Alexander Boris de Pfeffel Johnson

13031333536135

Comments

  • KarlLBKarlLB Shipmate
    Pendragon wrote: »
    Piglet wrote: »
    I can't quite explain why, but I don't think it ever occurred to me that Alistair Campbell was pulling Tony Blair's strings (he may have manipulated the way Blair's actions were reported, but that's presumably what he was paid for), but that's very much the way I see the relationship between Cummings and ABdePJ.

    I would agree with that: Alistair Campbell became synonymous with the term Spin Doctor, but Cummings is rather more of an unaccountable Grand Vazir, and trying to run No. 10 and meddle in the running of the state.

    Does he have a moustache to twiddle?
  • Bishops FingerBishops Finger Shipmate
    edited January 2020
    Not a moustache, but perhaps Other Twiddleable Parts...?

  • KarlLBKarlLB Shipmate
    Ewwww
  • Sorry about that. Yes, a somewhat yuck-inducing thought...
  • If you prefer, you can of course imagine Dominic Cummings as being entirely hairless.

    You're welcome.
  • KarlLBKarlLB Shipmate
    If you prefer, you can of course imagine Dominic Cummings as being entirely hairless.

    You're welcome.

    I do not prefer imagining him in any manner.
  • I have a theory that our Evil Overlords (Johnson, Trump, Kim Wrong-Trim, et al) are, in fact, ALIENS from another galaxy (or universe, or something).

    They have tried to create themselves in the image of Human Beings, but have failed in subtle ways - the weird hair is one of those ways... lack of empathy with real Human Beings is another...
    :scream:
  • I have a theory that our Evil Overlords (Johnson, Trump, Kim Wrong-Trim, et al) are, in fact, ALIENS from another galaxy (or universe, or something).

    They have tried to create themselves in the image of Human Beings, but have failed in subtle ways - the weird hair is one of those ways... lack of empathy with real Human Beings is another...
    :scream:

    That's dangerously close to David Ike territory. Or a Doctor Who plot, one or the other.
  • For the last four years I've been stating that we must have slipped through some flaw in the space time continuum to a parallel universe.

    The alternative explanations are one step beyond madness.
  • O yes - someone fiddled with the Large Hadron Collider somewhen around 2015. I've heard that, too.

    One could wish they'd fiddle us back, but the alternative(s) might be worse...
  • O yes - someone fiddled with the Large Hadron Collider somewhen around 2015. I've heard that, too.

    One could wish they'd fiddle us back, but the alternative(s) might be worse...

    Maybe the alternative was worse, and this is the best they could find to fiddle us back to. :astonished:
  • Yes, I was afraid that might be so.
    :confounded:
  • KarlLBKarlLB Shipmate
    What if this is like the n millionth iteration of some cosmic experiment to find out what happens if you turn the Stupid Idea filters off?
  • It's just the road to fascism, isn't it? It doesn't mean we will traverse the road to the endpoint, hopefully not.
  • HuiaHuia Shipmate
    Bloody hell Quez, way to throw a bucket of cold reality over the conversation.
  • Yes, just as some of us were starting to enjoy ourselves...in Hell of all places...

    I think @KarlLB's theory about the Stupid Idea filters being turned off may well be valid.
    :scream:
  • It's just the road to fascism, isn't it? It doesn't mean we will traverse the road to the endpoint, hopefully not.

    I think Edward Luttwak is sometimes overrated, but on this he seems to have been right.
  • HugalHugal Shipmate
    Boorish promises to go hard in negotiations with the EU. How long into the negotiations do you think it will take for the EU to thrash him? He has the negotiating skills of a paper bag
  • In a way, it won't matter.

    Whatever deal (or No Deal) results, The Mad Mophead will claim it as a personal victory for him, and for The Will Of The People.

    There is no hope. All is lost.
  • DooneDoone Shipmate
    And, of course, all the fault of the perfidious EU 🙄😥!
  • Hugal wrote: »
    Boorish promises to go hard in negotiations with the EU. How long into the negotiations do you think it will take for the EU to thrash him? He has the negotiating skills of a paper bag

    I think "go hard" in this context means he's going to be wanking furiously under the table during negotiations.
  • la vie en rougela vie en rouge Circus Host, 8th Day Host
    That's a mental image I could have done without. Brain bleach, please.
  • PigletPiglet All Saints Host, Circus Host
    Too right, La Vie - can you leave some for me?
  • I just wish someone - anyone - would explain to our politicians that the best approach to any negotiations is to keep your aims, red lines and strategy under wraps before and during any talks. Fools!
  • Actually, in such negotiations the best approach is to be entirely open. Make it very clear up front exactly what you would consider the best deal, what would be your red lines that you can't compromise on and conversely those things where you're willing to compromise. Everyone then knows exactly where they stand, can have a good think before the start of negotiations and concentrate on the areas of greatest difficulty (which would be redlines on both sides that are mutually contradictory and both sides are going to need to give at least a little on that point).

    Especially needed if you want to maintain a good working relationship after the negotiations. If you're never going to deal with each other again then you can go in to negotiations aiming to get whatever you can, by whatever method necessary. If part of what you're going to need is to achieve a good relationship after negotiations then you need to avoid unnecessarily antagonising each other.

    An open approach is also essential in a democracy where you're negotiating on behalf of the people and need to keep the electorate on your side. By far the best approach is to have a proper referendum (as opposed to the farcical non-question opinion poll of 2016) and put to the people a question which has already laid out what you'd want to achieve and what your red lines would be.

    The approach that simply can't be followed is to start negotiations without first defining what you want (whether or not you reveal that in advance), where you haven't decided on what your red lines are (whether or not you state those in advance) and don't have a defined strategy. Which has been the approach of this government, and the government under Mrs May before that. A "wing it and see what happens" is the worst possible approach, and seems to be the preference of De Waffle.
  • HugalHugal Shipmate
    News that the government are seriously looking at building a bridge between Northern Ireland and Scotland as Boorish talked about.
  • Oh my word - vanity project here we come.

    🙄
  • Hugal wrote: »
    News that the government are seriously looking at building a bridge between Northern Ireland and Scotland as Boorish talked about.

    Oh yeah like that's going to happen.
  • It won't if they're looking at it seriously.
  • Hugal wrote: »
    News that the government are seriously looking at building a bridge between Northern Ireland and Scotland as Boorish talked about.

    At the very least, surely a tunnel would make more sense ? We have few earthquakes, but many, many storms.
  • BroJamesBroJames Purgatory Host, 8th Day Host
    edited February 2020
    I think a tunnel would raise the level of already serious concerns about Beaufort’s Dyke. The Channel Tunnel (by comparison) is only about a third of that depth.
  • Hugal wrote: »
    News that the government are seriously looking at building a bridge between Northern Ireland and Scotland as Boorish talked about.

    At the very least, surely a tunnel would make more sense ? We have few earthquakes, but many, many storms.

    Reports suggest a plan to split the difference - bridge part of the way then drop it down to an artificial island with a tunnel entrance. Can we not just spend 20% the money on a really decent ferry fleet and use the rest to endow a fund for their future repair and replacement?
  • A good rail bridge, improve the line to Glasgow and construct a line to Carlisle (just in case anyone wants to go to England), with similar rail improvements in Ireland, would be good. Build it all to a specification suitable for HS trains and you eliminate the need for flights from Belfast to Glasgow and Edinburgh, which will help wean us off destroying the planet. A road bridge won't work at all, the roads to Stranraer just aren't suitable for the traffic it would need to be viable.
  • A good rail bridge, improve the line to Glasgow and construct a line to Carlisle (just in case anyone wants to go to England), with similar rail improvements in Ireland, would be good. Build it all to a specification suitable for HS trains and you eliminate the need for flights from Belfast to Glasgow and Edinburgh, which will help wean us off destroying the planet. A road bridge won't work at all, the roads to Stranraer just aren't suitable for the traffic it would need to be viable.

    I think all the proposals are for road and rail on one bridge, aren't they?

    And yes, it did rather strike me that the roads to Stranraer would need quite some significant improvement - the current roads are in several places rather lovely, but are neither particularly fast nor have sufficient capacity.
  • EnochEnoch Shipmate
    A good rail bridge, improve the line to Glasgow and construct a line to Carlisle ....
    There used to be one but it wasn't very fast.

    From most of England, faster boats from Liverpool or faster boats + better roads to Fishguard or Holyhead would look like a better bet.

  • RooKRooK Admin Emeritus
    Can I sell you folks some electric zeppelins?
  • The obvious solution is a rail so high speed that you can launch the carriages up a ramp at Stranraer and have them land at Larne. And vice versa, of course.
  • But this is not really about transport but about not having a border in the Irish Sea, isn't it?
  • la vie en rougela vie en rouge Circus Host, 8th Day Host
    That strikes me as the sort of magical thinking that somehow doesn’t surprise me about Boris.

    Having a rail link doesn’t = no border. When I travel to London or Geneva by train, I have to show my passport before I get on.
  • Unfortunately the rail gauge in Great Britain and most of Western Europe is 4ft 8 1/2 in. In Ireland, North and South it is 5ft 3in. The reason for this is too complicated to explain briefly here, but typically 'Irish'.
  • Bishops FingerBishops Finger Shipmate
    edited February 2020
    I'd spotted that problem, but I daresay The Mad Mophead has a Cunning Plan to get around it.

    Something like this, maybe - Hitler's Breitspurbahn (broad-gauge railway):
    https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Breitspurbahn

    The whole idea has something of a Trumpian Wall air about it...

    Incidentally, the Irish railway gauge was imposed (rather arbitrarily) by the British government, back in the 1840s, because the local companies couldn't agree...
  • In the 19th century there were a variety of gauges used by different railways in Britain (and, the rest of the world). While they were on different routes that were not physically connected this wasn't a problem, but as networks grew it became increasingly necessary to standardise. That the standard adopted in Ireland and the rest of the UK are different isn't all that surprising, as the two networks could never connect. A bit more surprising is that the standard in England, Wales and Scotland is the same as that in the majority of the rest of Europe (Spain and Portugal use a broader gauge), as before the Chunnel there was no connection there either. That decision was made long before the EU existed, so we can't blame the EU bureaucrats for forcing a foreign railway gauge on us
  • Have I Got News For You observed that Mr Johnson is unlikely to succeed in building a bridge between Scotland and Ireland because he couldn't even build one between London and London.
  • The reason the European gauge is the same as the British is that the first steam railways in Europe were designed by British engineers (Robert Stephenson springs to mind), and I believe theire first locomotives were built to British designs.
    For a rail connection to a connection over or under the North Channel to be viable, the line between Carlisle and Portpatrick would need to be reinstated. And there's the little matter of the mustard gas shells dumped in the Beaufort Dyke to be considered. Not to mention the atrocious weather conditions and potential hazard to navigation.
  • And, as observed above, the difference in rail gauges between Greater England, and Ireland (NI and the Republic).

    Railways actually came very early to Ireland (1834 - Dublin & Kingstown, which was 4 feet 8 1/2 inches gauge), and, if they'd stuck to the 'English' gauge, train ferries might have been possible in due course.
    The Rogue wrote: »
    Have I Got News For You observed that Mr Johnson is unlikely to succeed in building a bridge between Scotland and Ireland because he couldn't even build one between London and London.

    Says it all, really.
    :grimace:

    Mind you 'The Bonkers Boris Broad Gauge Bridge' has a certain ring to it, don't you think?
  • DafydDafyd Shipmate
    I have my suspicions that Johnson has been watching The Bridge, decided that the Oeresund Bridge looks nice, and has entirely failed to appreciate the differences between the Oeresund Strait and the Irish Sea.
  • BroJamesBroJames Purgatory Host, 8th Day Host
    Like only 49m deep compared to 200-300m deep, and only 4-28km wide compared to the Irish Sea’s c70km at Stranraer-Larne.
  • The man is a complete fruitloop, interested only in self-aggrandizement.

    There will be Bigly Monuments at each end of the remains of the Bridge (for it will never be completed/fall down/be blown up), bearing The Map Mophead's image in stone (or possibly concrete).

    Beneath the images will be the inscription 'LOOK ON MY WORKS, YE MIGHTY, AND DESPAIR!'.
  • BroJames wrote: »
    Like only 49m deep compared to 200-300m deep, and only 4-28km wide compared to the Irish Sea’s c70km at Stranraer-Larne.

    Maybe they should go Prestwick-Arran-Kintyre-Cushenden? Shorter links and more places connected. Gets you closer to the motorway network too. I suspect folk in Kintyre would value a route out that doesn't involve the Rest and be Fucking Thankful.
  • O don't bother with outdated things like railways (of whatever gauge)!

    BUILD MORE ROADS! So that the Chariots of the Rich and Mighty Evil Overlords can pass ever more swiftly through Their domains, putting Fear, Trembling, etc. etc. into the hearts of the oppressed denizens of Boris Island.

    On a more serious note, whatever does the Scottish government think of The Mad Mophead's plan? Hopefully, by the time he starts to build it (or even think about the £££ involved), Scotland will be independent, and will tell him where to go, and what to do when he gets there...
Sign In or Register to comment.