not the anniversary of anything personal
Although D. smoked (latterly only a few a day), the cancer that killed him wasn't in his lungs, mouth or throat; in fact they said the scans showed nothing on his lungs.
{{{ @Galilit }}}
{{{ @Robert Armin }}}
Cancer is the devil. I'm currently having problems with dizziness, nausea, headaches, and whatnot, and am being sent off for an MRI of my brain, in the hopes that it will allow the docs to figure out why. I feel like a pinball some days.
Still feel the same - I think I am terrifed about the corona virus.
What an insult it'd be after all this to go out with some pathetic pseudo-pneumonia!
I have just realised I haven't posted this year.
I continue to read and I continue to care.
There is never any justice about cancer.
Frankly,
There is no justice.
But I/We continue to care.
For those rejoicing, for those grieving and for those anxiously waiting.
Last week I had a CT scan. Tomorrow I see my oncologist to get the results. It will be the first concrete information on how this course of treatment is going, and how effective it is. If I'm honest, I'm a tad nervous.
Same spot - different outlook! If you get a bit tense in the appointment, just imagine yourself sitting in my living room with my dog giving you wet doggy kisses and snuggling. She's a great pup and we both wish you a good dr. appointment.
Good news. My cancer doesn't seem to be doing anything, so I'm coming off chemo for the time being in the hope this will give me more energy. My prognosis has been doubled, from 6 months to a year. At this rate I'll be proving the words of Fame! So, a year of dissipation and luxury coming up....
Comments
I love Tana French all the time but I love her more after that. Everyone asked me if my brother, who died of mouth cancer, smoked and not only did he not, ever, my other brother and I both smoked like chimneys for 25 years and we're doing fine. I hate all the Karma talk.
It's just an evil, horrible disease, and it makes no sense as to who gets it, and who doesn't in many cases.
Did I do x or not? Did I do it right?
And stupid, irrelevant memories from the dim and distant past are often interrupting me.
And I am worried about the corona virus. (We have a busy tourist site on the Jordan River)
I am eating, sleeping, etc as usual. (Apart from having just discovered McVities HobNob biscuits yum, yum and nom, nom).
Nothing major is happening (that wasn't happening a week ago) and it's not the anniversary of anything personal
I suppose it will "arise and fall away" ...
Bloody cancer.
Fuck cancer and all the unhelpful, ignorant attitudes around it. That Tana French quotation is so apt.
{{{ @Robert Armin }}}
Cancer is the devil. I'm currently having problems with dizziness, nausea, headaches, and whatnot, and am being sent off for an MRI of my brain, in the hopes that it will allow the docs to figure out why. I feel like a pinball some days.
Oh dear Ross... how terrifying.
I hope they can find some solutions even if only to the whatnot
My concerns are smaller. I'm fed up with looking like Gollum, and I'm trying to avoid mirrors.
What an insult it'd be after all this to go out with some pathetic pseudo-pneumonia!
I continue to read and I continue to care.
There is never any justice about cancer.
Frankly,
There is no justice.
But I/We continue to care.
For those rejoicing, for those grieving and for those anxiously waiting.
#teamRossweisse
#teamRossweisse
>votive< Galilit
@Robert Armin - ENJOY!
Laus Deo, and all that, as well, of course.