Heaven: Unusual religious questions

edited July 2020 in Limbo
Because I like to interact with children, some things that came up recently:

Did Jesus ever get a haircut? Would his hair decompose like anyone else's? Could he have gone bald? Cut himself shaving?

Would Jesus have bad breath? a toothache? Did he fart? Did Jesus go through a teething phase? Did he fight over toys with other children when he was a toddler? Did he win?

These are all about being human as far as I would understand, so my answers are basically yes. Then we got to: why wouldn't he do a miracle haircut, miraculous dentistry etc. "To share our human nature" seemed like the right response, except you can't really share our human nature if you know that you could do a miracle on yourself. Would Jesus win a burping contest?

We ate the cookies then, and the conversation devolved to divine indigestion, which I suspect must be ongoing given how humanity collectively and individually behaves. I suspect there are many other such questions. I have a week to either answer these questions or to see if we can discuss something else. I suspect "could Jesus get sick and almost die with the Corona virus?" is coming next. God have mercy.

Comments

  • An old one, why didn't Jesus tell us to wash our hands? (Topical). This goes to omniscience, of course, and as above, being human seems a solution.
  • HelenEvaHelenEva Shipmate
    I'm thinking Jesus was fully God and fully human. Therefore he did everything that a fully human person does including getting haircuts and farting. I'm not sure how available soap would have been in first century Palestine though. Happily Jesus was very big on feet washing so probably that could be extrapolated to hand washing...?

    And no, Jesus would not have died of coronavirus - he was never older than mid thirties and had no underlying conditions that we know of, therefore he was in a very low risk group. :wink:
  • He wouldn't have cut himself shaving, as it's forbidden by Leviticus 19:27
  • I should not do internet searches sometimes: https://www.medievalists.net/2013/12/the-holy-foreskin/
  • Yes, well quite 😳

    More palatably, several place claim to have Our Lord's baby teeth (and those of the BVM seem quite well scattered about the place too).
  • I remember "is God in the cancer cells?", so by extension, is God in the coronavirus? I knew a Sufi who said that since God is in everything, vegetarianism is absurd.
  • I remember "is God in the cancer cells?", so by extension, is God in the coronavirus? I knew a Sufi who said that since God is in everything, vegetarianism is absurd.

    I am wondering how that works with cannibalism.
  • I remember "is God in the cancer cells?", so by extension, is God in the coronavirus? I knew a Sufi who said that since God is in everything, vegetarianism is absurd.

    I am wondering how that works with cannibalism.



    Self-catering.
  • DafydDafyd Shipmate
    edited March 2020
    Did he fight over toys with other children when he was a toddler? Did he win?
    The Infancy Gospel of St Thomas, the one that contains the story of Jesus as a child making clay sparrows and making them come alive, has it that another child knocked Jesus down and Jesus smite him dead. The dead child's parents go and complain to Mary, and Mary says, essentially, Now Jesus, what do we know about not smiting other children dead? so Jesus brings the dead child back to life.
    The Infancy Gospel is not regarded as canonical but was apparently quite popular in the Middle Ages.

  • That's because it's wishful thinking on the part of people dealing with brats.
  • Lamb ChoppedLamb Chopped Shipmate
    edited March 2020
    My kid asked all the same questions and I told him yes, Jesus chose to participate in the human experience as a human being, and so no doubt he farted, got sick, cut himself, and so on. Because of course he could suffer all those things (even as perfect man) if he (what shall we call it? gave permission?).

    In the same way, I might spend a day at my child's school as a student and suffer through a pop quiz and cafeteria food as long as the Powers-that-Be at the school understood they were to treat me exactly as a student.

    By the by, I don't farting is a sign of fallenness. I think it's a design feature. Which says something about the Designer.
  • Indeed, a fair bit of Christianity is unfortunately without humour. I happen to like "brats". I'm also reminded of what about those without teeth, when there's crying and gnashing of teeth. Perhaps the answer is "come closer so I can bite you".

    (Perhaps there needs to a comedy sketch, perhaps of everyone farting at the last supper before everything gets all serious. Perhaps it has been done.)
  • Just in case of misunderstanding: brats != children, brats = obnoxious children who are making your life a misery.
  • RicardusRicardus Shipmate
    If you live in Catalonia, you get a visual reminder every Christmas of the human bodily functions that Jesus chose to assume ...

    Caganer.
  • Schroedingers CatSchroedingers Cat Shipmate, Waving not Drowning Host
    Yes, the fully human nature of Jesus means that he was totally participating in the humanity of his time. There are apocraphal stories of Jesus performing miracles as a child, but these are considered untrue, for precisely these reasons.

    When you look at the miracles recorded, they are helping others, or making teaching points. They are not helping himself - it is not about winning burping competitions. And that is critical to the nature of miracles and Jesus ministry as a whole.

    For me Jesus humanity is crucial. Yes, he did everything that people do. Even that.
  • "Away in a Manger" is one of my least favorite Christmas songs. Partly because of that bit about "The poor Baby wakes, But little Lord Jesus
    No crying He makes." I have a feeling Mary and Joseph might have something to say about that.
  • Agreed. Sentimental Tosh™.
  • PigletPiglet All Saints Host, Circus Host
    Away in a manger was written in 1882, and I'm inclined to see that verse as a Victorian characterisation of the "ideal" child, i.e. one who is "seen but not heard".

    Just my 2p.
  • HedgehogHedgehog Shipmate
    Personally, I figure the song is just talking about that one particular occasion: the child awakes and right now isn't crying. I don't read it as meaning that the child never ever cries.
  • Lots of kids interested in docetism?
  • Hmm. I think @Piglet might be right, but I see what you mean @Hedgehog.

    A little off-topic, maybe, but a 10-year old lassie, who used to come to weekday Mass now and then, with her Uncle, once asked 'Why do we need so many words to talk to God?'.

    Good question.
  • EnochEnoch Shipmate
    Speaking personally, making excuses for Away in the Manger is not going to change my view of it, which is that @Pigwidgeon and @Bishops Finger are being needlessly benevolent.
  • edited March 2020
    Piglet wrote: »
    Away in a manger was written in 1882, and I'm inclined to see that verse as a Victorian characterisation of the "ideal" child, i.e. one who is "seen but not heard".

    Just my 2p.

    In Victorian times, the baby could have been given laudanum (opium dissolved in alcohol), one version: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Godfrey's_Cordial

    I didn't find a link just now, but know that babies were also given cocaine in syrup which has the added benefit that cocaine anaesthetises the gums and mouth for teething babies.

    Are we certain that the wise men brought only gold, frankincense and myrrh? Did Jesus get stoned and happily lay quietly, thinking of marshmallow skies?
  • Schroedingers CatSchroedingers Cat Shipmate, Waving not Drowning Host
    I have had Myrrh in coffee once. It sent me pretty high. No need for anything else.
  • Good grief. Was that by accident, or design?
    :flushed:
  • Yes, the fully human nature of Jesus means that he was totally participating in the humanity of his time. There are apocraphal stories

    Lovely!
  • Good grief. Was that by accident, or design?
    :flushed:

    Intelligent Design?
  • Piglet wrote: »
    Away in a manger was written in 1882, and I'm inclined to see that verse as a Victorian characterisation of the "ideal" child, i.e. one who is "seen but not heard".

    Just my 2p.

    In Victorian times, the baby could have been given laudanum (opium dissolved in alcohol), one version: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Godfrey's_Cordial

    I didn't find a link just now, but know that babies were also given cocaine in syrup which has the added benefit that cocaine anaesthetises the gums and mouth for teething babies.

    Are we certain that the wise men brought only gold, frankincense and myrrh? Did Jesus get stoned and happily lay quietly, thinking of marshmallow skies?

    Maybe M&J had an early version of gripe water to hand, the original recipe with alcohol :grin:
  • GalilitGalilit Shipmate
    edited March 2020
    Chamomile - it's a native here
  • Schroedingers CatSchroedingers Cat Shipmate, Waving not Drowning Host
    Good grief. Was that by accident, or design?
    :flushed:

    Deliberate - Ethiopian coffee. The cup was also censed with frankincense. I didn't pay in Gold though.

    Yes, the fully human nature of Jesus means that he was totally participating in the humanity of his time. There are apocraphal stories

    Lovely!

    Sometimes the typos make it better, don't they?
  • Apparently, as a wee bairn I developed a dependency on a product called Numb Gum(?) that eased the pain of teeth coming in. Explains a lot.
  • Gee DGee D Shipmate
    edited March 2020
    Did it ease their falling out? After all, as you suggest, it made a major contribution to that.
  • Could God stop the virus spreading?
  • Could God stop the virus spreading?

    Not unless we cooperate.
  • Call on God, but row away from the rocks. --Arab proverb
  • Gee DGee D Shipmate
    He gave us the ability to think, to work out strategies, to devise treatments and medicines. We can ask for the strength to use these skills and for compassion in their application.
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