Ship of Fools: St Thomas the Apostle, Hollywood, California, USA
The Mystery Worshipper
Shipmate
Ship of Fools: St Thomas the Apostle, Hollywood, California, USA
Cool temperature, cool welcome, at this solemn high mass with all the trimmings
Read the full Mystery Worshipper report here
Comments
I applaud (see what I did there?) efforts to make visitors and newcomers feel welcome. And I know from experience how hard it is to find a balance of what’s welcoming and what’s off-putting. We do mugs and cards too; the cards are handmade by artists in the congregation.
But I’m another one who recoils at being asked to stand, raise a hand, or otherwise identify myself publicly as a visitor during worship. I’d rather slide under the pew. It’s hard, I know, to figure out what to do knowing that people will react differently.
What we do is is invite visitors to stop at a welcome table in the narthex (conveniently located near the main exit) after the service. That is announced when visitors are welcomed. We also do that thing—maybe not as common in Episcopal churches as it is among us Presbyterians—of passing a register down the pew that everyone, member and visitor alike, signs. That gives others in the pew notice of who is a visitor (and a name), but in a low-key way. There’re places to check if one would like to speak to a minister or would like more info, and there’s also space for contact info. And if someone passes the register along without signing it, that’s okay.
I only mention the registers because I find them less uncomfortable than being asked to publicly identify myself by standing or raising a hand, etc. If you pass on signing it, no one notices except others in the pew (if they're paying attention). And if the others in pew are genuinely hospitable, you have just given them information that can be helpful in welcoming you in a way you're comfortable with.
And granted, part of it may be that I'm more accustomed to it. I've never seen visitors asked to stand or raise hands in a Presbyterian church. (And to be honest, this MW report is the first I've ever heard of it in an Episcopal church.) Registers to pass down the pews, on the other hand, aren't ubiquitous in Presby churches, but they are common. I'd say there's a 50-50 chance of encountering them unless one is in a small church where no one needs to be told who anyone else is or who's visiting. (We use them in our church, but since I'm in the choir, I get to avoid them except in our summer months off.) I've encountered them among the Methodists and Lutherans, too. Again, I don't recall ever seeing them in an Episcopal church.
I guess by experience I've learned that it's generally safe to write my name and check the "visitor" box, but not give an address or phone number.
I, for my part, would resolutely refuse to sign any such register, visitors' card, or whatever. If peeps want to speak to me after the service, let them do so - my aspect is not especially Frightening...
I like the different-colour mug routine as after thirty years of wearing name-tags at events, I have developed an allergy to them, and the red mug would perhaps lower the anxiousness some of us feel at being singled out.
Above I mentioned one exception--it was in Jamaica, where the four white congregants (myself included) stood out in the huge parish church in Brownstown IIRC. As none of us stood as instructed and were doing our best to look invisible, the rector then told the congregation to welcome their Canadian guests. Much genial laughter at our expense, and after the service, a full half-hour of being told by various people where their sister etc lived in Manitoba etc. Two of the four cadged a ride back to Saint Anne's with me, while the other was taken away by new acquaintances for lunch.
I suspect that the best way to deal with Afro-Caribbean welcomes (and the genial laughter!) is simply to 'go with the flow'.....
BTW, that is NOT a racist remark, but based on personal empirical evidence!
It was great fun, and I recommend that travellers in warm countries attend services, as I have almost always received the warm and spontaneous welcome about which Canadian (and likely US and UK) churches can only hold workshops and dream of delivering. And which of our parishes pours out Blue Mountain coffee and serves black guinness cake for the fortification of the faithful?
That quibble aside, the service sounded lovely.
It seems like a very 'American' thing to do.
I'm also taken aback by the Presbyterian register practice. What the ...?!
How that can be seen as in any way unobtrusive is beyond me. I've seen plenty of churches in the UK where there have cards around for people to leave contact details if they wish but I've never seen a register thrust beneath someone's nose.
I had to chuckle. As well as a register I'd imagine some Presbyterians including a tick-box survey to assess how 'sound' or TULIP the recipients were ...
There was no pressure, but it was interesting, and instructive, to learn how cosmopolitan a congregation this was (and, hopefully, still is).
The Church of my Yoof, even further back, was what would now be termed 'open-evangelical'. The then Vicar proposed the idea of actually asking (i.e. by personal approach) any newcomer or visitor to fill in a card with their details, but was roundly defeated by the PCC.
As Gamma Gamaliel records, the contact cards were, however, provided in the pews for any who might wish to use them.
Advice from one Who Knows Whereof He Speaks - 'go with the flow', and ENJOY the wonderful post-Mass food!
But...you still don't have to give anyone your personal details, if you're just visiting, or whatever. If you should be so attracted/entranced/mesmerised/moved by the Spirit as to become a member of that congregation, fair enough.
But, if that does happen, and you perhaps fall sick, be prepared for visitors bearing FOOD...