"Do you want to build a snowman?" and "Let it go" are songs from the film.
I've never seen it. My kids hate anything to do with Disney princesses and that.
Ah. Thank you. That I hadn't picked up as I haven't seen the film. That turns the joke from just mystifying to one that's quite a good riposte to those that are in the know.
I went to the doctor.
I told the receptionist I keep turning invisible.
She rang through and said, 'The invisible man's outside'.
He said, 'Tell him I can't see him.'
I went in and said, 'Doctor, I keep turning invisible'
He said, 'Who said that?'
Ty bach = little house in Welsh, i.e. privy out the back.
I did gather as much.
He's imagining the florid flattery with which he will greet her, and he hopes impress her.
I gathered that too.
Finally, there is the deflationary letdown, of what he blurts out of his mouth, factually correct but using a word a male suitor is not supposed to use to his beloved.
It in part turns on incongruity. <<snip>> Does that help explain it for you?
Perfectly. Incongruous, perhaps, but a gentleman noting to a lady that she's just taken a kashitsky? Not funny.
Only if you know (or care) who Dominic Commings is, or think that breaking lockdown is funny.
Ah Amanda, I’m afraid that British humour is often dark and quirky.Just different
The Welsh one about the young man talking to his young lady on the karzi, had me chuckling for hours.
Here’s another
What does Trump have for Christmas dinner?
A super spread!
That was shared with me today, by a friend who almost died of COVID this year.
(Stop me if I've told this one before ...) ... (No, don't, because I want to tell it again anyway ...) ... Two penguins on an ice floe: "You look like you're wearing a tuxedo ..." ... "Who says I'm not ... ???"
Did you ever wonder why you don't see dead penguins lying around on the ice?
I only just found out that this is because penguins have a special ritual when one of them dies.
When a penguin dies, the other penguins use their beaks and flippers to excavate a hole in the ice. They can spend hours or even days doing this, even in snow and wind. When they are finished, they carefully push the penguin's body into the hole.
Then they all gather around and sing, "Freeze a jolly good fellow..."
Shapiro the tailor, as poor as poor can be, was praying in synagogue. "Lord, I have been your faithful servant all my life. Could I ask of you one favor? Could you show me the way out of poverty?"
"Cut wide lapels!" boomed a voice from high up in the ceiling.
Shapiro, amazed, rushed back to his tailor shop and cut a line of suits with wide lapels. No sooner had he displayed one in his window than a queue formed that soon stretched around the block. Shapiro sold out his line of wide-lapel suits in a matter of hours, and could scarcely carry the satchel of money to the bank, it was so full and so heavy with cash.
But he managed, and then went back to the synagogue. "Lord, I give you thanks for showing me the way out of poverty. You have made me a rich man. I'd like to show my gratitude by making you a partner in my tailor shop. I'm thinking of calling it God and Shapiro. What do you think?"
"Call it Lord and Tailor!" the high-ceilinged voice boomed back.
Reminding me of how you catch a penguin. You make a depression in the ice (make sure it doesn't go through or he'll just swim away). You sprinkle canned (tinned) peas around it. Then when the penguin comes to take a pea, kick him in the ice hole.
I was so puzzled by that one that I googled "Lord and Tailor" to discover that's the name of a well known multiple in the US, spelt differently, which has just folded. I may not be the only one who doesn't get it.
Their main store was one of the major department stores on Fifth Avenue in New York City (my sister worked there for a few months back in the 1970s). But one by one, those stores seem to have been closing, even before the pandemic.
The perfect man and perfect woman went out for a drive in their perfect car one perfect Christmas eve. Suddenly a perfect snowstorm arose, and driving got perfectly awful!
Just then they saw Santa Claus stranded by the side of the road. Pulling over, they rolled down the window and asked, "Hey, Santa, what's the matter?" Santa replied, "My reindeer can't see to pull my sleigh because of this storm. Can you folks give me a ride so I can finish delivering these presents?" "Sure, hop in!" they replied.
So Santa loaded his sack of toys into the trunk of their perfect car (it fit perfectly), hopped in the back seat, and off they drove.
But suddenly they hit a perfect patch of ice, and the car skidded off the road and crashed into a perfect tree. They were all killed . . . except one. Who?
Answer: The woman. Why?
Answer: Because there's no such thing as Santa Claus or the perfect man.
[If you're a woman, stop reading here. If you're a man, read on .]
Which means . . . that the woman was driving, which is why they had the accident.
An old fashioned and PC incorrect joke: A couple of Irishmen were out looking for work, and saw a sign for 'Tree fellers'. "Dats a pity, Paddy", one of the said, "Dere's only two of us".
Role on the festive season ... I feel a thread coming on, ' Share your favourite Christmas cracker jokes'. Only this thread would be in Hell!
A blind man stumbles into a lesbian bar. "Who wants to hear a dumb blonde joke?" he calls out.
The place falls dead silent.
"Listen, buddy!" the bartender finally says. "The lady to your right is a 500 pound sumo wrestler, and she's a blonde. The lady to your left drives a Mack truck, and she's a blonde. And I'm a former Miss Bodybuilding Champ, and I'm a blonde. Now, do you still want to tell that dumb blonde joke?"
"Well, not if I have to explain it three times," the blind man replied.
A blind man stumbles into a lesbian bar. "Who wants to hear a dumb blonde joke?" he calls out.
The place falls dead silent.
"Listen, buddy!" the bartender finally says. "The lady to your right is a 500 pound sumo wrestler, and she's a blonde. The lady to your left drives a Mack truck, and she's a blonde. And I'm a former Miss Bodybuilding Champ, and I'm a blonde. Now, do you still want to tell that dumb blonde joke?"
"Well, not if I have to explain it three times," the blind man replied.
I thought it might be unclear to non-Americans, but several jokes upthread were clear only to Brits, I believe.
Ouch, not quite fair Amanda.
Up thread discussions were about the different types of humour.
Your joke seemed a good one, it was just that the punchline made no sense if you had no knowledge of US dept stores.
Once it was explained it made sense, and the humour could be appreciated. But by then of course, the buildup was lost, and the punch had no impact.
In a Jewish village, the baker met the butcher. The butcher asked how the baker was doing.
'Let me tell you about my troubles. My only son has become a Christian; he's left the village for the big city; he's abandoned the traditions of our ancestors; and he's bringing down my hairs in sorrow to the grave.'
The butcher said,
'Your only son's become a Christian? Let me tell you about my troubles. My only son has become a Christian; he's left the village for the big city; he's abandoned the traditions of our ancestors; and he's bringing down my hairs in sorrow to the grave.'
'What shall we do?' said the baker.
'I know,' said the butcher. 'Let us speak to the Rabbi. He is the wisest in our generation. He will know what to do.'
So they went to speak to the Rabbi, and said,
'Our only sons have abandoned the traditions of their ancestors and become Christians. What shall we do?'
And the Rabbi replied,
'Your only sons have become Christians? Let me tell you about my troubles. My only son has become a Christian; he's left the village for the big city; he's abandoned the traditions of our ancestors; and he's bringing down my hairs in sorrow to the grave.'
'What shall we do?' asked the butcher and the baker.
'I know,' said the Rabbi. 'We shall pray to the Lord and the Lord will tell us what to do.'
So they prayed, 'Our only sons have abandoned the traditions of their ancestors and become Christians. Lord, what shall we do?'
And there came a great whirlwind, and the Lord answered them,
'Your only sons have become Christians? Let me tell you about my troubles....'
Perhaps, then, this thread should be renamed "Let's Tell/Share Some (Good) Jokes that Fit Our Definition of Humour."
Not at all. Quite the opposite. I actually said that your joke was a good one. The story was built up, the characterisation was believable. The punch was funny and effective. ( once I understood it).Have heard many jokes in similar vein. Just that because I didn’t understand the specific references it might as well have been in another language to my ears. Nothing to do with the definition of humour.
Comments
I told the receptionist I keep turning invisible.
She rang through and said, 'The invisible man's outside'.
He said, 'Tell him I can't see him.'
I went in and said, 'Doctor, I keep turning invisible'
He said, 'Who said that?'
It's funny because it's not funny. That's funny.
There was no zoom at the inn
What’s Dominic Cummings’ favourite Christmas song?
“Driving home for Christmas “.
Ah Amanda, I’m afraid that British humour is often dark and quirky.Just different
The Welsh one about the young man talking to his young lady on the karzi, had me chuckling for hours.
Here’s another
What does Trump have for Christmas dinner?
A super spread!
That was shared with me today, by a friend who almost died of COVID this year.
😊
A: Small world!
A. Unforeseen circumstances.
Now you’re not telling me that’s a coincidence
A. Because it's too cold outtide.
Did you ever wonder why you don't see dead penguins lying around on the ice?
I only just found out that this is because penguins have a special ritual when one of them dies.
When a penguin dies, the other penguins use their beaks and flippers to excavate a hole in the ice. They can spend hours or even days doing this, even in snow and wind. When they are finished, they carefully push the penguin's body into the hole.
Then they all gather around and sing, "Freeze a jolly good fellow..."
Shapiro the tailor, as poor as poor can be, was praying in synagogue. "Lord, I have been your faithful servant all my life. Could I ask of you one favor? Could you show me the way out of poverty?"
"Cut wide lapels!" boomed a voice from high up in the ceiling.
Shapiro, amazed, rushed back to his tailor shop and cut a line of suits with wide lapels. No sooner had he displayed one in his window than a queue formed that soon stretched around the block. Shapiro sold out his line of wide-lapel suits in a matter of hours, and could scarcely carry the satchel of money to the bank, it was so full and so heavy with cash.
But he managed, and then went back to the synagogue. "Lord, I give you thanks for showing me the way out of poverty. You have made me a rich man. I'd like to show my gratitude by making you a partner in my tailor shop. I'm thinking of calling it God and Shapiro. What do you think?"
"Call it Lord and Tailor!" the high-ceilinged voice boomed back.
Just then they saw Santa Claus stranded by the side of the road. Pulling over, they rolled down the window and asked, "Hey, Santa, what's the matter?" Santa replied, "My reindeer can't see to pull my sleigh because of this storm. Can you folks give me a ride so I can finish delivering these presents?" "Sure, hop in!" they replied.
So Santa loaded his sack of toys into the trunk of their perfect car (it fit perfectly), hopped in the back seat, and off they drove.
But suddenly they hit a perfect patch of ice, and the car skidded off the road and crashed into a perfect tree. They were all killed . . . except one. Who?
Answer: The woman. Why?
Answer: Because there's no such thing as Santa Claus or the perfect man.
[If you're a woman, stop reading here. If you're a man, read on .]
Which means . . . that the woman was driving, which is why they had the accident.
Yeah ... Let's have some more good old fashioned "Three [............] went into a bar ..." jokes ...
Role on the festive season ... I feel a thread coming on, ' Share your favourite Christmas cracker jokes'. Only this thread would be in Hell!
You go first.
Chap goes for a job on a building site, but the foreman is suspicious of his knowledge of the trade.
'Tell me, what's the difference between a joist and a girder?'
'Oh dat's aisy. Joyce wrote Ulysses and Goethe wrote Faust'
The place falls dead silent.
"Listen, buddy!" the bartender finally says. "The lady to your right is a 500 pound sumo wrestler, and she's a blonde. The lady to your left drives a Mack truck, and she's a blonde. And I'm a former Miss Bodybuilding Champ, and I'm a blonde. Now, do you still want to tell that dumb blonde joke?"
"Well, not if I have to explain it three times," the blind man replied.
The rabbit says "I'm just a typo aren't I?"
Uh oh
YES ... That's what we want ...
for the perfect man...
I have nearly been kidnapped three times.
Ha ha, the best for several pages
Ouch, not quite fair Amanda.
Up thread discussions were about the different types of humour.
Your joke seemed a good one, it was just that the punchline made no sense if you had no knowledge of US dept stores.
Once it was explained it made sense, and the humour could be appreciated. But by then of course, the buildup was lost, and the punch had no impact.
'Let me tell you about my troubles. My only son has become a Christian; he's left the village for the big city; he's abandoned the traditions of our ancestors; and he's bringing down my hairs in sorrow to the grave.'
The butcher said,
'Your only son's become a Christian? Let me tell you about my troubles. My only son has become a Christian; he's left the village for the big city; he's abandoned the traditions of our ancestors; and he's bringing down my hairs in sorrow to the grave.'
'What shall we do?' said the baker.
'I know,' said the butcher. 'Let us speak to the Rabbi. He is the wisest in our generation. He will know what to do.'
So they went to speak to the Rabbi, and said,
'Our only sons have abandoned the traditions of their ancestors and become Christians. What shall we do?'
And the Rabbi replied,
'Your only sons have become Christians? Let me tell you about my troubles. My only son has become a Christian; he's left the village for the big city; he's abandoned the traditions of our ancestors; and he's bringing down my hairs in sorrow to the grave.'
'What shall we do?' asked the butcher and the baker.
'I know,' said the Rabbi. 'We shall pray to the Lord and the Lord will tell us what to do.'
So they prayed, 'Our only sons have abandoned the traditions of their ancestors and become Christians. Lord, what shall we do?'
And there came a great whirlwind, and the Lord answered them,
'Your only sons have become Christians? Let me tell you about my troubles....'
Not at all. Quite the opposite. I actually said that your joke was a good one. The story was built up, the characterisation was believable. The punch was funny and effective. ( once I understood it).Have heard many jokes in similar vein. Just that because I didn’t understand the specific references it might as well have been in another language to my ears. Nothing to do with the definition of humour.
Yeah, Lord & Taylor's never made it to the Pacific Northwest. Bon Marche never made it to the East Coast.
And then they got bought out by #$&(@ Macy's.
What happened when Simon Cowell took Viagra
He grew taller
*naughty*