Hymn parodies - sermon help please

OffeiriadOffeiriad Shipmate Posts: 29
I've always enjoyed parodies of hymns - who can forget 'Bright the Prayer Book that delighted General Synod's shell-like ear, loud the pop group's beat united: mod the language, fab the gear'? (Well I can't anyway....)

In preparation for Sunday's sermon, I'm looking for a half-remembered parody of 'Rise up, O men of God', that began (I think) 'Sit down, O men of God, you cannot do a thing'.

Does this ring a bell with anybody please? Can you supply the complete words? I'd be ever so grateful - thank you!
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Comments

  • Ex_OrganistEx_Organist Shipmate
    “Sit down, O men of God,
    His Kingdom he will bring,
    Just as and when and where he will,
    You cannot do a thing.”

    Robert McAfee Brown, The Bible Speaks to You, page 211
  • OffeiriadOffeiriad Shipmate Posts: 29
    Amazing, thank you. Is it just one verse?
  • Ex_OrganistEx_Organist Shipmate
    There is just the one verse.
  • :lol:

    Like a mighty tortoise moves the church of God

    So true...
  • Baptist TrainfanBaptist Trainfan Shipmate
    edited July 28
    If it moves at all ...
  • Bishops FingerBishops Finger Shipmate
    edited July 28
    Y e s i t d o e s - s o m e t i m e s...

    B e w i t h y o u i n a d e c a d e, S i r...
  • A decade ... so soon? There's no undue rush!
  • I did catch a rather amusing thread on twitter than began with the slightly mean:
    I have a joke about modern worship songs
    I have a joke about modern worship songs
    I have a joke about modern worship songs
    I have a joke about modern worship songs
    I have a joke about modern worship songs
    I have a joke about modern worship songs

    To which I couldn't resist replying:
    The psalms I have about a joke
    That meter sung in are
    Grammar as humour twisted is
    And hard’st to sing by far
  • Surely that must be from the Scottish psalter?
  • Surely that must be from the Scottish psalter?

    Success! :D
  • ZappaZappa Ecclesiantics Host
    Hosting

    A gentle reminder that in general "homework threads" are discouraged (though to be fair it's not mentioned in the 10 commandments) ... but in any case, @Offeiriad has their answer (and on the Old Shippe would still be well within Grace Period™) and the thread has segued most respectably to light relief from Global Disintegration and its Minions and it's a pleasant morning (my time) and I need more coffee even though my Dr will only let me have decaf these days :cry.

    So, you know, carry on ...

    /Hosting
  • BroJamesBroJames Purgatory Host, 8th Day Host
    The Psalter Scots admire I do
    A work most wondrous ‘tis
    Scripture it filleth through and through
    Though poesy’s amiss.
  • Zappa wrote: »
    ,... my Dr will only let me have decaf these days .
    Is Outrage.

  • OrdoOrdo Shipmate Posts: 7
    There are many for Onward Christian soldiers - it seems to be a gift to rhymesters. The big problem is and will be that many of the parodies just won't work because many people will no longer know the original (Bright the vision that delighted..............) as some of these old hymns are now rarely sung. Maybe I am wrong .
  • Nick TamenNick Tamen Shipmate
    Ordo wrote: »
    The big problem is and will be that many of the parodies just won't work because many people will no longer know the original (Bright the vision that delighted..............) as some of these old hymns are now rarely sung. Maybe I am wrong .
    I’ve never encountered “Bright the vision that delighted” (which means the example given in the OP was baffling to me). I’ve done a quick look through hymnals, and haven’t found it in any American hymnals, regardless of denomination, save one—Rejoice in the Lord, the 1985 hymnal of the Reformed Church in America edited by Erik Routley. It’s not in the RCA’s current hymnal.

  • BroJamesBroJames Purgatory Host, 8th Day Host
    For some it may be more familiar as a hymn beginning with ‘Lord, thy glory fills the heavens’
    Hymnary.org lists ‘Bright the vision’ in the following books (mostly, I guess, from this side of the pond):
    Ancient and Modern #603
    Anglican Hymns Old and New (Rev. and Enl.) #88
    Australian Hymn Book #69
    Page Scan
    Christian Hymns for Public and Private Worship #111
    Christian Praise #d49
    Church Hymnal, Fifth Edition #316
    Church Hymnal, Fourth Edition #328
    Church Hymns #200
    Common Praise (1998) #326
    Common Praise #392
    Complete Anglican Hymns Old and New #86
    Hymns Ancient and Modern (Standard ed.) #161
    Hymns Ancient and Modern, New Edition #310
    Hymns Ancient and Modern, New Standard Edition #96
    Hymns Ancient and Modern, Revised #161
    Hymns Ancient and Modern #303
    Hymns for Today's Church (2nd ed.) #578
    Hymns of the Church, Ancient and Modern #12
    Hymns of the Living Church #356
    Hymns Old and New #70
    Massachusetts Sabbath School Hymn Book #d22
    Rejoice in the Lord #612
    Sing Glory #29
    Songs of praise #460
    The Australian Hymn Book with Catholic Supplement #69
    The Book of Common Praise, being the Hymn Book of the Church of England in Canada. Annotated ed. #d69
    The Book of Common Praise #369
    The Christian Hymn Book #662
    The Cyber Hymnal #636
    The Day School Hymn Book. New and enl. ed. #d11
    The Disciples' Hymn Book #82
    The English Hymnal #372
    The Hymn Book of the Anglican Church of Canada and the United Church of Canada #43
    The Hymnal Companion to the Book of Common Prayer with accompanying tunes (3rd ed., rev. and enl.) #264
    The Irish Presbyterian Hymbook #157
    The New English Hymnal #343
    The Oxford Hymn Book #121
    The Riverdale Hymn Book #45
    The Sabbath School Melodist #49
    The St. Alban Hymnal #d43
    Youthful Voices #d31
  • Nick TamenNick Tamen Shipmate
    BroJames wrote: »
    For some it may be more familiar as a hymn beginning with ‘Lord, thy glory fills the heavens’
    FWIW, I’ve looked in a number of American hymnals—Presbyterian, Episcopal, Lutheran, Methodist, Reformed, Baptist, Catholic and others—I didn’t find it by that title in any of them. (I checked for “Lord, your glory fills the heavens” too.)

  • PDRPDR Shipmate
    edited July 30
    Richard Mant 'Lord, thy glory fills the heavens', which is extracted from the longer hymn 'Bright the vision that delighted, once the sight of Judah's seer.' Good Hackney Phalanx man, your boy Mant! Did not catch on in North America - fairly standard fodder in the UK.

  • OblatusOblatus Shipmate
    Nick Tamen wrote: »
    BroJames wrote: »
    For some it may be more familiar as a hymn beginning with ‘Lord, thy glory fills the heavens’
    FWIW, I’ve looked in a number of American hymnals—Presbyterian, Episcopal, Lutheran, Methodist, Reformed, Baptist, Catholic and others—I didn’t find it by that title in any of them. (I checked for “Lord, your glory fills the heavens” too.)

    For some reason this made me think of this updating:

    Rock of ages, split in two / let me hide myself in You.
  • KarlLBKarlLB Shipmate
    Like a mighty dinosaur
    Moves the church of God
    Brothers we we are treading
    Where no sane man has trod
    We are not divided
    Oh no honestly
    One in Truth and bigotry
    Just see us at Drumcree

    Onward Christian soldiers
    Spoiling for a fight
    With the cross of Jesus
    Clearly out of sight
  • CyprianCyprian Shipmate
    I can't believe we've got this far down the thread without a link to this offering from the illustrious and effulgent beacon of spiritual grace that is the Dioccese of Wenchoster.
  • Wonderful!!!!!
  • PendragonPendragon Shipmate
    That is hilarious. Especially given some of the people who have been to St Quacks in the last year.
  • CyprianCyprian Shipmate
    They are good, aren't they?

    There's a wider selection here, including a rather jolly hymn for the feast of the Cicumcision of the Lord.
  • Thank you, Cyprian; I used to regularly check that wonderful site, including their Journal (which I can't seem to find wholesale) which, among other things, had delights like this.
  • SipechSipech Shipmate
    There's an old Yorkshire hymn: Ee by gum, m'Lord, ee by gum
  • Amanda B ReckondwythAmanda B Reckondwyth 8th Day Host, Mystery Worship Editor
    Offeiriad wrote: »
    I'm looking for a half-remembered parody of 'Rise up, O men of God', that began (I think) 'Sit down, O men of God, you cannot do a thing'.
    The version I know is:

    Sit down, ye men of God.
    There's nothing you can do.
    It's all predestined, all arranged,
    What Calvin said was true.
  • Love it! Is there an Arminian version?
  • That site is fantastic, @Cyprian :smile:
    (To be hummed slowly and quietly)

    Vicar, remember me?
    I was in your congregation.

    (To be repeated ad nauseum)
    :smiley:

    I have a book by Andrew Rumsey which has some funny hymn parodies in it, one of which is quoted online, oh look here!
  • From Grammar School days:
    Sit down, sit down for Jesus,
    The people at the back can't see
    .

    and then there's the somewhat dated (because Calmac doesn't fit):
    The Earth belongs unto the Lord
    And all that it contains,
    Excepting the west highland piers
    For they are all MacBraynes
  • I've heard a slightly different version:

    The guid Lord made the sea and sky,
    And o'er them doth reign -
    Except the Western Highlands,
    Which belong tae the MacBrayne...


    (For those not in the know, the firm of David MacBrayne ran shipping and bus services along Scotland's western seaboard, and to and from the various islands, for many generations from 1851. I understand that it is today owned by the Scottish Government, no less.)
  • Amanda B ReckondwythAmanda B Reckondwyth 8th Day Host, Mystery Worship Editor
    And the infamous couplet from "I sing a song of the saints of God" (which I call the "Wannabe Hymn"):

    And one was a bishop, and one was a queen,
    And one was both, if you know who I mean.
  • ChoristerChorister Shipmate
    I made a collection of all the ones I'd found, too long to post here. But the first verse of one we sang at a choir party particularly stays in my mind:

    Immoral, Impossible, God only knows
    How tenors and basses,
    Sopranos, altos
    At service on Sunday
    Are rarely the same
    As those who on Friday
    To choir practice came.
  • Amanda B ReckondwythAmanda B Reckondwyth 8th Day Host, Mystery Worship Editor
    Yes, that one's a classic.
  • The Church's restoration
    In eighteen eighty-three
    Has left for contemplation
    Not what there used to be.
    How well the ancient woodwork
    Looks in the Rectory hall -
    Memorial to the good work
    Of him who planned it all.
  • Yes, but that's by a proper poet - Betjeman (and there are three more verses!).
  • Bishops FingerBishops Finger Shipmate
    edited October 2
    Betjeman = proper poet could be seen by some as an oxymoron...

    I'll get me quill pen, and me quire of foolscap.
  • Betjeman = proper poet could be seen by some as an oxymoron...
    I did wonder that ...

  • Hehe...some of his stuff is OK, if rather doggerel-ish.

    His film of a journey along the Somerset & Dorset line to Highbridge and Burnham is a classic, even though no Peotry is involved.

    It also has nothing whatever to do with this thread, so apologies for the tangent.
  • Indeed not! You should be thoroughly ashamed of yourself! Disgraceful!

    (I have the video ...).
  • (Enjoyable, isn't it? Especially his disreputable Hat...)
  • Like Paddington's ...?
  • Bishops FingerBishops Finger Shipmate
    edited October 2
    Now you come to mention it, yes, it is...

    Which reminds me of the hymn about Paddington's sister, and their Mum...

    Can a woman's tender care
    Cease towards the child she-bear?


    Or there's the one all about Gladly, the cross-eyed bear...
  • Baptist TrainfanBaptist Trainfan Shipmate
    edited October 2
    But did that last one ever really exist? Or is it an urban ecclesiastical myth?
  • Sort of - it's a slight alteration to the 3rd verse of a hymn by Fanny Crosby, no less:

    Keep Thou my all, O Lord, Hide my life in Thine;
    O let Thy sacred light O'er my pathway shine;
    Kept by Thy tender care, Gladly the cross I'll bear
    Hear Thou and grant my pray'r, Hide my life in Thine.


    IIRC, I've actually sung this hymn, back in the Daze Of My Yoof...
  • ZappaZappa Ecclesiantics Host
    Hosting

    A reminder that some of the satirical poems may be intellectual property and that copyright infringements (no matter how many other times they appear on the internet) will not be tolerated.

    /Hosting
  • PigletPiglet All Saints Host, Circus Host
    I don't think this thread would be complete without the old Scots way of getting round a rule that forbade singing actual hymns on days that weren't the Sabbath (for instance at choir practice):

    There was an old Seceder cat
    And it was unco grey;
    It caught a mouse within God's house
    Upon the Sabbath day


    Of course, as it's in Common Metre, it'll fit any acceptable tune.
  • john holdingjohn holding Ecclesiantics Host, Mystery Worshipper Host
    Piglet wrote: »
    I don't think this thread would be complete without the old Scots way of getting round a rule that forbade singing actual hymns on days that weren't the Sabbath (for instance at choir practice):

    There was an old Seceder cat
    And it was unco grey;
    It caught a mouse within God's house
    Upon the Sabbath day


    Of course, as it's in Common Metre, it'll fit any acceptable tune.

    Those words (and the second and third verse) were what I first learned the tune Lyngham to. Lyngham not being known of this side of the Atlantic.
  • CathscatsCathscats Shipmate
    The version I have sung (in a church choir) has the third line saying “It brocht a moose intae the Kirk...”

    That took a long time to write, thanks to the bright suggestions of predictive text!
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