I heard this morning about an 8-year-old girl, Sydney, who died last night of liver cancer that metastasized to her lungs. She was diagnosed three years ago. It is heartbreaking.
Thank you Patdys. I am thinking tonight of my BIL struggling with radiotherapy for mesothelioma recently diagnosed but he had been in pain for many months before. Nothing I have seen holds out hope for those with this form of cancer at all and sometimes I wonder, why do it?
Whether to undergo treatment - how much of it, for how long, and of what variety - is frequently a serious question. I haven't had to ponder it yet, but the time may well come.
And now I'm cursing the injustice because my friend Marsha has a brain tumor that's grown a full centimeter in the last month. I'm just trusting that the docs are right when they say there's some hope for her.
Mine took 20+ years to get to 5.5cm, 'they' reckon.....
If 'they' can get the whole thing out in one go, so much the better. Even if there are rogue cells still present, they can sometimes be mopped up by radiotherapy (my Darling Clementine - so called because it was the size of a small orange - turned out to be non-malignant, praise be to God).
Where's that blasted votive candle thingy when you want it?
...If 'they' can get the whole thing out in one go, so much the better. Even if there are rogue cells still present, they can sometimes be mopped up by radiotherapy (my Darling Clementine - so called because it was the size of a small orange - turned out to be non-malignant, praise be to God). ...
Mine was small, but it was in the cerebral cortex, and thus unreachable by conventional surgery (autopsies aside). Radiotherapy seems to have done the trick, although it cost me a bit in some ways.
I'm using <votive> for the candle thingie. It is not entirely satisfactory, but one does what one can.
Re incurable cancers (or any other acute and terminal condition, for that matter), where continued treatment is unlikely to be efficacious, it may indeed seem that continued prayer is also useless.
Not so, as I really don't think it's wrong, or contrary to the Gospel, to pray for death to come swiftly and peacefully to the person for whom you are concerned.
My friend Jim died the other day. We served together on an important parish committee several years ago, when he was first diagnosed, and made little jokes about being members of "Club Cancer." It came back a couple of times after treatment, most recently in August, and this time it got him. Damn.
Marsha's brain tumor seems to be growing again; she's having trouble speaking again, after making tremendous progress. I fear a miracle may be in order.
Anne, a longstanding member of the choir I am in, is declining rapidly due to pancreatic cancer. A generous and glamorous woman just into her 80s, she is not expected to see out the month.
There is something sinister about that ability to grab people apparently at random.
Pancreatic cancer is an utter bastard - it got one of my old school friends, and then our much-loved curate, less than a year after she was ordained. Now a friend from my old church is fighting it, with unusual success, but she needs chemo once a week to keep it at bay and it's not a happy way to live.
Oh, Margaret, I'm so sorry to hear that. If you send me her name, I'll add her to the list of people I'm walking for at the Cancer Support Community "Steps for Hope" on May 12.
It seems endless, this disease. Friend, just retired in Sept began chemo for lymphoma. Stage 4 of course, lodged in the bones as well. The offer is 8 months of total. Rather not lose another this year, which I told him. Unfortunately treatment is not at the same hospital as my father's. Which is a piss off.
I've just heard that someone I met a conference almost two years ago isn't expected to live much longer. Bryony came from the UK, went to Australia, married an Australian and settled there - and when we were talking over dinner I discovered that her family lives about two miles from us! They were coming over to visit them that Christmas and were going to drop in on us - but we didn't hear from them and now I suspect I know why. She was diagnosed with lung cancer, and it's spread to her brain. She can't be more than forty, if that.
And I've just been told that my friend Marsha's (mostly-excised) brain tumor is rapidly growing back, hurting her ability to talk and use her right arm. I am told by a friend that "there will be no remission." Dammit, God!
I'm looking for youtubes and other amusements for my friend during chemo. The last one we found was Chicken Attack which is very silly. His wife said the nurses liked it too, though the way of telling about it may have been they liked watching him laugh about it. Any and all suggestions welcome.
I like to read during my infusions - usually newspapers and magazines. (With all the interruptions, books can be too hard to pop in and out of.) But conversations with friends are good, too!
Dear God, what's worse? I've had experience of temporary disability (think 'effects of a stroke'), but no real acute pain.
For me, I think pain would be the worst of the two evils - I have a constant (but variable) chronic nagging pain in leg/hip/knee joints, but it's at least liveable and copeable with...
On September first my brother went to the ER because of a bad dizzy spell. He was admitted for tests and the next day he met with a doctor who walked in and said, "You have cancer. It's in your neck, inoperable, and has already spread. So it's terminal."
So for the last six months he has had chemo and responded well to it. He has also kept a marvelous, positive attitude. However. Last week he started radiation. It's quite miserable what with the mesh Darth Vader mask he has to wear, etc.
Here's the latest thing. He has just been told, for the first time, that he will need radiation on his mouth as well as his neck. It will mean losing his salivary glands, then all his teeth, then probably most of his hearing, will have trouble breathing and finally need a feeding tube.
He has a good friend with the same sort of cancer who went through all the above, but it was ultimately worth it for him because his cancer had not metastasized, so he has been in remission for ten years since.
So my brother is asking himself if all these miserable, "side effects," will be worth it if his life expectancy is only a year or so and wondering which of his many cancer doctors can give him the most straight forward advice about this decision. Or even if he has any choice at all.
Quality of life issues make for the most personal decisions possible. I have been fortunate so far, functioning pretty normally through Stages III and IV since November 2010. For myself, though, I long ago concluded that just continuing to breathe for a little longer in the face of debilitating pain and endless procedures would not be enough.
Back to activities during infusions, I've frequently logged on remotely to my computer at work and gotten a couple of hours of work in. However, the winner and all-time champion is the guy in the cubical next to me who conducted a webinar while being treated.
Quality of life issues make for the most personal decisions possible. I have been fortunate so far, functioning pretty normally through Stages III and IV since November 2010. For myself, though, I long ago concluded that just continuing to breathe for a little longer in the face of debilitating pain and endless procedures would not be enough.
Thanks Rossweisse, you're an amazing example of courage and that quality I admire so much of just putting one foot after the other, day after day.
We heard a wee while ago that a friend in Newfoundland had been diagnosed with cancer; originally we'd heard it was in his throat and brain, but I was talking to another friend this week and she says it's now everywhere, and he's not well enough for radiation or chemo. He's only 66.
Why does f*cking cancer only ever seem to affect really nice people?
My FiL survived 2+ decades of Parkinson's, refusing to give up his humour or self-determination. He declined use of a wheelchair, preferring to fall a lot instead - and unabashed in his requests to be helped back up. Which we did, gladly. The degeneration was slow, and the result unavoidable.
But then to have cancer sweep in at this late stage, and to make him pointlessly suffer at the end is heartbreaking. Fucking cancer.
That sort of thing always gets to me, too. No matter how old I get, some part of me still expects life to be fair and when someone who has already suffered more than enough misery -- then gets cancer. It's raging time.
Catching up on this thread. I realise that it is not the thing to recommend other forums, but I also came here today after catching up on the Macmillan forum, and I'd just like to mention that if anyone needs any questions answered, they will probably find something helpful there. The positive attitude of cancer patients there is similar to what it is here. The Letrozole seems to be controlling mine.
My FiL survived 2+ decades of Parkinson's, refusing to give up his humour or self-determination. He declined use of a wheelchair, preferring to fall a lot instead - and unabashed in his requests to be helped back up. Which we did, gladly. The degeneration was slow, and the result unavoidable.
But then to have cancer sweep in at this late stage, and to make him pointlessly suffer at the end is heartbreaking. Fucking cancer.
<votive> I am so sorry, RooK. Cancer is the devil.
Mine seems to have stalled for now (thank you, Tamoxifen), but my lower back is still killing me where the metastasis has eaten into the bone. My internist is prescribing an anti-inflammatory - one pill per day, as opposed to to several Ibuprofen. We'll see how it does.
One pill per day is probably better than several, so best of luck with the new medication, Rossweisse.
A member of the congregation at Our Place, recently out of hospital after a minor op, showed me her prescription. There must be at least TWENTY items thereon, for daily use (and she, bless and preserve her, doesn't have cancer).
<votive> for all those coping with the Big C, in whatever form. One day, the effing bastard will be defeated (said he, hopefully).
Comments
I heard this morning about an 8-year-old girl, Sydney, who died last night of liver cancer that metastasized to her lungs. She was diagnosed three years ago. It is heartbreaking.
I believe God gives a shit.
So do we.
And now I'm cursing the injustice because my friend Marsha has a brain tumor that's grown a full centimeter in the last month. I'm just trusting that the docs are right when they say there's some hope for her.
Mine took 20+ years to get to 5.5cm, 'they' reckon.....
If 'they' can get the whole thing out in one go, so much the better. Even if there are rogue cells still present, they can sometimes be mopped up by radiotherapy (my Darling Clementine - so called because it was the size of a small orange - turned out to be non-malignant, praise be to God).
Where's that blasted votive candle thingy when you want it?
IJ
or is the best we can do at the moment.
for Marsha.
IJ
Mine was small, but it was in the cerebral cortex, and thus unreachable by conventional surgery (autopsies aside). Radiotherapy seems to have done the trick, although it cost me a bit in some ways.
I'm using <votive> for the candle thingie. It is not entirely satisfactory, but one does what one can.
Not so, as I really don't think it's wrong, or contrary to the Gospel, to pray for death to come swiftly and peacefully to the person for whom you are concerned.
That also applies to oneself, I think.
IJ
Hope for cure
Hope for a long life
Hope for good symptom control
Hope for a good death
Hope for the bereaved
Death is not the enemy.
And I would not support prolonging dying.
I think prayer in and around. and for a swift death is absolutely OK.
IJ
Amen.
My late mother used to pray for healing, and let God decide what form that healing should take. I have followed her example.
Lamb Chopped, I am so very sorry. Prayers ascending. <votive>
<candle> for LC's sister.
IJ
<candle>
IJ
There is something sinister about that ability to grab people apparently at random.
May Anne not suffer pain in these last days.
<votive>
IJ
<votive> For Anne.
If there is to be no remission, may there also be no pain.
IJ
Horses for courses, I know...
Dear God, what's worse? I've had experience of temporary disability (think 'effects of a stroke'), but no real acute pain.
For me, I think pain would be the worst of the two evils - I have a constant (but variable) chronic nagging pain in leg/hip/knee joints, but it's at least liveable and copeable with...
Kyrie, eleison.
IJ
So for the last six months he has had chemo and responded well to it. He has also kept a marvelous, positive attitude. However. Last week he started radiation. It's quite miserable what with the mesh Darth Vader mask he has to wear, etc.
Here's the latest thing. He has just been told, for the first time, that he will need radiation on his mouth as well as his neck. It will mean losing his salivary glands, then all his teeth, then probably most of his hearing, will have trouble breathing and finally need a feeding tube.
He has a good friend with the same sort of cancer who went through all the above, but it was ultimately worth it for him because his cancer had not metastasized, so he has been in remission for ten years since.
So my brother is asking himself if all these miserable, "side effects," will be worth it if his life expectancy is only a year or so and wondering which of his many cancer doctors can give him the most straight forward advice about this decision. Or even if he has any choice at all.
Or to make a long story short. Cancer SUCKS!
There is no shame, nor admission of defeat, in that.
IJ
Quality of life issues make for the most personal decisions possible. I have been fortunate so far, functioning pretty normally through Stages III and IV since November 2010. For myself, though, I long ago concluded that just continuing to breathe for a little longer in the face of debilitating pain and endless procedures would not be enough.
I feel better now
'Am I warm, and upright?'
Or, 'Am I warm, and functioning to a certain extent, even though supine?'.
If the answer to either or both is 'Yes', then you're winning....
(God forgive me, I've just realised how patronising that might sound....sorry, sorry, sorry).
Thanks Rossweisse, you're an amazing example of courage and that quality I admire so much of just putting one foot after the other, day after day.
Why does f*cking cancer only ever seem to affect really nice people?
My FiL survived 2+ decades of Parkinson's, refusing to give up his humour or self-determination. He declined use of a wheelchair, preferring to fall a lot instead - and unabashed in his requests to be helped back up. Which we did, gladly. The degeneration was slow, and the result unavoidable.
But then to have cancer sweep in at this late stage, and to make him pointlessly suffer at the end is heartbreaking. Fucking cancer.
<votive> I am so sorry, RooK. Cancer is the devil.
Mine seems to have stalled for now (thank you, Tamoxifen), but my lower back is still killing me where the metastasis has eaten into the bone. My internist is prescribing an anti-inflammatory - one pill per day, as opposed to to several Ibuprofen. We'll see how it does.
A member of the congregation at Our Place, recently out of hospital after a minor op, showed me her prescription. There must be at least TWENTY items thereon, for daily use (and she, bless and preserve her, doesn't have cancer).
<votive> for all those coping with the Big C, in whatever form. One day, the effing bastard will be defeated (said he, hopefully).
IJ