France are ready to take over. A massive model of the Louvre appears. Across the stage go performers dressed as the various famous pieces of art in the collection. Ending with Thierry and Practice as the Mona Lisa and Winged Victory. As they go off we see that a large copy of Ship of Fools by Bosch. Only this time it is made from Power Tools.
The Antarctica delegation start up the dry ice machines, having forgotten that one of them blew up during the act. The stage fills with dry ice from the left and the ceiling of the auditorium is filled with acrid black smoke.
When the mists have cleared, the band are there stark naked. having removed their thick sealskin parkas in the green room (or what due to spillage of prune juice looks more like a purple room) and due to over indulgence of piledrivers are too drunk to care about this. The dancers in the penguin costumes do not make an appearance for fear of the Klingons.
The audience, at least the drunk portion of it starts a chant of "Penguins, penguins, penguins, in time with the band, playing a quickstep and singing snow, snow, quick quick snow.
A few of the even more drunken members of the audience start removing their clothing before the organisers try to stop this by suddenly cutting off the sound and blacking out the stage. Undeterred some of the audience have started a naked conga in the aisles.
Practice: And now ladies and gentlemen the scores
Italy 50 points
Ireland 54 points
Lithuania 58 points
The Klingon Empire 61 points
Antartica 64 points
France 65 points
and the winner
Wales 72 points
Congratualation Wales.
To: Klingons@Qo’noS.BetaQ
From: VaduzLiechtenstein@AlpenhornEnterprises.eu
Psst! We have a little job for you. The honor of the Proud Liechtensteiners is at stake. Lithuania indeed! 🤔 What’s in it for you? Endless supplies of prune juice and piledrivers, plus as many baguettes as you can eat!
(Helena will never find out; she fled the country last week, destination unknown.)
Practice: You would think after all theses years we would get it right.
USA got 45 points. Well done USA.
The Ship Eurovison manager Wilfred Wifredsonnnn has call for a recount.
Wilfred Wifredsonnnn. OK here are the final results. Ignore the screaming from the counting area. It is just the man counting the points being told he will be on the UK team for the next 25 years.
Wales 75
France 65
Antartica 64
Klingon Empire 61
Lichtenstien 58
Ireland 54
Italy 50
USA 45
And now we just await the Welsh entry to come and get the trophy. What do you mean they are back in Wales? Well they will have to do something.
USA accepts the apology! Besides, Italy is probably grateful to be knocked from last place!
I wonder if anyone recognized the gargoyles (or are they grotesques?) in the USA entry. They originally came from Notre Dame in Paris and have been living in Orlando for quite some time!
USA accepts the apology! Besides, Italy is probably grateful to be knocked from last place!
I wonder if anyone recognized the gargoyles (or are they grotesques?) in the USA entry. They originally came from Notre Dame in Paris and have been living in Orlando for quite some time!
The Welsh contingent are heard muttering off screen. Eventually their representative, Gladys Friday, comes onto the screen and begins a heartfelt acceptance speech.
After the first five minutes of the speech, someone finally gets the message through to Gladys that she's on mute.
Gladys: Oh! Sorry about that. Anyway, my Welsh cakes are going cold so I'll keep it short. Thank you so much for this amazing award. It's lovely to see the Land of Song getting recognition on an international stage. (There are dark mutterings of 'not before time' and some scabrous remarks about England in the background.)
We look forward next year to welcoming you to the contest, which I can confirm will be held in Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrobwllllantysiliogogogoch. Please start saving now for your promotional items, as they will need to be twice the price of the usual merchandise due to size.
USA accepts the apology! Besides, Italy is probably grateful to be knocked from last place!
I wonder if anyone recognized the gargoyles (or are they grotesques?) in the USA entry. They originally came from Notre Dame in Paris and have been living in Orlando for quite some time!
The Italian broadcasters and government were quite happy to not win, as they didn't want the cost of staging it after the year they're having.
Practice: Well ladies and gentlemen that wraps it up for this year. Just before we go a word from our sponsor.
Sponsor: Please note we are having a sale on secondhand power tools in the lobby. Free prune juice with every purchase.
Thierry: Farewell and Goodnight
Comments
When the mists have cleared, the band are there stark naked. having removed their thick sealskin parkas in the green room (or what due to spillage of prune juice looks more like a purple room) and due to over indulgence of piledrivers are too drunk to care about this. The dancers in the penguin costumes do not make an appearance for fear of the Klingons.
The audience, at least the drunk portion of it starts a chant of "Penguins, penguins, penguins, in time with the band, playing a quickstep and singing snow, snow, quick quick snow.
A few of the even more drunken members of the audience start removing their clothing before the organisers try to stop this by suddenly cutting off the sound and blacking out the stage. Undeterred some of the audience have started a naked conga in the aisles.
Italy 50 points
Ireland 54 points
Lithuania 58 points
The Klingon Empire 61 points
Antartica 64 points
France 65 points
and the winner
Wales 72 points
Congratualation Wales.
From: VaduzLiechtenstein@AlpenhornEnterprises.eu
Psst! We have a little job for you. The honor of the Proud Liechtensteiners is at stake. Lithuania indeed! 🤔 What’s in it for you? Endless supplies of prune juice and piledrivers, plus as many baguettes as you can eat!
(Helena will never find out; she fled the country last week, destination unknown.)
'Ah, but then we probably came out ahead of a lot of other countries that weren't in it either. Like England.'
'That's alright then'.
I do not believe it! ....and after our generous gesture, too.
Let’s face it; you couldn’t come out behind England.😉
You got 12 points from Liechtenstein, plus a free castle thrown in! 😁
USA got 45 points. Well done USA.
The Ship Eurovison manager Wilfred Wifredsonnnn has call for a recount.
Wales 75
France 65
Antartica 64
Klingon Empire 61
Lichtenstien 58
Ireland 54
Italy 50
USA 45
And now we just await the Welsh entry to come and get the trophy. What do you mean they are back in Wales? Well they will have to do something.
I wonder if anyone recognized the gargoyles (or are they grotesques?) in the USA entry. They originally came from Notre Dame in Paris and have been living in Orlando for quite some time!
Disney nerd puts her hand up: Me, me! I did!
After the first five minutes of the speech, someone finally gets the message through to Gladys that she's on mute.
Gladys: Oh! Sorry about that. Anyway, my Welsh cakes are going cold so I'll keep it short. Thank you so much for this amazing award. It's lovely to see the Land of Song getting recognition on an international stage. (There are dark mutterings of 'not before time' and some scabrous remarks about England in the background.)
We look forward next year to welcoming you to the contest, which I can confirm will be held in Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrobwllllantysiliogogogoch. Please start saving now for your promotional items, as they will need to be twice the price of the usual merchandise due to size.
Nos da to you all and see you by 'ere next year.
The Italian broadcasters and government were quite happy to not win, as they didn't want the cost of staging it after the year they're having.
Sponsor: Please note we are having a sale on secondhand power tools in the lobby. Free prune juice with every purchase.
Thierry: Farewell and Goodnight