Ship of Fools: First United Methodist, Glendale, Arizona, USA


imageShip of Fools: First United Methodist, Glendale, Arizona, USA

A home-grown hymn sandwich of a service at a church with elusive service times

Read the full Mystery Worshipper report here


Comments

  • Terry TeeTerry Tee Shipmate Posts: 10
    If I remember correctly, Ms Amanda, you had a bad experience with the Romanians, but you might try the OCA Sts Peter and Paul at Monte Vista Road not too far from you At least in Valley of the Sun driving time. /// On the topic of churches deterring worshippers, I had a similar experience trying to attend a weekday Mass at St Mary's Catholic basilica in Grand Rapids MI. I tried the most obvious doors and was about to give up before I spotted people slipping in through a side door that I like you had not previously noticed. Weird that churches do this kind of thing.
  • Sadly, @Terry Tee, Miss Amanda has gone ashore, with no plans to board the Ship again. We can always hope, though, that she might check in on occasion.

    Meanwhile, you might enjoy her last Mystery Worshipper report.

  • Hmm. The service MWed is fairly recent - 23rd July 2023 - so maybe Miss Amanda has decided to carry on, at least with her own findings?

    I hope so!
  • Oh, I didn’t catch that. I hope so too!
  • Bishops FingerBishops Finger Shipmate
    edited August 2023
    :wink:

    We shall see...the Report indicates that Miss Amanda is/was disillusioned with her current church (a local Lutheran fane, IIRC), so there is indeed hope.

    Meanwhile, First United Methodist clearly need to update their website, noticeboards etc. In these days of modern and easily-available technology, there's really no valid excuse.

    I regularly update Our Place's website (mostly on Saturdays, or as occasion requires), and it takes only a few minutes. I used to do the outside notice boards, but I leave that now to FatherInCharge, having bought him a nice new laminator to make sure the notices are waterproof!
    :wink:
  • This strikes as a typical inward-looking "everyone knows" situation, with no realisation that information needs to be correct if the church wishes to attract newcomers.

    When I was thinking about moving to My Last Place, I decided to pay a visit to their Thursday lunchtime "Open Church" meeting. When I got to the main door, it was firmly locked. I tried the side door - ditto. Eventually i found a little passageway under some buttresses, round to the Hall at the back, where, lo and behold ...

    Of course I was told that "everyone knows the way in" and told them in quite strong terms that "no, they don't". When I came a made sure that there were notices to direct people.
  • Our Place used to have a painted notice board which read *Weekday Entrance* , meaning the side door nearest the vestry and vicarage, not visible from the road, and with a very uneven path, and *Sunday Entrance*, meaning the main street door leading directly (with level access) into the church. This may have had something to do with the fact that, not infrequently, the then vicar was the only person at a weekday Mass, if the other 2 or 3 elderly regulars were absent...

    When I revamped the noticeboards, and the website, it was made quite clear that the main street door was the entrance. I also made a portable signboard to hold a notice saying *Welcome! The Church is open - please come in* for use when the door was open, whether or not a service was under way.
  • Ah, someone's noticed! :wink:

    Miss Amanda just might be in the mood for a breath of sea air.
  • stetsonstetson Shipmate
    Hey!!
  • Ah, someone's noticed! :wink:

    Miss Amanda just might be in the mood for a breath of sea air.
    What wonderful news!!
  • NenyaNenya All Saints Host, Ecclesiantics & MW Host
    Welcome back, Miss Amanda! :smile:
  • It does feel like we ought to throw a party.

    Since you’re here, @Amanda B Reckondwyth, might I ask how “Kingdomtide” was misspelled in the bulletin?

  • Kingdomtdie
  • O dear. That conjures up quite the wrong image...
    :flushed:

    Our Place's draft weekly bulletin sometimes contains such typos, BUT FatherInCharge is careful to send it to me for checking first...not that I always pick up mistakes, but I does me best, Guv.
  • Kingdomtdie
    Ah, thanks.

    When I was growing up, finding and laughing about the typos in the bulletin was a regular game. The question was never were there any, but how many and how amusing.

  • Bilbo111Bilbo111 Shipmate Posts: 1
    My favourite bulletin typo was a reference to "Angels hoovering above".
  • angloidangloid Shipmate
    Possibly apocryphal, but one church had to scrap its pew sheets for Pentecost at the last minute, having been victim of a typo for the alternative title of *hit Sunday.
  • Bilbo111 wrote: »
    My favourite bulletin typo was a reference to "Angels hoovering above".

    It wouldn't do for heaven to have dirty carpets, now, would it?
  • :lol:

    Welcome aboard @Bilbo111 - the subject of amusing and/or embarrassing typos in church notices etc. would make a fine thread of its own!

    I expect there's been one before (possibly in the Circus, or in Heaven?).
  • Alan29Alan29 Shipmate
    There is a Facebook group dedicated to Church typos.
  • DardaDarda Shipmate
    Alan29 wrote: »
    There is a Facebook group dedicated to Church typos.

    Also on this website advertising proof reading services!
    https://www.proofreadingservices.com/pages/church-bulletin-typos
  • HymnNumber466HymnNumber466 Shipmate Posts: 39
    Darda wrote: »
    Alan29 wrote: »
    There is a Facebook group dedicated to Church typos.

    Also on this website advertising proof reading services!
    https://www.proofreadingservices.com/pages/church-bulletin-typos

    Some of the examples on the link are very funny.

    It’s not a typo or grammatical issue, but I am amused each time by the dismissal:

    Priest: “Go forth, the Mass is ended”
    Us: “Thanks be to God”
  • I recall first hearing Mass in the vernacular mid 1964; first year in high school and first form ( all 200 of us at the regional Catholic girls’ high I attended at the time).

    We all burst into giggles at the dismissal; it was after all a long Mass during a (silent) retreat with an over-long sermon in a chilly building.

    At least the priest (a Jesuit with a sense of humour) seconded our collective response.
  • Inadvertently funny comments made in dead seriousness are a whole other thing. Once in a Pentecostal church I heard the minister bring the congregation up-to-date on renovations to an adjoining space. He said, "The plumbing in the ladies' room is finished, praise Jesus."
  • I was in a Pentecostal church when someone prayed, "Lord, we bring before you all those who cannot be with us tonight" and someone else shouted out, "Thank you, Lord!"

    To be fair, we did all burst out laughing.
  • RuthRuth Shipmate
    From the proofreading website: "Church office will be closed Monday. Halleluia. Halleluia."

    Having worked for over 20 years in a church office and produced thousands of bulletins, I can assure you this isn't a typo.
  • ZappaZappa Shipmate
    edited September 2023
    Ah, someone's noticed! :wink:

    Miss Amanda just might be in the mood for a breath of sea air.

    Well yay!
  • Well yay!
  • Gee DGee D Shipmate
    Zappa wrote: »
    Ah, someone's noticed! :wink:

    Miss Amanda just might be in the mood for a breath of sea air.

    Well yay!

    From all of us.
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