Strange messages from church

in Heaven
Just received this in an email circulated to our congregation
'xxxxxxx has reported that seagulls are attacking people walking along the front of the church. This probably means they are nesting on the roof. So please be watchful.'
What's the weirdest message you've received from church?
'xxxxxxx has reported that seagulls are attacking people walking along the front of the church. This probably means they are nesting on the roof. So please be watchful.'
What's the weirdest message you've received from church?
Comments
God provides
Coffee Party June 13 9:30
It was not immediately obvious to everyone that it referred to two different events, one being a sermon.
We would like to say a very big thank you to XXX XXX who made us beautiful cross of flowers for our Easter service and was afterwards mounted on the chapel door for everyone one to see and enjoy
I learned later, too, that another member of the congregation, on hearing of my diagnosis, said *We shan't be seeing him again, then*.
It's a salutary experience, finding out what you believed to be good Christian people really think of you.
First I heard of your tumor, @Bishops Finger. Hope everything is doing well, Prayers.
I know this probably isn't what the OPer had in mind, but the message I received from church is that no-one is indispensable.
Yeah, sometimes people really suck. I'm sorry!
pastoral care,
Thanks RR that is the best thing I've read all week. Literally tears of laughter!
I'm so glad it's not just me with a mind permanently in the gutter!
Come to the church potluck.
After the festivities stay so your willies can be cleaned.
A follow up comment.
To clarify, we mean your wellingtons can be cleaned.
We apologize for any offence the previous noticed may have caused.
To which inquiring minds want to know, how do boots fit into a church potluck?
((((Bishops Finger)))))
Massive hugs!!
I am reminded again of a comment by a vicar friend of mine, that while the Church is the Body of Christ, it's not at all clear why He needs so many arseholes.
Priceless!
Love that!
Interesting that that comment often seems to come from clergy. I have heard it from two ministers.
Thank you! On a more Heavenly note, I also received the positive message that some people do care, and a very mixed trio formed themselves into a sort of support group for the time I was in hospital, and for some months afterwards.