Coupled with Cain killing Abel and then receiving the protective “Mark of Cain,” I think?
Exactly. I was describing an extra-textual event, based on what the Bible says happened to Cain. And writing him as a lot more of an obnoxious jerk than is usually assumed.
I wasn't impressed by that dirty little River Jordan - there are much nicer rivers closer to home. So I wasn't very keen on dipping myself into it, especially as I was told that I had to sign up for a course of seven immersions - surely it would only make my skin disease ten times worse than it was already?
Well, I was wrong. I don't know what's in that water, but it has the most amazing curative properties! At the end of my treatment my skin was as soft and smooth as a baby's. My thanks to Elisha for insisting that I should go there - 5* rating even though the changing facilities were rudimentary and there was no hair-dryer.
Hmm. Well, yes, but that grasping, servile little attendant (Gehazi, or some such name) was a nasty piece of work. I heard later that his greed got him his come-uppance in no uncertain manner.
Imagine my shock when I was called into the loan office and was told my encumbrance has been slashed by 50%! When I got the notice, I knew my chit would be called. My life passed through my mind as I entered the office. Talk about relief. I am going to make it now.
Imagine my shock when I was called into the loan office and was told my encumbrance has been slashed by 50%! When I got the notice, I knew my chit would be called. My life passed through my mind as I entered the office. Talk about relief. I am going to make it now.
I think though that we're straying a bit from Tripadvisor-style reviews ... You may disagree.
The thing is, there actually aren't that many well-known and detailed instances in the bible of people actually venturing to a foreign place, or at least ones in which the foreign setting is highly relevant to the story.
So speaking for myself, I've sometimes ended up either describing basically generic events from the viewpoint of a non-canonical traveler(eg. the burning of the scrolls in Ephesus), or switching themes to entertainment etc reviews(eg. Ezekiel as a stand-up comic). My approach, anyway.
That's the last of Zeke's Bus Tours for us. "Come see one of the wonders of the world!" they said. They were right. Never saw anything like it - a desert valley full of human bones. But they didn't tell us that before we got out of it we'd be surrounded by a hungry army waving weapons and demanding food. The bus driver barely got us out with our packed lunches intact. Do they do that once a day, or was it a one-off thing? I wouldn't take a chance on it if I were you.
Returning from Jerusalem to Jericho, I came across what looked like a bloody vagrant in the ditch. Gross! Seems like the highway patrol is not doing its job keeping the byway clear. Had to walk by on the other side with a handkerchief to my nose. Just as I went around, what looked like a Samaritan was going into the ditch, no doubt to rob the vagrant again. Wish there was another way to avoid this bloody stretch of road.
Well, I was out in the fields with my 100 sheep letting them do their sheep stuff until I needed to get them home. I counted noses, and *of course* the derpiest wool-ball managed to lose itself. My wife's favorite (she's sooo cute!) How did it lose itself in a *field*? So I tramped off into the distance hither and yon and found the goofy thing, slung it over my shoulder and returned to the field. To find that the whole brainless lot had headed into multiple directions. There is no good ending to this. I will likely be late to dinner, possibly with a number of sheep still missing. sigh
Well, I was out in the fields with my 100 sheep letting them do their sheep stuff until I needed to get them home. I counted noses, and *of course* the derpiest wool-ball managed to lose itself. My wife's favorite (she's sooo cute!) How did it lose itself in a *field*? So I tramped off into the distance hither and yon and found the goofy thing, slung it over my shoulder and returned to the field. To find that the whole brainless lot had headed into multiple directions. There is no good ending to this. I will likely be late to dinner, possibly with a number of sheep still missing. sigh
Okay, I admit it. I may have ingested something that had wheat rust on it. I was out watching my sheep during the night, when lo and behold, the sky lit up in all kinds of colours. Did I hear voices? Singing? Not really sure. But next thing I knew, me and my friends were kneeling at a manger. Going have to lay off that stuff for a while.
I wish to congratulate you on your recent taking of marriage vows. I heard that your wedding banquet was the social event of the season. I would have loved to attend, but I was denied entrance because I was not wearing a wedding garment.
I find it hard to believe that all your other guests, whom you invited in from off the street, were wearing theirs. Some premonition must have possessed them that morning, advising them to dress up in their wedding garments before venturing out, on the off chance that they may just be invited in to a wedding banquet on the spur of the moment. How could that premonition ever have missed me?
But my dentist thanks you, as the "weeping and gnashing of teeth" that took place after I was unceremoniously ejected has resulted in my needing major dental restoration work that will take several appointments. I am sure you will understand when I send you his bill, and that you will render prompt payment of same.
Speaking as the father of the bride, I am really thankful for that man from Nazarath for saving my bacon. Opps, sorry I know observant Jews don't eat that stuff. I mean, who would have thought those jugs of water could turn into not only wine, but the finest wine anyone could have had? Next time my other daughter gets married, I am going to invite that guy specially.
Speaking as the father of the bride, I am really thankful for that man from Nazarath for saving my bacon. Opps, sorry I know observant Jews don't eat that stuff. I mean, who would have thought those jugs of water could turn into not only wine, but the finest wine anyone could have had? Next time my other daughter gets married, I am going to invite that guy specially.
Ash one of the gheshts, just let me just shay it wash the - I mean the, pish-up of the year. Who wash that guy, he's fun?
Comments
Yeah. Sorry, I shoulda said "The Land Of Nod". His immunity from retaliation is reference to the Mark.
Exactly. I was describing an extra-textual event, based on what the Bible says happened to Cain. And writing him as a lot more of an obnoxious jerk than is usually assumed.
Well, I was wrong. I don't know what's in that water, but it has the most amazing curative properties! At the end of my treatment my skin was as soft and smooth as a baby's. My thanks to Elisha for insisting that I should go there - 5* rating even though the changing facilities were rudimentary and there was no hair-dryer.
Which story?
So speaking for myself, I've sometimes ended up either describing basically generic events from the viewpoint of a non-canonical traveler(eg. the burning of the scrolls in Ephesus), or switching themes to entertainment etc reviews(eg. Ezekiel as a stand-up comic). My approach, anyway.
"Well, maybe you wouldn't have lost your sight in the first place if your new best friend hadn't knocked you off your horse. FAFO."
"I used to like his bodycam videos where he's interrogating the wafer-eaters. That was some kickass stuff but now smh."
----> Those were all staged, man.
"Hey, I don't recognize the channel. Did this guy change his name?"
Good one.
I wish to congratulate you on your recent taking of marriage vows. I heard that your wedding banquet was the social event of the season. I would have loved to attend, but I was denied entrance because I was not wearing a wedding garment.
I find it hard to believe that all your other guests, whom you invited in from off the street, were wearing theirs. Some premonition must have possessed them that morning, advising them to dress up in their wedding garments before venturing out, on the off chance that they may just be invited in to a wedding banquet on the spur of the moment. How could that premonition ever have missed me?
But my dentist thanks you, as the "weeping and gnashing of teeth" that took place after I was unceremoniously ejected has resulted in my needing major dental restoration work that will take several appointments. I am sure you will understand when I send you his bill, and that you will render prompt payment of same.
Ash one of the gheshts, just let me just shay it wash the - I mean the, pish-up of the year. Who wash that guy, he's fun?