It absolutely works for tenors, too - and for countertenors, who (in my fairly extensive experience) tend to combine the worst egomaniacal tendencies of both sopranos and tenors.
It absolutely works for tenors, too - and for countertenors, who (in my fairly extensive experience) tend to combine the worst egomaniacal tendencies of both sopranos and tenors.
And always show you a picture of their wife and children before telling you which voice they sing, 'tis said.
Funny thing is, many counter-tenors' natural voice is actually bass. Odd, innit?
Many countertenors of my acquaintance are failed (in a making-a-living in a professional sense) baritones who then developed their falsettos. I am not, generally speaking, a fan; the sound is frequently hooty. Give me a good mezzo-soprano any time!
As for light bulbs, mezzos and contraltos just get on with it and change the damned things without fuss or drama.
Many countertenors of my acquaintance are failed (in a making-a-living in a professional sense) baritones who then developed their falsettos. I am not, generally speaking, a fan; the sound is frequently hooty. Give me a good mezzo-soprano any time!
As for light bulbs, mezzos and contraltos just get on with it and change the damned things without fuss or drama.
A few years ago, there was a man interviewed on the television who by some biological freak had retained the ability to sing with his treble voice after his voice broke. It meant he had both a normal male range, and the range historically associated with a castrato. He was not singing falsetto.
He was noticeably eager to refer to his children in the interview.
How many uptight/politically correct/no sense of humor lesbians does it take to change a lightbulb?
OMG, you got about five years to discuss it?!
-What if, by changing the lightbulb, the light bulb's feelings are not taken into consideration? Oh, YOU can scoff and say a light bulb is an inanimate object and that it doesn't even have feelings but how do you know?
-Is the light bulb manufactured by a company that strives to lessen its carbon footprint on the world? Oh, Goddess! I see here that the light bulb was manufactured by General Electric! G.E. builds components for nuclear weapons! What if...what if this light bulb was built at the same plant as the nuclear weapon components? We will have to destroy this light bulb in some way as to mitigate our guilt for purchasing this evilly created item. Also, we'll have to do a Goddess-centered cleansing ritual to restore the land on which this building rests.
-In future, can we please only purchase light bulbs from a progressive company? It would be better if said company only employed women who were born with female reproductive organs because even a transgender male to female will have poisonous male thoughts about conquering all of us true lesbians...
How many Anglicans does it take to change a lightbulb?
We'll come to that question once we've been granted a Faculty - and goodness knows how long that will take!
How many software developers does it take to change a lightbulb?
Just me. But it won't be right when it is done, because you never provided a proper spec for it. How was I to know that you wanted it in the same place as the old one? And what is wrong with a lighbulb on the floor? It was easiest for me, so I did it like that.
It will cost you if I have to redo it. My PM tells me I don't have time to do it this week.
How many viola players? None; they ask the violin player in front to do it for them.
How very dare you???!! The violinist would be far too busy preening to notice that the bulb had gone in the first place. Ensuring illumination is definitely a violist's job.
How many teachers does it take?
What, another one?! I’ve just changed the two in the music room and one in F block. I’ll have to buy another 6 when I go shopping, as I’ve used up all the ones in the stash...
Comments
And always show you a picture of their wife and children before telling you which voice they sing, 'tis said.
Funny thing is, many counter-tenors' natural voice is actually bass. Odd, innit?
As for light bulbs, mezzos and contraltos just get on with it and change the damned things without fuss or drama.
(nearly dies laughing)
Drama queens all, in my experience.
He was noticeably eager to refer to his children in the interview.
Ultimately, nearly all singers (and yes, I'm one myself).
We basses will deny it entirely, but...
How many Irish mothers...
None. I’ll just sit in the dark while youse go out and enjoy yourselves.
Of all singers, basses are most likely to get struck by lightning when it rains because . . .
. . . they never know when to come in.
Not in my case.
Not our fault if too many conductors get ahead of the beat ...
I did the same!
OMG, you got about five years to discuss it?!
-What if, by changing the lightbulb, the light bulb's feelings are not taken into consideration? Oh, YOU can scoff and say a light bulb is an inanimate object and that it doesn't even have feelings but how do you know?
-Is the light bulb manufactured by a company that strives to lessen its carbon footprint on the world? Oh, Goddess! I see here that the light bulb was manufactured by General Electric! G.E. builds components for nuclear weapons! What if...what if this light bulb was built at the same plant as the nuclear weapon components? We will have to destroy this light bulb in some way as to mitigate our guilt for purchasing this evilly created item. Also, we'll have to do a Goddess-centered cleansing ritual to restore the land on which this building rests.
-In future, can we please only purchase light bulbs from a progressive company? It would be better if said company only employed women who were born with female reproductive organs because even a transgender male to female will have poisonous male thoughts about conquering all of us true lesbians...
How many lesbians does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
Two - one to screw it in and one to make a documentary about it.
How many lesbians does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
THAT'S NOT FUNNY.
How many straight Toronto waiters does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
Both of them.
How many chefs does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
Ten - one to screw it in, nine to say how they would have done it differently.
Enjoy the veal. I'm here all week.
How many presbyterians does it take to do it?
None, until the presbytery grant for a new one is approved.
And it won't be approved.
(I offered that because I'm just about to write to the presbytery treasurer about something I don't think will be approved).
We'll come to that question once we've been granted a Faculty - and goodness knows how long that will take!
Depends which key it was in in the first place.
I don't know, but I can look it up for you.
Just me. But it won't be right when it is done, because you never provided a proper spec for it. How was I to know that you wanted it in the same place as the old one? And what is wrong with a lighbulb on the floor? It was easiest for me, so I did it like that.
It will cost you if I have to redo it. My PM tells me I don't have time to do it this week.
ETA: Also all the lightbulbs in our office work fine, therefore this defect will be closed as it cannot be reproduced.
An outrageous question! We're fabulous enough to dazzle in any situation, thank you very much darling.
(shiver that starts from the pelvis and moves upwards)
Two, but the problem is getting them into the lightbulb in the first place.
How very dare you???!! The violinist would be far too busy preening to notice that the bulb had gone in the first place. Ensuring illumination is definitely a violist's job.
None. They dwell in eternal darkness.
A fish.
I understood it was 2: one to turn the giraffe and one to fill the bath with multicoloured clocks.
Change it into what?
He changed he light bulb before it was cool.
Oh, and here's another good one:
How many Christians does it take to change a light bulb?
Three. but really they are one.
A transmutation isn't a change?
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Centennial_Light
What, another one?! I’ve just changed the two in the music room and one in F block. I’ll have to buy another 6 when I go shopping, as I’ve used up all the ones in the stash...