Yes, August is a Bad Time for me, on account of a number of Horrible Things happening to me (or to those I loved and valued) during that month (in various different years, that is).
BTW, my advocacy of GIN was tongue-in-cheek, and probably rather silly.
A wonderful afternoon off work and walking to the next city via the river cheered me up no end. But I think Huia's decadent muffin must be on my go-to list.
We have passed the shortest day and today is the second consecutive sunny day. If the forecasters are right, the next two don't look too bad either. I still have 4 layers of clothing on though.
I'm stuck in the study - DH is having a Skype interview for a job in China. Can't imagine going too with nothing to do, and who wants a seriously depressed accountant? Have been off work for weeks with no energy even to come here. And now this? Black Beast would be laughing if it had a voice.
Trying to get my head round some stuff which is hard, for me. Stuff that I feel wouldn't be big things to other people so I feel wimpy as well as Black Beastish.
Exactly, well put Piglet. I find the balance is easily upset. I have had a case of the sads for a couple of weeks now. Settlement on new place is now less than a week away. I have had several promising offers on here but no finality. Nothing unusual, really. Been moping all week even though I know it will sell,even if it is later, for a good price.
Today I am suddenly upbeat. All it took was a beautiful,chilly but very sunny day and half a dozen groups through at inspection. All sounding promising.
I was downstairs during in spection time for my coffee at McDs. The large parking area on that side of the street is always busy. McDs and service station are both open 24 hours and there is alwaays traffic. Very few dingles or anything more serious. Possibly more good luck than good management.
Nearly a prang this morning. Where were the cops when needed? A woman in large 4WD, eating from a McD’s bag and using phone simultaneously. All while driving.
Nenya, you're not alone; I'm struggling too - what feels like never ending limitations on what I can do, dealing with being an object of wonder and derision whenever I go outside in daylight and permanent, albeit reducing, pain isn't doing my mental health any good at all.
Much love, CK. I’m sort of hoping for appalling weather, just in your locality, to help with the sun-related problems at least.
I had an awful day at work yesterday. It’s getting to the point where I think I might even ask the boss for time off. She is brilliant, my boss, and I expect would agree. But I feel awful that it’s come to this. I am very, very good at fronting it out & so no one knows there’s any hint of a problem.
Awful weather next Sunday so I could go to Folk by the Oak would be wonderful, from my point of view, but I realise wouldn't suit anyone else, so feels incredibly selfish.
Thank you. I feel really pathetic. And I know I’m not, I know the stern loving looks I’d give to someone else who said that. Heh. Double standards eh?
Re: folk by the oak, we went a couple of years ago and loved it, but I don’t remember it being good for shelter. Unless you manage to hang out at the very back of the Acorn stage all day. That was certainly undercover when we went. (We saw the Young Uns. Goodness me they were great.)
I was there that year too, first time I saw the Young 'Uns - Bellowhead were there too, and @LeRoc The Young 'Uns are on the main stage this year. (Mind you I've been there every year for the last few years)
I wish some clinic or other here in Washington state was doing clinical trials using ketamine infusions for major depression. I took part in two ketamine trials when my wife and I lived in Georgia and those helped me so very much. Alas, those were about six years ago and the ketamine in my system is long gone.
At present I am dealing with my long time therapist retiring, my wife exhibiting manic depressive symptoms and/or psychosis, horrible sleep problems, a wretched yeast infection due to my Type 2 diabetes being out of whack...I'm a wreck. I'm taking one antidepressant more for it's help in keeping my Fibromyalsia in check than for depression, and then another antidepressant that is just awful--it works great on the depression but the side effects are hellish. I spend many a waking hour trying not to throw up and being so nauseated that I just don't want any food.
But, other than all that, life is just dandy. I sold one of my paintings over the weekend...
That is a amazing pile of horrible things but Yay for selling the painting.
I don't know if this would be of any help to you, but I sometimes grate root ginger into a mug, pour boing water over it and drink it as an antidote to nausea
I'm feeling a bit trapped. I'm going to escape to the (snow-covered) mountains on Sunday, and the dry kangaroo-populated plains with walking trails Saturday, to try and get out of myself. I can sense the manic part of my disorder is trying to take charge with me trying to do everything at once and trying to give in to the urge to buy something (of all the behaviours of bipolar, I find the spending one the strangest). I suppose noticing it is a good sign, rather than 11 years ago when I decided one day I needed a new car and went out and got one there and then [!]
I hope all are travelling well. And, if not, I hope you know we're here for you.
Seconded. Used to have the purchasing thing until I trained myself only to do it online, and never go beyond putting things in the basket. It was amazing to look back on.#
...I suppose noticing it is a good sign, rather than 11 years ago when I decided one day I needed a new car and went out and got one there and then [!]
A good friend of mine is bipolar. He once bought a horse and cart off a seaside operator on a day trip to Blackpool. I forget what happened when he brought it back to the bed and breakfast. He has some great stories; great from the point of 30 years perspective and (thank God) a stable place to laugh at them from.
... He once bought a horse and cart off a seaside operator on a day trip to Blackpool ... He has some great stories ... and (thank God) a stable place to laugh at them from.
Well the downhill skiing seemed to do the trick. Despite the fact Monday work arrives in less than 11 hours I feel calmer and less busy in the mind than I have for weeks.
The walk helped immensely too. And is far cheaper!
BTW, and apropos of nothing in particular, save to point out that not everything Black (or Russian, for that matter) is depressing, I came across this YouTube clip of a performance of the Overture to The Barber Of Seville, by Signor Rossini, conducted by Yuri Temikarnov: https://youtube.com/watch?v=qlrqdMXM0u0
I covet his shirt. Where could I obtain something similar? It would Cheer Me Up.
It looks like just a plain black dress shirt, of the sort you might get somewhere like Debenham's. D. wears such things a lot - his standard "recital gear" is black shirt and black jeans (although most of his current batch probably came from somewhere on this side of the Pond like Sears or W*l-M*rt).
O - it looked rather more designedly un-ironed/crumpled to me!
I'm afraid I take after my family (brother/sister/cousins). All of us dress in varying degrees of scruff/un-ironed/crumpled, and do NOT give a fig for any who might criticise...
It being winter here I am in lazy mode and often just iron the collars of my shirts* -- as I wear a jumper no-one knows. Except you lot now.
How are all travelling?
I have come down off my high, and no longer feel the need to do everything as soon as it pops in my head. A nice feeling. Nicer than rushing to the shops in a panic as I thought of mandarins and MUST GET THEM NOW! Then 1 hour later think of milk and rush out and GET IT NOW! :help:
* though this week I have followed BF and not ironed a blasted thing - oh, the iniquity!!!
It seems to me (but I'm no expert) that if ironing - the result if not the actual act - gives you a feeling of well-being, then do it, but never feel bad because you don't.
I don't have a Black Beastie, but occasionally doing something mundane (but ultimately rewarding) like ironing makes me feel sort of virtuous, but in a good way.
That reminds me - I have our cassocks and surplices home to launder - better go and set that going ...
Trying to get my head round some stuff which is hard, for me. Stuff that I feel wouldn't be big things to other people so I feel wimpy as well as Black Beastish.
Trying to get my head round some stuff which is hard, for me. Stuff that I feel wouldn't be big things to other people so I feel wimpy as well as Black Beastish.
Same.
Never compare. If it is big to you, it is big. And that's that. I know that's easy to write, and hard to think, because I do the same, but any struggle is a struggle. Be kind to yourself.
[/unsought for and possibly unwanted (if so, sorry) advice]
Do you rapid-cycle sometimes Climacus? I sort of do, I think, and always expect a low after a high.
Yes. And talking to the psychologist yesterday I told her I was expecting a slump, but was trying to be proactive in heading it off by activity and self-care. But I always need to watch out for it, because I can't realise a low until I'm already deep in it.
Comments
Silliness is next to Godliness.
That reminds me of my favourite half invented saying, Cleanliness may be next to Godliness, but tidiness is next to impossible
I think of it as my personal motto.
A wonderful afternoon off work and walking to the next city via the river cheered me up no end. But I think Huia's decadent muffin must be on my go-to list.
Thoughts for all those undergoing tough times.
IJ
<votive> for all, and I hope that everyone's Black Beast/Slug/Dog (delete as appropriate) is suitably quiescent due to hot or cold weather!
IJ
Thanks for asking, BF. Hope others are ok.
<votive>
Today I am suddenly upbeat. All it took was a beautiful,chilly but very sunny day and half a dozen groups through at inspection. All sounding promising.
I was downstairs during in spection time for my coffee at McDs. The large parking area on that side of the street is always busy. McDs and service station are both open 24 hours and there is alwaays traffic. Very few dingles or anything more serious. Possibly more good luck than good management.
Nearly a prang this morning. Where were the cops when needed? A woman in large 4WD, eating from a McD’s bag and using phone simultaneously. All while driving.
I had an awful day at work yesterday. It’s getting to the point where I think I might even ask the boss for time off. She is brilliant, my boss, and I expect would agree. But I feel awful that it’s come to this. I am very, very good at fronting it out & so no one knows there’s any hint of a problem.
Much love to you and Nenya too, @Jemima the 9th
Re: folk by the oak, we went a couple of years ago and loved it, but I don’t remember it being good for shelter. Unless you manage to hang out at the very back of the Acorn stage all day. That was certainly undercover when we went. (We saw the Young Uns. Goodness me they were great.)
IJ
At present I am dealing with my long time therapist retiring, my wife exhibiting manic depressive symptoms and/or psychosis, horrible sleep problems, a wretched yeast infection due to my Type 2 diabetes being out of whack...I'm a wreck. I'm taking one antidepressant more for it's help in keeping my Fibromyalsia in check than for depression, and then another antidepressant that is just awful--it works great on the depression but the side effects are hellish. I spend many a waking hour trying not to throw up and being so nauseated that I just don't want any food.
But, other than all that, life is just dandy. I sold one of my paintings over the weekend...
I don't know if this would be of any help to you, but I sometimes grate root ginger into a mug, pour boing water over it and drink it as an antidote to nausea
So sorry to read. Loving thoughts from Down Under.
As Huia wrote, congratulations on the painting sale. Wonderful news.
(*a lovely Shakespearian word - I've been longing to use it all week!)
yourdictionary.com/aroint
IJ
I hope all are travelling well. And, if not, I hope you know we're here for you.
If so, that shows marvellous restraint - and what a Good Idea for therapeutic porpoises.
As long as you don't press that runcible check-out button, of course..
IJ
I'll see myself out ...
And wondrous story Mark. And, yes, good to reach that point where you can look back and laugh.
I've had the car for almost 11 years and it is still going strong, so I do allow myself the occasional smile.
Fredegund: you too? I go back to sites weeks or months later to find items on there I can't believe I once wanted. He he.
The walk helped immensely too. And is far cheaper!
ISWYM, so I'll get me ski-boots, and see meself out....
IJ
https://youtube.com/watch?v=qlrqdMXM0u0
I covet his shirt. Where could I obtain something similar? It would Cheer Me Up.
IJ
I'm afraid I take after my family (brother/sister/cousins). All of us dress in varying degrees of scruff/un-ironed/crumpled, and do NOT give a fig for any who might criticise...
...but this is a bit of a /tangent/. Apollo Gees.
IJ
If you want it to look crumpled, just get a linen one.
[/discontinuing tangent]
OK. I presume I will need a Wash Ing imp, but not his cousin Iron Ing!
IJ
How are all travelling?
I have come down off my high, and no longer feel the need to do everything as soon as it pops in my head. A nice feeling. Nicer than rushing to the shops in a panic as I thought of mandarins and MUST GET THEM NOW! Then 1 hour later think of milk and rush out and GET IT NOW! :help:
* though this week I have followed BF and not ironed a blasted thing - oh, the iniquity!!!
I don't have a Black Beastie, but occasionally doing something mundane (but ultimately rewarding) like ironing makes me feel sort of virtuous, but in a good way.
That reminds me - I have our cassocks and surplices home to launder - better go and set that going ...
Same.
[/unsought for and possibly unwanted (if so, sorry) advice]
Yes. And talking to the psychologist yesterday I told her I was expecting a slump, but was trying to be proactive in heading it off by activity and self-care. But I always need to watch out for it, because I can't realise a low until I'm already deep in it.
IJ