I'm not fucking oppressed enough!

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Comments

  • RooKRooK Admin Emeritus
    Like the tangent-riding man-whore that I am...

    The thing I find the most insidious about oreos is how people insist on using them as flavouring. Why in the everliving fuck does anyone want their ice cream with bits of shitty dry chocolate-like wafers and essence of hydrogenated high-fructose corn syrup - instead of, say, actual motherfucking chocolate and/or cream?
  • KarlLBKarlLB Shipmate
    edited March 2020
    Oreos are the worst biscuits in the world.

    I've never had one, and I don't think they exist in the UK.

    Bloody hell, you've really not be paying attention. Even our small co-op has oreos, oreo thins, oreo double creams, oreo minis, oreo dairy milk, oreo easter eggs, oreo mini eggs and oreo ice cream. The damn things are everywhere.

    And all sickly and vile.

    The thins aren't bad, actually. There are worse things, like creme eggs.

    "Fosters isn't that bad, actually. There are worse things, like Carling"
    "Root canal work without anaesthetic isn't that bad, actually. There are worse things, like being flayed."
  • KarlLBKarlLB Shipmate
    edited March 2020
    RooK wrote: »
    Like the tangent-riding man-whore that I am...

    The thing I find the most insidious about oreos is how people insist on using them as flavouring. Why in the everliving fuck does anyone want their ice cream with bits of shitty dry chocolate-like wafers and essence of hydrogenated high-fructose corn syrup - instead of, say, actual motherfucking chocolate and/or cream?

    There you reference a dark seam in the human psyche that no religious Fall theology is equal to the task of explaining.
  • RooK wrote: »
    Like the tangent-riding man-whore that I am...

    The thing I find the most insidious about oreos is how people insist on using them as flavouring. Why in the everliving fuck does anyone want their ice cream with bits of shitty dry chocolate-like wafers and essence of hydrogenated high-fructose corn syrup - instead of, say, actual motherfucking chocolate and/or cream?

    Because anyone whose system can tolerate American mass-produced ice cream will have no difficulty processing the other industrial waste products that end up in it. The question of taste does not arise.
  • KarlLB wrote: »
    Oreos are the worst biscuits in the world.

    I've never had one, and I don't think they exist in the UK.

    Bloody hell, you've really not be paying attention. Even our small co-op has oreos, oreo thins, oreo double creams, oreo minis, oreo dairy milk, oreo easter eggs, oreo mini eggs and oreo ice cream. The damn things are everywhere.

    And all sickly and vile.

    The thins aren't bad, actually. There are worse things, like creme eggs.

    "Fosters isn't that bad, actually. There are worse things, like Carling"
    "Root canal work without anaesthetic isn't that bad, actually. There are worse things, like being flayed."

    Fair points all.
  • RooK wrote: »
    Why in the everliving fuck does anyone want their ice cream with bits of shitty dry chocolate-like wafers and essence of hydrogenated high-fructose corn syrup - instead of, say, actual motherfucking chocolate and/or cream?
    Isn’t the answer obvious? The reason why is to oppress you.

  • GwaiGwai Epiphanies Host
    You're all wrong. Oreos taste like that sugar one's parents never let one have. They are memories of that one you got in Sunday School that one time. That one you wanted more of for weeks later. They are the forbidden fruit of childhood made easily available. They taste like outrageous luxury but at a 'this is crappy junkfood' price. And screw you all because I can't have any and now I want some.
  • Gwai wrote: »
    You're all wrong.
    I’m not wrong. I love Oreos.

    That they oppress the haters is an added bonus.

  • RooKRooK Admin Emeritus
    I don't see how reinforcing my smug superiority is oppressive.
  • orfeoorfeo Shipmate
    You know what's oppressive. Constantly having to check whether or not you lot are typing the letter 'f'.
  • or
    NOPE NOT TODAY
    eo
  • orfeoorfeo Shipmate
    I see what you did there.
  • BroJamesBroJames Purgatory Host, 8th Day Host
    Don’t you mean orſeo?
  • orfeoorfeo Shipmate
    BroJames wrote: »
    Don’t you mean orſeo?

    Sounds like some kind of Italian medieval horse.
  • RuthRuth Shipmate
    orfeo wrote: »
    Not oil. Corn.

    Yup. High fructose corn syrup.

    Why people eat manufactured cookies/biscuits of any kind I will never understand. They're so easy to make! I learned as a child.
  • Gee DGee D Shipmate
    orfeo wrote: »
    You know what's oppressive. Constantly having to check whether or not you lot are typing the letter 'f'.

    So we'll include it. This morning's emails included one selling (or trying to sell) Foreo , which says it's Skincare & Oral Care Devices.
  • RossweisseRossweisse Hell Host, 8th Day Host
    orfeo wrote: »
    The5thMary wrote: »
    I'm oppressed because everytime I see Orfeo's name, my grey matter changes it to Oreo. I like Oreos in my ice cream and feel more oppressed at the thought that Orfeo might not even like Oreos.

    I've been oppressed for nearly 20 years by people mistaking the name of the world's first opera for some "cookie" from America.

    The truly sad part is, on some large websites where the name "orfeo" was already taken, I resorted to "orfeocookie" as an alternative. That's right, I ended up taking on board what the Yanks were doing to my name. Monteverdi would've been appalled.
    That's all right, @orfeo. We understand.


  • Ruth wrote: »
    orfeo wrote: »
    Not oil. Corn.

    Yup. High fructose corn syrup.

    Why people eat manufactured cookies/biscuits of any kind I will never understand. They're so easy to make! I learned as a child.

    because it is easier to open the packet?

    My wife gets pleasure from cooking. For me its a chore. I'm OK with doing chores, but not fancy stuff. I leave that to Mrs Toad, when she gets the urge. Fancy stuff is anything involving more than two steps in the process.
  • HugalHugal Shipmate
    Someone else who doesn’t like Oreos here.
    What really oppresses me is the fact we are importing cheap US chocolate. We have perfectly decent cheap chocolate of our own. It is better than Herseys.
  • DafydDafyd Shipmate
    Hugal wrote: »
    We have perfectly decent cheap chocolate of our own. It is better than Herseys.
    I don't follow. What is the link between chocolate and Herseys?

  • orfeo wrote: »
    You know what's oppressive. Constantly having to check whether or not you lot are typing the letter 'f'.

    People asking a question without using a question mark.
  • KarlLBKarlLB Shipmate
    Dafyd wrote: »
    Hugal wrote: »
    We have perfectly decent cheap chocolate of our own. It is better than Herseys.
    I don't follow. What is the link between chocolate and Herseys?

    If you eat too much chocolate, the result a few minutes later tastes like Hersheys?
  • orfeoorfeo Shipmate
    orfeo wrote: »
    You know what's oppressive. Constantly having to check whether or not you lot are typing the letter 'f'.

    People asking a question without using a question mark.

    I take it you're not familiar with rhetorical questions.
  • Dafyd wrote: »
    Hugal wrote: »
    We have perfectly decent cheap chocolate of our own. It is better than Herseys.
    I don't follow. What is the link between chocolate and Herseys?

    :notworthy:
  • orfeo wrote: »
    orfeo wrote: »
    You know what's oppressive. Constantly having to check whether or not you lot are typing the letter 'f'.

    People asking a question without using a question mark.

    I take it you're not familiar with rhetorical questions.

    I thought they were still questions.
  • orfeoorfeo Shipmate
    orfeo wrote: »
    orfeo wrote: »
    You know what's oppressive. Constantly having to check whether or not you lot are typing the letter 'f'.

    People asking a question without using a question mark.

    I take it you're not familiar with rhetorical questions.

    I thought they were still questions.

    Are you asking me?
  • Were you the one making the comment to which I responded?
  • jbohnjbohn Shipmate
    Were you the one making the comment to which I responded?

    Are you Rosencrantz, or Guildenstern?
  • HelenEvaHelenEva Shipmate

    The thins aren't bad, actually. There are worse things, like creme eggs.

    I wish to oppress you all by going back to the previous page to challenge this appalling assertion - crème eggs truly excellent, so be told. My grandmother worked in the Cadbury's factory checking them for excessive stickiness. I am oppressed by your failure to understand the importance of all things crème egg.
  • HelenEva wrote: »

    The thins aren't bad, actually. There are worse things, like creme eggs.

    I wish to oppress you all by going back to the previous page to challenge this appalling assertion - crème eggs truly excellent, so be told. My grandmother worked in the Cadbury's factory checking them for excessive stickiness. I am oppressed by your failure to understand the importance of all things crème egg.

    Creme eggs are what happens when sugar beet is subsidised excessively and there is a mountain of low grade sugar that needs using up.
  • HelenEvaHelenEva Shipmate
    HelenEva wrote: »

    The thins aren't bad, actually. There are worse things, like creme eggs.

    I wish to oppress you all by going back to the previous page to challenge this appalling assertion - crème eggs truly excellent, so be told. My grandmother worked in the Cadbury's factory checking them for excessive stickiness. I am oppressed by your failure to understand the importance of all things crème egg.

    Creme eggs are what happens when sugar beet is subsidised excessively and there is a mountain of low grade sugar that needs using up.

    You say that like it's a BAD thing??
  • They were lovely, then Kraft downgraded the chocolate from nice to nasty, and now they're decidedly not lovely.
  • At least they're not the abomination that is low sugar Dairy Milk (tried once and never again)
  • orfeoorfeo Shipmate
    Were you the one making the comment to which I responded?

    Well yes I was. But the question was whether you were asking me, not whether you were asking me.
  • I'm kind of assuming that everyone is feeling more than oppressed enough now?
  • orfeoorfeo Shipmate
    Doc Tor wrote: »
    I'm kind of assuming that everyone is feeling more than oppressed enough now?

    Yeah. Here in Canberra we're going into a shutdown of all 'non-essential' services over the next 48 hours. That's about how long it's going to take to completely settle the list of what's 'essential'.

    And the Chief Minister has explicitly told people to stop going out of town unless they really can't avoid it, because almost every coronavirus case in the city so far was picked up elsewhere and brought back. Don't go to Sydney or Melbourne for the weekend, because Sydney or Melbourne is where you're at most risk of getting infected.

    That's probably enough oppression for the moment.
  • I'm going off to be oppressed at church. We have a teeny tiny congregation and expect to be well under the ten person limit. I'm feeling oppressed because Mr. Lamb decided "Ah, we can just use the regular (tiny) room, instead of the larger one Lamb Chopped recommended for social distancing," and we also got into a fight about the common cup and who drinks the remainder. He caved on both health measures, but only after I virtually smacked his head a few times. Here's hoping the Lord will smack his head in a way that keeps him convinced he should not be an idiot.
  • RossweisseRossweisse Hell Host, 8th Day Host
    How did it turn out, LC?
  • God bless him and smack him both. He did everything I suggested and more, BUT he did absentmindedly commune someone on the tongue (!) and then us afterward. Grrrrrr. To be fair, I hadn't mentioned that problem. It's a person we have who has .... issues? ... and has really weird idiosyncratic ways of worshipping in public.

    Congregation of three, not including the pastor and family. So there's that.

    Anyway, we got out of church and went to go pick up some gelato before we all get locked down or told to shelter in place or whatever the next thing is. THREE FREAKING QUARTS. Have told LL not to scoff the lot in a single day.
  • RossweisseRossweisse Hell Host, 8th Day Host
    Good luck with that!

    I'm glad Pastor Lamb was otherwise sensible.
  • Praise be to God.

    But because the volume of Oppression is constant, exit Mr Lamb's issues and enter my stepfather, anxiously suggesting that if I have any emergency messages for my mother (who is NOT answering her phone nor returning calls nor initiating them, and he says she isn't angry, ha), he will gladly ferry my words to her and then report back her answer.

    Like she couldn't just pick up the phone.

    I am SO not going back to seventh grade this way. But right now I don't trust myself to answer him without biting his head off (he THINKS he's being helpful), so will wait until I get a grip.
  • HelenEva wrote: »

    The thins aren't bad, actually. There are worse things, like creme eggs.

    I wish to oppress you all by going back to the previous page to challenge this appalling assertion - crème eggs truly excellent, so be told. My grandmother worked in the Cadbury's factory checking them for excessive stickiness. I am oppressed by your failure to understand the importance of all things crème egg.

    Public service announcement: How to brûlée a creme egg. My husband tried it and said it was great.
  • I was oppressed by a friend when he heard my opinion of deep fried Mars bars. He keeps going on about it, so I can't have been oppressed enough the first time. Actually, that's enough oppression for me.
  • jbohn wrote: »
    Were you the one making the comment to which I responded?

    Are you Rosencrantz, or Guildenstern?

    They're dead.
  • edited March 2020
    ...enter my stepfather, anxiously suggesting that if I have any emergency messages for my mother (who is NOT answering her phone nor returning calls nor initiating them, and he says she isn't angry, ha), he will gladly ferry my words to her and then report back her answer.

    Wow! 'Will you _please_ ask your mother to pass me the salt' !!

    My folks can get up to stuff like this, but (thank God) they're behaving at the moment. Good luck. I might be thinking of a message like 'tell her to take a walk to the nearest cash machine and get some money out in case she needs it in these unusual times - and while she's there, make sure to lick the keypad' :smile:

    I'm oppressed by my employment situation, which is looking reasonably sure to be due a status update in the not-so-distant future. But imagining how many unemployed there are going to be after this show is over, and how old I am / how long it is since I held a 'real job', the upside is that at least I no longer need the face tattoo to ensure I never have to work again :smile:
  • Yikes! I'm sorry. Mr Lamb will likely lose his day job forever, too, though we knew that would come eventually... but this way? Please God it doesn't kill him first.
  • @Lamb Chopped, prayers for you, Mr Chopped, and all whose work is threatened.
  • Thanks! It's already started. Mr. Lamb came home early today and told me he's being told to go to four days a week (with concomitant paycut, natch). I will not weep bitter tears of woe, as that's one less day he's exposed.
  • RossweisseRossweisse Hell Host, 8th Day Host
    I am sorry nevertheless, @Lamb Chopped. Prayers ascending.
  • MaryLouiseMaryLouise Purgatory Host, 8th Day Host
    I'm sorry too, @Lamb Chopped. It will be so hard for him to accept even if it's happening all around.
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