I think there's a couple of reasons why IT is so frustrating and enraging. First up, there's no way of reasoning with the damn thing. Secondly, it feels like the sort of thing any fairly intelligent person ought to be able to do quite simply. I'm not stupid, I followed the instructions, so why doesn't it ******* work?
I think there's a couple of reasons why IT is so frustrating and enraging. First up, there's no way of reasoning with the damn thing. Secondly, it feels like the sort of thing any fairly intelligent person ought to be able to do quite simply. I'm not stupid, I followed the instructions, so why doesn't it ******* work?
Given the behaviour, I could more readily believe the Pratchettian view of technology - it's actually small demons imprisoned in boxes doing the thinking - than the almost immeasurably complex electronics that is actually the case. And I'm someone with a decent working knowledge of computers.
Sometimes more obscure browsers are kept up to date better for older operating systems so might have more luck than mainstream ones. UR Browser is one such.
I have been struggling with the hound recently, but on Friday I decided to plant a small kowhai tree that I had been given. The soil was hard and the area had some very healthy twitch (or couchgrass). The exercise really lifted my mood. The tree is not yet planted as I need to do more weeding, but I'm so pleased the weather has co-operated.
I find gardening the best resort when it all gets too much. Not always easy in northern hemisphere November, what with weather, dwindling daylight and nothing growing. But I have some digging over and mulching I'm saving for when the need arises.
That makes three of us - being outside in the garden, even if it's doing something faintly ridiculous like picking up the fallen magnolia leaves from the flower beds, keeps the winter blues (mostly) at bay. Sunshine helps, however cold it is.
It's spring here so another mood lifter is walking 50 metres or so down the road to the river. There is a wide variety of bird life but papango/blackscaups (small diving ducks) are my favourites. I stand there looking at a seemingly uninhabited stretch of water and suddenly a duck pops up. I'm waiting for the ducklings to appear. Size wise they resemble rotund sparrows, but when they are only a few days old the can dive about 5ft down.
I really like my neighbourhood. When I bought my house 40 years ago (!) I was concerned about whether the river flooded in my street ( it doesn't) and how frequently the buses ran into town (now every 10 minutes on week days and 15 minutes on weekends) and that my street, a U shaped crescent off a major road, would be safe for the cats I knew I would have.
Now I realise how lucky I was to end up here. If I go to the older shopping centre I walk west along the river pathway, if I go east to the newer one I can walk either beside the river or through the wetlands to the estuary. People are friendly and the wildlife is varied and interesting.
That ability to walk to shops etc is vital. Although there are no shops or other commercial activity in our suburb, there are sufficient in the suburbs either side and within a reasonable walking distance. Even more facilities with a walk to the station and taking the train in either direction. Now that we've both retired we can combine a bit of shopping with a cup of coffee and with getting some exercise.
I agree, I knew I couldn't afford both a house and a car, so a good bus service was essential as was a short walking distance to the shops, the river and the wetlands were a bonus.
Two weeks before the winter solstice and I am doing fairly well so far. When we decided to move back to Buffalo from the southeastern corner of Virginia, people would say "Oh it's so COLD there and it SNOWS so much!" but it isn't the cold (or the snow) that is the problem. I would rather have two Buffalo winters than one Tidewater summer. It's the increase in hours of darkness that gets me.
My doctor recommended a light box. I was pretty skeptical about it working, but I went and got one, and it seems to be helping. (Yay!) Now if only they made a dark box for the too-long days of summer.
Two weeks before the winter solstice and I am doing fairly well so far. When we decided to move back to Buffalo from the southeastern corner of Virginia, people would say "Oh it's so COLD there and it SNOWS so much!" but it isn't the cold (or the snow) that is the problem. I would rather have two Buffalo winters than one Tidewater summer. It's the increase in hours of darkness that gets me.
My doctor recommended a light box. I was pretty skeptical about it working, but I went and got one, and it seems to be helping. (Yay!) Now if only they made a dark box for the too-long days of summer.
IKEA blackout blinds are cheap and reasonably effective (we're another 13-14 degrees further north). We also use daylight bulbs (gradually moving to LED as the CFL ones die) for all our lighting. My wife has 30W of LED in her work room which is equivalent to something like 250W incandescent.
I like daylight bulbs - they also help when choosing needlework colours.
I was feeling OK until I had to ring my youngest bro about some family stuff. The subject was depressing enough, but he is virulently anti- vaccination. I love him, but I am limiting the time I talk to him.
It was a bit like Arthur Dent in Hitch-Hikers' Guide to the Galaxy - "That's it. we're all going to die." which of course we are, in the end.
I, however am planning to be an imperious old lady who pokes cheeky little kids with her walking stick, like Nana Harris, a character from my childhood. 😛
I'm picturing you in Victorian dress right now Huia!!
I know what you mean by limiting time. My Mum can be so negative, always looking for the bad side of things. Sometimes I have to keep conversations short to stop myself arguing with her. Her behavior has a chicken/egg relationship with anxiety together with a rooster crow indicating her increasing lack of ability to control her own life.
Hope everyone is doing okay at Christmas. I'm in iso, along with quite a few people from church and people they provide care support to, and struggling to get a covid test as test places are mostly closed or on short hours over Christmas so feeling situational sadness, teariness and irrational guilt and anxiety. I'm usually okay at Christmas otherwise, but know it can be a hard time for many people as we are expected to be joyful and extroverted and getting along with family members and that isn't the case for many people. Especially during a pandemic that has messed our plans up many times and even taken people's loved ones. Keeping all in my prayers.
Thanks. My sister's mother-in-law is definitely positive per PCR test 🥺. So far everyone else is negative on antigen tests and no symptoms. Her husband is about 80 with health issues but triple vaccinated so hope he will be okay. She herself has mild symptoms and thought she had a sinus infection all week so hopefully she wasn't too contagious on Christmas.
Just a reminder that there is a dedicated mental health group associated with the ship - please contact me (PM) if there is anyone who would like more information, of want to join us.
Just a reminder that in this context "associated with the ship" refers to the individuals in the group, many of whom are or have been regular visitors to these forums. The group itself is not supported by or associated with the Ship in any way.
I'm feeling down today, but not depressed. My emotions are raw and close to the surface. I am experiencing pain emanating from the top of my spine and down my shoulders, and my rawness relates to that. I am noticing some avoidance in my behavior too. Physio tomorrow.
I'm sorry to hear you're feeling down ST. I hope physio is a help. I freaked out today, as I do sometimes in the face of impossible situations which feel like they're all up to me. I was very lucky that someone trustworthy managed me, which turned me back into someone who can just turn up and do useful stuff.
My sympathies, ST; pain is a very debilitating thing. I hope the physio goes well.
M-in-m, one of the reasons I am an Associate Lecturer with the OU, rather than a traditional academic in a brick building, is that I couldn’t cope with stress. It was the same in my nursing career and why I went into a practice development role rather than management.
Yesterday I was at an online doctorate training event and I’m there again today until lunch. I’m feeling tired from the extra activity on top of my normal schedule and I expect to be out of sorts all week, and probably manic. This morning I think they are going to want us to do some writing for an hour and half in each other’s company. This is really not going to happen because I cannot switch concentration on and off like that, especially when I am tired and out of my normal routine.
The pain is reducing somewhat, and I have been buoyed by news today that my operation is likely to go ahead earlier than planned, on Valentines Day. I also got a call from my boss, who read through the lines of an email I sent.
I don't understand my boss - the way she thinks, I mean. She doesn't do things I expect her to do. My boss's boss I understand. She thinks like me. My boss is not a nasty person, quite the opposite. When she does strange things it generally harms her. Its a cultural thing I think. Me and her boss are Anglos from similar backgrounds. My boss is a recent immigrant trying to work her way through an unfamiliar system.
Anyway, everyone but me is in the Omicron supported residency crisis - the toughest part of the pandemic by far for Australian disability services. I hope my two bosses are bonding.
I've been doing 'not-so-bad' with the black dog. The bugger pisses up my leg occasionally, but although the hole is pretty deep, I do not stay down there for very long. That constitutes a significant improvement over the almost permanent glums that I was suffering from last year. When I go down the hole, I comfort myself by dreaming of having a happy second marriage. We had 18 good years, and I owe it to her to keep going through this stage of her life, but the prospect of twenty years of it terrifies me. Coping with my wife's health problems takes a huge amount of energy, and the impact of her various medical issues on our marriage has been enormous. It isn't a one-way street, of course. My family background means that I have little clue about chronic illness and its effects, as my lot tend to live to 90, get sick, and keel over.
I'm very pleased to hear that your low points aren't lasting long.
I wonder if the fantasy of escape, useful to battle the demon, is sustainable. I understand the urge to flee, and I also understand having a safe place to speak out dangerous thoughts.
Do you have access to carers' support groups where you are? I'm certain your feelings are very common.
Unfortunately, my mobility is limited by the fact I don't have a driving license, and the wife is 150% opposed to me having one, so getting to a carers' group is a major problem. I'm also a bit anxious how I would triangulate with such a group. FWIW, there is public transport locally, but it seems to be designed to get you to the edge of town shopping centre and for nothing else. I'm not quite sure why the wife takes a head-in-the-sand attitude when it comes to the need for a second driver, but I have my theories.
My Mum's experience looking after my Dad who had dementia was that she just kept going and going and going until she collapsed. To a large degree it was a matter of us all being frogs sitting in slowly heating water, until suddenly we were cooked and it was too late to jump out of the saucepan.
Self care is critical to caring for others. I really hope you can find a way to be supported in your circumstances, PDR. In Australia, I would access a GP to find out information as to what might best suit, but there are also other sources. There are organisations here dedicated to getting people to the right services who I might also use as a first contact point. I'd look for organisations dealing with mental health.
I am very familiar with the hopeless feeling of just wanting to bury myself under the doona. There is no hope there. It is a monumental struggle to do anything at all when I am depressed. Seeking help is the first step.
You have my prayers, PDR, and I can feel my heart reaching out to you.
Things are crashing in on me a bit today. Muscle pain across the shoulders not helping. We are moving houses temporarily at work, so some anticipatory stress there, and I also had a zoom meeting concerning Prison Chaplaincy last night. I will be volunteering to start with from the end of the month. Then a short break to NZ to celebrate my wife's 50th needs organising. And my wife is suffering in her job right now, so that break will be needed.
Pfffft. Too much!!!!
I shall post in a few days. I'm employing the strategies that work to date, so if they continue to work I should be fine tomorrow.
I've also been thinking about getting some counselling and spiritual direction through this transition period. I'll wait till tomorrow to progress that. Spiritual direction is the go, but I also want to talk through some experiences around growth and personal change that could be the work of the spirit but could also be borderline psychosis (scary word, but I have learned that psychosis is not necessarily a complete disaster, just something to manage with help. I am much much much more vulnerable to WORRYING about psychosis).
I mean (I think) that I can validly and correctly discern the work of the Spirit within me, but there is a danger of losing perspective, of getting obsessed with the process of personal change/development in a way that is harmful. That's what I'm calling psychosis. I am not a professional. I may be using the label incorrectly.
Sorry to hear that things are a bit unsettled, Simon Toad. I always find that when things are getting too much, everything becomes overwhelming and I begin to be unsure of what is the reality of situations.
I have had a long bout of depression, about 6-8 weeks. I usually get a short bout of depression in February followed by mania in March but the pandemic appears to have left me with an overall malaise. My depression coincided with war breaking out in Ukraine so I became hyperanxious (of the ‘my sons will be sent to war and we are all going to die’ variety) and had to take a break from reading the news or politics websites. I am much better now but am looking forward to the end of the academic year.
Thankyou both. I'm pleased to say that my strategies are working. I'm calling it Name and Shame Plus, because I am that sort of person... I like naming things I recognise what I'm feeling and where I am feeling it in my body. I acknowledge what I am feeling. It still feels like its going to go on forever, but I now know that's not true.
I'm stinking of heat rub right now, but that's managing the muscle soreness. I also have a heat pack across my shoulders.
HA the Ukraine war set lots of us off I reckon. I gave up commenting on the Ukraine thread here for similar reasons. I'm very glad you are through your low mood. Your post suggests there is seasonal aspect for you. The surfing film "endless summer" comes to mind as a therapy
Simon Toad I hope you and your wife enjoy a good break over here and that you have a chance to see and try some new things.
My stock piece of advice to visitors is that if you are going into the bush or mountains be careful - the weather can change and rivers can rise very rapidly and even seasoned trampers have been caught out.
I was doing great for a while, then I had to change my meds and still stayed afloat until it was back to work after a holiday. I have a 9am regular team call on Mondays and a nanosecond after joining, my mood hit the floor. That was 10 days ago. I am moving between really really low mood and then feeling angry, resentful.
My q is : how to manage anger so as not to alienate friends. I am so worried about saying something really snippy or snide, or hurtful and creating a rift or damaging someone else.
I was doing great for a while, then I had to change my meds and still stayed afloat until it was back to work after a holiday. I have a 9am regular team call on Mondays and a nanosecond after joining, my mood hit the floor. That was 10 days ago. I am moving between really really low mood and then feeling angry, resentful.
My q is : how to manage anger so as not to alienate friends. I am so worried about saying something really snippy or snide, or hurtful and creating a rift or damaging someone else.
I do what LC does, but the capacity to warn requires recognition of how you are feeling, and what things/moods/situations are problematic.
I have damaged people with my anger too. I've been deliberately working on it for maybe a decade. It doesn't seem that long, but it probably is, thinking back to the time when I threatened to break someone's windows. I shocked and scared myself so much that I just had to do something.
I couldn't do it on my own, but there was stop-start with counsellors for a while. Eventually though I worked out a method that was an amalgam of what two different counsellors said.
It is kind of giving up smoking. I tried and tried and then, relatively recently it seems to have clicked. I pat myself on the back, too, when I confront a "trigger" situation and keep a lid on things. That happened a couple of days ago when I took my Mum up to Qld. Our flight was delayed, and when we got to our destination the hire car company's desk was closed AND Mum's bag didn't show. So stressed, tired, and upset we nevertheless managed to sort things out without me ripping someone's head off.
I have been in excellent form in recent months, really excellent, beyond belief.
But now the sneaky black dog is sneaking back in again, and I just want to do nothing. It's so tedious.
I think you've said elsewhere that this is part of a cycle. Now, this may be a very silly question indeed, but are you able (through experience) to know roughly when you will rise from the current depths?
I have been in excellent form in recent months, really excellent, beyond belief.
But now the sneaky black dog is sneaking back in again, and I just want to do nothing. It's so tedious.
I think you've said elsewhere that this is part of a cycle. Now, this may be a very silly question indeed, but are you able (through experience) to know roughly when you will rise from the current depths?
It could literally be a day, a week, or a month. Very hard to predict. I am fighting it hard as I have learned that if I don't ignore it, I can make it retreat. If I do ignore it, it keeps coming.
Tedious is a vey good description that captures the bleakness in my experience. I realised how tight the muscles in my neck and shoulders were yesterday and decided I needed a bubble bath. I haven't had one for months and they used to be one of my favourite remedies. I even found some of the lavender bath crystals that are now no longer imported here. :c
Then, while I was in the bath I remembered that I used to treat myself to a massage from a relaxation physiotherapist as well, so I hunted out her details and booked an appointment for Monday.
Now I have something to look forward to as well.
Sighthound I hope you can get back in touch with whatever it is that works well for you.
Yes, sometimes we need to be good to ourselves and administer some tlc. And remind ourselves that it will pass, no matter how much it seems otherwise at present.
Good on you for sharing, Sighthound. I was thinking the other day about how hard it is to discuss depression. I talk about mental health all the time, I’m openly bipolar to colleagues and students, I’m doing a doctorate about mental health and interview people about it so it should be easy for me. I even told two people at church a few weeks ago what it was like to experience mania and psychosis, and discussed the thin line between the two. Yet the nature of depression is that you (meaning me) withdraw and don’t want to talk about it.
I think mental issues are extremely difficult to describe adequately. I'm quite good with words, but it's still a struggle. The words I might use, such as feeling life is pointless, that everything feels gloomy, that I just don't want to be bothered, don't really cut it. It's all of this, and more, and very variable.
The odd thing is, I think that this time I have 'caught it early' before it got too fierce a grip on me. I do actually feel better today. Not 100%, but as if I could summon up the energy to do something useful and productive. I suppose the key thing is how I feel tomorrow, and I have no idea how that will turn out.
I think I may have told of the time some years ago when I went through a bout of depression, and mentioned it to Father F*ckwit.
I was told that *a Christian should never be depressed*, showing that he had no idea what I was talking about, and that he had the pastoral skills of a bed-bug.
After that, I kept quiet about it. It passed, eventually.
I've heard similar about anxiety and lacking faith, usually from someone with a comfortable life who has never experienced it. I decided in response to stand up at the front of the church and tell them that when I had my worst mental health breakdown my faith was at its strongest because I knew that God was the only thing I could rely on in an uncertain world. And I keep telling anyone who will listen, including the church elders, that they could learn a lot about faith from those of us with mental health challenges who continue to have faith despite everything.
I have often told others that two people kept me from topping myself. My wife, and Jesus. I think faith (of whatever kind) can be a great pillar of support.
I am sure that there must be saints who were depressed at some point in their lives.
Comments
Given the behaviour, I could more readily believe the Pratchettian view of technology - it's actually small demons imprisoned in boxes doing the thinking - than the almost immeasurably complex electronics that is actually the case. And I'm someone with a decent working knowledge of computers.
Sometimes more obscure browsers are kept up to date better for older operating systems so might have more luck than mainstream ones. UR Browser is one such.
Thanks for the views on technology - really helpful and interesting. (I’ve never read any Pratchett, but I like that take on the problem!)
I really like my neighbourhood. When I bought my house 40 years ago (!) I was concerned about whether the river flooded in my street ( it doesn't) and how frequently the buses ran into town (now every 10 minutes on week days and 15 minutes on weekends) and that my street, a U shaped crescent off a major road, would be safe for the cats I knew I would have.
Now I realise how lucky I was to end up here. If I go to the older shopping centre I walk west along the river pathway, if I go east to the newer one I can walk either beside the river or through the wetlands to the estuary. People are friendly and the wildlife is varied and interesting.
My doctor recommended a light box. I was pretty skeptical about it working, but I went and got one, and it seems to be helping. (Yay!) Now if only they made a dark box for the too-long days of summer.
IKEA blackout blinds are cheap and reasonably effective (we're another 13-14 degrees further north). We also use daylight bulbs (gradually moving to LED as the CFL ones die) for all our lighting. My wife has 30W of LED in her work room which is equivalent to something like 250W incandescent.
I was feeling OK until I had to ring my youngest bro about some family stuff. The subject was depressing enough, but he is virulently anti- vaccination. I love him, but I am limiting the time I talk to him.
It was a bit like Arthur Dent in Hitch-Hikers' Guide to the Galaxy - "That's it. we're all going to die." which of course we are, in the end.
I, however am planning to be an imperious old lady who pokes cheeky little kids with her walking stick, like Nana Harris, a character from my childhood. 😛
I know what you mean by limiting time. My Mum can be so negative, always looking for the bad side of things. Sometimes I have to keep conversations short to stop myself arguing with her. Her behavior has a chicken/egg relationship with anxiety together with a rooster crow indicating her increasing lack of ability to control her own life.
Thank you.
Alan
Ship of Fools Admin
M-in-m, one of the reasons I am an Associate Lecturer with the OU, rather than a traditional academic in a brick building, is that I couldn’t cope with stress. It was the same in my nursing career and why I went into a practice development role rather than management.
Yesterday I was at an online doctorate training event and I’m there again today until lunch. I’m feeling tired from the extra activity on top of my normal schedule and I expect to be out of sorts all week, and probably manic. This morning I think they are going to want us to do some writing for an hour and half in each other’s company. This is really not going to happen because I cannot switch concentration on and off like that, especially when I am tired and out of my normal routine.
The pain is reducing somewhat, and I have been buoyed by news today that my operation is likely to go ahead earlier than planned, on Valentines Day. I also got a call from my boss, who read through the lines of an email I sent.
I don't understand my boss - the way she thinks, I mean. She doesn't do things I expect her to do. My boss's boss I understand. She thinks like me. My boss is not a nasty person, quite the opposite. When she does strange things it generally harms her. Its a cultural thing I think. Me and her boss are Anglos from similar backgrounds. My boss is a recent immigrant trying to work her way through an unfamiliar system.
Anyway, everyone but me is in the Omicron supported residency crisis - the toughest part of the pandemic by far for Australian disability services. I hope my two bosses are bonding.
I wonder if the fantasy of escape, useful to battle the demon, is sustainable. I understand the urge to flee, and I also understand having a safe place to speak out dangerous thoughts.
Do you have access to carers' support groups where you are? I'm certain your feelings are very common.
Self care is critical to caring for others. I really hope you can find a way to be supported in your circumstances, PDR. In Australia, I would access a GP to find out information as to what might best suit, but there are also other sources. There are organisations here dedicated to getting people to the right services who I might also use as a first contact point. I'd look for organisations dealing with mental health.
I am very familiar with the hopeless feeling of just wanting to bury myself under the doona. There is no hope there. It is a monumental struggle to do anything at all when I am depressed. Seeking help is the first step.
You have my prayers, PDR, and I can feel my heart reaching out to you.
Pfffft. Too much!!!!
I shall post in a few days. I'm employing the strategies that work to date, so if they continue to work I should be fine tomorrow.
I've also been thinking about getting some counselling and spiritual direction through this transition period. I'll wait till tomorrow to progress that. Spiritual direction is the go, but I also want to talk through some experiences around growth and personal change that could be the work of the spirit but could also be borderline psychosis (scary word, but I have learned that psychosis is not necessarily a complete disaster, just something to manage with help. I am much much much more vulnerable to WORRYING about psychosis).
I mean (I think) that I can validly and correctly discern the work of the Spirit within me, but there is a danger of losing perspective, of getting obsessed with the process of personal change/development in a way that is harmful. That's what I'm calling psychosis. I am not a professional. I may be using the label incorrectly.
I have had a long bout of depression, about 6-8 weeks. I usually get a short bout of depression in February followed by mania in March but the pandemic appears to have left me with an overall malaise. My depression coincided with war breaking out in Ukraine so I became hyperanxious (of the ‘my sons will be sent to war and we are all going to die’ variety) and had to take a break from reading the news or politics websites. I am much better now but am looking forward to the end of the academic year.
I'm stinking of heat rub right now, but that's managing the muscle soreness. I also have a heat pack across my shoulders.
HA the Ukraine war set lots of us off I reckon. I gave up commenting on the Ukraine thread here for similar reasons. I'm very glad you are through your low mood. Your post suggests there is seasonal aspect for you. The surfing film "endless summer" comes to mind as a therapy
My stock piece of advice to visitors is that if you are going into the bush or mountains be careful - the weather can change and rivers can rise very rapidly and even seasoned trampers have been caught out.
Most of the locals are reasonably friendly.
My q is : how to manage anger so as not to alienate friends. I am so worried about saying something really snippy or snide, or hurtful and creating a rift or damaging someone else.
I do what LC does, but the capacity to warn requires recognition of how you are feeling, and what things/moods/situations are problematic.
I have damaged people with my anger too. I've been deliberately working on it for maybe a decade. It doesn't seem that long, but it probably is, thinking back to the time when I threatened to break someone's windows. I shocked and scared myself so much that I just had to do something.
I couldn't do it on my own, but there was stop-start with counsellors for a while. Eventually though I worked out a method that was an amalgam of what two different counsellors said.
It is kind of giving up smoking. I tried and tried and then, relatively recently it seems to have clicked. I pat myself on the back, too, when I confront a "trigger" situation and keep a lid on things. That happened a couple of days ago when I took my Mum up to Qld. Our flight was delayed, and when we got to our destination the hire car company's desk was closed AND Mum's bag didn't show. So stressed, tired, and upset we nevertheless managed to sort things out without me ripping someone's head off.
But now the sneaky black dog is sneaking back in again, and I just want to do nothing. It's so tedious.
I think you've said elsewhere that this is part of a cycle. Now, this may be a very silly question indeed, but are you able (through experience) to know roughly when you will rise from the current depths?
It could literally be a day, a week, or a month. Very hard to predict. I am fighting it hard as I have learned that if I don't ignore it, I can make it retreat. If I do ignore it, it keeps coming.
🙏🙏
Then, while I was in the bath I remembered that I used to treat myself to a massage from a relaxation physiotherapist as well, so I hunted out her details and booked an appointment for Monday.
Now I have something to look forward to as well.
Sighthound I hope you can get back in touch with whatever it is that works well for you.
Good on you for sharing, Sighthound. I was thinking the other day about how hard it is to discuss depression. I talk about mental health all the time, I’m openly bipolar to colleagues and students, I’m doing a doctorate about mental health and interview people about it so it should be easy for me. I even told two people at church a few weeks ago what it was like to experience mania and psychosis, and discussed the thin line between the two. Yet the nature of depression is that you (meaning me) withdraw and don’t want to talk about it.
The odd thing is, I think that this time I have 'caught it early' before it got too fierce a grip on me. I do actually feel better today. Not 100%, but as if I could summon up the energy to do something useful and productive. I suppose the key thing is how I feel tomorrow, and I have no idea how that will turn out.
I was told that *a Christian should never be depressed*, showing that he had no idea what I was talking about, and that he had the pastoral skills of a bed-bug.
After that, I kept quiet about it. It passed, eventually.
I am sure that there must be saints who were depressed at some point in their lives.