Ship Eurovision

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  • HugalHugal Shipmate
    France are ready to take over. A massive model of the Louvre appears. Across the stage go performers dressed as the various famous pieces of art in the collection. Ending with Thierry and Practice as the Mona Lisa and Winged Victory. As they go off we see that a large copy of Ship of Fools by Bosch. Only this time it is made from Power Tools.
  • HugalHugal Shipmate
    Thierry: The scores are in. We will give a little longer any other country who wishes to take part in interval act, but we have a winner.
  • balaambalaam Shipmate
    The Antarctica delegation start up the dry ice machines, having forgotten that one of them blew up during the act. The stage fills with dry ice from the left and the ceiling of the auditorium is filled with acrid black smoke.

    When the mists have cleared, the band are there stark naked. having removed their thick sealskin parkas in the green room (or what due to spillage of prune juice looks more like a purple room) and due to over indulgence of piledrivers are too drunk to care about this. The dancers in the penguin costumes do not make an appearance for fear of the Klingons.

    The audience, at least the drunk portion of it starts a chant of "Penguins, penguins, penguins, in time with the band, playing a quickstep and singing snow, snow, quick quick snow.

    A few of the even more drunken members of the audience start removing their clothing before the organisers try to stop this by suddenly cutting off the sound and blacking out the stage. Undeterred some of the audience have started a naked conga in the aisles.
  • HugalHugal Shipmate
    Practice: And now ladies and gentlemen the scores
    Italy 50 points
    Ireland 54 points
    Lithuania 58 points
    The Klingon Empire 61 points
    Antartica 64 points
    France 65 points
    and the winner
    Wales 72 points
    Congratualation Wales.
  • MiffyMiffy Shipmate
    To: Klingons@Qo’noS.BetaQ
    From: VaduzLiechtenstein@AlpenhornEnterprises.eu

    Psst! We have a little job for you. The honor of the Proud Liechtensteiners is at stake. Lithuania indeed! 🤔 What’s in it for you? Endless supplies of prune juice and piledrivers, plus as many baguettes as you can eat!

    (Helena will never find out; she fled the country last week, destination unknown.)



  • FirenzeFirenze Shipmate, Host Emeritus
    'Feck! How did we come behind Lithuania and them not even in the competition?'

    'Ah, but then we probably came out ahead of a lot of other countries that weren't in it either. Like England.'

    'That's alright then'.
  • MiffyMiffy Shipmate
    Cut to shot of the chairperson of the Liechtensteiner Euro Entertainments Committee, head in hands

    I do not believe it! ....and after our generous gesture, too.
  • MiffyMiffy Shipmate
    Firenze wrote: »
    'Feck! How did we come behind Lithuania and them not even in the competition?'

    'Ah, but then we probably came out ahead of a lot of other countries that weren't in it either. Like England.'

    'That's alright then'.

    Let’s face it; you couldn’t come out behind England.😉
  • jedijudyjedijudy Heaven Host, 8th Day Host
    USA got no points? :bawling: :heartbreak:
  • MiffyMiffy Shipmate
    jedijudy wrote: »
    USA got no points? :bawling: :heartbreak:

    You got 12 points from Liechtenstein, plus a free castle thrown in! 😁

  • jedijudyjedijudy Heaven Host, 8th Day Host
    Thank you, Miffy and Liechtenstein! I notice the castle has a rainbow over it!!
  • HugalHugal Shipmate
    Practice: You would think after all theses years we would get it right.
    USA got 45 points. Well done USA.
    The Ship Eurovison manager Wilfred Wifredsonnnn has call for a recount.
  • HugalHugal Shipmate
    Wilfred Wifredsonnnn. OK here are the final results. Ignore the screaming from the counting area. It is just the man counting the points being told he will be on the UK team for the next 25 years.
    Wales 75
    France 65
    Antartica 64
    Klingon Empire 61
    Lichtenstien 58
    Ireland 54
    Italy 50
    USA 45
    And now we just await the Welsh entry to come and get the trophy. What do you mean they are back in Wales? Well they will have to do something.
  • HugalHugal Shipmate
    Practice: We would like to appoligiese to the US delgation. Just remember we gave you that big statue in New York.
  • MiffyMiffy Shipmate
    Luckily for Mssrs Thierry and Practice, our email to the Klingons bounced back.
  • jedijudyjedijudy Heaven Host, 8th Day Host
    USA accepts the apology! Besides, Italy is probably grateful to be knocked from last place! :joy:

    I wonder if anyone recognized the gargoyles (or are they grotesques?) in the USA entry. They originally came from Notre Dame in Paris and have been living in Orlando for quite some time!
  • Gill HGill H Shipmate
    jedijudy wrote: »
    USA accepts the apology! Besides, Italy is probably grateful to be knocked from last place! :joy:

    I wonder if anyone recognized the gargoyles (or are they grotesques?) in the USA entry. They originally came from Notre Dame in Paris and have been living in Orlando for quite some time!

    Disney nerd puts her hand up: Me, me! I did!
  • Gill HGill H Shipmate
    The Welsh contingent are heard muttering off screen. Eventually their representative, Gladys Friday, comes onto the screen and begins a heartfelt acceptance speech.

    After the first five minutes of the speech, someone finally gets the message through to Gladys that she's on mute.

    Gladys: Oh! Sorry about that. Anyway, my Welsh cakes are going cold so I'll keep it short. Thank you so much for this amazing award. It's lovely to see the Land of Song getting recognition on an international stage. (There are dark mutterings of 'not before time' and some scabrous remarks about England in the background.)

    We look forward next year to welcoming you to the contest, which I can confirm will be held in Llanfair­pwllgwyngyll­gogery­chwyrn­drobwll­llan­tysilio­gogo­goch. Please start saving now for your promotional items, as they will need to be twice the price of the usual merchandise due to size.

    Nos da to you all and see you by 'ere next year.

  • PendragonPendragon Shipmate
    jedijudy wrote: »
    USA accepts the apology! Besides, Italy is probably grateful to be knocked from last place! :joy:

    I wonder if anyone recognized the gargoyles (or are they grotesques?) in the USA entry. They originally came from Notre Dame in Paris and have been living in Orlando for quite some time!

    The Italian broadcasters and government were quite happy to not win, as they didn't want the cost of staging it after the year they're having.
  • HugalHugal Shipmate
    Practice: Well ladies and gentlemen that wraps it up for this year. Just before we go a word from our sponsor.
    Sponsor: Please note we are having a sale on secondhand power tools in the lobby. Free prune juice with every purchase.
    Thierry: Farewell and Goodnight
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