Alexander Boris de Pfeffel Johnson

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Comments

  • TelfordTelford Shipmate
    The Lord Protector's latest excuse for incompetence is a classic - the exam results fiasco was caused by a mutant algorithm.

    One is tempted to believe that he, too, may be a mutation of something...

    What record was held by our second Lord Protector ?
  • Bishops FingerBishops Finger Shipmate
    edited August 2020
    Not sure what you're getting at, but here's some information:
    https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Richard_Cromwell
  • Bishops FingerBishops Finger Shipmate
    edited August 2020
    You may well ask.

    There have been other photos of the Lord Protector III, all showing him without a mask (and apparently not socially-distancing very well, either, though it's hard to tell sometimes on account of camera angle etc.).

    Maybe there's an Evil Plot to get him infected with the Plague again?
  • Where is his fucking mask

    This is why the government guidelines make no sense. Shoppers have to wear masks, but shopkeepers don't. Some people have to wear masks in school corridors, but not in classrooms.

    I actually don't have a clue whether anyone in that picture should be wearing a mask under current guidelines, which is an absurd state of affairs.

    I'd like to present a very simple rule:

    If you are in a space that also contains people you don't live with, you should be wearing a mask.

    (And then add very limited exceptions, such as if you're in a facility licensed to sell food, operating under Covid-era guidelines, and you are currently eating.)
  • Simple, and easily remembered (would you also add those exempt because of medical reasons?).

    But...the Lord Protector III (who Rose From The Bed On The Third Day) follows a completely separate set of rules from the rest of us, as do members of his entourage *government*.
  • Where is his fucking mask
    I'd like to present a very simple rule:

    If you are in a space that also contains people you don't live with, you should be wearing a mask.
    Or in the not-quite words of Queen
    Put a mask on your face
    You big disgrace
    Spreading your germs all over the place
  • The first two lines would look well on a T-shirt!
    :naughty:

    (There might not be enough room on the T-shirt for all 3 lines...)
  • Curses! And there was me, just about to go out and make a fortune by selling such T-shirts...

    Foiled again...
    :cry:
  • TelfordTelford Shipmate
    edited August 2020
    Not sure what you're getting at, but here's some information:
    https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Richard_Cromwell

    Longest lived male British head of state. His record for longest lived was beaten by Elizabeth II a few years ago. One of my favourite quiz questions.
  • Bishops FingerBishops Finger Shipmate
    edited August 2020
    Yes indeed - quite right.

    Well done, that boy - go to the top of the class!
  • Where is his fucking mask

    This is why the government guidelines make no sense. Shoppers have to wear masks, but shopkeepers don't. Some people have to wear masks in school corridors, but not in classrooms.

    I actually don't have a clue whether anyone in that picture should be wearing a mask under current guidelines, which is an absurd state of affairs.

    There are some anomalies certainly. As worship leader (here in Scotland), leading from a distance, I'm allowed to be unmasked (until Communion or walking up and down the aisles). But worshippers are supposed to mask-up throughout, even with the 2 metre distance being maintained. And the new rubrics about the order of sanitising hands before or after putting on/taking off the mask etc, is doing my head in.

    Some folks observe that in church they're going to be asked to hand-sanitise all over the place, wipe with anti-bacterial wipes etc, whereas in the supermarket of course they're touching surfaces and goods all the time, that have been breathed over and touched already by numerous others. Ah well. If there are going to be any surges in the statistics, I would much rather it was tracked and traced to the local Spar than us at The Shack of the Holy Knuckle-Duster.
  • Telford wrote: »
    Not sure what you're getting at, but here's some information:
    https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Richard_Cromwell

    Longest lived male British head of state. His record for longest lived was beaten by Elizabeth II a few years ago. One of my favourite quiz questions.

    I wish him no ill, so I hope that our Lord Protector III becomes the longest-lived ex-Prime Minister.

    Starting from next week, preferably...
    Anselmina wrote: »
    Where is his fucking mask

    This is why the government guidelines make no sense. Shoppers have to wear masks, but shopkeepers don't. Some people have to wear masks in school corridors, but not in classrooms.

    I actually don't have a clue whether anyone in that picture should be wearing a mask under current guidelines, which is an absurd state of affairs.

    There are some anomalies certainly. As worship leader (here in Scotland), leading from a distance, I'm allowed to be unmasked (until Communion or walking up and down the aisles). But worshippers are supposed to mask-up throughout, even with the 2 metre distance being maintained. And the new rubrics about the order of sanitising hands before or after putting on/taking off the mask etc, is doing my head in.

    Some folks observe that in church they're going to be asked to hand-sanitise all over the place, wipe with anti-bacterial wipes etc, whereas in the supermarket of course they're touching surfaces and goods all the time, that have been breathed over and touched already by numerous others. Ah well. If there are going to be any surges in the statistics, I would much rather it was tracked and traced to the local Spar than us at The Shack of the Holy Knuckle-Duster.

    I think perhaps Scotland's churches are a bit ahead of us English types as regards hand sanitiser. We ask people to use the Sacred Gel on entering and leaving the church (I've not seen anybody crossing themselves with the gel - yet), but otherwise it's only used during the service by the priest before (and after) handing out the Sacrament.

    Bit of a tangent, but I agree - there are anomalies all over the place.
  • Simple, and easily remembered (would you also add those exempt because of medical reasons?).

    I think I've made my opinion on medical exemptions from mask-wearing clear on other threads. You wear a mask to protect other people, not to protect yourself, and your medical exemption doesn't make you less likely to have the virus. So if you can't wear a mask, then just like schoolkids who claim exemptions from vaccinations, you should stay home during the epidemic.
  • OK, fair enough. Yes, I've read your thoughts on other threads, but forgot them pro tem...

    I don't entirely agree, but I do appreciate the point you're making.
  • HugalHugal Shipmate
    Wales is doing very well with masks not Mandy in shops and other places. We only have to wear them on public transport.
    Maybe Boris should listen Mark
  • I suppose D - C - doesn't want him cluttering up the Seat of Power.
  • Or making the Rose Garden look untidy...

    BTW, I see that the Lord Protector III has taken on a personal trainer, as he (the LP) admits that he (the LP) is 'too fat'.

    A sensible move, and hopefully one that will improve his health, so that he can enjoy a long post-resignation retirement with his families.
    :naughty:
  • BoogieBoogie Shipmate
    Boris Johnson has given us a new mantra: Leave home. Forget the NHS. Save Pret.

    Stolen sentence, but true.
  • Boogie wrote: »
    Boris Johnson has given us a new mantra: Leave home. Forget the NHS. Save Pret.

    Current government is forgetting their obsession with the market in the stupidest way possible.
  • TelfordTelford Shipmate
    Or making the Rose Garden look untidy...

    BTW, I see that the Lord Protector III has taken on a personal trainer, as he (the LP) admits that he (the LP) is 'too fat'.

    A sensible move, and hopefully one that will improve his health, so that he can enjoy a long post-resignation retirement with his families.
    :naughty:

    The First Lord will not be going anywhere before his Brexit mission is completeed.
  • Telford wrote: »
    Or making the Rose Garden look untidy...

    BTW, I see that the Lord Protector III has taken on a personal trainer, as he (the LP) admits that he (the LP) is 'too fat'.

    A sensible move, and hopefully one that will improve his health, so that he can enjoy a long post-resignation retirement with his families.
    :naughty:

    The First Lord will not be going anywhere before his Brexit mission is completeed.

    Quick question; what is his Brexit mission? I ask for the really prosaic reason that I really don't know.

    AFZ
  • I think the quick (possibly facile) answer is No Deal.

    We'll find out in a few months' time...
    :grimace:
  • TelfordTelford Shipmate
    Telford wrote: »
    Or making the Rose Garden look untidy...

    BTW, I see that the Lord Protector III has taken on a personal trainer, as he (the LP) admits that he (the LP) is 'too fat'.

    A sensible move, and hopefully one that will improve his health, so that he can enjoy a long post-resignation retirement with his families.
    :naughty:

    The First Lord will not be going anywhere before his Brexit mission is completeed.

    Quick question; what is his Brexit mission? I ask for the really prosaic reason that I really don't know.

    AFZ

    " Get Brexit done "
  • Yes, at no matter what cost to the country...
    :rage:
  • Telford wrote: »
    " Get Brexit done "
    Define "Brexit". And, "Brexit means Brexit" is not a valid answer.
  • TelfordTelford Shipmate
    Telford wrote: »
    " Get Brexit done "
    Define "Brexit". And, "Brexit means Brexit" is not a valid answer.

    It means leaving the EU with or without a trade deal with the EU.
  • Telford wrote: »
    Telford wrote: »
    " Get Brexit done "
    Define "Brexit". And, "Brexit means Brexit" is not a valid answer.

    It means leaving the EU with or without a trade deal with the EU.

    We have already left the EU, so when can we expect the Great Philanderet to FO?
  • HugalHugal Shipmate
    Brexit= tough times just when we don’t need them and refusing an offer of help from the EU.
    So good all round then
  • Telford wrote: »
    Telford wrote: »
    Or making the Rose Garden look untidy...

    BTW, I see that the Lord Protector III has taken on a personal trainer, as he (the LP) admits that he (the LP) is 'too fat'.

    A sensible move, and hopefully one that will improve his health, so that he can enjoy a long post-resignation retirement with his families.
    :naughty:

    The First Lord will not be going anywhere before his Brexit mission is completeed.

    Quick question; what is his Brexit mission? I ask for the really prosaic reason that I really don't know.

    AFZ

    " Get Brexit done "
    Telford wrote: »
    Telford wrote: »
    Or making the Rose Garden look untidy...

    BTW, I see that the Lord Protector III has taken on a personal trainer, as he (the LP) admits that he (the LP) is 'too fat'.

    A sensible move, and hopefully one that will improve his health, so that he can enjoy a long post-resignation retirement with his families.
    :naughty:

    The First Lord will not be going anywhere before his Brexit mission is completeed.

    Quick question; what is his Brexit mission? I ask for the really prosaic reason that I really don't know.

    AFZ

    " Get Brexit done "

    Surely, 'Get Brexit done' means (if it means anything at all) not just the act of leaving the European Union but dealing with the myriad consequences - or at least some meaningful plan in that direction. Otherwise Brexit (or to be entirely precise; the consequences there of) are far from done.

    Let me give you a very simple example (of the literally thousands): Currently medicine regulation in the UK is done in cooperation with the EU - i.e. we don't have our own regulation frame work but we make use of the EU one. If a nation leaves the EU and opts not to continue its membership of that medicines regulation body then one of two things must happen:
    1) The country stops having medicine regulation or
    2) The whole medicine regulation must be done by said nation independently and all the necessary systems and bodies for that need to be developed. And you need some sort of smooth transfer or one to the other.

    It what sense can Brexit be truly said to be done unless and until that process is complete?

    And remember, this is but one example; there are literally thousands.

    So in only one very simplistic sense can it be said that Mr Johnson has got Brexit done. In any real sense not only is it far from done (about a decade's worth at the moment) but there is no plan, policy, outline or even vision of what Brexit actually means.

    Hence, I cannot fathom what Johnson's Brexit Mission is...

    Look beyond the soundbites.

    AFZ

  • Telford wrote: »
    Telford wrote: »
    " Get Brexit done "
    Define "Brexit". And, "Brexit means Brexit" is not a valid answer.

    It means leaving the EU with or without a trade deal with the EU.

    Well, we have already left, so perhaps he could fuck off now ?
  • BoogieBoogie Shipmate
    @alienfromzog said -
    Look beyond the soundbites.

    I don’t think he (dePfeffel) does. He just wings it, making up new soundbites as he goes along. This ‘strategy’ has served him and his cronies well so far.

    But it is unraveling. I wonder how long traditional Tories will put up with it? But, if we look across the pond at traditional Republicans, maybe there isn’t much hope there either.
  • la vie en rougela vie en rouge Circus Host, 8th Day Host
    If I was a cynical pretender to the Tory leadership, I would leave Boris in place until after final exit. That way I get to blame him for the shitshow.
  • I hope we'll get an election before then, and then the Tory leadership aren't the only voice to be heard but the people of the UK get to decide whether or not to vote for their Conservative candidate with him in place and the mess of Brexit still needing to be sorted out.
  • EnochEnoch Shipmate
    I hope we'll get an election before then, and then the Tory leadership aren't the only voice to be heard but the people of the UK get to decide whether or not to vote for their Conservative candidate with him in place and the mess of Brexit still needing to be sorted out.
    The Fixed Term Parliaments Act and the mathematics produced by the last election means there is, alas, no possibility of an election before late 2024. Turkeys don't vote for Christmas.

    And, the three word slogans 'Brexit means Brexit' and 'Get Brexit done' are so vague that they can simultaneously justify 'I've done what you elected me to do' and 'I haven't finished yet so I need to stay to 'finish the job' ' - which would give Great Panjandrum another three word slogan.

    'You' is also conveniently vague.

  • Are you expecting the final act of leaving the EU before then end of 2024?
  • TelfordTelford Shipmate
    Telford wrote: »
    Telford wrote: »
    Or making the Rose Garden look untidy...

    BTW, I see that the Lord Protector III has taken on a personal trainer, as he (the LP) admits that he (the LP) is 'too fat'.

    A sensible move, and hopefully one that will improve his health, so that he can enjoy a long post-resignation retirement with his families.
    :naughty:

    The First Lord will not be going anywhere before his Brexit mission is completeed.

    Quick question; what is his Brexit mission? I ask for the really prosaic reason that I really don't know.

    AFZ

    " Get Brexit done "
    Telford wrote: »
    Telford wrote: »
    Or making the Rose Garden look untidy...

    BTW, I see that the Lord Protector III has taken on a personal trainer, as he (the LP) admits that he (the LP) is 'too fat'.

    A sensible move, and hopefully one that will improve his health, so that he can enjoy a long post-resignation retirement with his families.
    :naughty:

    The First Lord will not be going anywhere before his Brexit mission is completeed.

    Quick question; what is his Brexit mission? I ask for the really prosaic reason that I really don't know.

    AFZ

    " Get Brexit done "

    Surely, 'Get Brexit done' means (if it means anything at all) not just the act of leaving the European Union but dealing with the myriad consequences - or at least some meaningful plan in that direction. Otherwise Brexit (or to be entirely precise; the consequences there of) are far from done.

    Let me give you a very simple example (of the literally thousands): Currently medicine regulation in the UK is done in cooperation with the EU - i.e. we don't have our own regulation frame work but we make use of the EU one. If a nation leaves the EU and opts not to continue its membership of that medicines regulation body then one of two things must happen:
    1) The country stops having medicine regulation or
    2) The whole medicine regulation must be done by said nation independently and all the necessary systems and bodies for that need to be developed. And you need some sort of smooth transfer or one to the other.

    It what sense can Brexit be truly said to be done unless and until that process is complete?

    And remember, this is but one example; there are literally thousands.

    So in only one very simplistic sense can it be said that Mr Johnson has got Brexit done. In any real sense not only is it far from done (about a decade's worth at the moment) but there is no plan, policy, outline or even vision of what Brexit actually means.

    Hence, I cannot fathom what Johnson's Brexit Mission is...

    Look beyond the soundbites.

    AFZ

    Looks like he will need to be around for some time then
  • Telford wrote: »
    Telford wrote: »
    Telford wrote: »
    Or making the Rose Garden look untidy...

    BTW, I see that the Lord Protector III has taken on a personal trainer, as he (the LP) admits that he (the LP) is 'too fat'.

    A sensible move, and hopefully one that will improve his health, so that he can enjoy a long post-resignation retirement with his families.
    :naughty:

    The First Lord will not be going anywhere before his Brexit mission is completeed.

    Quick question; what is his Brexit mission? I ask for the really prosaic reason that I really don't know.

    AFZ

    " Get Brexit done "
    Telford wrote: »
    Telford wrote: »
    Or making the Rose Garden look untidy...

    BTW, I see that the Lord Protector III has taken on a personal trainer, as he (the LP) admits that he (the LP) is 'too fat'.

    A sensible move, and hopefully one that will improve his health, so that he can enjoy a long post-resignation retirement with his families.
    :naughty:

    The First Lord will not be going anywhere before his Brexit mission is completeed.

    Quick question; what is his Brexit mission? I ask for the really prosaic reason that I really don't know.

    AFZ

    " Get Brexit done "

    Surely, 'Get Brexit done' means (if it means anything at all) not just the act of leaving the European Union but dealing with the myriad consequences - or at least some meaningful plan in that direction. Otherwise Brexit (or to be entirely precise; the consequences there of) are far from done.

    Let me give you a very simple example (of the literally thousands): Currently medicine regulation in the UK is done in cooperation with the EU - i.e. we don't have our own regulation frame work but we make use of the EU one. If a nation leaves the EU and opts not to continue its membership of that medicines regulation body then one of two things must happen:
    1) The country stops having medicine regulation or
    2) The whole medicine regulation must be done by said nation independently and all the necessary systems and bodies for that need to be developed. And you need some sort of smooth transfer or one to the other.

    It what sense can Brexit be truly said to be done unless and until that process is complete?

    And remember, this is but one example; there are literally thousands.

    So in only one very simplistic sense can it be said that Mr Johnson has got Brexit done. In any real sense not only is it far from done (about a decade's worth at the moment) but there is no plan, policy, outline or even vision of what Brexit actually means.

    Hence, I cannot fathom what Johnson's Brexit Mission is...

    Look beyond the soundbites.

    AFZ

    Looks like he will need to be around for some time then

    Need? I think not.
  • KarlLBKarlLB Shipmate
    I wouldn't trust Boris to oversee the sale of ready to eat shellfish on Cromer seafront on a sole proprietor basis, let alone deal with regulation of medicines...
  • HugalHugal Shipmate
    Telford wrote: »
    Telford wrote: »
    Telford wrote: »
    Or making the Rose Garden look untidy...

    BTW, I see that the Lord Protector III has taken on a personal trainer, as he (the LP) admits that he (the LP) is 'too fat'.

    A sensible move, and hopefully one that will improve his health, so that he can enjoy a long post-resignation retirement with his families.
    :naughty:

    The First Lord will not be going anywhere before his Brexit mission is completeed.

    Quick question; what is his Brexit mission? I ask for the really prosaic reason that I really don't know.

    AFZ

    " Get Brexit done "
    Telford wrote: »
    Telford wrote: »
    Or making the Rose Garden look untidy...

    BTW, I see that the Lord Protector III has taken on a personal trainer, as he (the LP) admits that he (the LP) is 'too fat'.

    A sensible move, and hopefully one that will improve his health, so that he can enjoy a long post-resignation retirement with his families.
    :naughty:

    The First Lord will not be going anywhere before his Brexit mission is completeed.

    Quick question; what is his Brexit mission? I ask for the really prosaic reason that I really don't know.

    AFZ

    " Get Brexit done "

    Surely, 'Get Brexit done' means (if it means anything at all) not just the act of leaving the European Union but dealing with the myriad consequences - or at least some meaningful plan in that direction. Otherwise Brexit (or to be entirely precise; the consequences there of) are far from done.

    Let me give you a very simple example (of the literally thousands): Currently medicine regulation in the UK is done in cooperation with the EU - i.e. we don't have our own regulation frame work but we make use of the EU one. If a nation leaves the EU and opts not to continue its membership of that medicines regulation body then one of two things must happen:
    1) The country stops having medicine regulation or
    2) The whole medicine regulation must be done by said nation independently and all the necessary systems and bodies for that need to be developed. And you need some sort of smooth transfer or one to the other.

    It what sense can Brexit be truly said to be done unless and until that process is complete?

    And remember, this is but one example; there are literally thousands.

    So in only one very simplistic sense can it be said that Mr Johnson has got Brexit done. In any real sense not only is it far from done (about a decade's worth at the moment) but there is no plan, policy, outline or even vision of what Brexit actually means.

    Hence, I cannot fathom what Johnson's Brexit Mission is...

    Look beyond the soundbites.

    AFZ

    Looks like he will need to be around for some time then

    No. It just needs someone to do it. It could be any future PM.
    We have had a lot elections lately. I wouldn’t be surprised if there was another one before the fixed term is over.
  • Gee DGee D Shipmate
    What are the bases for calling an election during a fixed term parliament? Just the loss of a majority on the floor of the house?
  • The worst thing about all the changes in leadership is that it feels like a new party in power, who need time to sort out the mess they've inherited. The fact that it's been the Tories all this time seems to get forgotten.
  • O for the chaos of a non-tory government...
    :grimace:

    We did have such an animal, once upon a time, back in the dear dead days beyond recall...whether it made a mess of things, I can't now remember. The past is another country...
  • Telford wrote: »
    Or making the Rose Garden look untidy...

    BTW, I see that the Lord Protector III has taken on a personal trainer, as he (the LP) admits that he (the LP) is 'too fat'.

    A sensible move, and hopefully one that will improve his health, so that he can enjoy a long post-resignation retirement with his families.
    :naughty:

    The First Lord will not be going anywhere before his Brexit mission is completeed.

    Quick question; what is his Brexit mission? I ask for the really prosaic reason that I really don't know.

    AFZ

    Well, back in the campaigning days the Brexit mission was, according to Johnson, 'the easiest deal possible'. One can only conclude that the 'easiest deal possible' appears to be beyond the reach of the current Tory administration, which is hardly encouraging for those of us who genuinely would like to see the country prosper. Either that or somebody lied. (Shurely not? Ed.)

    So far we have compromised food regulations going through our legislature (despite Tory commitments to maintaining UK standards); discussions with US pharmacy in relation to the NHS (despite Tory promises to the contrary); a Northern Ireland border situation that is still not clear, though it sounds suspiciously like the situation that prevailed anyway pre-Brexit; nothing cleared up about the British ports and customs processes, beyond the hilarious 'rehearsal' that was undertaken several months ago to park a load of trucks along the roads outside Dover to see what kind of congestion might be caused if the system became less smooth than it previously was. And, of course, Grayling's Zen style ferry-less ferry company. Talk about 'what is the sound of one hand clapping'! Probably rather like the sound of the engines on the ships that didn't exist that didn't belong to the ferry company the British Government engaged to solve its transport problems across the Channel when it realised for the first time that Britain needs import trade to survive, and oh Gosh, we are an island, so somehow the goods have to cross the water to get to us. What an epiphanic moment that must've been!

    Johnson's Brexit mission seems to involve using meaningless terms like 'progress' and 'world-beating' and 'best ever' etc, while the EU apparently just shakes its head and says the complete opposite. Do you reckon they actually go to the same meetings as each other? Maybe Rees Mogg is assisting the process by conducting negotiations via Marconigram, seeing as it's beginning to get really urgent! I'm sure between him and Johnson they must have a clever Latin epigram that'll solve all the problems.



  • It's a pity they didn't adopt Lord Vetinari's family motto - Si non confectus, non reficiat (If it ain't broke, don't fix it).
    :disappointed:
  • TelfordTelford Shipmate
    KarlLB wrote: »
    I wouldn't trust Boris to oversee the sale of ready to eat shellfish on Cromer seafront on a sole proprietor basis, let alone deal with regulation of medicines...

    It's not necessary for a Prime Minister to know everything and do everything.

  • Bishops FingerBishops Finger Shipmate
    edited August 2020
    But it's helpful if he does know (or understand) a few things, and does do a bit of work...
    :grimace:
  • Telford wrote: »
    KarlLB wrote: »
    I wouldn't trust Boris to oversee the sale of ready to eat shellfish on Cromer seafront on a sole proprietor basis, let alone deal with regulation of medicines...

    It's not necessary for a Prime Minister to know everything and do everything.

    It is, however, very useful if they are capable of listening to and, just as importantly, understanding advice from people who do know and can do the things that need doing.
  • Yes.

    If it were not so, we might just as well have an effigy of Wurzel Gummidge as Prime Minister...

    O wait a moment...
    :naughty:
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