The thing I find the most insidious about oreos is how people insist on using them as flavouring. Why in the everliving fuck does anyone want their ice cream with bits of shitty dry chocolate-like wafers and essence of hydrogenated high-fructose corn syrup - instead of, say, actual motherfucking chocolate and/or cream?
I've never had one, and I don't think they exist in the UK.
Bloody hell, you've really not be paying attention. Even our small co-op has oreos, oreo thins, oreo double creams, oreo minis, oreo dairy milk, oreo easter eggs, oreo mini eggs and oreo ice cream. The damn things are everywhere.
And all sickly and vile.
The thins aren't bad, actually. There are worse things, like creme eggs.
"Fosters isn't that bad, actually. There are worse things, like Carling"
"Root canal work without anaesthetic isn't that bad, actually. There are worse things, like being flayed."
The thing I find the most insidious about oreos is how people insist on using them as flavouring. Why in the everliving fuck does anyone want their ice cream with bits of shitty dry chocolate-like wafers and essence of hydrogenated high-fructose corn syrup - instead of, say, actual motherfucking chocolate and/or cream?
There you reference a dark seam in the human psyche that no religious Fall theology is equal to the task of explaining.
The thing I find the most insidious about oreos is how people insist on using them as flavouring. Why in the everliving fuck does anyone want their ice cream with bits of shitty dry chocolate-like wafers and essence of hydrogenated high-fructose corn syrup - instead of, say, actual motherfucking chocolate and/or cream?
Because anyone whose system can tolerate American mass-produced ice cream will have no difficulty processing the other industrial waste products that end up in it. The question of taste does not arise.
I've never had one, and I don't think they exist in the UK.
Bloody hell, you've really not be paying attention. Even our small co-op has oreos, oreo thins, oreo double creams, oreo minis, oreo dairy milk, oreo easter eggs, oreo mini eggs and oreo ice cream. The damn things are everywhere.
And all sickly and vile.
The thins aren't bad, actually. There are worse things, like creme eggs.
"Fosters isn't that bad, actually. There are worse things, like Carling"
"Root canal work without anaesthetic isn't that bad, actually. There are worse things, like being flayed."
Why in the everliving fuck does anyone want their ice cream with bits of shitty dry chocolate-like wafers and essence of hydrogenated high-fructose corn syrup - instead of, say, actual motherfucking chocolate and/or cream?
Isn’t the answer obvious? The reason why is to oppress you.
You're all wrong. Oreos taste like that sugar one's parents never let one have. They are memories of that one you got in Sunday School that one time. That one you wanted more of for weeks later. They are the forbidden fruit of childhood made easily available. They taste like outrageous luxury but at a 'this is crappy junkfood' price. And screw you all because I can't have any and now I want some.
I'm oppressed because everytime I see Orfeo's name, my grey matter changes it to Oreo. I like Oreos in my ice cream and feel more oppressed at the thought that Orfeo might not even like Oreos.
I've been oppressed for nearly 20 years by people mistaking the name of the world's first opera for some "cookie" from America.
The truly sad part is, on some large websites where the name "orfeo" was already taken, I resorted to "orfeocookie" as an alternative. That's right, I ended up taking on board what the Yanks were doing to my name. Monteverdi would've been appalled.
Why people eat manufactured cookies/biscuits of any kind I will never understand. They're so easy to make! I learned as a child.
because it is easier to open the packet?
My wife gets pleasure from cooking. For me its a chore. I'm OK with doing chores, but not fancy stuff. I leave that to Mrs Toad, when she gets the urge. Fancy stuff is anything involving more than two steps in the process.
Someone else who doesn’t like Oreos here.
What really oppresses me is the fact we are importing cheap US chocolate. We have perfectly decent cheap chocolate of our own. It is better than Herseys.
The thins aren't bad, actually. There are worse things, like creme eggs.
I wish to oppress you all by going back to the previous page to challenge this appalling assertion - crème eggs truly excellent, so be told. My grandmother worked in the Cadbury's factory checking them for excessive stickiness. I am oppressed by your failure to understand the importance of all things crème egg.
The thins aren't bad, actually. There are worse things, like creme eggs.
I wish to oppress you all by going back to the previous page to challenge this appalling assertion - crème eggs truly excellent, so be told. My grandmother worked in the Cadbury's factory checking them for excessive stickiness. I am oppressed by your failure to understand the importance of all things crème egg.
Creme eggs are what happens when sugar beet is subsidised excessively and there is a mountain of low grade sugar that needs using up.
The thins aren't bad, actually. There are worse things, like creme eggs.
I wish to oppress you all by going back to the previous page to challenge this appalling assertion - crème eggs truly excellent, so be told. My grandmother worked in the Cadbury's factory checking them for excessive stickiness. I am oppressed by your failure to understand the importance of all things crème egg.
Creme eggs are what happens when sugar beet is subsidised excessively and there is a mountain of low grade sugar that needs using up.
I'm kind of assuming that everyone is feeling more than oppressed enough now?
Yeah. Here in Canberra we're going into a shutdown of all 'non-essential' services over the next 48 hours. That's about how long it's going to take to completely settle the list of what's 'essential'.
And the Chief Minister has explicitly told people to stop going out of town unless they really can't avoid it, because almost every coronavirus case in the city so far was picked up elsewhere and brought back. Don't go to Sydney or Melbourne for the weekend, because Sydney or Melbourne is where you're at most risk of getting infected.
I'm going off to be oppressed at church. We have a teeny tiny congregation and expect to be well under the ten person limit. I'm feeling oppressed because Mr. Lamb decided "Ah, we can just use the regular (tiny) room, instead of the larger one Lamb Chopped recommended for social distancing," and we also got into a fight about the common cup and who drinks the remainder. He caved on both health measures, but only after I virtually smacked his head a few times. Here's hoping the Lord will smack his head in a way that keeps him convinced he should not be an idiot.
God bless him and smack him both. He did everything I suggested and more, BUT he did absentmindedly commune someone on the tongue (!) and then us afterward. Grrrrrr. To be fair, I hadn't mentioned that problem. It's a person we have who has .... issues? ... and has really weird idiosyncratic ways of worshipping in public.
Congregation of three, not including the pastor and family. So there's that.
Anyway, we got out of church and went to go pick up some gelato before we all get locked down or told to shelter in place or whatever the next thing is. THREE FREAKING QUARTS. Have told LL not to scoff the lot in a single day.
But because the volume of Oppression is constant, exit Mr Lamb's issues and enter my stepfather, anxiously suggesting that if I have any emergency messages for my mother (who is NOT answering her phone nor returning calls nor initiating them, and he says she isn't angry, ha), he will gladly ferry my words to her and then report back her answer.
Like she couldn't just pick up the phone.
I am SO not going back to seventh grade this way. But right now I don't trust myself to answer him without biting his head off (he THINKS he's being helpful), so will wait until I get a grip.
The thins aren't bad, actually. There are worse things, like creme eggs.
I wish to oppress you all by going back to the previous page to challenge this appalling assertion - crème eggs truly excellent, so be told. My grandmother worked in the Cadbury's factory checking them for excessive stickiness. I am oppressed by your failure to understand the importance of all things crème egg.
I was oppressed by a friend when he heard my opinion of deep fried Mars bars. He keeps going on about it, so I can't have been oppressed enough the first time. Actually, that's enough oppression for me.
...enter my stepfather, anxiously suggesting that if I have any emergency messages for my mother (who is NOT answering her phone nor returning calls nor initiating them, and he says she isn't angry, ha), he will gladly ferry my words to her and then report back her answer.
Wow! 'Will you _please_ ask your mother to pass me the salt' !!
My folks can get up to stuff like this, but (thank God) they're behaving at the moment. Good luck. I might be thinking of a message like 'tell her to take a walk to the nearest cash machine and get some money out in case she needs it in these unusual times - and while she's there, make sure to lick the keypad'
I'm oppressed by my employment situation, which is looking reasonably sure to be due a status update in the not-so-distant future. But imagining how many unemployed there are going to be after this show is over, and how old I am / how long it is since I held a 'real job', the upside is that at least I no longer need the face tattoo to ensure I never have to work again
Yikes! I'm sorry. Mr Lamb will likely lose his day job forever, too, though we knew that would come eventually... but this way? Please God it doesn't kill him first.
Thanks! It's already started. Mr. Lamb came home early today and told me he's being told to go to four days a week (with concomitant paycut, natch). I will not weep bitter tears of woe, as that's one less day he's exposed.
Comments
The thing I find the most insidious about oreos is how people insist on using them as flavouring. Why in the everliving fuck does anyone want their ice cream with bits of shitty dry chocolate-like wafers and essence of hydrogenated high-fructose corn syrup - instead of, say, actual motherfucking chocolate and/or cream?
"Fosters isn't that bad, actually. There are worse things, like Carling"
"Root canal work without anaesthetic isn't that bad, actually. There are worse things, like being flayed."
There you reference a dark seam in the human psyche that no religious Fall theology is equal to the task of explaining.
Because anyone whose system can tolerate American mass-produced ice cream will have no difficulty processing the other industrial waste products that end up in it. The question of taste does not arise.
Fair points all.
That they oppress the haters is an added bonus.
Sounds like some kind of Italian medieval horse.
Yup. High fructose corn syrup.
Why people eat manufactured cookies/biscuits of any kind I will never understand. They're so easy to make! I learned as a child.
So we'll include it. This morning's emails included one selling (or trying to sell) Foreo , which says it's Skincare & Oral Care Devices.
because it is easier to open the packet?
My wife gets pleasure from cooking. For me its a chore. I'm OK with doing chores, but not fancy stuff. I leave that to Mrs Toad, when she gets the urge. Fancy stuff is anything involving more than two steps in the process.
What really oppresses me is the fact we are importing cheap US chocolate. We have perfectly decent cheap chocolate of our own. It is better than Herseys.
People asking a question without using a question mark.
If you eat too much chocolate, the result a few minutes later tastes like Hersheys?
I take it you're not familiar with rhetorical questions.
:notworthy:
I thought they were still questions.
Are you asking me?
Are you Rosencrantz, or Guildenstern?
I wish to oppress you all by going back to the previous page to challenge this appalling assertion - crème eggs truly excellent, so be told. My grandmother worked in the Cadbury's factory checking them for excessive stickiness. I am oppressed by your failure to understand the importance of all things crème egg.
Creme eggs are what happens when sugar beet is subsidised excessively and there is a mountain of low grade sugar that needs using up.
You say that like it's a BAD thing??
Well yes I was. But the question was whether you were asking me, not whether you were asking me.
Yeah. Here in Canberra we're going into a shutdown of all 'non-essential' services over the next 48 hours. That's about how long it's going to take to completely settle the list of what's 'essential'.
And the Chief Minister has explicitly told people to stop going out of town unless they really can't avoid it, because almost every coronavirus case in the city so far was picked up elsewhere and brought back. Don't go to Sydney or Melbourne for the weekend, because Sydney or Melbourne is where you're at most risk of getting infected.
That's probably enough oppression for the moment.
Congregation of three, not including the pastor and family. So there's that.
Anyway, we got out of church and went to go pick up some gelato before we all get locked down or told to shelter in place or whatever the next thing is. THREE FREAKING QUARTS. Have told LL not to scoff the lot in a single day.
I'm glad Pastor Lamb was otherwise sensible.
But because the volume of Oppression is constant, exit Mr Lamb's issues and enter my stepfather, anxiously suggesting that if I have any emergency messages for my mother (who is NOT answering her phone nor returning calls nor initiating them, and he says she isn't angry, ha), he will gladly ferry my words to her and then report back her answer.
Like she couldn't just pick up the phone.
I am SO not going back to seventh grade this way. But right now I don't trust myself to answer him without biting his head off (he THINKS he's being helpful), so will wait until I get a grip.
Public service announcement: How to brûlée a creme egg. My husband tried it and said it was great.
They're dead.
Wow! 'Will you _please_ ask your mother to pass me the salt' !!
My folks can get up to stuff like this, but (thank God) they're behaving at the moment. Good luck. I might be thinking of a message like 'tell her to take a walk to the nearest cash machine and get some money out in case she needs it in these unusual times - and while she's there, make sure to lick the keypad'
I'm oppressed by my employment situation, which is looking reasonably sure to be due a status update in the not-so-distant future. But imagining how many unemployed there are going to be after this show is over, and how old I am / how long it is since I held a 'real job', the upside is that at least I no longer need the face tattoo to ensure I never have to work again