Fortunately, Unfortunately

Spike · August 25

Rules are simple. One person starts a sentence saying “fortunately xxxx” and someone else responds “unfortunately xxxx” and so on. For example

Fortunately I got a new puppy
Unfortunately he ran away
Fortunately he came back with a £50 in his mouth.

You get the idea. I’ll start:

Fortunately, the vicar was sober this morning.

ECraigR · August 25

Unfortunately so was the parish.

Baptist Trainfan · August 25

Fortunately there was plenty of wine in the chalice.

MaryLouise · August 25

Unfortunately, it was cheap vinegary plonk and gave everyone a headache.

Pigwidgeon · August 25

Unfortunately it had gone sour.

Baptist Trainfan · August 25

Fortunately the drummer in the music group was on holiday.

Piglet · August 25

Unfortunately, the banjo player wasn't.

Spike · August 25

Fortunately the sour communion wine had made him ill

mousethief · August 25

Unfortunately, the sour communion wine had made him VERY ill.

stetson · August 25

Fortunately, his soon-to-be widow is pretty sexy.

Baptist Trainfan · August 25

Unfortunately, she has vowed to become a nun if he dies.

mousethief · August 25

Fortunately she's best friends with the abbess.

Enoch · August 25

Unfortunately, she hasn't realised that the convent is short of cash. So abbess hires out the prettier nuns to priests who are supposed to be celibate but find their commitment difficult.

Baptist Trainfan · August 25

Fortunately, they've all gone over to the Baptists and gotten themselves wives.

Firenze · August 25

Unfortunately The Inquisition have turned up (unexpectedly). There are going to be a load of auto-de-fes.

Enoch · August 25

Fortunately, because nobody expects the Spanish Inquisition there are no matches.

Baptist Trainfan · August 25

Unfortunately, it's a sunny day and someone is very nifty with a magnifying glass.

mousethief · August 25

Fortunately they forgot to bring tinder so there's nothing to burn.

SirPalomides · August 26

Unfortunately everyone is drenched after a freak gasoline fight at the BP station.

The5thMary · August 26

Fortunately, a busload of drag queens hosed everyone off with water whilst merrily singing, "Burn, Baby, Burn (Disco Inferno"

MaryLouise · August 26

Unfortunately, the Inquisition in their sassy black gowns issued double excommunications for all involved in the Disco Inferno.

mousethief · August 26

Fortunately the bus taking the Inquisition back to the Vatican crashed and burned, and the excommunications were destroyed before they could be registered.

Golden Key · August 26

Unfortunately, the inquisitors all had copies on their smart phones.

Baptist Trainfan · August 26

Fortunately, their batteries had all gone flat.

Robert Armin · August 26

Unfortunately, so had the choir.

SirPalomides · August 26

Fortunately the choir director was Bob Dylan and didn’t care.

jrw · August 26

Unfortunately a deranged Bob Dylan fan (who didn't approve of Bob's new venture) started waving a knife and shouting abuse and threats at him while he was conducting the choir in the church.

Baptist Trainfan · August 26

Fortunately he dropped the knife.

mousethief · August 26

Unfortunately he dropped it on Bob's toe

Spike · August 26

Fortunately when Bob cried out in pain, nobody noticed the difference from his normal singing voice

mousethief · August 26

Spike ROFL

NOprophet_NØprofit · August 26

Unfortunately, mousethief was laughing too hard to post an "unfortunately" line.

Nenya · August 26

Fortunately N0prophet_NØprofit stepped in and saved the day.

SirPalomides · August 26

Unfortunately, NPNP was in full kaiju form and crushed the entire city block beneath massive reptilian feet.

Golden Key · August 27

Fortunately, Bob Dylan broke into his song "In The Beginning", about Adam naming all the animals "in the beginning, long time ago", and this music had the power to soothe the savage feet of NP.

Spike · August 27

Unfortunately the Creationists adopted this as their anthem and sang it non stop

Robert Armin · August 27

Fortunately they kept singing until they dropped with exhaustion.

TheOrganist · August 27

Unfortunately all of them were tone deaf,

Sipech · August 27

Fortunately, their microphones weren't working.

Lily Pad · August 27

Unfortunately, the leader kept calling for them to sing more loudly.

mousethief · August 27

Fortunately they were in a soundproof room.

jrw · August 27

Unfortunately they left the soundproof room and went on a singing parade around the town centre.

mousethief · August 27

Fortuntely there was a microrapture and the townsfolk had all been removed by the deityofyourchoice to the next county.

Baptist Trainfan · August 27

Fortunately there had been a bomb scare and the entire population had been evacuated to a safe distance.

Sipech · August 27

[Following the Rodent Pilferer, as he got there first]
Unfortunately, the Creationists, though dumb, were also of the same denomination, so were raptured along with the rest of the townsfolk.

Baptist Trainfan · August 27

Fortunately their voices were gloriously renewed as this happened.

TheOrganist · August 27

...Unfortunately only in a parallel universe.

Baptist Trainfan · August 27

Fortunately Brian Cox came along, fiddled around with lots of high-powered astrophysics calculations, explained all about "bent space", and proved that the two universes actually intersected at just the right point.

Lily Pad · August 27

Unfortunately, none of them knew who Brian Cox was and didn't believe a word he said. shouting, "Fake news!"

mousethief · August 27

Fortunately a passerby recognized Brian Cox and bought him a pint.

NOprophet_NØprofit · August 27

Unfortunately the pint was from a mislabelled vat, 'twas actually window cleaning liquid with a lemon scent.

Ship of Fools

Fortunately, Unfortunately

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