Why did I say I'd do it?
Boogie
Heaven Host
in All Saints
I volunteer too easily.
Often I'm not even asked - I just volunteer!
Recently it was to design a leaflet for a special event in town by the historical society. All is done now and they are pleased with it. But why did I say I could do it - they didn't even know it was in my skill set.
I'm relieved now, they've been printed and distributed.
But why did I put myself through the stress?
Anyone else volunteer too easily then ask 'why'?
Often I'm not even asked - I just volunteer!
Recently it was to design a leaflet for a special event in town by the historical society. All is done now and they are pleased with it. But why did I say I could do it - they didn't even know it was in my skill set.
I'm relieved now, they've been printed and distributed.
But why did I put myself through the stress?
Anyone else volunteer too easily then ask 'why'?
Comments
I always think its because I was the sort of child that nobody picked for anything, and I'm trying to make up for it.
I'm glad your leaflet was appreciated @Boogie
I'm trying to sit on my hands. Still do nice things for folk, which I genuinely enjoy, but more as a surprise than things I had to do because I volunteered.
I've made parkin for break time at the hedgehog sanctuary on Friday. That pleases me without the stress!
The label of ‘nearest available sucker’ can be attached early in life…
Not me. No clergy anywhere near the family.
I am a ministers daughter. Yep - many jobs done by family, especially me and my grandma!
I did draw the line at being asked to come and lead singing of GSTQ for the Queen's diamond jubilee celebration.
And yes, vicarage kid.
You didn't fancy channeling Johnny Rotten then?
I've perfected this art over the years, partly because I have limited capacity in what I'm able to do and partly because I am married to someone immensely competent who does lots of things, and does them very well, but overcommits. I have several friends that I have to keep reminding that "'No' is a complete sentence" and "Just because you can do something doesn't mean you should."
And no, not a clergy child.
And I was not a clergy child; I didn’t even have a Christian family or upbringing.
My father was a lay reader with a strong sense of duty which must have influenced me.
LKKspouse is a clergy kid, has left religion, but keeps volunteering for things. Like her childhood, our house often has people in need staying. Our latest, a house fire victim, has just left.
Parental home influence probably was a key driver in her becoming a social worker.
I think it's fine to volunteer if it is a event or a cause one feels passionate about (after a couple of burns) I am mindful of whether it is my skillset or something I want to learn, If those boxes are ticked then I'll put up my hand to volunteer before being asked, or say I'll think about it (with an agreed report back time/date), otherwise no and I refuse to be guilted about things any more.
I think it's important to factor in whether it's a one off or a job for life (as can sometimes happen).
My Mum was a great volunteer and it gave her much joy and meaning in her life. I think that's the real yardstick. Doing things with joy!
I also have a huge aversion to rotas and have resolutely fended off going on any at all. I'll do things as one-offs, or for a season, but there's something about being regularly tied in to it that gets under my skin and not in a good way.
While awake in the night I was also thinking about this thread (as you do
Or I might not.
Nen - Resident Grumpy Old Woman
🙂
"Oh Mary, do come and roll pancakes for the annual agricultural show, it will be such FUN. Easier than pounding yams for egusi soup, easier than crisping samoosas in boiling oil, easier than stirring a Cape Malay curry in a cast-iron pot for two hours without pause, easier than grilling braaibroodjies (toasted sandwiches) over coals. It wouldn't be the same without you! Fun, fun, fun!"
Came home after seven hours in the 9th circle of the Inferno with fingertips scalding red and a new loathing for cinnamon mixed with rapidly caramelising sugar. Sunk in profound misanthropy, realised yet again how easily flattered I can be.
I had a friend who often declined to do something because he said he would be out of town. I finally realized his house was just 50 yards out of the city limits. He was always out of town.
It's partly because I don't feel that I'm very good at it: you feel so exposed sitting up at the front beside the altar where everyone can see if you bollocks something up*; and partly because I feel that I'm far more useful sitting with the choir, where I know I can make a decent contribution.
I was really getting to the stage of dreading seeing my name on the list, and while I'm still happy to be considered a "spare" (emergencies only), I really don't want to have to do it every four or five weeks.
* As St Pete's is such a tiny building, the people in the front row are no more than about six feet away from the server, so they can see everything.
The sin of "Sod 'em!"?
If you are being told that, that is church abuse! In my denomination ministers always have the right to turn down a new call, and specifically it is often because they do not feel the Spirit is calling them to that ministry. If ministers can do this, lay people also have the right to turn down a request because the Spirit is not leading them there.
I did voluntary work for a major organisation for many years. Post-Covid, we worked from home, but when Mr Puzzler became ill I paused and only resumed briefly, stopping completely when he died. I simply did not have the headspace for it. I then realised that technology and regulations were constantly changing and I decided not to restart. I eventually wrote an official email of resignation to the boss, who I had never actually met in person. I am sad to say that she did not reply. It would have been good to get official recognition of almost 15 years of commitment, two days a week.
That is appalling! I'm lost for polite words.
Not to mention making the Baby Jesus and His Blessed Mother cry.
I am always shocked when I hear of organisations which don't appreciate their volunteers properly as I used to work for a charity which couldn't have done what it did without its volunteers. I think we were pretty good at acknowledging and thanking them but once or twice I did have to say to colleagues, "But these people are giving their time..."
Quite so. Is clearly Outrage!
When someone asks me to give a talk - in this case to a local history group - I should NOT offer to talk on whatever topic I fancy researching. Inevitably the date of the talk rolls round before I have done anything., and I find myself sitting at my computer on a beautiful Sunday afternoon, mainlining coffee and left-over Hallowe'en sweeties trying to throw something together.
Next time I MUST offer up a talk I've already given to the WRI etc.
You clearly enjoy new subjects so maybe do them without the pressure? Or do you need a deadline? (I do)
This week I may (or maybe not) have to make two speeches. I'm putting off doing anything about it till I know one way or another.