Fortunately, Unfortunately

Rules are simple. One person starts a sentence saying “fortunately xxxx” and someone else responds “unfortunately xxxx” and so on. For example

Fortunately I got a new puppy
Unfortunately he ran away
Fortunately he came back with a £50 in his mouth.

You get the idea. I’ll start:

Fortunately, the vicar was sober this morning.
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Comments

  • ECraigRECraigR Shipmate
    Unfortunately so was the parish.
  • Fortunately there was plenty of wine in the chalice.
  • MaryLouiseMaryLouise Purgatory Host
    Unfortunately, it was cheap vinegary plonk and gave everyone a headache.
  • Unfortunately it had gone sour.
  • Fortunately the drummer in the music group was on holiday.
  • PigletPiglet All Saints Host, Circus Host
    Unfortunately, the banjo player wasn't.
  • Fortunately the sour communion wine had made him ill
  • Unfortunately, the sour communion wine had made him VERY ill.
  • stetsonstetson Shipmate
    Fortunately, his soon-to-be widow is pretty sexy.
  • Baptist TrainfanBaptist Trainfan Shipmate
    edited August 25
    Unfortunately, she has vowed to become a nun if he dies.
  • Fortunately she's best friends with the abbess.
  • EnochEnoch Shipmate
    Unfortunately, she hasn't realised that the convent is short of cash. So abbess hires out the prettier nuns to priests who are supposed to be celibate but find their commitment difficult.
  • Fortunately, they've all gone over to the Baptists and gotten themselves wives.
  • FirenzeFirenze Shipmate, Host Emeritus
    Unfortunately The Inquisition have turned up (unexpectedly). There are going to be a load of auto-de-fes.
  • EnochEnoch Shipmate
    Fortunately, because nobody expects the Spanish Inquisition there are no matches.
  • Unfortunately, it's a sunny day and someone is very nifty with a magnifying glass.
  • Fortunately they forgot to bring tinder so there's nothing to burn.
  • Unfortunately everyone is drenched after a freak gasoline fight at the BP station.
  • Fortunately, a busload of drag queens hosed everyone off with water whilst merrily singing, "Burn, Baby, Burn (Disco Inferno"
  • MaryLouiseMaryLouise Purgatory Host
    Unfortunately, the Inquisition in their sassy black gowns issued double excommunications for all involved in the Disco Inferno.
  • Fortunately the bus taking the Inquisition back to the Vatican crashed and burned, and the excommunications were destroyed before they could be registered.
  • Unfortunately, the inquisitors all had copies on their smart phones.
  • Fortunately, their batteries had all gone flat.
  • Unfortunately, so had the choir.
  • Fortunately the choir director was Bob Dylan and didn’t care.
  • jrwjrw Shipmate
    Unfortunately a deranged Bob Dylan fan (who didn't approve of Bob's new venture) started waving a knife and shouting abuse and threats at him while he was conducting the choir in the church.
  • Fortunately he dropped the knife.
  • Unfortunately he dropped it on Bob's toe
  • Fortunately when Bob cried out in pain, nobody noticed the difference from his normal singing voice
  • Spike ROFL
  • Unfortunately, mousethief was laughing too hard to post an "unfortunately" line.
  • NenyaNenya Shipmate
    Fortunately N0prophet_NØprofit stepped in and saved the day.
  • Unfortunately, NPNP was in full kaiju form and crushed the entire city block beneath massive reptilian feet.
  • Fortunately, Bob Dylan broke into his song "In The Beginning", about Adam naming all the animals "in the beginning, long time ago", and this music had the power to soothe the savage feet of NP.
  • Unfortunately the Creationists adopted this as their anthem and sang it non stop
  • Fortunately they kept singing until they dropped with exhaustion.
  • Unfortunately all of them were tone deaf,
  • SipechSipech Shipmate
    Fortunately, their microphones weren't working.
  • Lily PadLily Pad Shipmate
    Unfortunately, the leader kept calling for them to sing more loudly.
  • Fortunately they were in a soundproof room.
  • jrwjrw Shipmate
    Unfortunately they left the soundproof room and went on a singing parade around the town centre.
  • Fortuntely there was a microrapture and the townsfolk had all been removed by the deityofyourchoice to the next county.
  • Fortunately there had been a bomb scare and the entire population had been evacuated to a safe distance.
  • SipechSipech Shipmate
    [Following the Rodent Pilferer, as he got there first]
    Unfortunately, the Creationists, though dumb, were also of the same denomination, so were raptured along with the rest of the townsfolk.
  • Fortunately their voices were gloriously renewed as this happened.
  • ...Unfortunately only in a parallel universe.
  • Fortunately Brian Cox came along, fiddled around with lots of high-powered astrophysics calculations, explained all about "bent space", and proved that the two universes actually intersected at just the right point.
  • Lily PadLily Pad Shipmate
    Unfortunately, none of them knew who Brian Cox was and didn't believe a word he said. shouting, "Fake news!"
  • Fortunately a passerby recognized Brian Cox and bought him a pint.
  • Unfortunately the pint was from a mislabelled vat, 'twas actually window cleaning liquid with a lemon scent.
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