Today I Consign To Hell -the All Saints version

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  • It's that time of year. Down with mosquitoes. They fly straight out of Satan's bottom.

    Absolutely, every one of the bitey bastards.

  • PigletPiglet All Saints Host, Circus Host
    A small matter in The Grand Scheme Of Things, but TICTH the online job application form I was filling in this afternoon for the Scottish Qualifications Authority.

    The form itself was fine - everything filled in beautifully - but when I got to the Equal Opportunity page, the bit that asked for your marital status had only three options: Married, Single or "prefer not to say", none of which really applies. If they want to know, why can't they offer options for those of us who are widowed, separated, divorced, common-law or in a Civil Partnership?

    I tried leaving it blank, but it was having none of it, and wouldn't let me past the page. With any luck, the fact that I put "Mrs" as my title and mentioned in my supporting statement that I'm trying to rebuild my life after my husband's death will give them a hint ...
  • kingsfoldkingsfold Shipmate
    TICTH the "gentlemen," and I use that in it's very loosest definition, who were having a barney outside my flat at some ungodly hour this morning. I suspect alcohol may have been an initiator, but there was a great deal of effing and shouting. It didn't get much beyond "F*ck you" "F*ck off yourself", rinse and repeat, then something that sounded like a blow and someone else telling them to cool it (or similar).
    I wasn't sleeping well anyway, and was woken up by this one a couple of occasions. I did not need it.
  • PigletPiglet All Saints Host, Circus Host
    Crikey, Kingsfold - that sounds frightening. I hate witnessing any kind of fisticuffs - it scares the tripes out of me!
  • kingsfoldkingsfold Shipmate
    edited July 2020
    It was audio rather than visual... I had contemplated getting out of bed and leaning out the window to tell them to shut up, but at that point I heard what sounded like a blow. So I stayed exactly where I was and dived under the duvet! (the sounds moved off and I managed to get back to sleep for a bit)

    Last time I witnessed something/got involved, I was summoned to court four times, turned up in person three times and on the last time of asking the defendant pleaded guilty before we actually got into court so we were all sent home. Again. (But finally rather than you'll be back...)
  • I foiled* an attempted robbery at our local Co-Op back in 2004. Lots of interviews with the Police, an identity parade, and a summons to Court.

    Just the one trip to Court, as the defendant pleaded Guilty at the last minute, so at least I didn't have to stand up and be told that YOUR EVIDENCE IS NOTHING BUT A TISSUE OF LIES!! and all that stuff.

    The guy got 4 years in jail...
    :open_mouth:

    *The would-be robber pushed his way behind the till, assaulting the 8-months pregnant cashier whilst doing so. As he tried to leave, I bashed him over the head with a bottle of beer. In the fillums, he would have fallen over, but he didn't - so I bashed him over the head again, with a second bottle of beer. He still didn't fall over, but rushed off, soaked in beer and broken glass, and therefore easily identifiable. The idiot got into his car, and drove off past the shop, making it easy for the observant 10-year old nephew of another of the shop staff to take his number :lol: . The Police arrived very quickly - as the idiot drove past! - and so were in hot pursuit straightaway. The DS who interviewed me later had some difficulty in stifling his laughter, having seen the shop video of me valiantly bashing away with bottle after bottle. I suspect I was lucky not to have been charged with assault myself.

    I'm not a violent person, but...
    :grimace:
  • BroJamesBroJames Purgatory Host, 8th Day Host
    Well done to you BF. It would be very easy just to freeze and do nothing.
  • That's more-or-less what my Ma said when I told her...
    :smile:
  • It's good to know that someone on Ship is able to repel boarders, if necessary.
  • Har, har! Shiver me timbers (or beer-bottles...)!
    :grimace:
  • DooneDoone Shipmate
    Well done, @Bishops Finger and splice the main brace (whatever that means 😆!).
  • It is 98 degrees F where I live right now, and I just received my first Christmas catalogue in the mail. This seems so wrong somehow
  • HuiaHuia Shipmate
    GI maybe it was a late mid-year "Christmas" - or they were giving you time to save up to buy their products.
  • A well-known C of E liturgist, in one of his books, suggested that clergy who might be rather 'busy' at Christmas would do well to think of celebrating the Incarnation privately at some point during August...
    :open_mouth:
  • When I was serving in West Africa, Christmas was followed almost immediately by Harvest Festival. It made sense in a climate where the rainy season lasted from May to October and crops were harvested a month or two later.
  • @ Bishops Finger. The funny part is I have just about finished my Christmas shopping as I do it all year for just that reason even though now retired as it spreads out the cost as Huia suggested. I just do not want to think about it before Advent, let alone in the middle of Summer.
  • HelixHelix Shipmate
    I am CTH procrastination. I've had an amazing abundance of free time and done the square root of bugger all in that time which is dispiriting, as there is quite a few bits and bobs on my to-do list.
  • Ah! Procrastination is indeed the Thief of Time!

    TICTH those to-do lists that Never Get Done...
    :wink:

    Or, as My Old Dad used to say 'Never do today what you can put off until tomorrow!'.
  • Don't "To Do" lists know that *they* are supposed to do the work that's listed on them?
  • PigletPiglet All Saints Host, Circus Host
    GK - if only!
  • It is 98 degrees F where I live right now, and I just received my first Christmas catalogue in the mail.

    I don't know if this will turn out to be, as forecast, the hottest day of the year so far in the UK, but it seems that Christmas card catalogues are like flying ants - turn the temperature up a notch and out they all fly.
    The first Christmas catalogue of 2020 landed on my doormat this morning.
  • Hmm. I have a feeling that, unless HM the Queen decrees otherwise, Christmas this year will be largely cancelled.

    O dear.
    :naughty:
  • In the US, some people are celebrating Christmas early--or at least putting up artificial trees and such--to boost morale. IIRC, some vendors are happy to sell to them.
  • RossweisseRossweisse Hell Host, 8th Day Host
    TICTH the loudmouthed Trumpistas who shouted across me during my infusion the other day. (I asked the nurse, as I always do, for a chair in a quiet corner; this one said, apologetically, "This is all I have, and I'm afraid it's not very quiet." Understatement Alert!)

    As I got settled, they were discussing the McCloskeys, who screamed and pointed firearms at a crowd of peaceful protesters on their way to the mayor's nearby domicile. That the protesters were peaceful is not in question; the entire affair was caught on video, from numerous viewpoints.

    But this pair were talking about it from the McCloskeys' (demonstrably false) account: that the protesters broke down a decorative wrought iron gate across a sidewalk to get in (nope: the gate was open, and the protesters walked in without damaging it - and the McCloskeys have refused to release the home surveillance videos that would have shown how it was later damaged), that members of the crowd - or "mob," as my fellow patients were pleased to call it - shouted threats: to kill the McCloskeys, to kill their dog, to take over and move into their house, to burn their house down. But the videos don't back up any of that.

    I finally pointed that out, only to be told that "you can't always trust videos." I was called a "libtard," although they were visibly startled when I dissected the problems with the couple's unsafe gun handling. They moved on to discuss their mutual loathing of Hillary! and other subhumans, including George Floyd ("He was a thug! a felon!"), while I focused on getting my blood pressure down from its ridiculously high level, so that I could have my damned infusion and get the hell out of there. Between the two of them and the oldies radio station that someone turned on, it was impossible to concentrate. Please, Lord, don't let me encounter either of them again, ever, amen.
  • Holy God, have mercy! That is utterly horrible!

    <votive> for Ross and peace of mind and body!
  • PigletPiglet All Saints Host, Circus Host
    Crikey Ross - that's the absolute last thing you needed. From what I've read about the McCloskeys, they'd make the neighbours from hell look like the neighbours from heaven.
  • That sounds hideous. I'm very grateful I've never had anything similar in a hospital
  • Hideous indeed.

    If such a ghastly thing happened to me in a hospital, I would call VERY LOUDLY for Security...
    :naughty:
  • RossweisseRossweisse Hell Host, 8th Day Host
    There are a surprising number of people of that sort around here.

    My blood pressure was an astonishing (and rather scary) 199 over 76 the first time the nurse took it; half an hour of slow in-through-the-nose-out-through-the-mouth breathing later, it was a more reasonable 136 over 76.

    Did I mention that the both of the Fox News acolytes had their (paper, so they probably don’t own their own) masks down around their necks the entire time they were in there?
  • One can only hope that evolution takes its course, and that such boneheaded idiots die out very quickly indeed...preferably before November...
    :naughty:
  • Rossweisse wrote: »
    There are a surprising number of people of that sort around here.

    My blood pressure was an astonishing (and rather scary) 199 over 76 the first time the nurse took it; half an hour of slow in-through-the-nose-out-through-the-mouth breathing later, it was a more reasonable 136 over 76.

    Did I mention that the both of the Fox News acolytes had their (paper, so they probably don’t own their own) masks down around their necks the entire time they were in there?

    Over here staff would have required them to wear masks while in hospital, I think.
  • HuiaHuia Shipmate
    Gags might have been more appropriate.
  • PigletPiglet All Saints Host, Circus Host
    Too right!
  • TICTH my apparent inability to overcome procrastination
  • O I don't know - you managed to finish that post...or did you?
    :wink:
  • TICTH my apparent inability to overcome procrastination

    Likewise. I am on the point of consigning myself entirely......
  • Yes, me, too.

    I have written an impressive August to-do list to try to get myself back on track.
  • Depression - not me, but someone close is going through a bout which makes them difficult to get along with ☹️
  • PigletPiglet All Saints Host, Circus Host
    I'm going to consign procrastination to Hell when I get around to it ... :mrgreen:
  • If I can get organised, I’ll join you @Piglet
  • FirenzeFirenze Shipmate, Host Emeritus
    I'll put it on my To Do list. Tomorrow.
  • PuzzlerPuzzler Shipmate
    I deferred my morning walk to do some admin and now it is raining.
  • PigletPiglet All Saints Host, Circus Host
    Here it started raining before I got the chance to do any deferring ... :mrgreen:
  • Penny SPenny S Shipmate
    There's a lovely lost ring story on today's Today programme on BBC R4, at 1hr42. From Edinburgh.
  • I dunno - putting things off sometimes seems to need such a lot of effort...
    :wink:
  • TICTH the dumping of waste in beautiful areas - a large amount of waste has been dumped at a local viewpoint

    https://www.walesonline.co.uk/news/wales-news/flytippers-ruin-one-wales-most-18707559
  • I read that ... appalling but, alas, all too common. There was lots of rubbish there when we drove that way a couple of years ago.
  • Penny SPenny S Shipmate
    How extraordinary. Round here it tends to be dumped in places that are difficult to see until you arrive at it. Furtive places.
  • Fawkes CatFawkes Cat Shipmate
    edited August 2020
    Penny S wrote: »
    How extraordinary. Round here it tends to be dumped in places that are difficult to see until you arrive at it. Furtive places.

    I'm not a flytipper, but if I was, my priority would be somewhere where I could tip without getting caught. Penny's furtive places meet that criterion - but so do Priscilla's beauty spots in (importantly) the middle of nowhere: they're both the sort of place where you're unlikely to meet someone else.
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