Why are dessserts so often awful?

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  • mousethief wrote: »
    mousethief wrote: »
    Chocolate cheesecake is a disservice to both.

    You mean you don’t enjoy instant mini cheesecakes (double choc chip cookies spread with plain philiadelia cheese) ?

    I've never eaten one and can't imagine enjoying it if I did, or ever calling it a cheesecake either way.

    Weeps for those who have never known the joy ...
  • Ruth wrote: »
    @Nick Tamen I hadn't heard of pastry crust for cobbler. Is it basically a fruit pie with no bottom crust?
    Sort of, yes. But the fruit part tends to be deeper and a little less “set” than would usually be the case for a pie, and the pastry tends to be thicker than a typical pie crust. The result is that when it’s served, almost always with a spoon into a bowl, the crust breaks up and sort of sinks into or is surrounded by the fruit, so it’s all mixed up together.

    And I should have added that the other kind of cobbler I’m familiar with in these parts uses something closer to cake batter than biscuit dough.

  • HugalHugal Shipmate
    Ruth wrote: »
    @Nick Tamen I hadn't heard of pastry crust for cobbler. Is it basically a fruit pie with no bottom crust?

    For differently flavored cheesecake, I occasionally make pumpkin cheesecake.

    You obviously missed my clarification. A cobbler is not pastry it is a scone (biscuit for our US viewers) type topping
  • RuthRuth Shipmate
    I didn't miss your clarification; I'm simply not interested in it. I was responding to Nick talking about what cobbler is in his part of the US, which I hadn't heard of but find interesting.
  • HugalHugal Shipmate
    edited October 2020
    Ah OK
  • So if the difference between a pie and a tart is thickness, does that mean a New York pizza pie is really a pizza tart, whereas a Chicago pizza is really a pizza pie?
  • KarlLBKarlLB Shipmate
    mousethief wrote: »
    So if the difference between a pie and a tart is thickness, does that mean a New York pizza pie is really a pizza tart, whereas a Chicago pizza is really a pizza pie?

    It's just a pizza to me.
  • HugalHugal Shipmate
    It gets confusing doesn’t it. The first time we went to Paris we kept being given English menus despite our reasonable French. We kept noticing Egg Pie. I hadn’t heard of Egg Pie. Turns out it was quiche. Regional variations in naming make things interesting
  • Hugal wrote: »
    It gets confusing doesn’t it. The first time we went to Paris we kept being given English menus despite our reasonable French. We kept noticing Egg Pie. I hadn’t heard of Egg Pie. Turns out it was quiche. Regional variations in naming make things interesting

    Well I think that's easily explainable. Quiche is a French word, so it was just a case of overzealous translation, perhaps not realising that the English use the French name for this dish.
  • Gill HGill H Shipmate
    Yes, it was one of many fun conversations we had with the lovely staff in that little local restaurant! Each day there was a fruit tart on the menu made with fruit from the local market. Our French and the owner’s English reached their limit when it was ‘reine-claude’ which turned out to be greengages. Ah, those pre-internet days when we carried a dictionary..,
  • NenyaNenya Shipmate
    Nenya wrote: »
    Boogie wrote: »
    Butterscotch Angel Delight? 😈

    On a shop-bought flan case with bananas sliced into it, top with the butterscotch Angel Delight and crumble a chocolate flake over the top. :wink:

    I made this for a meal we had last night with friends. I couldn't get a flan case so I improvised with trifle sponges and, on request, added chopped up Mars bar to the Angel Delight. It went down a treat! :smiley:
  • HugalHugal Shipmate
    Hugal wrote: »
    It gets confusing doesn’t it. The first time we went to Paris we kept being given English menus despite our reasonable French. We kept noticing Egg Pie. I hadn’t heard of Egg Pie. Turns out it was quiche. Regional variations in naming make things interesting

    Well I think that's easily explainable. Quiche is a French word, so it was just a case of overzealous translation, perhaps not realising that the English use the French name for this dish.
    Hugal wrote: »
    It gets confusing doesn’t it. The first time we went to Paris we kept being given English menus despite our reasonable French. We kept noticing Egg Pie. I hadn’t heard of Egg Pie. Turns out it was quiche. Regional variations in naming make things interesting

    Well I think that's easily explainable. Quiche is a French word, so it was just a case of overzealous translation, perhaps not realising that the English use the French name for this dish.

    Yes once we realised it was simple. It foxed me even though I am trained
  • FirenzeFirenze Shipmate, Host Emeritus
    A Croatian friend with fluent English was tasked with translating the conference dinner menu. She had particular trouble arriving a description of the dessert. Later she asked Mr F "What do you say in English for 'tiramisu'?"

    Mr F: "Tiramisu".
  • Nenya wrote: »
    Nenya wrote: »
    Boogie wrote: »
    Butterscotch Angel Delight? 😈

    On a shop-bought flan case with bananas sliced into it, top with the butterscotch Angel Delight and crumble a chocolate flake over the top. :wink:

    I made this for a meal we had last night with friends. I couldn't get a flan case so I improvised with trifle sponges and, on request, added chopped up Mars bar to the Angel Delight. It went down a treat! :smiley:

    That brings back memories! My son made that for part of his cub cooking badge and was so pleased with it that he made it regularly thereafter. He must have been seven or eight. We haven't had it for ages.
  • LeafLeaf Shipmate
    Bah! Real life has intervened. I'd much rather be contemplating desserts.
  • Leorning CnihtLeorning Cniht Shipmate
    edited October 2020
    Nick Tamen wrote: »
    In my part of the US, cobblers typically have a pastry crust rather than a biscuit crust, though cobblers with biscuit crusts can be encountered.

    Oh goodness, I think I've just realized that "biscuit crust" must mean something different to Americans than it does to me.

    To me, a "biscuit crust" is made with sugar, butter, and crushed (UK) biscuits - digestive biscuits are a normal choice, although ginger nuts make a nice biscuit crust. In the US, graham crackers are used as the biscuit.

    But now I see you use it to describe something made of US biscuits (something like what I'd call a scone.)

    So have I been leading Americans astray by describing things with a 'biscuit base'?
  • BroJamesBroJames Purgatory Host, 8th Day Host
    Possibly. I think what we’d call a biscuit base cheesecake, an American might call a cookie crust cheesecake, or a graham cracker crust cheesecake - some graham crackers seem v. similar to what a Brit would call a digestive biscuit.
  • So have I been leading Americans astray by describing things with a 'biscuit base'?
    I rather doubt it. I think most Americans—at least those who’ve been on the Ship for any length of time (or who watch the Great British Bake Off/Baking Show)—know to translate a Brit’s use of “biscuit” to “cookie” or perhaps “cracker.”

  • Yes, those would be “crackers” here, too. In the US, sweet biscuits (in the British sense) are cookies, while salty or savory biscuits (again the British sense) are usually called crackers. Graham crackers are perhaps the odd ones out—they’re sweetish, but they have the form and consistency we associate with crackers rather than cookies.

  • Nick Tamen wrote: »
    Yes, those would be “crackers” here, too. In the US, sweet biscuits (in the British sense) are cookies, while salty or savory biscuits (again the British sense) are usually called crackers. Graham crackers are perhaps the odd ones out—they’re sweetish, but they have the form and consistency we associate with crackers rather than cookies.
    Probably still too sweet for their no fun allowed namesake

  • lilbuddha wrote: »
    Nick Tamen wrote: »
    Yes, those would be “crackers” here, too. In the US, sweet biscuits (in the British sense) are cookies, while salty or savory biscuits (again the British sense) are usually called crackers. Graham crackers are perhaps the odd ones out—they’re sweetish, but they have the form and consistency we associate with crackers rather than cookies.
    Probably still too sweet for their no fun allowed namesake

    Wasn't he the one who thought dreary foods could keep people from masturbating? Or was that Kellogg?
  • HugalHugal Shipmate
    edited October 2020
    Kellogg
  • mousethief wrote: »
    Wasn't he the one who thought dreary foods could keep people from masturbating? Or was that Kellogg?

    Are we voting on whether we think breakfast cereal or missing doors in public toilets is more effective at that?
  • mousethief wrote: »
    Wasn't he the one who thought dreary foods could keep people from masturbating? Or was that Kellogg?

    Are we voting on whether we think breakfast cereal or missing doors in public toilets is more effective at that?
    No but I'll collect your ballot and put it in the box for you.
  • lilbuddha wrote: »
    Nick Tamen wrote: »
    Yes, those would be “crackers” here, too. In the US, sweet biscuits (in the British sense) are cookies, while salty or savory biscuits (again the British sense) are usually called crackers. Graham crackers are perhaps the odd ones out—they’re sweetish, but they have the form and consistency we associate with crackers rather than cookies.
    Probably still too sweet for their no fun allowed namesake
    Without a doubt.

  • mousethief wrote: »
    lilbuddha wrote: »
    Nick Tamen wrote: »
    Yes, those would be “crackers” here, too. In the US, sweet biscuits (in the British sense) are cookies, while salty or savory biscuits (again the British sense) are usually called crackers. Graham crackers are perhaps the odd ones out—they’re sweetish, but they have the form and consistency we associate with crackers rather than cookies.
    Probably still too sweet for their no fun allowed namesake

    Wasn't he the one who thought dreary foods could keep people from masturbating? Or was that Kellogg?
    Kellogg was a follower of Graham. Kinda doubt Graham was a promoter of self-abuse either.
  • FirenzeFirenze Shipmate, Host Emeritus
    Just posting to say I understand @Hugal's grief at the debasement of his craft - because I've just had an excellent dessert* which shows up the sad imitations of the mass produced.

    *panacotta - but with a strawberry and rose sorbet: it was the combination that was so brilliant.
  • Desserts are the part of the menu I regularly skip.

    Usually thawed and drizzled with raspberry something syrup and squirted with cool whip and priced somewhere between half and two thirds of what I paid for the main course.

    Just a straight, not even half-ashamed rip off.

    AFF

  • Apropos of nothing, there should be a pastry shop called "Just Desserts". Getting coat.
  • There are a number of them. There should be a rule like Rule 34, but for punny business names.
  • mousethief wrote: »
    Apropos of nothing, there should be a pastry shop called "Just Desserts". Getting coat.

    There is in Toronto.
  • Gee DGee D Shipmate
    Seen it more than once on menus.
  • Baptist TrainfanBaptist Trainfan Shipmate
    edited October 2020
    [Changed my mind, sorry].
  • That’s another thing, £6.25 for a creme brûlée and shortbread - is it dusted with gold as well as sugar?
    I do admit I like sample sized puddings served with coffee. Though at present I quite fancy an espresso martini instead.

    Just looking at this thread and took note of the £6.25 figure as that was the weekly rent (in 1976) for my flat in Dublin during my student days.

    As far as desserts go, I find I less and less like the sugary concoctions generally available in North America-- US desserts tend to be sweeter than Canadian ones and, to my mind, usually impossible to eat. A former barista at my local, possessor of a graduate degree in food history (on Jewish community cafés for the military in WWII) tells me that this is because much Canadian dessert-cooking is pie and crumble-based, on account of the primacy of preserved fruits in northern states and Canadian provinces, and the relative cheapness of sugar in the US.

    However, my tastes have also been warped by much stomping around the backroads of France and Spain, and I have come to very much enjoy the local fruit and the local cheese.
    Aside from birthday dinners (a phenomenon which one can now only barely recall), that has become the staple at my table. I have not travelled enough in England to comment on their desserts, but do have fond memories of gooseberry or apricot crumbles from Irish country tables, which nicely set up against a November evening.

    Over the past few months, I have learned that 2 of my regular guests (from those halcyon days) are now border-line diabetic, so I must do a bit of research on how not to kill them at my table.
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