Heaven: Ch-ch-ch-changes!

StooStoo Shipmate
edited January 16 in Limbo
I must register my voice of protest.

Nothing was brought up at the last PCC meeting. Why on earth do we think we can change *any* of this without first consulting the committee? Really, I mean, have any of you even stopped to question what Jesus would do? (Certainly not *this*, that's for sure!) Surely you remember what happened when Jeff tried to get us to move to Hymns Slightly Less Ancient? Enid nearly brought about the apocalypse by herself!

Put It Back, or I shall be forced to threaten writing to the Bishop, for the sake of the future of the community, most of whom agree with me (I've had several PMs). Don't say you've not been warned.

Yours in Christ,

Stoo
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Comments

  • jedijudyjedijudy Heaven Host
    Stoo! Excellent to see you!
    However, your protest has been outweighed by the PTB! No, not God. You Know Who! :star:

    As I recall, one of the Hymns Slightly Less Ancient was grudgingly seemed to be singable with a slightly appropriate lyric. With that crack, therefore, caution has been thrown to the wind!!
  • Not to be junior hosting or anything, but don't complaints about church music belong in Dead Horses?
  • jedijudyjedijudy Heaven Host
    edited March 2018
    Dearest, Sainted Stoo, I believe that during the last PCC meeting (or Administrative Board as some of the youth call it) you were called away to check the coffee and tea bag supply when we discussed and voted on 'the change'. By the way, thanks for saving the church all that money by making sure we had the weakest possible beverage ingredients!

    I won't say that we waited until you were out of the room to bring the subject up. I'm sure it was just a coincidence.

    Are you sure all those PMs are not from Enid?
  • LydaLyda Shipmate
    mousethief wrote: »
    Not to be junior hosting or anything, but don't complaints about church music belong in Dead Horses?

    And don't complaints about changes around here belong in the Styx?

    (First non-practice post. I'm a new and sportier Lyda*Rose. Except my avatar still errs on the medieval.)
  • HuiaHuia Shipmate
    I believe Stoo may be correct, after all was there a quorum present when the decision was made? Not to mention selling off great Aunt Agatha's gold filigree candle sticks without consultation.

    This was hardly the decision of Good Christian People.

    In humility,

    Huia
  • JennyAnnJennyAnn Shipmate
    Was a faculty obtained?
  • No, only the promise of a Good Slap-up Meal to the Archdeacon if he promised not to interfere.
  • FirenzeFirenze Shipmate, Host Emeritus
    I’m sorry the text of the Minutes is rather faint - the mimeograph’s been playing up again. Speaking of which, perhaps I can raise the question of acquiring one of these photocopying machines? I know we’ve had concerns because they are electrically powered, and we all remember what happened when we tried to run the Christmas tree lights from the plug in the vestry.
  • geroffgeroff Shipmate
    edited March 2018
    Mimeograph??? When we are still using a fountain pen for the vestry minutes?
  • I can see that going to the first post on a thread is OK at the moment: but when there are numerous and/or lengthy comments/posts? I think not.

    Bring back the chance to go straight to the last post.
  • FirenzeFirenze Shipmate, Host Emeritus
    Yes, about the fountain pen. You know WH Smiths don’t stock bottles of ink any longer? I know Mrs Bagnold has treated us to her views on the reckless waste of using biros, but can I just say lamp black doesn't grow on trees.
  • jedijudyjedijudy Heaven Host
    I have to confess that I enjoyed the peacock blue ink used by Miss Powell during the mid-summer meeting last year. It's such a shame that her spelling is so atrocious. Her handwriting and those darling curlicues make up for her lack, however. So, it was Miss Powell's fault that we found dogs in church rather than God.

    Mr. Stoo, are we to gather that you have dropped your complaint? I am just getting ready to change the paint color in the vestibule, so, if you would like to add your input, there are four paint chips you can choose from. No, we can't paint it the same color it is right now. Paint chips don't come in Christmas Eve service Candle Soot.
  • MiffyMiffy Shipmate
    Firenze wrote: »
    I’m sorry the text of the Minutes is rather faint - the mimeograph’s been playing up again. Speaking of which, perhaps I can raise the question of acquiring one of these photocopying machines? I know we’ve had concerns because they are electrically powered, and we all remember what happened when we tried to run the Christmas tree lights from the plug in the vestry.
    Firenze wrote: »
    I’m sorry the text of the Minutes is rather faint - the mimeograph’s been playing up again. Speaking of which, perhaps I can raise the question of acquiring one of these photocopying machines? I know we’ve had concerns because they are electrically powered, and we all remember what happened when we tried to run the Christmas tree lights from the plug in the vestry.

    You’ve not been the same since, have you?
  • FirenzeFirenze Shipmate, Host Emeritus
    But on the other hand my hearing aid now picks up Gaydio FM. Most informative.
  • MiffyMiffy Shipmate
    What is this mimeograph of which you speak? Back in good old Father Hugh’s day we used stone tablets and were thankful for it.
  • Oh, Miffy, we've moved up to parchment. It's so much easier to carry!
  • StooStoo Shipmate
    I most certainly have *not* dropped my complaint. Who do you think I am? Job?

    No. I have instead been using my time wisely, gathering names across the parish for the petition to Restore Order. I am pleased to be able to count so many who find it hard to voice their own opinion alone amongst our number, and humbled to find I have elected myself as sole spokesperson for the group.

    We have several humble and righteous demands, but priorities dictate that we should first require the establishment to reinstate the ex-Heaven-hosts nightly whisky rations; then - and only then - can we look to some of the concerns of the wider group.

    I look forward to your swift rectification of this extremely sorry situation.
  • jedijudyjedijudy Heaven Host
    So that's where the whisky has been going! :confused: It's a good thing the GIN is safely hidden in a sekrit hiding place.

    Jo...I mean, Stoo, I see you have pulled Huia and JennyAnn (surprise!) to your side of the Argument Against Change™.

    **holds the minutes up to the light** See? Right there! The committee decided to throw caution to the wind! It says, "Change everything!!" No, I'm sure that's not in my handwriting.

    If you notice...we now actually have water for our Ship! Look down there. No. Farther down. Even if you write the Bishop, there is likely very little he can do! As soon as the last passenger/parishioner boards, off we go!

    Now, about those paint chips...
  • HuiaHuia Shipmate
    Are any of them purple? I know it's said by some of those "New Age" people to be a "spiritual" colour, but it is not one I wold like to see used here. The Bishop might get the impression we were trying to usurp his authority, and that would never do. :innocent: A good serviceable colour is what we need here.

    Huia
  • FirenzeFirenze Shipmate, Host Emeritus
    I see we’ve just received a charitable donation from the MD of Hemlock Hardware of 15 tins of gloss finish in Electric Lime. The accompanying letter suggests ‘it will brighten the old place up a bit’. I take it the committee would like me to send a letter of thanks?
  • jedijudyjedijudy Heaven Host
    Well, I'm sure we could use the Electric Lime somewhere. Stoo, which room do you use the most? We have special paint for that room!

    Unfortunately the four paint chips I have are labeled: Pristine Dirt, Cracked Rock, Beigiest Beige, and Early Ugly. Have we decided to go with the Lime?

    It seems our dear, sainted Mr. Stoo has forsaken us! Could he have made an in person appearance at the Bishop's Place?

    I personally am not opposed to purple paint! (Says the person whose exterior house paint turned out way more purple than I thought it would. Really!)
  • Golden KeyGolden Key Shipmate
    edited March 2018
    Firenze--

    Why not make a gelatin copier? (Kids Kreate) Instructions included. No electricity needed to run it!
    :smiley:
  • FirenzeFirenze Shipmate, Host Emeritus
    Golden Key wrote: »
    Firenze--

    Why not make a gelatin copier? (Kids Kreate) Instructions included. No electricity needed to run it!
    :smiley:

    You know how seriously Dunstan takes veganism. Expecting him to handle something produced with gelatin would be the equivalent of dowsing him, Carrie-like, in pig’s blood. And possibly the same level of reaction. Remember the trouble we had hushing up the business with the bell ringers and the ham sandwich?
  • According to this site the lime green will go well with the purple so Stoo's room could come together nicely.

    (I actually googled for lime green and orange decorating ideas having a vague memory of a Changing Rooms episode and decorating rooms to order to match.)
  • LeRocLeRoc Shipmate
    Firenze wrote: »
    Remember the trouble we had hushing up the business with the bell ringers and the ham sandwich?
    Let me guess. You gave them GIN.

  • FirenzeFirenze Shipmate, Host Emeritus
    LeRoc wrote: »
    Firenze wrote: »
    Remember the trouble we had hushing up the business with the bell ringers and the ham sandwich?
    Let me guess. You gave them GIN.

    These were bellringers not archdeacons! It took 53 pints of Gruntfuttock’s Old Peculiar before they agreed not to press charges.
  • jedijudyjedijudy Heaven Host
    As I recall, the Altar Guild ladies took it upon themselves to pass the hat to pay for those pints.
  • FirenzeFirenze Shipmate, Host Emeritus
    jedijudy wrote: »
    As I recall, the Altar Guild ladies took it upon themselves to pass the hat to pay for those pints.

    Their Nude Beetle Drive is remembered to this day.
  • As the PCC’s Yoof rep, I’ve been asked to pass on our concerns that the Altar Guild Ladies’ hats are being held up as some sort of millinery model for the YF. Tracey said that the pew bibles have been bookmarked at 1 Corinthians 11.
  • jedijudyjedijudy Heaven Host
    Might I suggest to the Yoof females that they emulate Sister Sadie? SS's sparkly cowgirl hats have been known to cause whisperings amongst the guild ladies. Perhaps after a few weeks of compliant protest, the Altar Guild will decide to concentrate on those fingerprints on the brass.

    Oh, the whole group could change the pew bible bookmarks to Colossians 3:21 in no time at all!
  • FirenzeFirenze Shipmate, Host Emeritus
    Just check with police forensics that it’s ok to clean them off now. I have to say there’s been a disappointing lack of progress over the break-in. And can we paint over the ‘Down with Tractarianism’ slogans?
  • jedijudyjedijudy Heaven Host
    I have the paint chips!

    Bother. I had forgotten that the police were still dilly-dallying over that unfortunate mess. Well, that does explain why the candle holders are fancy wine bottles, and the flowers are in unmatched glass vases.

    Well, we can tell Brother Stoo that at least we didn't knock the whole thing down as was suggested at that one special meeting. I believe Ermaline is still having the vapors over that one.
  • Thankyou for your thoughtfulness concerning Ermaline’s allergic reaction to incense. I really think that the Rector should have consulted Risk Management before he acceded to Brian’s request to be a thurifer.
  • FirenzeFirenze Shipmate, Host Emeritus
    Ah yes. Brian and the ‘special’ incense he bought in Amsterdam. That was a very memorable evensong.
  • And the time Brian tried demonstrating his skill with the thurible. He really shouldn't have attempted the 360° swings. That new family couldn't cope with being showered by burning coals, however Biblical. Who knew that tacky looking fur coat was real mink? Although the insurance company is still querying the bill.
  • Firenze wrote: »
    Ah yes. Brian and the ‘special’ incense he bought in Amsterdam. That was a very memorable evensong.

    I really like that incense. We've started using it regularly and .....

    Sorry, I've completely lost my drift and forgotten what I was saying. Has anyone got any Monster Munch?
  • AnnieDAnnieD Shipmate
    Ahem, SoFCTC* here. WE weren't told ANYTHING.

    *Ship of Fools Churches Together Council
  • Lily PadLily Pad Shipmate
    AnnieD, what are you on about? You know very well that that is the way we have always done it. If you wanted to know, you should have read the minutes.
  • According to this site the lime green will go well with the purple so Stoo's room could come together nicely.

    (I actually googled for lime green and orange decorating ideas having a vague memory of a Changing Rooms episode and decorating rooms to order to match.)

    [tangent] One of the bedrooms in our house was painted in purple and green when we bought it. After 20 years I know it's still there, under the wallpaper... [/tangent]

    I would like to ask if the Diocesan Obstruction, sorry, Advisory Committee has had its chance to comment? You realise that you are only the tenants of the Ship, protecting the legacy of those promoted to glory* while keeping it in trust for future generations of Shipmates?

    * those who became Hosts and Admins

  • jedijudyjedijudy Heaven Host
    edited March 2018
    Glory? Glory! That's where I am?
    That explains so much.

    Might I suggest to those who were in shock and awe at 'the change', things aren't quite so different as you may fear!

    If you will walk with me, you will see that we have the very same old coffee maker that we had before the previous change! We are also using the same hymnal, just new versions. Notice, the covers are all intact, and there are no torn pages!!
  • JacobsenJacobsen Shipmate
    The other thing which never changes is the guy on the PCC who talks and talks until the other members have lost the will to live. Why is homicide not justifiable under these circumstances? There are various provisions for permitting a person to take another's life without sin. Surely this is one of the relevant circumstances, or didn't they have people with verbal diarrhea in the Bible? and don't quote the Tower of Babel to me. :confounded: :weary: :rage:
  • jedijudy wrote: »
    ... If you will walk with me, you will see that we have the very same old coffee maker that we had before the previous change! We are also using the same hymnal, just new versions. Notice, the covers are all intact, and there are no torn pages!!

    My great-grandmother gave those hymnals in memory of my great-great grandparents, and the torn covers and pages are sacred to her (and their) memory. Fie!
  • balaambalaam Shipmate
    edited March 2018
    Could we have a new PCC secretary please.

    I know the job was done by his father and grandfather before him, but Old Albert's dyslexia does not seem to be improving.

    However his rendition of the hymn All Craters of our Cod and Thing (from an old torn hymnal) last Sunday was most amusing.
  • Thankyou for mentioning that. The Rector asked me to find out what Tracey was up to, getting the YF to memorise Remember now thy Crater in the days of thy Youth. All is now clear.
  • AnnieDAnnieD Shipmate
    Lily Pad wrote: »
    AnnieD, what are you on about? You know very well that that is the way we have always done it. If you wanted to know, you should have read the minutes.

    Christian unity! Pah! That may be very well, but what's going to happen to the All Together Service? The Methodists are Not Happy, we've yet to break the news to the Church of the Nazarene. :O
  • Jacobsen wrote: »
    The other thing which never changes is the guy on the PCC who talks and talks until the other members have lost the will to live. Why is homicide not justifiable under these circumstances? There are various provisions for permitting a person to take another's life without sin. Surely this is one of the relevant circumstances, or didn't they have people with verbal diarrhea in the Bible? and don't quote the Tower of Babel to me. :confounded: :weary: :rage:

    This is why the PCC (or any committee) should be chaired by someone who eats later than most, but not Spanish-late. Usually they are quite posh, which gives them extra gravitas. Ideally, find a retired colonel. He (it's usually a he) will want to be home by 7:45 at the latest. Start your meetings at 6pm, with an agenda, and said chair will stamp pretty firmly on AOB, standing that these must be items that are relevant, can't be handled outside the meeting and absolutely must be concluded before the next meeting.

    Of course, if your happy rambler is in the chair, you're f****d.
  • jedijudyjedijudy Heaven Host
    Rossweisse wrote: »
    My great-grandmother gave those hymnals in memory of my great-great grandparents, and the torn covers and pages are sacred to her (and their) memory. Fie!

    Oh! We still have those ancient rel...um...treasures! They are all in the original building where tours are available to the public. Miss Thrasher thinks we should charge admission. Mr. Prather suggested charges should be based on age. Mr. Eldridge thinks if the tours aren't free, nobody would bother to take advantage.
  • PigletPiglet All Saints Host, Circus Host
    balaam wrote: »
    ... his rendition of the hymn All Craters of our Cod and Thing (from an old torn hymnal) last Sunday was most amusing.

    You think you've got problems? We had Immoral, Invisible last week. :mrgreen:
  • Was that at Evensnog?
  • PigletPiglet All Saints Host, Circus Host
    edited March 2018
    No - Matings. :grin:
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