Calling your partner ‘Mum’ or ‘Dad’

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Comments

  • Nenya wrote: »
    Boogie wrote: »
    We don’t choose our GD pups names. My friend has just taken delivery of a pup called ‘Haggis’! :astonished:
    What were the parents thinking?!

    I’m sure she’ll be a sponsored pup, who knows why the sponsors called her Haggis. 🤷‍♀️

  • EnochEnoch Shipmate
    But Haggis isn't a brandname.
  • Enoch wrote: »
    But Haggis isn't a brandname.

    How does that apply?
  • mousethief wrote: »
    Enoch wrote: »
    But Haggis isn't a brandname.

    How does that apply?

    I presume Enoch is making a joke about the brands that sponsor football clubs and the like. We'll know what's going on if Boogie's next puppy is called Betfair.
  • mousethief wrote: »
    Enoch wrote: »
    But Haggis isn't a brandname.

    How does that apply?

    I presume Enoch is making a joke about the brands that sponsor football clubs and the like. We'll know what's going on if Boogie's next puppy is called Betfair.

    My last one was Spencer. Guess who his sponsor was?

  • EnochEnoch Shipmate
    Perhaps the next one will be "Specsavers".
  • mousethief wrote: »
    I understand that, but they need some way of keeping track of your pet, particularly in our computer age. There may be ten Fluffys and twenty Rexes registered at that clinic, so the pet's name alone isn't enough to identify it.

    Sure, but reducing the namespace collision to a mere three dogs called "Rex Jones" doesn't fix the problem completely. Unless the owners are completely nuts, name and address should be unique.
  • HeavenlyannieHeavenlyannie Shipmate
    edited December 2020
    Boogie wrote: »

    My last one was Spencer. Guess who his sponsor was?

    Tracy?
    Frank?
    St Michael?
  • mousethief wrote: »
    I understand that, but they need some way of keeping track of your pet, particularly in our computer age. There may be ten Fluffys and twenty Rexes registered at that clinic, so the pet's name alone isn't enough to identify it.

    Sure, but reducing the namespace collision to a mere three dogs called "Rex Jones" doesn't fix the problem completely. Unless the owners are completely nuts, name and address should be unique.

    So the vet's assistant comes into the waiting room and says, "Rex Smith from 424 Airway Street?" thereby telling everyone your address? This is what you want?
  • I think it might be better to make a reference to the complaint, as in "Fluffy Johnson with a diarrhea problem?" Quite loudly.
  • I think it might be better to make a reference to the complaint, as in "Fluffy Johnson with a diarrhea problem?" Quite loudly.

    hehehe
  • Huia wrote: »
    I have two sisters-in-law. The one who lived in the sane suburb called my parents Mum and Dad, while the one from the US called them by their first names.

    Not having a partner I avoided the issue, but I don't think I could have called anyone but my actual parents Mum or Dad, because to me it would just feel wrong. To be honest I thought it was a bit weird when the local sis-in-law called them Mum and Dad. I know other people feel OK about it though.

    I was an exchange student and I still call my host-mother "Mom" with an o, to distinguish her from my Mum. I do that mostly to please her and out of habit. I call my host-father Dad, but rarely. More often I call him John or John Snr.
  • Gee DGee D Shipmate
    Boogie wrote: »
    mousethief wrote: »
    Enoch wrote: »
    But Haggis isn't a brandname.

    How does that apply?

    I presume Enoch is making a joke about the brands that sponsor football clubs and the like. We'll know what's going on if Boogie's next puppy is called Betfair.

    My last one was Spencer. Guess who his sponsor was?

    It's over 50 years since he died - was there a trust for animals in his will?
  • Nurse, on me entering hospital ward prior to surgery:
    'Hullo! Do you prefer to be called Bishops, or Mr Finger?'
    Me (grumpily):
    'You can call me 'Sir''...
  • la vie en rougela vie en rouge Circus Host, 8th Day Host
    Reasons to appreciate living in France: you don't have to deal with nonsense like that. I would never expect a medical professional to address me otherwise than as "Madame" or "Madame Lastname". In some respects we remain a very formal society.
  • None the worse for that IMHO.

    When I was working in the Ambulance Service, I always addressed a patient as Mr X or Mrs Y etc., unless they specifically asked me to do otherwise.
  • My mother always called my dad's mother, Mother surname. I called her Grandmother surname. This was helpful in knowing which of my two grandmothers we were talking about.
  • NenyaNenya Shipmate
    Nurse, on me entering hospital ward prior to surgery:
    'Hullo! Do you prefer to be called Bishops, or Mr Finger?'
    Me (grumpily):
    'You can call me 'Sir''...
    Hehe. :lol: Very similar to a friend's hospital story, of her (I think) mother:

    Doctor approaches hospital bed of Mrs M Smith.

    Doctor: So, Mrs Smith, what's your first name?

    Mrs Smith: Margaret, although my friends call me Betty.

    Doctor: Would you like me to call you Betty?

    Mrs Smith: No. You can call me Mrs Smith.

    I do like the idea of being called Madame Lastname.

    I was quite touched, years before they married, to have Nenlet1's then-boyfriend call me "Mum" in the course of conversation. I didn't remark on it and after a few moments he said, rather wonderingly, "I just called you 'Mum'..." I quite liked it, actually, but he has his own mum (whom I certainly wouldn't expect Nenlet1 to address as 'Mum'!) so at the time I think I said something like, "You can call me that if you'd like to, but you do have your own mum." It didn't happen again but it did help to make him feel part of the family.
  • BoogieBoogie Shipmate
    edited December 2020
    Gee D wrote: »
    Boogie wrote: »
    mousethief wrote: »
    Enoch wrote: »
    But Haggis isn't a brandname.

    How does that apply?

    I presume Enoch is making a joke about the brands that sponsor football clubs and the like. We'll know what's going on if Boogie's next puppy is called Betfair.

    My last one was Spencer. Guess who his sponsor was?

    It's over 50 years since he died - was there a trust for animals in his will?

    Guide Dogs pups are often sponsored by loved ones and named by them. So we have pups called ‘John’, ‘Rachel’ etc. I am currently fund raising to sponsor a pup and call her ‘Brenda’. Brenda was a dear friend who supported Guide Dogs and recently died of Covid19.

    Some are sponsored by companies, Spencer was sponsored by the York branch of Marks and Spencer. If you are on Facebook you can follow him ‘Guide Dog Team Spencer and Terry’.

    It costs £5000 to sponsor a dog (you get updates and you meet the pup, Echo hasn’t met his sponsor yet due to Covid19 but it’s usually at about 6 months old that we have the visit - we had a lovely time in York meeting the M&S staff when Spencer was six months old, followed by a walk by the river)

    It’s a big part of Guide Dogs fundraising so they are very easy going about the chosen names - thus ‘Haggis’ and my ‘Twiglet’.

    :)

  • Gee DGee D Shipmate
    Some friends of ours take in pups that may well turn out to be good guide dogs, train them for a year and see how they go. It's a very worthwhile task they undertake. We thought of that when Dog died, but other things happened and we did not go ahead with it. Great admiration for those who can raise a dog as it starts out, then relinquish it. I know that's the whole plan, but still very hard.
  • My mother always called my dad's mother, Mother surname. I called her Grandmother surname. This was helpful in knowing which of my two grandmothers we were talking about.

    My Mum used to call her MIL ‘Mother’. 🤔
  • Ethne AlbaEthne Alba Shipmate
    edited December 2020
    Back in the sixties some rather modern parents came to stay with our family.
    Mrs ModernParent asked me to call Mr ModernParent in from the garden.....but she used his First name.
    So I did too.

    My parents hit the roof.
    I was infant school aged at the time and was terribly upset.


    When parenting my own brood i think we started off with “Your Dad / Your Mum”
    Then pressure of time meant the Your was dropped.

  • Ethne Alba wrote: »
    Back in the sixties some rather modern parents came to stay with our family.
    Mrs ModernParent asked me to call Mr ModernParent in from the garden.....but she used his First name.
    So I did too.

    My parents hit the roof.
    I was infant school aged at the time and was terribly upset.
    Ah - that reminds me of a similar incident from my teens.
    When I was 17 I worked in a residential care home. One of the other care assistants was a middle aged woman married to a colleague of my father. One day I engaged her in what I thought was polite conversation and asked how her 'old man' was. She went ballistic. It turns out that what might be considered normal terminology for 'husband' in a Northern working class family isn't polite in middle class Dunstable!
  • Dear God there are some uptight people out there🙀; good thing you weren’t in Oz where “old bastard” was the equivalent....
  • NenyaNenya Shipmate
    Ethne Alba wrote: »
    Back in the sixties some rather modern parents came to stay with our family.
    Mrs ModernParent asked me to call Mr ModernParent in from the garden.....but she used his First name.
    So I did too.

    My parents hit the roof.
    I was infant school aged at the time and was terribly upset.
    These things can make such an impression on us, can't they? :disappointed:

    My father came from a mining family in Durham and my mum and my brothers often referred to him as "the old man" and, though less often, my brothers referred to our mum as "the old lady." I'd be interested to know whether that was part of the culture of the family when my brothers were little; I came along ten years after the younger brother and wouldn't have referred to either parent in that way - I remember thinking it quite disrespectful, but never saying so, on account of being the youngest and expected not to rock the boat in any way.

    I do remember going to friends' houses and calling their parents Mr and Mrs Lastname.

    Also when I was a student (some years ago now) I was addressed as "Auntie Nen" by the children in the church and when we were parents of young children the church we were in at the time expected all children to do the same with the adults. I'd find it pretty creepy now but accepted it at the time and continued it without much thought until a new couple came along with children the same sort of age as mine, and she said to me one day, "Do I have to be an auntie?"

    @Boogie - my mum never liked being called "Mum" and I did try to call her "Mother" when I got older, but it never 'took.'
  • If one of mine really wants to take the piss I am addressed as “Mother”... on the other hand“Mummy “ gives me the horrors. My dear departed mother addressed her mother ( who did most of the heavy lifting in our upbringing) as “Mummy” until the latter’s death at 93....🙀
  • NenyaNenya Shipmate
    Sojourner wrote: »
    My dear departed mother addressed her mother ( who did most of the heavy lifting in our upbringing) as “Mummy” until the latter’s death at 93....🙀

    Like Queen Elizabeth and the Queen Mother, then. :wink:

    One friend's daughter-in-law addresses him as "Dad" and has done so since she married friend's son; her own father is still very much around but "I see more of you than I do of my own dad." While that seems a bit odd to me, it does say quite a lot about their relationship and how she particularly feels about it. I'd never have called my father-in-law by anything except his first name, although with hindsight he might have appreciated something more affectionate (Pa...? Pop...? :hushed: ) as he didn't have a daughter and my own dad died only a few years after Mr Nen and I got married.
  • Both of my parents called their own parents “Mother” and “Daddy*,” and they each called their parents-in-law “Mom” and “Dad.” My sister-in-law did the same, but my wife and brother-in-law called them by their first names—as did/do I with my wife’s parents—unless we were talking about them with our children, nieces or nephews. Then we used “Gran” or “Gran’daddy.”


    * In the corner of the world from which I come, “Daddy” tends to be pronounced “Deddy.”

  • Does anyone else recall an awkward transition that you went through when moving on from calling your parents 'Mummy' and 'Daddy' to calling them 'Mum' and 'Dad'? Being the oldest child, I got to a stage where I wanted to do this ahead of my younger sisters, especially when talking to my schoolfriends. It felt wrong at 13 or 14 to say 'Mummy said....' but I couldn't bring myself to use 'Mum said....' initially, as I had never called her that to her face. So I started using the convenient possessive form 'My mum said...' until I got so used to it, and my sisters started saying Mum and Dad also.

    Its still confusing sometimes when talking to my grown up sons when I refer to 'Dad', as they could be unsure if I mean my Dad, (their grandfather), or their Dad, (my ex).
  • Nenya wrote: »
    I'd find it pretty creepy now but accepted it at the time and continued it without much thought until a new couple came along with children the same sort of age as mine, and she said to me one day, "Do I have to be an auntie?"

    Some of the families at church and in the kids' various scout troops come from cultures where calling adults "uncle" and "auntie" is normal. So while I'm only "Uncle Leo" to my own nieces and nephews, I get referred to as "uncle" by a group of kids and their parents all the time. "Show uncle your picture" from a parent to their shy child, and so on.
  • Does anyone else recall an awkward transition that you went through when moving on from calling your parents 'Mummy' and 'Daddy' to calling them 'Mum' and 'Dad'? Being the oldest child, I got to a stage where I wanted to do this ahead of my younger sisters, especially when talking to my schoolfriends. It felt wrong at 13 or 14 to say 'Mummy said....' but I couldn't bring myself to use 'Mum said....' initially, as I had never called her that to her face. So I started using the convenient possessive form 'My mum said...' until I got so used to it, and my sisters started saying Mum and Dad also.

    Its still confusing sometimes when talking to my grown up sons when I refer to 'Dad', as they could be unsure if I mean my Dad, (their grandfather), or their Dad, (my ex).

    I never really made that transition. I went straight from calling my parents Mummy and Daddy to calling them Granny and Grampy when my daughter was born.
  • I remember that transition. It sucked. In my family, any change was risky, as reactions depended on who had been drinking and who was in a foul mood as a result.
  • My 33 year old daughter still calls me Daddy. I find it most endearing.
  • mousethief wrote: »
    My 33 year old daughter still calls me Daddy. I find it most endearing.
    We called our father “Daddy” until he died. We called my mother “Momma” when we were younger, but as we grew up realized she preferred “Mother,” so we transitioned to that.

    Despite calling my father “Daddy,” I really preferred to be “Dad” after the kids were little, and my wife felt similarly about “Mom.” So at our house, when our son was around 10 and our daughter 7, my wife and I began referring to each other, in conversation with them, as “Mom” and “Dad.” That made the transition happen.

  • BroJamesBroJames Purgatory Host, 8th Day Host
    My experience matches that, Nick Tamen, with a little translation into British usage - although my mother was always “Mummy” to us, except in mock reproof ‘Mother!’.
  • My grandparents were Gran and Gaga to me. I was the fifth grandchild, and so it had been sorted before I started dating - grandson-in-laws were told from the start that they were to address my grandparents as "Gran and first-name. "

    I was "Dollums" to my Gaga. Nobody called me that except him. I wouldn't actually want anyone to call me that (!) but it was one of the sadnesses when he died - I'd never answer to Dollums again.
  • As grandparents we are Omi and Opa.

    I like both. 🙂🙂
  • NenyaNenya Shipmate
    It must be one of the nice, though potentially contentious, things about grandparenting to discuss and decide on what the grandchildren are going to call you. I worked with someone who wanted to be "Grandma", as did the other grandmother, so they ended up being GrandmaFirstname, having gone through various permutations including being differentiated by hair colour. My colleague, having been a redhead but now embracing the grey, drew the line at being "Orange Grandma." :lol:
  • BroJamesBroJames Purgatory Host, 8th Day Host
    Our children referred to theirs as [CityName] Grandma, and [CountyName] Grandma - both sadly died in the past twelve months. (Neither Covid-related)
  • amyboamybo Shipmate
    mousethief wrote: »
    My 33 year old daughter still calls me Daddy. I find it most endearing.

    I called my dad that til he died when I was 28, maybe? Just because calling him Daddy put him in a good mood. :-)
  • I call my parents Mum and Dad, except when talking about them to my daughter, when they become Gran and Poppa. I call my husband Dad when talking about him to my daughter (or the dog). He calls my parents Mum and Dad, although my brother in law calls them by their given names. I have it on good authority (my mum) that they like being called Mum and Dad by their offspring's spouses (I think my brother in law calls them by their names because he called his own parents Mum and Dad, whereas my Other Half called his Mother and Father).

    Our vet is not calling names at all, at the moment, due to Covid restrictions. You get a beeper and then go out again to wait in the car park until your beeper goes off.
  • Our children called my parents Nana and papa. They called Ms. C.'s parents Grammie and Grampy.
  • Gee DGee D Shipmate
    Nenya wrote: »
    Sojourner wrote: »
    My dear departed mother addressed her mother ( who did most of the heavy lifting in our upbringing) as “Mummy” until the latter’s death at 93....🙀

    Like Queen Elizabeth and the Queen Mother, then. :wink:

    Is that an example we should follow?
  • NenyaNenya Shipmate
    Gee D wrote: »
    Nenya wrote: »
    Sojourner wrote: »
    My dear departed mother addressed her mother ( who did most of the heavy lifting in our upbringing) as “Mummy” until the latter’s death at 93....🙀

    Like Queen Elizabeth and the Queen Mother, then. :wink:

    Is that an example we should follow?

    Not necessarily. Just observing that it has a precedent.
  • Gee DGee D Shipmate
    Right.
  • Likely predates the Windsors who took their cues from the genteel English bourgeoisie. My Irish Catholic prole progenitors would not have bothered. Said a lot about Patricia Mary’s ( my late mother’s) issues...
  • Enoch wrote: »
    Perhaps the next one will be "Specsavers".

    Off topic, but for many years rugby referees in the Celtic League/Pro12 were sponsored by Specsavers - presumably to answer the frequent* question, "When did you last get your eyes tested, ref??"

    (*Well, it included some of those words, and usually quite a few others... As the son of a ref, I always try not to swear at or question the parentage of referees!)
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