Heaven: Ship's Eurovision Song Contest

HugalHugal Shipmate
edited January 16 in Limbo
As promised on the old ship I am reviving the Ship's Eurovision Song Contest in honour of the new ship. For those who have never done it before and those who have forgotten here's how it goes.

Gill H has volunteered to be the comentator who introduces the show and the acts and comments along the way (nepotism in Eurovision? Perish the thought). We could do with a volunteer to do the maths and give the scores - anyone interested?

The idea is you pick a country. Here is a link to this year's participating countries in the real contest https://eurovision.tv/participants

Once you have picked a country you write an entry and you post it. Have fun with this. Play up to the stereotypes if you wish, and enjoy. In previous years we have also had countries post the equivalent of the little film to introduce their entry, but that can slow things down, so only songs this year please.

Once all entries have posted, we all vote following the usual Eurovision system. You can award entries in your favourite order 1-8 points, then 10 points, and your favourite 12 points. The winner is the song with the most points.

I will give till Thursday (3 May) for people to pick their countries. Then I will announce the entries and we can start on the Friday. This means we have a chance to get going before the real thing starts.
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Comments

  • MiffyMiffy Shipmate
    It’s been so long! My inner song-writer isn’t as inspired as she used to be and I’ve less time than I used to have.
    Which country to choose? In the past I’ve done Switzerland, Austria, Sweden I think, Spain and something involving Morris dancers and pre-Raphaelite maidens. Goodness knows where they came from?

    Hmmm... I’ll go for Denmark, land of hygge please.

    Hugal, are Tierry et Practice coming out of retirement?

  • KarlLBKarlLB Shipmate
    Oh dear. Just heard the UK entry for the first time. Dire. But what do I know? Every year the one or two I hate least come nowhere.

    I still say (yeah, I know, you know, but it's still true) the last decent entry was Lordi. And, my dear naysayers, recall they actually won.
  • ClimacusClimacus Shipmate
    I see Norway's Alex is back. And my own Oz has at least chosen someone with talent.

    I usually wait to the show to hear the numbers live and be enthralled/shocked/appalled/amazed. I like to be surprised. But happy to forego this for Hugal's Wonderful Eurovision Extravaganza.

    Georgia or Iceland....my two favourite places visited. Let's go Georgia.
  • HugalHugal Shipmate
    Ok I will be France. T and P will return.
  • MiffyMiffy Shipmate
    You’ll doubtless be thrilled to learn that for the contestant for Denmark, Eurovision runs in the family. Hels-Bels Alpenhom, radical feminist theologian, activist and doctoral student in architectural studies at the University of Jutland is hoping that Euro 2018 will give her her big break.

    For all you Eurovision fans out there- Hel’s name may ring a bell...
  • HugalHugal Shipmate
    Any one else time is running out.
  • MiffyMiffy Shipmate
    KarlLB wrote: »
    Oh dear. Just heard the UK entry for the first time. Dire. But what do I know? Every year the one or two I hate least come nowhere.

    I still say (yeah, I know, you know, but it's still true) the last decent entry was Lordi. And, my dear naysayers, recall they actually won.

    Karl, I make a point of never listening to the UK entry. It’s too embarrassing. :(

    Lordi though...well... :smiley:

    I’d like to think that Hels, (if she ever gets to perform) draws on Lordi as her inspiration. Who knows? Today SOF, tomorrow Greenbelt headliner!

    Even better...Lordi as Greenbelt headliner.

  • WildHaggisWildHaggis Shipmate
    I can't understand how Israel and Australia are in Europe? Someone should tell Mrs May!

    Eurovision music is dire. I think O level music students could do better, Mind you it is funny.
  • MiffyMiffy Shipmate
    Yes, true, but there comes a point when it becomes so dire it enters the realms of ultimate cheesiness, doesn’t it?

    Which reminds me- are you volunteering to represent Scotland? I mean, you can’t get much cheesier than kilts, bagpipes and haggis, can you!

    If a certain someone can get to the top of the charts with a song like the sound of a thousand flatulent elephants, I sure you can manage something...anything... :smile:
  • We just got back from Catalonia, so we'll go for Spain!
  • Gill HGill H Shipmate
    For those who weren't around for previous Ship Eurovisions (and I can recall at least two), here's one from 2005 which is still around on the old Ship.

    Ship of Fools does Eurovision

    Hope this gives you some inspiration.

    Anyone else want to sign up? We can extend the deadline. We were hoping to get it started before the real thing kicks off on Tuesday - but perhaps watching the real one will spark people's creativity!

    So the new deadline to sign up and choose a country is next Friday, 11 May.


  • MiffyMiffy Shipmate
    Ah good news! Hel’s lyricist is in need of inspiration just now. Though one certainty is that her performance should involve a lot of shouting.

    As said lyricist is even now heading up to a day on Shadow work, it does speak volumes about the state of our contestant’s inner self. :smile:
  • HugalHugal Shipmate
    How does Monday or Tuesday sound?
  • HugalHugal Shipmate
    Wild Haggis countries have to be members of the European Broadcasting Union not necessarily European. Australia has shown the contest for a long long time.
  • lilbuddhalilbuddha Shipmate
    I need Gill H. commentary to make sense of what I have seen thus far. Palm trees on a Polish beach? Dance fighting whilst Dougie Howser sings?
    Gill H!
  • MiffyMiffy Shipmate
    Hugal wrote: »
    Wild Haggis countries have to be members of the European Broadcasting Union not necessarily European. Australia has shown the contest for a long long time.
    Hugal, so deadline for signup Fri 11th, performances Mon or Tues 14 or 15 May then?

    I await Wild Haggis’s performance of “Donald, whaurs yer troosers ?” complete with backing group of skirling haggi, with bated breath.

    My breath, naturally; holding breath and skirling could lead to ‘interesting ‘ consequences!

  • MiffyMiffy Shipmate
    lilbuddha wrote: »
    I need Gill H. commentary to make sense of what I have seen thus far. Palm trees on a Polish beach? Dance fighting whilst Dougie Howser sings?
    Gill H!

    Since when has Eurovision ever made sense? Think of it as a paradox of opposites.

  • lilbuddhalilbuddha Shipmate
    Miffy wrote: »
    lilbuddha wrote: »
    I need Gill H. commentary to make sense of what I have seen thus far. Palm trees on a Polish beach? Dance fighting whilst Dougie Howser sings?
    Gill H!

    Since when has Eurovision ever made sense? Think of it as a paradox of opposites.
    True, but Gill H puts the madness into a context the brain can process.

  • MiffyMiffy Shipmate
    I’m having enough problems processing the madness of the Real life Dainish entry. A real ear worm and every time I think up a bright idea for the Ship contest, they go one better. :neutral:
  • HugalHugal Shipmate
    I thought this Monday. You will have all week to post. However if people want to wait we could, but I think it would be good to get started.
  • Gill HGill H Shipmate
    Of course, all of us will be watching the real one next week (Tuesday, Thursday and Saturday) which on the one hand gives us, um, creative inspiration, but on the other, takes up a lot of time.

    The final word from our esteemed host: the deadline is now Wednesday. No more extensions! Please do sign up and choose a country, we need more Ship madness.

    We'll announce the list on Thursday and people can start posting their entries as soon as they like then.

  • jedijudyjedijudy Heaven Host
    Even though I only know the Eurovision Song Contest through the Ship, I shall pick Georgia! It's my closest neighbor, and I'll be there in a few days.

    Oh. Not that Georgia??? :wink:
  • MiffyMiffy Shipmate
    jedijudy wrote: »
    Even though I only know the Eurovision Song Contest through the Ship, I shall pick Georgia! It's my closest neighbor, and I'll be there in a few days.

    Oh. Not that Georgia??? :wink:

    I shouldn’t worry. It’ll all add to the mayhem. Don’t forget, this is the place where the Archangel Gabriel forgot to turn up for the Annunciation! ;)

    Off now to poke the Danish lyricist in the ribs with a sharp stick
  • Gill HGill H Shipmate
    Georgia (the European one) has been taken already though.

    Australia muscled their way into the real contest a couple of years ago, so I don’t see why the US can’t enter our version. Maybe bring a Floridian twist to the proceedings?
  • MiffyMiffy Shipmate
    Ah me...shades of the past! :neutral: (Don’t know how to do a weepy smilie).
  • HugalHugal Shipmate
    The very last day is tomorrow. Judy an American entry may be fun.
  • jedijudyjedijudy Heaven Host
    I wonder if the Matlacha Oyster Shuckers might be a worthy candidate? If people don't mind the fishy smell, that is!

    They use forty pound test fishing line on some of their instruments.
  • MiffyMiffy Shipmate
    jedijudy wrote: »
    I wonder if the Matlacha Oyster Shuckers might be a worthy candidate? If people don't mind the fishy smell, that is!

    They use forty pound test fishing line on some of their instruments.

    It’s a Ship’s Eurovision, Judy. Anything goes. :smile:

    Pondering how I can be out tonight whilst simultaneously trying to infiltrate all the other boards with subliminal messages encouraging folk to SIGN UP!


  • HugalHugal Shipmate
    Yep Judy go for it
  • MiffyMiffy Shipmate
    Now I know our esteemed hosts say no promo videos, but I’m sure they won’t mind a quick update on Denmark’s progress so far.

    Poor Hels is incubating a cold. She’s also at a crucial stage with her thesis: The Ark- an exploration of Patriarchy and the Construction Trade in The Book of Exodus So she’s not yet had a chance to work with her new backing group, Hyggemen Bjorn, Olaf and Eric.

    But her agent assures her that their unique mix of dark and brooding Viking meets Lordi with a touch of Heathcliff thrown in are the perfect complement to her song, Enter The Battleground! Building Blocks of Gender Equity in Our European Future
  • balaambalaam Shipmate
    Gill H wrote: »
    Of course, all of us will be watching the real one next week (Tuesday, Thursday and Saturday) which on the one hand gives us, um, creative inspiration, but on the other, takes up a lot of time.

    The final word from our esteemed host: the deadline is now Wednesday. No more extensions! Please do sign up and choose a country, we need more Ship madness.

    We'll announce the list on Thursday and people can start posting their entries as soon as they like then.

    Just got in. Belarus please,
  • balaambalaam Shipmate
    Hoping Belarus has not gone, or Francysk Zapparyna would not be able to make the show.

    Who would want to miss the song "псальма"*, a song of medicine, theology and goats.

    ___

    *For the hosts/admins that is pronounced Psalma, and means Psalm.
  • HugalHugal Shipmate
    Ok today is the last and final day. Tomorrow we start.
  • HugalHugal Shipmate
    Over heard in the French entries office. (Translated) “why do we never win this thing any more”. “Win? It would be nice to be on the left hand side of the board”. “OK drastic action required. Call in the artists, and tell them to keep their clothes on this time”.
  • HugalHugal Shipmate
    Overheard in the French team office (translated) “Right lads. We put a lot of money into this thing. Here is the new song, go learn the choreography. And next time wear more than a mankini
  • MiffyMiffy Shipmate
    balaam wrote: »
    Hoping Belarus has not gone, or Francysk Zapparyna would not be able to make the show.

    Who would want to miss the song "псальма"*, a song of medicine, theology and goats.

    ___


    ___

    *For the hosts/admins that is pronounced Psalma, and means Psalm.

    Unless they’d prefer to listen to an epic saga of destruction, theology and dancing cows. :wink:

  • Gill HGill H Shipmate
    Good evening, bon soir, g'day and howdy to all our international viewers. May I introduce myself? I am Angela Ripoff, your host for the 2018 Ship Eurovision Song Contest.

    May I welcome you to the venue for this epic contest, the recently remodelled Ship of Fools. Marvel with me at her amazing bulwarks. No, bulwarks. As you can see, over here is the port side, while over there is the GIN side. And in the middle, they're a rum lot.

    It gives me great pleasure ... but maybe later. Meanwhile, here is the final list of entries for the competition:

    Denmark
    Georgia
    France
    Spain
    US

    There are also rumours of a possible Scottish entry, although they will need to have a referendum on it first.

    So, ladies, gentlemen and seadogs, settle back and enjoy a nail-biting contest. After which we'll have a nose-picking contest. I'm afraid the interval act has taken all our funding tonight.

    Are there any more late entries?


  • MiffyMiffy Shipmate
    Hugal wrote: »
    Overheard in the French team office (translated) “Right lads. We put a lot of money into this thing. Here is the new song, go learn the choreography. And next time wear more than a mankini

    Hah! So it’s not just the Hyggemen who are going to busk it, then?

  • balaambalaam Shipmate
    The Belarus contingent has arrived, late and panting. After recent results no one had told them how far it was to Portugal. No one fully understands their language, but snippets of conversation between them seem to include phrases such as "12 guarenteed from Ukraine but none from Russia." The word goat also seems to be repeated, but no one knows why.
  • MiffyMiffy Shipmate
    Message from Hels, who is having problems with her coding.

    Errr...I’m still polishing my lyrics trying to track down the Hygge men and have to take Freya, our team mascot to the vets. Can my performance wait until Friday evening?
  • MiffyMiffy Shipmate
  • MiffyMiffy Shipmate
    Bjorn...Olaf, Eric!!! Get over here pronto! :(
  • Hels and Bjorn? There seems to be some glitch in the coding that takes out the colon when people try to add urls.
  • MiffyMiffy Shipmate
    Hels and Bjorn? There seems to be some glitch in the coding that takes out the colon when people try to add urls.

    It is indeed! :) But having spent half the afternoon since I got in wrestling with the Eurostar e voucher system and half the evening practising coding in the Styx, (whilst trying to stop my own resident hygge man from posting my I pad out of the window), I think my alter ego needs to retire with a stiff drink.

    Off to channel my inner Viking. See you all tomorrow.


  • Gill HGill H Shipmate
    Good evening again lovely audience. Belarus, you are more than welcome. Please take a moment to freshen up before you join us.

    The revised lineup is now:

    Denmark
    Georgia
    France
    Spain
    US
    Belarus

  • balaambalaam Shipmate
    Rumour has it that a goat has been seen wandering about backstage.
  • ClimacusClimacus Shipmate
    The Georgians, who have been downing some fine Georgian wine, are relieved to know the goat is real and not an effect of a blood alcohol reading of 0.8.

    Now has anyone seen a salamuri*?

    *wind instrument
  • MiffyMiffy Shipmate
    Wind instrument?? Sorry! My mind was still with the goat.

    One of the hygge men has smuggled in an old alpenhorn. I can pinch it for you if you like...for a price.
  • MiffyMiffy Shipmate
    Back in leg I mean Euro land, consternation reigns over the continued absence of Bjorn, Olaf and Eric. Nobody seems to know where they’ve gone. (Though Hels Bels has her suspicions: on account of the mounting pile of empty bottles outside the Georgian green room.)

    Not to mention waves of racous laughter mingled with what sounds like a herd of flatulent elephants.

    Meanwhile, a mysterious gentleman presents his pass at security. His name? Dr Magnus Olsensen, director of the Institute of Well-being, Aarhus, and celebrated author of Say Ja to Hygge , here in his (unofficial) capacity as cultural advisor to the Danish entry.

    Sounds of conviviality floating across the hallway catch the good Doctor’s attention. His finely-honed sense of well-being alerted, he strides purposely forward. Luckily, he’s brought a plentiful supply of Glogg and cakes with him.

    With a smile on his face and a song in his heart, Dr Olsensen makes his way towards the Georgian green room...




  • MiffyMiffy Shipmate
    Err...are we off then? (I need my life back). Ok, here we go.
    Ladies and Gentlemen, mesdames et messieurs, Damen und Hairies: Le voila le entry du Danenark, land of Vikings, lego, and...more lego This evening, we are proud to present to you, Hels Bels Alpenhom and her Hygge Men, Bjorn, Olaf and Eric singing: Enter the Battleground!



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