A most agreeable Spring day here. We went to church, then came home to the ragu and Italian wine we didn't have the other day. After that I went to the polling station with Captain Pyjamas (Paris mayoral election). If you take your child they let them put the envelope in the box, which the Captain quite likes. We spent the rest of the afternoon pulling up weeds in the garden. It's been so mild and wet that it was looking distinctly junglish. I am going to count votes later. I find it quite fun in a geeky sort of way.
I'm in a rather odd need of spiritual guidance. I heard via Farcebark today that the former Dean of Belfast, who got rid of David (not before causing him rather a lot of stress), has died.
I can't mourn his loss, but I wouldn't emulate Trump's utterly vile response to Mr Mueller's death either. I shall pray for his wife and family (whom I didn't really know), but I think it would be insincere of me to pray for his soul. If Heaven is a "place of many mansions", then I hope he's in a different one from David.
So far I've followed my mother's advice: if you can't say anything nice, say nothing.
No, you are being human. I understand your reservations, and I think you are quite appropriate in making a quick prayer for his family.
I agree with that.
It's been another sunny day here and our local church holding services only twice a month we accordingly went to a church in a nearby town, where a couple of people we know go. Mr Nen was in a youth group with the wife several decades ago in Kent. The people there made us very welcome - so many people stopped us to chat after the service we almost missed the coffee (and I was desperate for a cup by then).
We spent the afternoon chasing boxes and furniture round the house in an effort to make at least a couple of the rooms look more like a place people live in and less like a collection of storage units. We succeeded in the (large) lounge and now have one end of it set up with sofa and TV and the other end with two armchairs and coffee table looking out of the front (large) windows - which have new curtains which we're very pleased with.
I agree with @Sandemaniac as well @piglet.
Glad you are settling in nicely @nenya and glad you are finding welcoming churches in your new neighbourhood.
My husband came home just before 1.00 having been trying to sort out the Meeting House's Wi-Fi which he succeeded in doing. We then set of for the transport museum. My husband was thinking of taking his photography 'out and about' group to it, but fascinating though it would be to old car and bus geeks it wasn't very photogenic. It wasn't really my thing either. I like the social history side of transport and can spend hours looking at old timetables, facts about the different classes of vehicles and the engines they had, not so much. We had time afterwards to go to a local garden centre to buy some plants to fill a gap where things have either died or been moved and some ericaceous compost so I can pot up the camellia our son bought me for Mothering Sunday.
I was intending to serve a Nice Meal for his return. Having found mixed beef and pork mince not long ago, I wanted to make a proper ragu sauce cooked for four hours.
Would love your ragu recipe.
Had a distinctly better quality pasta Bolognese when we stayed for a week in Bologna. It seems that our local bolognese offerings are just trading on the name, rather than the cuisine/cucina.
If I may back up the thread to Piglet, some good advice I heard from a good friend who is a social worker (and a Christian), forgiveness shouldn't necessarily be a reflex action. We need time to work through the debris and allow healing to begin before we reach the point where we can forgive genuinely, which may take considerable time. Like Piglet, I have instances in my own life where this has not been easy and continues to test me.
I have kept two reflections on forgiveness which can be of help, though I don't say they are the last word, and there are some situations where people have found them not enough.
Forgiveness
by Gordon Atkinson
Forgiveness is the healing of wounds caused by another. You choose to let go of a past wrong and no longer be hurt by it. Forgiveness is a strong move to make, like turning your shoulders sideways to walk quickly on a crowded sidewalk.
It’s your move.
It really doesn’t matter if the person who hurt you deserves to be forgiven. Forgiveness is a gift you give yourself. You have things to do and you want to move on with your life. You can’t forget, of course. That’s not even possible. But forgiving has nothing to do with forgetting. You should remember everything and learn from it. Forgiving is a goodness in the middle of remembering.
Above all, forgiveness is a series of choices you make.
You choose not to seek revenge or fantasize about it. You choose not to talk badly about the person who hurt you or wish evil for them. You choose to let go of your anger and not to feed upon it. Shedding anger takes time and practice, so you begin by choosing to move in that direction. If you are strong enough you can choose to wish that person well.
If these choices seem impossible to you, you might start by choosing to pray for the person who wronged you. And it’s completely okay to pray for someone even if you don’t think God exists.
You should be quiet about your forgiveness, except with close friends. If you need to tell the story, you have not fully arrived. Choose not to tell the story until you no longer want to.
One last thing. Forgiveness does not always lead to a healed relationship. Some people are not capable of love and, in fact, feed on conflict and enjoy causing pain in others. Be prepared to let go of some relationships as you let go of your anger. Wish them well and let them go their way.
Whatever happens, always remember that forgiveness is good food for your soul.
Nora Amath
Ramadan Reflections Day 9
As a young girl, my parents always reminded me that Ramadan is a month of forgiveness. And I remembered asking my dad, always the philosopher, how I could forgive when the harm was so great and the hurt still so raw. I will never forget his words.
He asked, "How much of that hurt is controlling your life?"
I replied, "A lot."
And he continued: you are at least aware that the hurt you’ve been carrying has begun to take up too much space inside you. Some wounds stay tender because they mattered... forgiveness doesn’t deny that. It simply asks whether holding on is still protecting you, or slowly weighing you down.
Ramadan softens the heart just enough for honesty to surface. But the month doesn’t necessarily ask you to forget. It asks you to notice what remembering has cost.
In our tradition, forgiveness isn’t erasure. It’s release. It’s choosing not to let the past keep its hand on your shoulder. And this applies inwardly too, to the versions of ourselves we haven’t forgiven, long after God already has.
Forgiveness isn’t weakness. It’s a quiet strength. It doesn’t always lead to reconciliation. Sometimes it simply means putting down a weight you were never meant to carry alone.
In the stillness of Ramadan, forgiveness becomes less about letting someone else off the hook,
and more about freeing your own heart to breathe again.
@LatchKeyKid I use this recipe from the Washington Post, and yes, this sort of luxurious, slow cooked sauce is an entirely different beast to basic canteen bolognaise.
The idea is to cut the vegetables as small as you can, so I use a grater for the onion and carrot. It's a bit of work for the first hour, but after that you just need to give it a stir now and again and it mostly looks after itself. Using a mixture of pork and beef definitely gives you a better result than beef alone IMO.
I’ve been on a cookery tour of Bologna. As a vegan/vegetarian I didn’t have the ragù but the things I could eat were amazing. A city I need to go back to.
I’ve a day with nothing on, though I do need to get out for a walk and buy something for tea and make sure I’ve read the agenda properly for a meeting I’m chairing later in the week.
I'm in a rather odd need of spiritual guidance. I heard via Farcebark today that the former Dean of Belfast, who got rid of David (not before causing him rather a lot of stress), has died.
I can't mourn his loss, but I wouldn't emulate Trump's utterly vile response to Mr Mueller's death either. I shall pray for his wife and family (whom I didn't really know), but I think it would be insincere of me to pray for his soul. If Heaven is a "place of many mansions", then I hope he's in a different one from David.
So far I've followed my mother's advice: if you can't say anything nice, say nothing.
Am I being bitter and unforgiving?
Piglet, you're right on point about praying for those who grieve him..
Forgiveness isn't simple. The shift for me came when somebody who had behaved unforgiveably towards me came to see me face-to-face after an unexpected phone call, sat down and apologised without excusing himself, simply saying how sorry he was and how he regretted his behaviour. That made forgiveness not just possible but easy.
The thing here though is that he behaved badly towards David who is not able to forgive him and that is what he has to live with.
Sarasa, I misread your post and wondered why you were wandering around nude!
Now that would cause a stir in my neighbourhood. Mind you the town was once owned by Lady Godiva so perhaps there is a precident.
I didn't managed to nab a spot for Pilates this morning and I really didn't fancy Legs, Tums and Bums that looks a bit too full on for me. Instead I went for a loop of the town. Across the Market Sqaure, through the cemetery and then back via a walking/cycleway on an the site of an old railway line.
This afternoon will include gardening, knitting and generally enjoying I don't have to be anywhere this evening.
Made the effort to get to the U3a Art Group as it's the last of the term. I hadn't been going, not wanting to carry heavy cross-body bag after surgery. But I want to get back next term, chemo permitting.
Anyway, nice Japanese lady taught us origami. I can do boxes, envelopes and a crane - though I dare say I'll have forgotten by tomorrow.
Mr F off for treatment, hoping they can also provide pain relief as he had that worst combination of a racking cough (parainfluenza) and sore ribs.
Comments
I can't mourn his loss, but I wouldn't emulate Trump's utterly vile response to Mr Mueller's death either. I shall pray for his wife and family (whom I didn't really know), but I think it would be insincere of me to pray for his soul. If Heaven is a "place of many mansions", then I hope he's in a different one from David.
So far I've followed my mother's advice: if you can't say anything nice, say nothing.
Am I being bitter and unforgiving?
I agree with that.
It's been another sunny day here and our local church holding services only twice a month we accordingly went to a church in a nearby town, where a couple of people we know go. Mr Nen was in a youth group with the wife several decades ago in Kent. The people there made us very welcome - so many people stopped us to chat after the service we almost missed the coffee (and I was desperate for a cup by then).
We spent the afternoon chasing boxes and furniture round the house in an effort to make at least a couple of the rooms look more like a place people live in and less like a collection of storage units. We succeeded in the (large) lounge and now have one end of it set up with sofa and TV and the other end with two armchairs and coffee table looking out of the front (large) windows - which have new curtains which we're very pleased with.
Nen, good to hear you're beginning to get your feet under the table in your new place, and people are being friendly and welcoming!
It was a bonny day here, but apart from taking the washing to the laundry I didn't really appreciate it.
It being Lent, we had Compline this evening, at which I sang the office.
Haggis from the chippy for supper as I haven't been shopping yet.
Glad you are settling in nicely @nenya and glad you are finding welcoming churches in your new neighbourhood.
My husband came home just before 1.00 having been trying to sort out the Meeting House's Wi-Fi which he succeeded in doing. We then set of for the transport museum. My husband was thinking of taking his photography 'out and about' group to it, but fascinating though it would be to old car and bus geeks it wasn't very photogenic. It wasn't really my thing either. I like the social history side of transport and can spend hours looking at old timetables, facts about the different classes of vehicles and the engines they had, not so much. We had time afterwards to go to a local garden centre to buy some plants to fill a gap where things have either died or been moved and some ericaceous compost so I can pot up the camellia our son bought me for Mothering Sunday.
Would love your ragu recipe.
Had a distinctly better quality pasta Bolognese when we stayed for a week in Bologna. It seems that our local bolognese offerings are just trading on the name, rather than the cuisine/cucina.
The idea is to cut the vegetables as small as you can, so I use a grater for the onion and carrot. It's a bit of work for the first hour, but after that you just need to give it a stir now and again and it mostly looks after itself. Using a mixture of pork and beef definitely gives you a better result than beef alone IMO.
I’ve a day with nothing on, though I do need to get out for a walk and buy something for tea and make sure I’ve read the agenda properly for a meeting I’m chairing later in the week.
Piglet, you're right on point about praying for those who grieve him..
Forgiveness isn't simple. The shift for me came when somebody who had behaved unforgiveably towards me came to see me face-to-face after an unexpected phone call, sat down and apologised without excusing himself, simply saying how sorry he was and how he regretted his behaviour. That made forgiveness not just possible but easy.
The thing here though is that he behaved badly towards David who is not able to forgive him and that is what he has to live with.
Now that would cause a stir in my neighbourhood. Mind you the town was once owned by Lady Godiva so perhaps there is a precident.
I didn't managed to nab a spot for Pilates this morning and I really didn't fancy Legs, Tums and Bums that looks a bit too full on for me. Instead I went for a loop of the town. Across the Market Sqaure, through the cemetery and then back via a walking/cycleway on an the site of an old railway line.
This afternoon will include gardening, knitting and generally enjoying I don't have to be anywhere this evening.
🤣🤣🤣🤣
Can I refer you to Genesis chapter 7?
Anyway, nice Japanese lady taught us origami. I can do boxes, envelopes and a crane - though I dare say I'll have forgotten by tomorrow.
Mr F off for treatment, hoping they can also provide pain relief as he had that worst combination of a racking cough (parainfluenza) and sore ribs.
Dang, I won't be able to resist looking now.