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Boris's new Ethics Advisor (or not)

PigletPiglet All Saints Host, Circus Host
in The Circus
Lord Geidt, Ethics Advisor to Boris Johnson, has resigned (and who could blame him?).

I'm sure Shipmates could come up with ideas for a replacement - the more unsuitable the better - and being dead doesn't disqualify you.

I think the shortlist should probably include Caligula and Judas Iscariot - two fine, upstanding exemplars of moral and fiscal probity.
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Comments

  • DoublethinkDoublethink Admin, 8th Day Host
    edited June 2022
    Niccolò Machiavelli
  • Bishops FingerBishops Finger Shipmate
    edited June 2022
    I suggest the Archangel Gabriel, who I'm sure would be up for a challenge.

    Pol Pot, maybe, if the Archangel is otherwise engaged?
  • alienfromzogalienfromzog Shipmate
    Al Kiefer.

    West Wing S1E16

    In Toby's words:
    "You're the guy who runs into
    the 7-Eleven to get Satan cigarettes."

  • Bishops FingerBishops Finger Shipmate
    :lol:

    Saruman of Many Colours?
  • alienfromzogalienfromzog Shipmate
    Smithers
  • Stercus TauriStercus Tauri Shipmate
    Rudy Giuliani is currently looking for employment opportunities that don't require him to hold a current licence to practice law.
  • Nick TamenNick Tamen Shipmate
    edited June 2022
    Bishops Finger wrote: »
    I suggest the Archangel Gabriel, who I'm sure would be up for a challenge.
    Or perhaps Lucifer?

  • alienfromzogalienfromzog Shipmate
    Iago
  • AnnAnn Shipmate Posts: 42
    Taking inspiration from "Augustus Carp, Esq., By Himself: Being the Autobiography of a Really Good Man", whose father thought long and hard about finding a godfather for his son before coming to the obvious conclusion that the only person (after the vicar) who had all the necessary virtues was himself, I nominate Alexander Boris de Pfeffel Johnson.
  • Bishops FingerBishops Finger Shipmate
    Following on from a previous suggestion:

    Mr Burns
    Ann wrote: »
    Taking inspiration from "Augustus Carp, Esq., By Himself: Being the Autobiography of a Really Good Man", whose father thought long and hard about finding a godfather for his son before coming to the obvious conclusion that the only person (after the vicar) who had all the necessary virtues was himself, I nominate Alexander Boris de Pfeffel Johnson.

    :lol:
  • Bishops FingerBishops Finger Shipmate
    Peri the Cockroach would do as good a job as anyone:

    https://www.theguardian.com/uk-news/2022/jun/15/eighteenth-century-cockroach-found-in-slave-trading-ships-accounts
  • KarlLBKarlLB Shipmate
    Johnson having an ethics advisor is like Hannibal Lector having a dietician.

    Struggling to think who'd be suitable - St Jude (patron Saint of lost causes, I believe)?
  • stetsonstetson Shipmate
    Doublethink wrote: »
    Niccolò Machiavelli

    A lot of people wouldn't consider that an insult. I've heard fairly progressive politicians say that they've learned a lot from reading The Prince.
  • la vie en rougela vie en rouge Purgatory Host, Circus Host
    Emmanuel Macron wrote his thesis on Machiavelli. It shows. (Flawed as he is, I consider him a much more honourable politician than Johnson.)
  • Bishops FingerBishops Finger Shipmate
    edited June 2022
    Hmm. I did think of nominating Lord Vetinari (Patrician of Ankh-Morpork in the Discworld books), but he wouldn't bother trying to advise Boris...bear in mind that The Patrician is a highly-skilled member of The Guild Of Assassins, and Let The Reader Understand.
    :naughty:
  • stetsonstetson Shipmate
    Natasha.
  • DafydDafyd Hell Host
    For those familiar with CBeebies, Grandmaster Glitch.
  • Bishops FingerBishops Finger Shipmate
    stetson wrote: »
    Natasha.

    Who she? Enquiring minds need to know...
    :wink:
  • stetsonstetson Shipmate
    edited June 2022
    Bishops Finger wrote: »
    stetson wrote: »
    Natasha.

    Who she? Enquiring minds need to know...
    :wink:

    Normally, it would be more convivial to tell you myself, but this is one where it's more fun to find out directly. Go to YouTube and type in "Boris and Natasha".

    EDIT: Look for the video called The Contest. It's got some pretty applicable dialogue.
  • Bishops FingerBishops Finger Shipmate
    stetson wrote: »
    Bishops Finger wrote: »
    stetson wrote: »
    Natasha.

    Who she? Enquiring minds need to know...
    :wink:

    Normally, it would be more convivial to tell you myself, but this is one where it's more fun to find out directly. Go to YouTube and type in "Boris and Natasha".

    Hehe.

    I did as advised, and ISWYM. I'll have a look at some clips later...
  • CaissaCaissa Shipmate
    Johnny Rotten
  • stetsonstetson Shipmate
    Bishops Finger wrote: »
    stetson wrote: »
    Bishops Finger wrote: »
    stetson wrote: »
    Natasha.

    Who she? Enquiring minds need to know...
    :wink:

    Normally, it would be more convivial to tell you myself, but this is one where it's more fun to find out directly. Go to YouTube and type in "Boris and Natasha".

    Hehe.

    I did as advised, and ISWYM. I'll have a look at some clips later...

    Yeah, like I say, look for the clip called The Contest. The dialogue is pretty fitting.
  • Bishops FingerBishops Finger Shipmate
    Black Will and Shakebag

    The hired - but not very efficient - murderers in the late Elizabethan play Arden of Faversham:
    https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Arden_of_Faversham

    (Personal note of not much interest - I owned, for a short time, a late 15thC house just up the road from Arden's House, where the notorious crime took place).
  • stetsonstetson Shipmate
    edited June 2022
    Caissa wrote: »
    Johnny Rotten

    Sid Vicious.

    Or for some Canadian content...

    Nazi Dog

    Obscure Canadian punk vocalist from the 80s.

  • HugalHugal Shipmate
    Nadine Doris. She would tell him exactly what he wants to here. Would be in the job a long time
  • Bishops FingerBishops Finger Shipmate
    A gruesome thought, but they would at least be company for each other in their prison cell...
  • PigletPiglet All Saints Host, Circus Host
    News Thump have had a similar idea.
  • Bishops FingerBishops Finger Shipmate
    :scream:

    Too realistic to be borne...
  • TheOrganistTheOrganist Shipmate
    Surely Boris thinks "ethics" is someone with a lisp speaking of a county in South-East England?

    An adviser he could work with on ethics? How about Donald Trump?
  • GalilitGalilit Shipmate
    Trillian (from Hitch Hikers Guide to the Galaxy)
  • Gill HGill H Shipmate
    TheOrganist wrote: »
    Surely Boris thinks "ethics" is someone with a lisp speaking of a county in South-East England?

    I nominate Gemma Collins then. Can’t stand to watch her in anything usually, but you have to admit, the clash of egos would be oddly compulsive viewing.
  • mousethiefmousethief Shipmate
    The problem with a man without a conscience hiring an ethics advisor is that it's your conscience that tells you to listen to your ethics advisor.
  • SighthoundSighthound Shipmate
    It reminds me that in the Middle Ages The Lord Chancellor was called 'The Keeper of the King's Conscience.'

    I suppose that's the equivalent role. But a medieval bishop (most Chancellors were clerics) could tell the King he was sinning and in danger of hell, and would at least know that the King would consider that thought.

    I see little evidence Johnson has a conscience. He is about enjoying his power, conning the mugs and filling his bank account. Guiding Johnson on ethics is a task that makes cleaning the Augean stables look like sweeping out a rabbit hutch.
  • SarasaSarasa All Saints Host
    edited June 2022
    I reckon Johnson should employ Dr Pangloss from
    Voltaire’s Candide. I think Machiavelli found find Johnson wanting and turn the he post down.

    [Codefix - Piglet, Circus host]
  • Gee DGee D Shipmate
    edited June 2022
    mousethief wrote: »
    The problem with a man without a conscience hiring an ethics advisor is that it's your conscience that tells you to listen to your ethics advisor.

    Or the person could realise political advantages in doing so, whether or not the advice is followed.
  • HugalHugal Shipmate
    The Joker. They would be good mates in Arkham
  • Anna_BaptistAnna_Baptist Shipmate
    Screwtape or if he's past it I'm sure Wormwood could step up.
  • la vie en rougela vie en rouge Purgatory Host, Circus Host
    I think the hyenas from The Lion King would do quite well. Until it all goes wrong and they eat Boris :naughty:
  • PigletPiglet All Saints Host, Circus Host
    Poor things - they'd get indigestion!
  • PriscillaPriscilla Shipmate
    I was going to suggest the Donald (Trump), but he’s already been nominated. BLACKADDER might be a possibility?
  • Bishops FingerBishops Finger Shipmate
    Continuing that thought, how about Baldrick, and a few Cunning Plans?
  • KarlLBKarlLB Shipmate
    Which makes me wonder about whether Captain Darling might have gained the necessary experience to take on the role, after dealing with General Melchet's smelly shirts, wooden bladder and walrus moustache.
  • Gee DGee D Shipmate
    la vie en rouge wrote: »
    I think the hyenas from The Lion King would do quite well.

    The RSPCA might have something to say about that.
  • Schroedingers CatSchroedingers Cat Shipmate
    Not that I would wish this job on her, but Miriam Margolyes. I doubt she would last long, but he might hear some home truths in the time. Also, she would only go when she wants to.

    She would regularly call him a c***.
  • Bishops FingerBishops Finger Shipmate
    Schroedingers Cat wrote: »
    Not that I would wish this job on her, but Miriam Margolyes. I doubt she would last long, but he might hear some home truths in the time. Also, she would only go when she wants to.

    She would regularly call him a c***.

    That chimes in with the Blackadder theme, as MM played a rabid evangelical (amongst other roles). She certainly gave Edmund a hard time...
  • PigletPiglet All Saints Host, Circus Host
    Two spikes would be an extravagance! :mrgreen:
  • DafydDafyd Hell Host
    How about Captain Renault? He is shocked, shocked, to learn that there have been parties in this establishment!
    It could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship.
  • Bishops FingerBishops Finger Shipmate
    Dafyd wrote: »
    How about Captain Renault? He is shocked, shocked, to learn that there have been parties in this establishment!
    It could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship.

    I had to look him up, but yes, a good choice:

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SjbPi00k_ME
  • DafydDafyd Hell Host
    I nearly said he was from Casablanca, but I thought the dialogue was famous enough to identify him.
  • stetsonstetson Shipmate
    Dafyd wrote: »
    I nearly said he was from Casablanca, but I thought the dialogue was famous enough to identify him.

    With the exception of the misquote "Play it again, Sam", I don't think I knew that all those famous quips that I had grown up hearing were from Casablanca, until I actually saw the movie around the age of 30.
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