Going out

Gracious RebelGracious Rebel Shipmate
edited February 19 in The 8th Day
This was promoted by the hymns thread where someone quoted 'You shall go out with joy'. That was always an awkward one for me as a teenager because my name is Joy, and in those days 'going out' was the standard way of referring to people in a relationship, so it always seemed to prompt some sniggers in my direction.

But it made me think how the terminology changes over time. I don't know if young people today would necessarily make that association. My parents generation used to speak of 'when we were courting' which seemed ridiculously quaint to us as 1970s teens. But probably my generation's talk of 'going out' sounds just as twee today?

Not quite sure what the latest terminology is to be honest. For myself I would probably use the word 'seeing' these days as in 'Is she seeing someone?' but I don't think today's youth would use that.

So what other terms are there? Does what you call it have a bearing on how you behave?

As an aside it seems to me that more people nowadays are in much more casual arrangements not necessarily exclusive or even potentially leading to any sort of commitment....seems a different world from the strict rules for young people in the church when I grew up!

Comments

  • NenyaNenya Shipmate
    I think my kids - in their 20s - would talk about "seeing someone" as the first stage, implying you've been out on a few prearranged occasions. It seems then to progress to "going out with" which implies a definite level of exclusion and commitment. Then comes "being an item." That's pretty serious!

    I wouldn't like to say at what point sex happens, I guess it depends on the individuals and their understanding of each stage.
  • In Victorian times people talked about stepping out" or "walking out" with someone - and, given the strict regimentation of those days, I think that was pretty literally true! (But who knows what happened behind secluded hedgerows - yes, Laurie Lee, I'm looking at you!)
  • FirenzeFirenze Shipmate, Host Emeritus
    When I was a child, adults would talk of a couple ‘courting.’ If the relationship was less than licit - ie one or other was already married - then it was ‘fancy man/woman’.

    By the time I was of an age, it was ‘going out with’ (not that that happened to me a lot).

    But eventually I graduated to be being a ‘bidey-in’.
  • Nenya wrote: »
    I think my kids - in their 20s - would talk about "seeing someone" as the first stage, implying you've been out on a few prearranged occasions. It seems then to progress to "going out with" which implies a definite level of exclusion and commitment. Then comes "being an item." That's pretty serious!

    I wouldn't like to say at what point sex happens, I guess it depends on the individuals and their understanding of each stage.

    My teens would also use these three stages of seeing someone, going out - I understand that at this point the someone is known as your girl/boyfriend - and then being an item.
  • BroJamesBroJames Purgatory Host
    There was a Joy in our youth group so the same happened there. I remember feeling that ‘courting’ was quaint and cringe-y. I don’t know what the currency is today.
  • balaambalaam Shipmate
    My first girlfriend was called Joy. That song always made me smile.
  • As it happens, Ms. T and I have just been schooled on this by our high school senior daughter. According to her and her segment of American teenager-dom, the stages after “friends” are:

    • “talking”—spending time together and going out casually, but not officially a couple or seeing each other exclusively
    • “dating”—officially a couple and seeing each other exclusively.

    Daughter and her gentleman caller transitioned from “talking” to “dating” over Christmas.
  • mousethiefmousethief Shipmate
    edited February 20
    Going Out (not a Rick Roll but from the same era)
  • The North East Man and I used courting in the late 1980s! Courting was the stage after dating - it was the point that we'd dated enough to regard each other as potential marriage material.

    Last week, the North East Loon told me that one of his classmates was now "facebook official" - they'd changed their status to "in a relationship" on FB. Apparently that's one of the stages in a relationship.
  • The term "Going steady" meant a lot in my day (1970s) and may still do so. I think that indicates some sexual activity.
  • Oh yes! I had forgotten about 'going steady'. Not a term you hear nowadays.
  • RossweisseRossweisse Shipmate, Hell Host
    The apotheosis of "going steady."
  • DiomedesDiomedes Shipmate
    My sons and I used have the kind of conversation that went ... Son - 'I'm going out with Laura. ' Me -'Oh that's nice. Are you GOING OUT with Laura now then?' Son 'No, not GOING OUT, just going out'. The capitals were accompanied by 'hands in the air, inverted comma' sign language!!
  • balaambalaam Shipmate
    So just going out is enjoying spending time and having drinks with someone of the prescribed gender, and seeing if it will move one to something serious, whilst <makes the gesture> GOING OUT is serious on both sides of the relationship. Lower case is casual and upper case serious. Have I got that right.?
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