Alexander Boris de Pfeffel Johnson

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  • Surely zipwires are the future?
  • HugalHugal Shipmate
    Well they decided to push in with HS2 despite lots of people wanting investment in local rail. Certainly here in Wales we could do with some decent investment.
    So it is not beyond reasonable to assume the bridge will go ahead. After all people don’t need to get to work etc on trains do they.
  • HugalHugal Shipmate
    Well they decided to push in with HS2 despite lots of people wanting investment in local rail. Certainly here in Wales we could do with some decent investment.
    So it is not beyond reasonable to assume the bridge will go ahead. After all people don’t need to get to work etc on trains do they.
  • Bishops FingerBishops Finger Shipmate
    edited February 2020
    I don't know, so I Googled...

    Here's one in Wales:
    https://zipworld.co.uk/adventure/velocity

    I somehow doubt that these will suffice for traffic between various parts of the Greater English Empire, but I devoutly hope that the first passenger(?) on that between Scotland and Ireland will be Our Glorious Leader Himself.

    O what a shame it would be, if the wire got tangled around the Sacred Neck, or broke, pitching the Glorious Leader into the English Sea! (You know - the one that used to be called the Irish Sea, until the Empire claimed it back).
  • BroJames wrote: »
    Like only 49m deep compared to 200-300m deep, and only 4-28km wide compared to the Irish Sea’s c70km at Stranraer-Larne.

    Maybe they should go Prestwick-Arran-Kintyre-Cushenden? Shorter links and more places connected. Gets you closer to the motorway network too. I suspect folk in Kintyre would value a route out that doesn't involve the Rest and be Fucking Thankful.
    Or, from west of Greenock to Dunoon, across the northern end of Bute to Tarbet before going down the Kintyre peninsula. You could even reasonably take things in stages - a bridge to Dunoon with either an extension of the line to Gourock or a branch off the line to Wemyss Bay will big a big boost to that side of the Clyde, and provide an alternative to the Rest and Be Thankful You've Not Been Buried in a Landslide.
  • RooKRooK Admin Emeritus
    Really, the problems started with the Roman occupation. It just inappropriately implied that Provincia Britannia was a place anybody actually wanted to be. Once climate change finishes re-directing the gulf stream to transform the Isles O Misery back into the frozen wastes already embodied by the souls their electorate, surely no one will bother caring any more.
  • BroJamesBroJames Purgatory Host, 8th Day Host
    BroJames wrote: »
    Like only 49m deep compared to 200-300m deep, and only 4-28km wide compared to the Irish Sea’s c70km at Stranraer-Larne.

    Maybe they should go Prestwick-Arran-Kintyre-Cushenden? Shorter links and more places connected. Gets you closer to the motorway network too. I suspect folk in Kintyre would value a route out that doesn't involve the Rest and be Fucking Thankful.

    True. Only a c.25km bridge. National Geographic appears to have had a serious look at the idea.
  • Well he's lost his Chancellor.

    https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-politics-51491662

    Geoffrey Cox' resignation or sacking appear to be a matter of definition as well.
  • And, he's put a climate change denier in charge of organising the COP meeting later this year. Oh, joy.
  • Albeit not, perhaps, unforeseen...
    :anguished:
  • KarlLB wrote: »
    Well he's lost his Chancellor.

    https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-politics-51491662

    Geoffrey Cox' resignation or sacking appear to be a matter of definition as well.

    Rumour has it that this is exacerbated by the ongoing row between Dominic Cummings (unelected super-SPAD) and Carrie Symonds (Boris's current squeeze, whom Cummings thinks has way too much influence over Boris).
  • DafydDafyd Shipmate
    And, he's put a climate change denier in charge of organising the COP meeting later this year.
    Sharma? (Of whom I hadn't previously heard.) The Guardian doesn't say so. I wouldn't put it past Johnson though.

  • Can anyone give me a good price on a handcart please?

    He's also really p***ed off the political leaders in Northern Ireland by changing the NI secretary from Julian Smith to Brandon Lewis. SF (I can't spell their name) were working with him as he was trying to get some of the Troubles legacy issues resolved, particularly around the fact that both sides did nasty things. He got kicked out because some people in government wanted the soldiers of the time to get more of a free pass, and because he actually was prepared to say that Brexit would be bad for Northern Ireland, which of course is Not On Message at all.

    Having actually managed to get devolution restored by engaging properly with both sides, (probably helped by the threat of new elections) he had a lot of political capital his successor won't: he's going to be viewed as a Boris yes man.
  • I did think earlier that someone ought to send all the new cabinet Boris masks as they're all going to toe the Boris line.
  • I suspect that Mr Johnson is aiming to run the UK as a large mayorality - which may work but which means running everything from the centre and expecting others to carry out his decisions. It could work, but is guaranteed to piss off most of his fellow MPs.
  • EnochEnoch Shipmate
    If it's correct that Javid resigned because he refused to be run by Cummings, then we have to assume that this new man Sunak is happy to dance totally Cummings's tune. So he is not his own man. Presumably that's the price he is happy to pay for being suddenly raised from nowhere.

    As for Sharma and COP 26, the only person associated with de Pfeffel who appears ever to have even heard of the environment or expressed any interest in it is his floozie. She used to work for an organisation called Oceana which is against plastic in the seas, but I don't know whether she still does. On this issue she doesn't seem to be having much influence on de Pfeffel or those round him.
  • Doc Tor wrote: »
    The obvious solution is a rail so high speed that you can launch the carriages up a ramp at Stranraer and have them land at Larne. And vice versa, of course.

    Would that make it a rail gun?

    I'll get me coat.
  • PigletPiglet All Saints Host, Circus Host
    Pendragon wrote: »
    I did think earlier that someone ought to send all the new cabinet Boris masks as they're all going to toe the Boris line.
    Make that Dominic Cummings masks - the new cabinet appears to be all his yes-men.
  • Bishops FingerBishops Finger Shipmate
    edited February 2020
    Just a mild warning - the accompanying image is HORRIFYING, albeit probably realistic. It might be NSFW, depending on the political proclivities of your colleagues...

    Be afraid. Be VERY afraid. Greater England is now being run by a Hydra...
    :scream:
  • PigletPiglet All Saints Host, Circus Host
    Thanks @Hugal - I was thinking of that picture (or one in a similar vein featuring a group photograph of the Cabinet with Cummings' head superimposed on all the bodies except Johnson's), which I'd seen on Facebook, but couldn't find it.
  • This would have been an easy thing to refute (they could even have said 'We agree with Mr Schapps').
  • ArethosemyfeetArethosemyfeet Shipmate
    edited February 2020
    This would have been an easy thing to refute (they could even have said 'We agree with Mr Schapps').

    It's vice signalling. They're letting the edgelords, trolls, MRAs, incels and assorted other compulsive masturbators and faux intellectuals that the government is on their side. Because they already know they can win without anyone who expects compassion or human decency from the government.
  • Last night's Curry & Quiz night included the question "Name ten members of the new Cabinet". Our team got five,the winners got six, and because you only got points for those listed before a wrong answer, the team that listed Jeremy Hunt in the#1 spot got none!

    The majority of teams included Dominic Cummings.
  • Bishops FingerBishops Finger Shipmate
    edited February 2020
    Did anyone put down Boris Johnson (x 1) and Dominic Cummings (x 9)?
  • Did anyone put down Boris Johnson (x 1) and Dominic Cummings (x 9)?

    Don't know. Someone did include Carrie Symonds, possibly to balance the evil Cummings.
  • la vie en rougela vie en rouge Circus Host, 8th Day Host
    Reasons to be ashamed of being British, n° 458

    Who the hell does Boris think is going to pick potatoes or work in care homes for the minimum wage when all the people from foreign go away?
  • And who does he think will pay for the care workers that can be recruited - councils who have been bled dry this last ten years? :rage:
  • This would have been an easy thing to refute (they could even have said 'We agree with Mr Schapps').

    It's vice signalling. They're letting the edgelords, trolls, MRAs, incels and assorted other compulsive masturbators and faux intellectuals that the government is on their side. Because they already know they can win without anyone who expects compassion or human decency from the government.

    Yes of course it is, and this was predictable by all those who voted for him.
    Boogie wrote: »
    And who does he think will pay for the care workers

    Care work is one of the most skilled unskilled professions out there.
  • I agree @chrisstiles.

    Care work takes amazing skill, emotional intelligence and resilience.
  • It also takes skill to quickly and efficiently harvest soft fruit. And, serving customers in a hotel or restaurant isn't without it's skill set either.

    I think in Tory-speak "unskilled" simply means "a job I've never done, but imagine it doesn't require any of the skills I have".
  • Reasons to be ashamed of being British, n° 458

    Who the hell does Boris think is going to pick potatoes or work in care homes for the minimum wage when all the people from foreign go away?

    In Brexitland, there are thousands of unemployed Brits who only currently don't pick the potatoes because they're undercut by foreign labour.

    That it involves getting to a field thirty miles outside Thetford at 5am, 10 miles from the nearest bus route, four hours before the first actual bus, for some reason doesn't figure. For various reasons involving the way foreign labour is recruited, housed and ferried about, enabling other people to do this is going to cost, because the unemployed Brits are not living six to a house, all working for the same farm and being ferried there by the same team which recruited them in the first place.

    Whatever we think about the way it often currently works, this transition is not going to be easy or cheap.

  • This would have been an easy thing to refute (they could even have said 'We agree with Mr Schapps').

    It's vice signalling. They're letting the edgelords, trolls, MRAs, incels and assorted other compulsive masturbators and faux intellectuals that the government is on their side. Because they already know they can win without anyone who expects compassion or human decency from the government.

    I also presume that Laura K and Peston are locked up somewhere - because otherwise they'd be on social media tweeting about how the government had yet to answer whether it supported eugenics or not.
  • KarlLB wrote: »
    Reasons to be ashamed of being British, n° 458

    Who the hell does Boris think is going to pick potatoes or work in care homes for the minimum wage when all the people from foreign go away?

    In Brexitland, there are thousands of unemployed Brits who only currently don't pick the potatoes because they're undercut by foreign labour.

    That it involves getting to a field thirty miles outside Thetford at 5am, 10 miles from the nearest bus route, four hours before the first actual bus, for some reason doesn't figure. For various reasons involving the way foreign labour is recruited, housed and ferried about, enabling other people to do this is going to cost, because the unemployed Brits are not living six to a house, all working for the same farm and being ferried there by the same team which recruited them in the first place.

    Whatever we think about the way it often currently works, this transition is not going to be easy or cheap.

    Not far off people trafficking is it?
  • Karl is spot on. I'm often in Norfolk, and see the gangs of E. European workers arrive at dawn, and then work all day in the fields. They are brought in by van, as there are no bus routes nearby. So the UK is going to get young Brits to do the same? That is hilarious.
  • I think it is, in some cases.

    But there's the answer! Let the people-traffickers, duly tried and sentenced, of course, be set to work in the fields, along with other convicted malefactors!

    Yes! LABOUR CAMPS!

    I shall write to The Mad Mophead immediately, to explain this brilliant scheme for the advancement and embigliation of Greater England!

    Then, I'll go and have a lie-down...
  • BroJamesBroJames Purgatory Host, 8th Day Host
    “No, no,” said Boris, launching his new policy, “all the credit for this belongs to Mr. Bishops Finger.”
  • HugalHugal Shipmate
    But I bet Boris keeps the extra money. To give to young ladies. Who work at night and have their business based around bedrooms.
  • I expect that it won't do anything to stop labour exploitation though. Once farmers with tight margins and large volume harvests have been reminded how some people think that kind of menial work is beneath them, and how English people generally will expect to be paid properly, then the more unscrupulous may start trafficking people in more, or exploiting vulnerable people in slavery conditions.
  • Hugal wrote: »
    But I bet Boris keeps the extra money. To give to young ladies. Who work at night and have their business based around bedrooms.

    Hey! I want that extra money, because I, too, know young ladies who work at night...

    I'll get me coat.
    Pendragon wrote: »
    I expect that it won't do anything to stop labour exploitation though. Once farmers with tight margins and large volume harvests have been reminded how some people think that kind of menial work is beneath them, and how English people generally will expect to be paid properly, then the more unscrupulous may start trafficking people in more, or exploiting vulnerable people in slavery conditions.

    That's probably what will, indeed, happen, but they'll be English slaves, not foreign.
    :rage:

  • It looks like slavery. They are generously provided with a toilet in the fields, they live in houses packed with people, I suppose they can get pissed at night.
  • sionisais wrote: »
    KarlLB wrote: »
    Reasons to be ashamed of being British, n° 458

    Who the hell does Boris think is going to pick potatoes or work in care homes for the minimum wage when all the people from foreign go away?

    In Brexitland, there are thousands of unemployed Brits who only currently don't pick the potatoes because they're undercut by foreign labour.

    That it involves getting to a field thirty miles outside Thetford at 5am, 10 miles from the nearest bus route, four hours before the first actual bus, for some reason doesn't figure. For various reasons involving the way foreign labour is recruited, housed and ferried about, enabling other people to do this is going to cost, because the unemployed Brits are not living six to a house, all working for the same farm and being ferried there by the same team which recruited them in the first place.

    Whatever we think about the way it often currently works, this transition is not going to be easy or cheap.

    Not far off people trafficking is it?

    It can be, but not always. In many cases the pay isn't bad for manual labour and folk doing the work can put a lot of money to one side but the problem is that it's seasonal so once you balance out the cost of needing somewhere to live during winter plus working long hours doing hard physical work in all weathers for months the only people for whom it makes sense are those who can take that money saved elsewhere and live comfortably on it through the winter, and potentially still save money for a house or starting a business. A lot of this work used to be done by travellers, who brought their families with them which got round the impossibility of family life with this work.

    For a long time I thought that it was simply a case of get the wages high enough and people will do the work, and that the people doing it now are exploited, but I think it's a bit more complex than that. If you listen to Farming Today on Radio 4 you'll hear people who happily come back year after year to the same farm from Latvia or Romania because it works for them.
  • I can also see problems for people on benefits working long hours for some of the time, and going over the cut off for things like universal credit, and then having the problem of waiting for them to be restarted when the picking season ends. If they're not doing full time work they will generally still be expected to look for something that is full time. Someone who has spent the summer e.g. strawberry picking might be finished on that in time to get pre-Christmas warehouse work to keep them going, but as pointed out above, it won't be in the same place.
  • All of what is being said is true, but it seems that The Mad Mophead (praise be to Him!), and his cohort of Cummingses, are completely oblivious to what is apparent to everyone else.

    And, of course, when the Greater England economy collapses, and there are no potatoes or fruit in the shops, nor carers in whatever workhouses are left, it'll all be the fault of the perfidious EU.
  • Pendragon wrote: »
    I can also see problems for people on benefits working long hours for some of the time, and going over the cut off for things like universal credit, and then having the problem of waiting for them to be restarted when the picking season ends. If they're not doing full time work they will generally still be expected to look for something that is full time. Someone who has spent the summer e.g. strawberry picking might be finished on that in time to get pre-Christmas warehouse work to keep them going, but as pointed out above, it won't be in the same place.

    The irony, of course, is that National Insurance was first introduced about 110 years ago to help people in sporadic and seasonal jobs get through the fallow periods. It seems that the Asquith government understood economic and social reality better than the current one.
  • Most governments have understood economic and social reality better than the current one!
  • Most governments have understood economic and social reality better than the current one!

    Most governments have at least wanted to understand economics and social reality. This one doesn't, and actively persecutes the poor and disadvantaged. Then again, maybe they do, and it's a part of a plan to, as The Dead Kennedy's sang, "Kill the Poor".

    WTF, it looks like a vote winner.
  • The Nazis had some interesting vote-winning policies, e.g. self-sufficiency, strong leadership, a strong Germany, social Darwinism. It might catch on.
  • Yes, except that the poor still have the vote. Unless they all die before the next General Election, anyway.

    Mind you, a good number of the poor voted for their own increased poverty, so WTF, indeed.
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