Circus: The Lion and Boris
@Ricardus' post here is simply crying out to be turned into a Circus thread.
You are invited to contribute one or more lines of a reworked version of Stanley Holloway's famous The Lion and Albert poem (read by the author here), as adjusted for the current UK Prime Minister.
Each line should correspond as closely to the original, except if it clashingly doesn't, in the best tradition of British puns. E.g. the original Blackpool reference is begging for a follow-up in the form of some allusion to a party conference...
@boogie and I got started over in Hell, but I suggest we start all over again here and see how we do.
"There's a famous seaside place called Blackpool..."
You are invited to contribute one or more lines of a reworked version of Stanley Holloway's famous The Lion and Albert poem (read by the author here), as adjusted for the current UK Prime Minister.
Each line should correspond as closely to the original, except if it clashingly doesn't, in the best tradition of British puns. E.g. the original Blackpool reference is begging for a follow-up in the form of some allusion to a party conference...
@boogie and I got started over in Hell, but I suggest we start all over again here and see how we do.
"There's a famous seaside place called Blackpool..."
Comments
Where all legislation is done
And Mr & Mrs Johnson
Went there with young Boris, their son
By ignoring historic conventions,
he'd really set up quite a stink.
An Etonian he might have been, yes,
But a gentleman he clearly is not,
For he clearly thinks honour and truth
Apply only to a girly swot.
The votes, they were fiddlin', and small
And Rees-Mogg, in a somnolent posture
Went spoilin' 'is image, 'an all.
Whose behaviour got Tories all riled
So when Boris fell foul of his judgements
It didn’t seem right to the child
Decided "no more Commons time"
Took a prorogue with a Boris 'ead 'andle
And stuck it where the sun doesn't shine.
The Scottish one said, "That's not right.
You can't go round closing the Commons
Or the Lords, without facing a fight".
And didn’t know what to do next
They said Boris had lied to her
And the Queen said “well I am vexed”
Quite rightly when all’s said and done
Applied to the courts for a judgment
And attracted the ire of The Sun
That what Boris had done was all wrong
And that stifling talk about Brexit
Was what it was for all along
"Well thank you ma'am kindly", said he
"What, start to comply and be lawful
Respect ruddy MPs? Not me!"
Extra points to Eutychus for working in the 'somnolent posture'.