Let's put lilbuddha in charge

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Comments

  • It wouldn't be a Hell without the predictable interjections of the Greek Chorus.
  • RuthRuth Admin Emeritus
    If you read this thread, you will see people saying extremely vicious things to lb - far more offensive, I would argue, than what she said to Ross - and doing so repeatedly. Their apparent justification for doing this is not 'venting', it is ostensibly some kind of belief it will make lb behave the way they want her to.

    lilbuddha has said she doesn't even read this thread, so how do you arrive at the idea that people believe their words here will change her behavior?
  • BoogieBoogie Shipmate
    I think I’m a bemused bystander with a touch of pearl clutching thrown in.
  • I'm amazed this thread is a year old. Lb is a very powerful person.
  • RooKRooK Admin Emeritus
    Ruth wrote: »
    If you read this thread, you will see people saying extremely vicious things to lb - far more offensive, I would argue, than what she said to Ross - and doing so repeatedly. Their apparent justification for doing this is not 'venting', it is ostensibly some kind of belief it will make lb behave the way they want her to.

    lilbuddha has said she doesn't even read this thread, so how do you arrive at the idea that people believe their words here will change her behavior?

    Maybe she was being charitable, assuming the best possible explanation.
  • You're right: comparing frisbee throwing keepy off (I am glad that shrinks were on hand to tell us that rejection is painful, otherwise how would we ever know?) and dogpiling in an online thread does not constitute psychoanalysis. My mistake. "Nonsense" might be a better characterisation. As for "no face saving options" - you know none of us are coerced into being here, right? Apologising does tend to release the pressure valve, or just leaving for a bit tends to have the same effect.

    And scapegoating is not the only pattern on display - whenever there is a dogpile down here, there seems to be a contingent of bystanders wringing their hands and moaning "Good God, what have we done?" It never gets old.

    Way to completely miss the point.
  • RooKRooK Admin Emeritus
    Just to function ironically in Hell, and because we know we're safe from @lilbuddha actually reading it on this thread:
    We all do feel like she completely belongs as "one of us", right? Frustrating and vexing though our interactions with her might be, we would all be the poorer without her contributions.
  • RooK wrote: »
    Just to function ironically in Hell, and because we know we're safe from @lilbuddha actually reading it on this thread:
    We all do feel like she completely belongs as "one of us", right? Frustrating and vexing though our interactions with her might be, we would all be the poorer without her contributions.

    I agree with this. And FWIW I think it's possible this thread has served its purpose.
  • OhherOhher Shipmate
    Well, if the original purpose was to request a change in behavior, I'm not sure we can say that purpose has been served; it's now apparent that no change will be forthcoming. So there's nothing to be gained by belaboring the point.

    As for whether lilbuddha "completely belongs as 'one of us,'" I question whether this community's opinion(s) matter. The nature of the most recent kerfluffle suggests it's lilbuddha to whom this query might more usefully be directed.
  • Ohher wrote: »
    Well, if the original purpose was to request a change in behavior, I'm not sure we can say that purpose has been served; it's now apparent that no change will be forthcoming. So there's nothing to be gained by belaboring the point.

    Well, I didn't think that the purpose of the thread was primarily intended to change anyone's behaviour; though it might be a bonus, if there is change for the better.

    I meant, generally, that I think the thread has done what every Hell thread is supposed to do in keeping a certain kind of crap off the other discussions; just acting as a place to vent. Which I would say this thread has done, in that respect.
  • Respectfully, there is a class of shipmate we Hellhosts refer to as a "frequent flier". And for those self-elected few, there's little point in closing a thread only for another one to open a week later (rinse and repeat). We just keep the one thread, which sinks and rises according to their fortunes.

    It's just tidier, and we do like things tidy down here.

    DT
    HH
  • RooK wrote: »
    Just to function ironically in Hell, and because we know we're safe from @lilbuddha actually reading it on this thread:
    We all do feel like she completely belongs as "one of us", right? Frustrating and vexing though our interactions with her might be, we would all be the poorer without her contributions.

    A couple of months ago I would have agreed. She seems in the recent past to be distancing herself from us, and getting more and more acerbic. I do not know why this should be (obviously) but it is distressing. I have benefitted greatly in the past from her wisdom. Recently (but longer ago than the current kerfuffle), not so much so.
  • RooKRooK Admin Emeritus
    mousethief wrote: »
    RooK wrote: »
    Just to function ironically in Hell, and because we know we're safe from @lilbuddha actually reading it on this thread:
    We all do feel like she completely belongs as "one of us", right? Frustrating and vexing though our interactions with her might be, we would all be the poorer without her contributions.

    A couple of months ago I would have agreed. She seems in the recent past to be distancing herself from us, and getting more and more acerbic. I do not know why this should be (obviously) but it is distressing. I have benefitted greatly in the past from her wisdom. Recently (but longer ago than the current kerfuffle), not so much so.

    I hear you, buddy.
    But I feel that you and I are particularly well-equipped among the Denizens to appreciate that many of us have our dark times. We don't have to like them, but they don't change that we belong.
  • I hear you. One wishes one could, but doesn't feel one can, ask someone, "Hey are you okay? You're not your usual self."

    Actually Lamb Chopped did that to me recently, and it was I think good for both of us to discuss it briefly via PM.
  • You're right: comparing frisbee throwing keepy off (I am glad that shrinks were on hand to tell us that rejection is painful, otherwise how would we ever know?) and dogpiling in an online thread does not constitute psychoanalysis. My mistake. "Nonsense" might be a better characterisation. As for "no face saving options" - you know none of us are coerced into being here, right? Apologising does tend to release the pressure valve, or just leaving for a bit tends to have the same effect.

    And scapegoating is not the only pattern on display - whenever there is a dogpile down here, there seems to be a contingent of bystanders wringing their hands and moaning "Good God, what have we done?" It never gets old.

    Way to completely miss the point.

    Beautifully argued.

    And I agree with Rook re lb, FWIW.
  • Between them, @lilbuddha and @Martin54 are totally strangling Purgatory. They live in their own hermetic universes of self-consistent thought, impentrable to unbelievers.

    I'm not sure what happens next.
  • I think that is hyperbole.
  • I think that is hyperbole.

    More an expression of deep, serious frustration. Nothing can happen in Purgatory, no-one can say anything, unless it is approved by these two. Otherwise they stop all discussion in its tracks by throwing in rocks until they throttle the flow.
  • I think that is hyperbole.

    More an expression of deep, serious frustration. Nothing can happen in Purgatory, no-one can say anything, unless it is approved by these two. Otherwise they stop all discussion in its tracks by throwing in rocks until they throttle the flow.

    On one of my other bulletin boards we have a feature called "ignore". Simply add the poster's name to the list and you do not see anything they are saying unless it appears in someone else's quotes. Not perfect. But because the demographic skews to a certain age range, volume and range of topics, the ignore feature is kind of necessary just to push into the background the chatter from ones you know are really impossible to engage with, if you are not able to scroll past them yourself.

    As a result, the conversation can go on for many many pages where it might otherwise have just been reduced to a bickerfest and flamed out.

    The ship doesn't have an ignore feature. It depends on the maturity and the discernment of the participants to choose which posts to engage with and which ones to overlook.

    If one or two posters choke the flow of the conversation it's IMO because they have been allowed to do so.

    Attention is a genuine source of energy. It's a tangible experience of love. If a child cannot garner positive attention from the parent, it will act out in order to garner negative attention because any attention is better than no attention.

    It's also priceless. We each of us and collectively hold the power of life and death of a thread in our ability to direct and modulate the quality of our attention. It's a priceless resource, so I think it is important to treat one's own attention as such.

    I guess that's all I have to say about that.

    AFF







  • RooK wrote: »
    We all do feel like she completely belongs as "one of us", right?

    Definitely, but that doesn't mean I like her.
  • RooK wrote: »
    We all do feel like she completely belongs as "one of us", right?

    Definitely, but that doesn't mean I like her.

    If I read scripture right, we don't have to like anyone. Even the ones we're commanded to love. Well, that's my get-out clause, anyway!
  • orfeoorfeo Shipmate
    By my count, in the last 3 days I've encountered at least 3 examples on a couple of different threads of a principle I learned during a previous Ship tour: anything that you say which happens to agree with lilbuddha's position must be regurgitated back at you as if you said something else.

    It's never true until it's said by the correct person. When it's said by the wrong person (anyone else), it must first be corrected and then reiterated.

    Other person: In my opinion it's X.

    LB: No, silly, it's X.

    I don't think I've yet seen a recent example of "I agree it's X (so now we can move on to another aspect of the topic)".

    I'd forgotten about this during my extended shore leave. I'm not enjoying becoming reacquainted with this behaviour. Not least because it bogs down discussion in things that aren't even points of contention.
  • We are subjected to a rampant ego running rampant. It may go away. Real discussion cannot survive such abuse of a discussion forum.
  • There is the converse:

    Lb: It's X.

    Other person: Here's a pertinent example of X.

    Lb: How dare you suggest it's X.
  • A Feminine ForceA Feminine Force Shipmate
    edited February 20
    And yet the behaviour persists because it is not in direct contravention of the ten Cs. I was recently able to short circuit a tangent by ignoring lbs reply to my agreement.

    I was like “wait what?” Then “oh yeah this is lb being lb. no further comment necessary”.

    Can this be the answer?

    AFF
  • It's rather like dealing with mosquito bites--a whole LOT of mosquito bites. You know rationally that if you don't scratch, you'll be better off--but who can resist scratching?
  • RooKRooK Admin Emeritus
    It's almost vampiric how she needs to suck all the oxygen from a conversation and turn it into disapproval. I have a theory that she's trying to visualize the event horizon of her own Issues™ by pouring everyone else's well-meaning engagement down the throat of her bottomless gravity well of criticism.
  • asherasher Shipmate
    On the Caroline Flack thread in purgatory @lilbuddha wrote:

    December last, police were called to Flack's home because here boyfriend believed here self-inflicted wounds might be life threatening. Somewhere in working out what happened, it appears that the police determined Flack has assaulted her boyfriend. He did not want charges brought. Whether she assaulted him or not, we don't know. What we do know is a person with mental health issues was being put up in the public light and was going to go through two trials. One in the court and the other in public.

    This is a very particular telling of the events. Sure, you can do that. No problem. Often the abused partner doesn't want charges. Often the abuser has MH issues.

    Thing is, it sounds a bit like defending the abuser....cos we all know where lilbuddha would stand if the genders were changed.

    Asher
  • It's rather like dealing with mosquito bites--a whole LOT of mosquito bites. You know rationally that if you don't scratch, you'll be better off--but who can resist scratching?

    If I know I'm just going to make it bleed, then scab over and take days to fall off and pass out of my field of consciousness, I think it's better to leave it alone.

    AFF
  • Surely. But who's going to come over and bat my hand away from the keyboard? Oh please...
  • RossweisseRossweisse 8th Day Host, Hell Host
    Doc Tor wrote: »
    There is the converse:

    Lb: It's X.

    Other person: Here's a pertinent example of X.

    Lb: How dare you suggest it's X.
    Absolutely. It is utterly predictable, and utterly tedious.

  • Lamb ChoppedLamb Chopped Shipmate
    edited March 8
    Lilbuddha:

    LL has absorbed the content of your most recent post with regards to my personal responsibility for all the wrongdoing of the Republican Party, and wishes to inform you:

    You one wack-ass sucka.

    That is all.
  • mousethiefmousethief Shipmate
    lilbuddha wrote: »
    @Tubbs
    Agreed that continuing this here is pointless, but there is no animus in my argument with orfeo on this.
    Perception is a bugger, innit.

    So is passive aggression. A real bitch.
  • Robert ArminRobert Armin Shipmate
    A thought has sometimes crossed my mind. Erin was Community Editor. Could the post be resurrected for @lilbuddha? Only she has the ability to see into people's minds, and understand what they meant but failed to say.
  • CaissaCaissa Shipmate
    All the references I see to Erin lately makes a guy wonder whether she was the fourth member of the Trinity. ;^)
  • I'm old enough to remember Erin, under my previous nom de guerre (The Blessed Pangolin) before I took shore leave for about five years. Why, exactly, is she so revered? No disrespect intended.
  • EutychusEutychus Admin
    Erin had a lot to do with the ethos of the boards and played an instrumental role in fending off at least one attack that could easily have sunk the Ship in its early days. If the Ship is still sailing at a time when many other forums have disappeared, it's in no small part a testimony to the robustness of what she put in place.
  • RooKRooK Admin Emeritus
    Why, exactly, is she so revered?

    Erin was a singularly insightful and persuasive being. She used that insight and persuasion to let others see their fundamental connections when she was feeling kindly. When she was feeling less kindly, she was a horrifically-clear lens on our shared reality - exposing our flaws, so that we could better recognize the humility with which we should comport ourselves.

    And she was meeeeeean. I loved her for it. My main motivation for maintaining my connection to this place stems from a sense of loyalty to her personally, and gratitude for all the lessons in leadership and honesty I treasure to this day.
  • Thank you. Good (and important) to know.
  • CaissaCaissa Shipmate
    I think it is hard to argue that the post was expressing hatred for every single individual who falls/fell into the category of English.
  • DoublethinkDoublethink Shipmate
    RooK wrote: »

    That was a bit of a punch in the guts, there seem such a lot of posters on that thread we know to have died since then - from disease, suicide and murder.
  • jedijudyjedijudy Heaven Host, 8th Day Host
    edited May 9
    Yesterday would have been Erin's 49th birthday.
    I wish we still had the :tear: emoji. :cry:
  • RossweisseRossweisse 8th Day Host, Hell Host
    @Erin is still greatly missed by those who knew her. (And it is a source of lasting - if possibly misplaced - pride to me that the one time she went after me with a rusty farm implement, I went back at her with a matching implement of my own, and she backed down.)

  • orfeoorfeo Shipmate
    I think maybe I've rediscovered the reason I grew tired of the Ship a couple of years back.
  • RooKRooK Admin Emeritus
    One way to make some aspects of the Ship less wearisome - aside from actually influencing them to find a tiny shred of mutual respect - might be to use a script to replace certain avatars with alternate images that help remind us to just not bother engaging. Like, as a random example, a tiny cropped version of goatse.
  • RooK wrote: »
    Why, exactly, is she so revered?
    - exposing our flaws, so that we could better recognize the humility with which we should comport ourselves.

    And she was meeeeeean. I loved her for it. My main motivation for maintaining my connection to this place stems from a sense of loyalty to her personally, and gratitude for all the lessons in leadership and honesty I treasure to this day.

    Yeah bear in mind that those flaws were as she saw them which may or may not have been what was really going on. I never did understand why Erin reached for the vitriol so quickly and (perhaps) so inappropriately.
  • RooKRooK Admin Emeritus
    Some people can carve intricate details with chainsaws.
    I stand by my opinion of her ratio of ability to reveal truth/assumption.
  • RossweisseRossweisse 8th Day Host, Hell Host
    I think the vitriol was a way to stop flame wars before they could really get started. Sometimes it was unneeded, but more often it was absolutely appropriate.

  • Rossweisse wrote: »
    I think the vitriol was a way to stop flame wars before they could really get started. Sometimes it was unneeded, but more often it was absolutely appropriate.

    It said way more about Erin than it did the issue.
This discussion has been closed.